married2school Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 railerswim, it really does sound like you have a lot going for you. I know that doesn't necessarily help, but I do mean it. The fact of the matter is, some people are going to be very sure they prefer certain things in people of the opposite sex, and some of those thing are probably going to be shallow. And yes, it sort of sucks. I can come up with a list of reasons why the general male population isn't attracted to me. But fact of the matter is, I don't really want to attract the entire general male population (I mean I do sort of), but deep down, I want someone who likes me for me. If you were taller, yes, you might get some girl who is drop dead beautiful, and you might get along great. But if she was the type of person who couldn't like the same person because that guy is short - is she really, really worth it? If anything, it almost becomes a shallow-ness detector. And who's to say you can't find another gal who's okay with your height, who is drop dead beautiful, who you get along with? Those people exist. I'm sure of it. There are a few of us out there that wouldn't mind one bit. Granted, you might have more success with the shorter females, but just the same, we all probably have better luck in some sort of demographic. I myself am 5'2" and rather tiny, and the past few guys I have dated, I admit, they have been much taller than me. But my current boyfriend, probably isn't but a couple of inches taller than me, and I asked HIM out and never once did I think twice about him being on the shorter side of the male population. And that was the first time I've ever went to the trouble of asking a guy out myself - because I liked him so much I wanted to take the risk of him saying no. I don't give two flying ****s about his height. If anything, I say screw that whole if you're taller the girl can hug you and tuck her head underneath your chin business. That's dumb to me. I love the fact that I can walk up and surprise him at any given moment and plant a kiss on his cheek or lips. This is me trying to surprise kiss a tall guy --> Screw jumping. I wouldn't want my bf even a millimeter taller than he is. I am sure there are girls out there who could care less how tall you are. You are only 20, right? So the girls aren't falling all over you… I'm 23, and guys weren't exactly all falling over me in college. Assuming you would like a nice steady relationship, it only takes one great girl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 When short guys like you are young, they should forget about dating and put all their energy into planning a successful, lucrative career. Then they will get the girls who have had their fun with the tall, less successful guys and now want to settle down with someone stable and financially secure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Becasue youre told all your life short is unattratcive and how tall dark and handsome is the ideal and how pretty much all women want a tall men though some may settle Really no reason to be confident in the dating world as a short man,you just gotta wait aorudn and hope some of the women are tired of being pumped out by tall guys and want to settle dow nand have kdis eventually and maybe you can fall into a relationship 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I had a very pretty friend in college. She was the prettiest girl in my circle of friends. She was also the most sought-after by men - even though she didn't treat men well and constantly cheated on pretty much every boyfriend or fiancé she had. I've never cheated and I treat my man well. Still, because of the face she was born with, she got a lot more attention from men than I ever did. Summary: Life isn't fair. Make the best of what you've got. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1908 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I'm 5'5 and I found more success as I got older and older. Confidence grew by leaps and bounds (especially the last few years; in my late 20's now) sense of fashion vastly improved and flirting skills got much better amongst other improvements. Height is something you can't really change mate. You have to accept that's who you are for life. The sooner you accept it, the happier you'll be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Hi railerswim, I am 5 feet tall and so just about everyone (unless I go to China) is taller than me. I looooove short guys - I think they're cute ! Here are some celebs with height differences. Photos of celebrity couples with a height difference - Celebrity Galleries on Glamour.com (Glamour.com UK) You just haven't found the right girl yet, so don't worry. Its great you say you love short guys, but you dont say that your bf short or your last ONS was short. Anyway that was not really what prompted me to post. It was that link you gave. Its almost like you are taking the piss. Its pretty much all short girls with guys a foot taller then them. lol OP - it will be tough with your height but you are so young to have such a gloomy attitude that your life is so predetermined and its hopeless. I hope things turn around for the better soon. You did mention an ex, so it seems you have experienced success before. Edited January 2, 2014 by ascendotum 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I had a very pretty friend in college. She was the prettiest girl in my circle of friends. She was also the most sought-after by men - even though she didn't treat men well and constantly cheated on pretty much every boyfriend or fiancé she had. I've never cheated and I treat my man well. Still, because of the face she was born with, she got a lot more attention from men than I ever did. Summary: Life isn't fair. Make the best of what you've got. yes life ins't fair, and you've obviously done better than OP has, but how is that a helpful shred of information to OP? it sounds like bragging. a perpetual theme among men who struggle in dating seems to be shortness, there's no doubt about it OP is going to struggle to find interested women, no philosophizing is going to change that. Money might. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author railerswim Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 Yeah I just got friendzoned yet again last night by a girl I've been talking to a girl that I've been talking to for a month. Yeah I feel like I got thrown in a trash can and then some one threw dog excrement on top of me. She didn't even give me credit like thanks for thinking of me that way or you're sweet and all, or you you're a nice guy but... I mean it's not going to kill me but I feel like I was being called a pig even though she didn't say anything other than "Sorry I mislead you" I'm all down because I keep having failed attempts left and right. I feel like I could ask out every girl on my college campus and still not have a date. Link to post Share on other sites
HopelessRomantic76 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I would date a short guy if he has everyhting else going for him,plus hes prboably be less arrogant and be less likely to cheat then a tall guy who knows most women want him because of his height alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author railerswim Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 I would date a short guy if he has everyhting else going for him,plus hes prboably be less arrogant and be less likely to cheat then a tall guy who knows most women want him because of his height alone. Yeah that's exactly the problem with a big group of women, excuse me girls. They can't get past the height unfortunately. I have run into this over and over, it's like who ever dates me is scraping the barrel in the girl community. I'm not the bottom of the freaking barrel. I can offer so much and I hate that I'm being discredited for that. Is it sad when my ex that is getting married feels sorry for me because she treated me better than how girls are treating me now (and she treated me like ****). Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 yes life ins't fair, and you've obviously done better than OP has, but how is that a helpful shred of information to OP? it sounds like bragging. a perpetual theme among men who struggle in dating seems to be shortness, there's no doubt about it OP is going to struggle to find interested women, no philosophizing is going to change that. Money might. Ruby hinted in another short guy thread that this is payback for short men being shallow and now we know how women feel or something shes not the most empathetic person out there to put it nicely lets just put it that way 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I would date a short guy if he has everyhting else going for him,plus hes prboably be less arrogant and be less likely to cheat then a tall guy who knows most women want him because of his height alone. My god so if a guys tall it doesnt matter what his face looks like? I guess being tall for a man is the equivalent of a women having a nice ass tits face and stomach wrapped in one lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 My god so if a guys tall it doesnt matter what his face looks like? I guess being tall for a man is the equivalent of a women having a nice ass tits face and stomach wrapped in one lol I'm tall, and I'm telling you, it's not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I'm tall, and I'm telling you, it's not. you had Autism if I remembered correctly, therefore your experiences are different to that of an atypical tall male. in fact, once you fixed your mental hangups/confidence etc, then you started getting dates. In the majority of cases Ive seen, if a male is complaining about being dateless and alone he is short or at best average height. Short men do have a low market value with women, there is no way to change that, there is no point in denying reality. 5'4" is well outside the average range for male height, at least for a male living in the West. Any time you deviate that much from the average you are going to have a small pool of compatible romantic partners. In OP's case if you do the maths a very small pool.OP has to compensate somehow, there's no point in telling him otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I would date a short guy if he has everyhting else going for him,plus hes prboably be less arrogant and be less likely to cheat then a tall guy who knows most women want him because of his height alone. "everything going for him otherwise" = rich, educated, high status. Such an attitude in itself betrays a naivety towards the difficulty in obtaining those qualities. It might take a man well into his thirties to get a high paying career, if he is lucky. Most men will never break 6 figures or go to graduate school. You are asking short men to be superheroes. Or in the case of Fitgirl, her advice to short men was to abstain from dating and focus on building a career. How would you feel if you were told you were going to be dateless throughout your twenties, your prime years, due to a factor outside your control? Most people would break down in tears facing such a reality. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Despite what some on here would have you believe, being short is not a death sentence. No you don't have to "make up for it " by being exceptional in other areas. Same rules apply to short men as do all men. Have a solid personality, be well groomed, have a working knowledge of how women and relationships in general work, be confident. The rest is out of your control. If a woman thinks since she's giving a short man a chance that he needs to be superior in other areas, she's not worth your time. Believe it or not there are women out there who don't see height as something you must either have, or greatly make up for if you lack it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SarahB100 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 My first boyfriend was the same height as me (5 ft 8, maybe 5 ft 9). He had a massive complex about it, it drove me insane. Second guy I had a romantic interest in was the same height. That didn't work out because I moved away. My current boyfriend is the same height as me also. I have only had two partners who were taller than me. One was a bit cocky and well, that didn't work out because other than looks he was just pretty vapid. Height definitely did not make him attractive and certainly couldn't compensate for the fact he had no real interest in anything other than drinking. Another guy I was seeing was very tall and skinny. To be honest, it got annoying because I got a crick in my neck every time we kissed (he was THAT tall!) With my current boyfriend, at first I had thought, well yeah, it'd be nice if he were a bit taller. I won't lie, it is nice to have a guy taller than you, i guess mainly due to that feeling of a big masculine presence that is reassuring. When we were first dating I wasn't sure if he was shorter than me, but I just sort of thought, well, it really doesn't matter. I have feelings for this person and we really get on well, who cares about height difference? He has lots of amazing qualities too. height doesn't even factor into it now for me. It gives me a nice excuse not to wear heels. Sounds cringey, but the connection/feelings you have for a person matter so much more than height or any other physical characteristic. I can't think of any other way to put it. And the girls who ended up with guys taller than you - I doubt they went specifically looking for a taller guy, it's just guys do tend in general to be taller than girls. I would say it's much more likely to be coincidence. With people who are this hung up on something physical, well (I don't mean to judge!) they tend to be this way towards other people too. Are you going for shallow girls because you are concentrating on something shallow? Maybe focus on finding someone you get along with and forget about height altogether. I promise it won't matter to the right girl. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 My uncle got married to my aunt 33 years ago. He is short and ugly (I love him but he is) though he is talkative, social and charming cause of this. My aunt was a former model, like one head taller than him and surely really beautiful. They got 6 kids, my uncle is till today one of the best fathers I've known, a good husband and he has worked his way up and has made a lot of money for his kids. Though we would all have imagined the contrary, he was the one who was always confident to keep this kind of woman my aunt was (and still is). He makes himself seem like a catch only by believing in himself and being confident. Stop looking for women who care about looks. Sell your personality instead of your height and this is what women will buy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author railerswim Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 My uncle got married to my aunt 33 years ago. He is short and ugly (I love him but he is) though he is talkative, social and charming cause of this. My aunt was a former model, like one head taller than him and surely really beautiful. They got 6 kids, my uncle is till today one of the best fathers I've known, a good husband and he has worked his way up and has made a lot of money for his kids. Though we would all have imagined the contrary, he was the one who was always confident to keep this kind of woman my aunt was (and still is). He makes himself seem like a catch only by believing in himself and being confident. Stop looking for women who care about looks. Sell your personality instead of your height and this is what women will buy. I'm trying to but unfortunately some of those women do care about looks and I just happen to gain interest in them over their personality only to find out in the end that they don't want to date me. It's like I'm focusing on personality that's it, and I'm just attracted to the common personalities of shallow women before finding out they're shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 So ive gathered short men can eventually find a women but a women well never be physically attracted to a man under the average and he has to do it with his personality Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 So ive gathered short men can eventually find a women but a women well never be physically attracted to a man under the average and he has to do it with his personality I've been called hot on numerous occasions. There has to be a level of physical attraction for a relationship to work. The girls who date me/want to date me don't just like me for my personality but my looks as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
married2school Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 So ive gathered short men can eventually find a women but a women well never be physically attracted to a man under the average and he has to do it with his personality Uhm, I'm ridiculously physically attracted to my short boyfriend. He's got an amazing smile and smiles a ton. He's got a cool nerdy hippie look to him. I tend to have a quirky thing for a slight bump in the nose and bushier eyebrows, and he has both. Great eyes. Honestly, reminds me a bit of Daniel Radcliffe. He cycles, and has an amazing pair of legs. So, I disagree. False assumption. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) So ive gathered short men can eventually find a women but a women well never be physically attracted to a man under the average and he has to do it with his personality I'm physically attracted to a man who is no taller than 5'6". "everything going for him otherwise" = rich, educated, high status. Such an attitude in itself betrays a naivety towards the difficulty in obtaining those qualities. It might take a man well into his thirties to get a high paying career, if he is lucky. Most men will never break 6 figures or go to graduate school. You are asking short men to be superheroes. Or in the case of Fitgirl, her advice to short men was to abstain from dating and focus on building a career. How would you feel if you were told you were going to be dateless throughout your twenties, your prime years, due to a factor outside your control? Most people would break down in tears facing such a reality. I don't think height makes or breaks a man or his dating or other possibilities. But if I really felt that my entire life was devastated by being a short guy, I couldn't be convinced otherwise and was arguing for my limitation, I hope that I would have the courage to do something about it. I would have limb lengthening surgery. I would save up the money, do whatever it takes. If you feel your life is demolished anyway, why not? I don't recommend surgery, but there is indeed something that can be done for this condition. Complaining that life is unfair will not, and in fact it will only repel more women. Edited January 2, 2014 by lollipopspot Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I have 2 things to say on this. 1. Attraction is created by chemistry. There are girls that exist that like guys who are short because of how they act, who they are, and their other physical features. There will also always be guys who like big girls, and girls who like chubby guys compared to a six pack of shaven abs. Basically, your attitude/ability to create attraction through conversation trumps physical appearance. Your options being short will be more limited but I promise they exist. I suspect this has more to do with your approach. I am a tall guy and I spent my first two years of college getting blown out of the water because I was terrible at talking to girls and didn't understand them at all. Take this time now to learn about girls and how to approach. College is also highly competitive and nobody knows what they want. Don't try to look for a perfect relationship, take what you get, and know it will get better later. 2. I have heard a lot of "life isn't fair" in this thread. Someone please tell me how that is constructive advice. Yes, life isn't fair but that doesn't mean that we as people support it. Human beings strive for a sense of fairness when dealing with others. Its called empathy. Bottom line is this, hes short and wont get taller and girls don't like that. Try and come up with ways around it instead of accepting that its ok for people to be disgustingly shallow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate 2.0 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Why it's hard for Short Guys to just gain confidence. Because it's too high up to reach. I couldn't resist.:lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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