Downfall Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) This is my orginal post at: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/448908-long-term-gf-only-girl-9-years-cheated I would like to update my situation. I got cheated on way back towards the beginning of November by my gf of 9 years. We've been dating since we were both 14 (now I'm 23) and was so close to asking her to marry me. I had to return the ring the following day, which was suppose to be my Christmas gift. I just broke up several days before Christmas and have been going NC but it's been so hard. She still calls asking for a second time and reminding me of our early school years but I can't get over it. The whole thing makes me want to really throw up. I no longer feel like I'm her first. How can I when she let someone else inside her? I feel as if I've lost a great portion of my life. She was not just my gf and soon-to-be fiancee but my best friend from those early teen years. I've been getting drunk these last couple days. I can't stop thinking about how and it makes me even more depressed when I see people happy with their family, friends, bf/gf celebrating it all together while I'm now single and could careless about dating for the meantime. I just want to be all alone. And yet I still have many of our old pictures, all of them dating back from our early years. I'll never understand why she did it. Why she threw away everything, our friendship, our love and overall our whole history together. I don't know if I'll ever stop hurting. I wanted her in my life. Part of me wants to forgive but I can't forget. These images are going through my mind and I can't stop thinking about everything they must have done together. Edited January 1, 2014 by Downfall Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Was it a one night stand or an affair with someone else? How long did it last? You two are you so young, at 14 and still together at age 23, that's a long time and a lot of history as well. She certainly messed up horribly, and I'm not defending her or saying what she did was okay, but if she is truly remorseful and is willing to prove to you she's worthy of a chance to make things right, do counseling and whatever it takes, would you consider giving her a chance? People deserve 2nd chances if they are worthy of it and genuinely apologetic and own up to what they've done. It hurts, it sucks and I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, especially this time of year. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Downfall Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 It was a nearly 2 month old affair with an acquaintance I got introduced to a while back on a social gathering. They had sex twice (well according to what she told me when I found out) overall and went out on several dates. I'm having a hard time deciding whether to forgive or not because if it wasn't for my best friend informing me about the day he caught her with the OM at a restaurant, I may have never found out. It kills me that this would have kept going on. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 DO NOT FORGIVE HER. She was with you for so long it was natural for her to want to experience what else is out there. Move on and do the same. Yes you will hurt for a very long time, but you will get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Downfall Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 DO NOT FORGIVE HER.I've been battling this feeling. While I'm still emotional and sometimes have the urge to pick up the phone (and almost did) and talk to her, hear her voice once again, I'm also trying to move on and forget her. She was with you for so long it was natural for her to want to experience what else is out there.I never felt that way during the relationship. It was only her I wanted and no one else. I was ready to settle down and form a family with her. My love for her was the type that never dies. Move on and do the same. Yes you will hurt for a very long time, but you will get over her.I will move on but I'm not ready for a relationship, not even a date at this moment. It's too early now and really need some time to sort this out. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Unless you have kids cheating should be the absolute death of the relationship. While you felt no desire to see what else is out there, in most relationships where people have been dating since they were teenagers, one partner usually does. From what I've seen, it usually is the girl. Of course you are not ready for a new relationship or to date now. Nobody is saying that you should be. Since you've been with her for so long, it make take a year or more to be ready to get out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts