d0nnivain Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I have known a dear friend had an alcohol problem for a long time. Her entire immediate family is in recovery but she's in denial. Last night -- NYE -- we were all at a party & she was her typical drunken self. She got cut off by the bar around 11. After the bar closed we all went back to somebody else's house & continued partying. At that point, in a house, when we knew she was safe, nobody gave her grief about her continued drinking, which makes us all enablers to a large extent. This has been going on for years. Anyway, despite the large quantities of available alcohol all over the house party, this morning when we all woke up, the party's hostess found mini airplane bottles of booze in & under the bed where the drunk friend slept. That really scares me that with all the alcohol in the house & all of us drinking that she still felt the need to sneak more booze. In the past her mother has asked me if I thought an intervention would help. I was reluctant for a lot of reasons. Mostly, I think the person has to want to quit but this is beyond bad now. I know if it will work, it's going to have to be more than just all of us "ganging up" on her. We will need help. Does anybody know where or how I can find a professional to facilitate such an encounter? When I tried searching the internet I just got back to the TV show but no meaningful help. Any guidance would be appreciated. I suspect that once we confront her, it's going to take an inpatient program to get her clean because there's no way she won't have a physical reaction -- DT's etc. -- as she tries to get sober, if we can even convince her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 All these people here on LS & nobody has any insight into intervention? Does it even work or are the 12-steppers right -- it will only happen when the person has hit rock bottom & is ready? Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) Google "alcohol intervention service" in your area. I found this one with a quick search (haven't looked into them at all), but have a look around before deciding: http://family-intervention.com/directory/intervention/ Alternatively, get in touch with a local addiction/rehabilitation centre - they should be able to point you in the right direction. Interventions certainly can work, and 12 stepping isn't for everyone. Her friends and family will need to be involved and cease enabling behaviour to maximise the chance of success. Edited January 15, 2014 by almond Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Thanks for the suggestion almond. I did Google intervention services & I spoke to several "counselors". This is a very expensive process & the intervention is not covered by insurance. Many of the places I found were under investigation by various governmental agencies. Several "counselors" I spoke to sounded like complete whack job charlatans on the phone. Two seemed OK & they got the stamp of approval -- or at least legitimacy -- from places like the Better Business Bureau & my state's attorney general / department of consumer protection. Yet I remain skeptical. I was hoping for some personal stories. I have no faith in the testimonials I read on the websites. Those rave reviews were "bought & paid for" in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 All these people here on LS & nobody has any insight into intervention? LS'ers are generally more into self-help, hence the discussion forum, compared to paid professional solutions. I see it most often in the reticence to use professional counselors and psychologists for behavioral problems. Drug and/or alcohol addiction is, IMO, a magnitude beyond behavioral/relationship issues and local resources and referrals are better places to get things like interventions handled. My bet is that detox centers have resources like facilitators, as interventions can often end up in a facility. As an anecdote, my exW and her BF, who is a recovering alcoholic, apparently did a couple of interventions with her best female friend (former now) and were generally unsuccessful, though one apparently got the lady into professional in-patient detox. Ultimately, though, she failed and died a couple weeks ago at age 49. My understanding is the process cost around 30K out of pocket. No guarantees. My first stop would be detox centers and/or professional mental health practitioners who specialize in treating addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) Carhill -- thanks for your insight into LS. I hadn't really picked up on the anti-professional help vibe but you're right. This is a self help form. Unfortunately, addiction rarely has a self help cure. The sense I'm getting is the initial contact with the intervention professional costs $3 - $4k plus hotel & airfare for the professional & the person to the facility. Then there is the cost of inpatient treatment which may be covered by health insurance but that's not guaranteed. I know my friend is in such a bad way that she will require acute medical care as she detoxes which is covered by all insurance because it's not considered addiction . . . it's billed / coded some other way so it gets paid while they are in the actual hospital for the 1st 72+ hours. The who pays for the next 30-60 days depends. I tried searching "does intervention work" but only got ads for facilities not stories pro or con. I was kind of hoping to find something like the Pink Truth which is the blog about selling MaryKay & Avon or all the blogs about why paying $100k for law school is not the pathway to riches many think. Edited January 15, 2014 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Have you considered doing it yourselves, without involving a professional? How To Do An Intervention ^ Pretty basic, but food for thought. Re: expenses - after the initial detox, many can recover without going inpatient. If your insurance won't cover it, a 12 step program might be something to consider, or perhaps individual addiction counseling/support groups. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You could take her to a hospital. You could ask her Mom to fund it if she doesn't have insurance. Yes, intervention works - on some. I'm living proof. But I was miserable enough to admit I couldn't do it on my own. AA is free - but, like I said, if she's not going to admit and be willing to change - then step away and allow her to get to a miserable place - there's value in being scared! See IF she's willing to change... Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Have you considered doing it yourselves, without involving a professional? How To Do An Intervention ^ Pretty basic, but food for thought. Re: expenses - after the initial detox, many can recover without going inpatient. If your insurance won't cover it, a 12 step program might be something to consider, or perhaps individual addiction counseling/support groups. We have all individually talked to her about her drinking. She doesn't listen. If this has any shot at working it will need a pro. The mom wants to look at going on TV but I told her I want no part of that. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 A planned intervention with friends and family all present and participating is a lot different than having individual chats with the addict. I wouldn't discount it so quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
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