How do I let go of the anger towards her?

[somedude81]

It's been a month since she left me, and I'm still very mad at her. Not only that I'm still confused on what happened as well as feeling lost and lonely.

 

Whenever I'm alone I'm always cursing her out loud. So far I've been successful at preventing myself from sending her any nasty texts, though I got the very strong urge to do so this morning when she didn't respond to my new year text. Though honestly the only real reason I haven't cursed her out over text is because I don't want to burn the bridge. I stupidly still have a tiny amount of hope that she'd come back.

 

I'm also starting to get thoughts when I'm trying to fall asleep of physically hurting her. That is really starting to scare me.

 

I don't want to hate this girl but that looks like how things are turning out.

 

I don't know if I was in love with her, but she was my first girlfriend, we've been together for six months and I had never felt as strongly about any other woman as I did about her.

 

I know I have to let go of the anger and allow myself to heal but it's not working.

[pickflicker]

You NEED to go and see a doctor about your anger issues.

[theothersully]

the anger will go away eventually once you forget about her. I felt just as angry as you do and sent plenty of nasty texts when my break up first happened.

 

 

I know it doesn't seem like it, but time will fix it. Eventually, you just don't care anymore.

[JDPT]

First and foremost, understand that this is a perfectly normal phase that you are experiencing in your BU. I used to curse the day my ex was born and wished her nothing but the worst like can bring her. I also had crazy thoughts of wanting to harm her not directly but financially and things of that nature. I was amazed at how she at one point was the most precious thing on this earth and I would have given my life for her to wishing she would just jump off a cliff and die a slow death.

 

 

Take it easy on yourself, be gentle and breathe, know that those feelings will eventually subside and dissipate. However, you must proactively work towards making things better for yourself and ridding of those emotions because as you know they are only detrimental to you. You must work very hard at just letting go, tell yourself that you just need to release yourself from the past. It's no longer your responsibility to worry about her or have any hatred towards her, it's not your job to have these feelings towards them. Tell yourself that you quit and you are out of here and choose to let go of those feelings. Be strong my friend.

[ponchsox]

You don't need to see a doctor. What are they going to do, prescribe some pills?

 

Anger is a normal post breakup phase. I sent some really nasty texts to my ex gf that were completely out of character. I felt really guilty about it when the anger subsided and had to send an apology email.

 

The best thing to do is vent here first. Plenty of people to support you. GL.

[xxoo]

Take up boxing, or train for a marathon. Exhaust yourself physically until the emotion is released. Repeat as needed.

[pickflicker]

You don't need to see a doctor. What are they going to do, prescribe some pills?

 

Anger is a normal post breakup phase. I sent some really nasty texts to my ex gf that were completely out of character. I felt really guilty about it when the anger subsided and had to send an apology email.

 

The best thing to do is vent here first. Plenty of people to support you. GL.

 

He himself said he was scared of the thoughts re: hurting her. He needs to speak to someone.

[ThaWholigan]

Take up boxing, or train for a marathon. Exhaust yourself physically until the emotion is released. Repeat as needed.

This.

 

SD, what you have to do is the same thing I used to say you should do before you even got this GF.

 

Find something else to do. Seriously, pick up a new interest, build a new social circle - something other than what you normally do. Otherwise you will continue to marinade on it. The feelings will subside after a while, but you will make it easier on yourself if you put your mind on something else. You can always vent here if you're still mad.

[somedude81]

the anger will go away eventually once you forget about her. I felt just as angry as you do and sent plenty of nasty texts when my break up first happened.

 

 

I know it doesn't seem like it, but time will fix it. Eventually, you just don't care anymore.

Heh, did she ever respond? It does feel good to know that I'm not the only one to feel lots of anger when a relationship ends.

 

I know time will help fix it, but I also know that I'll never forget her.

First and foremost, understand that this is a perfectly normal phase that you are experiencing in your BU. I used to curse the day my ex was born and wished her nothing but the worst like can bring her. I also had crazy thoughts of wanting to harm her not directly but financially and things of that nature. I was amazed at how she at one point was the most precious thing on this earth and I would have given my life for her to wishing she would just jump off a cliff and die a slow death.

Good. Good. I'm not going crazy.

 

Yeah it's amazing how thoughts can go from having her be the most important person in my life to wanting her to suffer and back to missing her.

 

It's going back and from love to hate to love again.

Take it easy on yourself, be gentle and breathe, know that those feelings will eventually subside and dissipate. However, you must proactively work towards making things better for yourself and ridding of those emotions because as you know they are only detrimental to you. You must work very hard at just letting go, tell yourself that you just need to release yourself from the past. It's no longer your responsibility to worry about her or have any hatred towards her, it's not your job to have these feelings towards them. Tell yourself that you quit and you are out of here and choose to let go of those feelings. Be strong my friend.

How do I do that?

 

I want to let go and not think about her anymore. But she's on my mind every second that I'm awake.

 

Is all I can do is tell myself what I have to do?

You don't need to see a doctor. What are they going to do, prescribe some pills?.

Yeah that seemed pretty ridiculous.

 

I can imagine myself telling a doctor that I've been feeling very angry because my girlfriend dumped me and he'd look at me and say, "No sh*t."

 

Anger is a normal post breakup phase. I sent some really nasty texts to my ex gf that were completely out of character. I felt really guilty about it when the anger subsided and had to send an apology email.

I wonder if I should send her some nasty texts just because. But I should probably leave the stupid girl alone.

 

The best thing to do is vent here first. Plenty of people to support you. GL

Yeah I definitely enjoy venting here. It does clam me down.

[theothersully]

He himself said he was scared of the thoughts re: hurting her. He needs to speak to someone.

 

Disagree.

 

I had thoughts like that too post break up. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you need help. The anger subsides naturally. The thought goes away. All is well.

 

Those thoughts crept into my head for a few minutes, about 3x and they are frightening. But,they go away.

[ponchsox]

Heh, did she ever respond? It does feel good to know that I'm not the only one to feel lots of anger when a relationship ends.

 

I know time will help fix it, but I also know that I'll never forget her.

 

Good. Good. I'm not going crazy.

 

Yeah it's amazing how thoughts can go from having her be the most important person in my life to wanting her to suffer and back to missing her.

 

It's going back and from love to hate to love again.

 

How do I do that?

 

I want to let go and not think about her anymore. But she's on my mind every second that I'm awake.

 

Is all I can do is tell myself what I have to do?

 

Yeah that seemed pretty ridiculous.

 

I can imagine myself telling a doctor that I've been feeling very angry because my girlfriend dumped me and he'd look at me and say, "No sh*t."

 

I wonder if I should send her some nasty texts just because. But I should probably leave the stupid girl alone.

 

 

Yeah I definitely enjoy venting here. It does clam me down.

 

Honestly, sending her nasty texts (which she immediately called me on) helped me move on because I got my anger out, got emotion out of her, and it ended any future communication between us. I didn't like what I said but that is how I felt at that time. Again, not recommended, but it did help me.

[theothersully]

Did she ever respond? Sure! We had all out wars at first. These went on for months. Then, whatever douchebag she was dating joined in.

 

I believe at one point a convo went like this...

 

Ex Wife: I want to get my "things" today. (meaning cash) Bring them to me 5 hours away now.

Me: I can bring them an a couple days.

Her: If you don't bring them now, i will have to "send for my things". (told me her new douchebag was a mob guy)

Me: Send people up. Just don't send your new dude or he'll be coming home in a body bag with the rest of them.

Her: That is the most violent thing I've ever heard. I'm calling the cops.

Me: Go ahead. This is Florida. If you send people up to physically threaten me or steal things, i am well within my rights to use deadly force to stop them.

 

Mob never showed up.... but I was ready, just in case. I have a tactical shotgun and a Mac 10 and wouldn't hesitate to use them in a situation like that where legal. These are used as defensive weapons for my charter yachts. There are no cops to save you at sea.

 

I don't think it gets sketchier than that. Luckily, the mob was more afraid of me...lol

 

 

Heh, did she ever respond? It does feel good to know that I'm not the only one to feel lots of anger when a relationship ends.

 

I know time will help fix it, but I also know that I'll never forget her.

 

Good. Good. I'm not going crazy.

 

Yeah it's amazing how thoughts can go from having her be the most important person in my life to wanting her to suffer and back to missing her.

 

It's going back and from love to hate to love again.

 

How do I do that?

 

I want to let go and not think about her anymore. But she's on my mind every second that I'm awake.

 

Is all I can do is tell myself what I have to do?

 

Yeah that seemed pretty ridiculous.

 

I can imagine myself telling a doctor that I've been feeling very angry because my girlfriend dumped me and he'd look at me and say, "No sh*t."

 

I wonder if I should send her some nasty texts just because. But I should probably leave the stupid girl alone.

 

 

Yeah I definitely enjoy venting here. It does clam me down.

Edited January 2, 2014 by theothersully

[somedude81]

I think what pisses me off the most is that she mislead me for about three weeks before she decided to end it. She also let me go on a trip to see family for a week without telling me anything about her feelings.

 

I feel that from the first day that she started to become unsure about the relationship, she was lying to me. She was pretending as if nothing was off, still cuddled, still held my hand all the time and still had sex.Then she had the fu*king nerve to bring her overnight bag to my place when she knew she was going to break up with me.

 

The fu*king bitch was lying.

[theothersully]

I think what pisses me off the most is that she mislead me for about three weeks before she decided to end it. She also let me go on a trip to see family for a week without telling me anything about her feelings.

 

I feel that from the first day that she started to become unsure about the relationship, she was lying to me. She was pretending as if nothing was off, still cuddled, still held my hand all the time and still had sex.Then she had the fu*king nerve to bring her overnight bag to my place when she knew she was going to break up with me.

 

The fu*king bitch was lying.

 

Most of them seem to. Mine did the same. She was a f'n coward. The lying is what pisses us off, for sure.

 

If more people who break up would be honest, there would be a lot less anger.

[somedude81]

I think what pisses me off the most is that she mislead me for about three weeks before she decided to end it. She also let me go on a trip to see family for a week without telling me anything about her feelings.

 

I feel that from the first day that she started to become unsure about the relationship, she was lying to me. She was pretending as if nothing was off, still cuddled, still held my hand all the time and still had sex.Then she had the fu*king nerve to bring her overnight bag to my place when she knew she was going to break up with me.

 

The fu*king bitch was lying.

After I made this post, I sent her a text asking about the bag. To my complete amazement she actually replied.

 

Just like I believed she brought her bag to make it look like things were normal. She didn't want me to freakout right away. So instead I had a freakout an hour later

 

So from the very start she had no intention of staying the night. A lie with the best of intentions is still a lie.

 

I asked her a little about what she meant by saying that I liked her too much and it making her feel guily,

 

 

Me: Now I'm questioning everything I did in the relationship and wondering if I screwed up by being too affectionate. I'm afraid that my next GF will leave me if I show her my feelings. 8:23 PM

Her: But the reason why I broke up with you had nothing to do with that 8:28 PM

Me: You said that I liked you too much, more than you liked me. And that you felt guilty about that. 8:28 PM

Her: Yes but that's different than affection 8:29 PM

Her: Like I've said you've got to stop fixating and move on 8:30 PM

Me: I don't understand the difference. 8:30 PM

Me: I'm really worried that the next girl could tell me the same exact thing you did, and I get dumped because she thinks I like her more than she likes me. 8:32 PM

Her: Affection is an action. Likening someone is a feeling. 8:34 PM

Her: Liking* 8:35 PM

Me: Yes, and I showed my liking through affection. Or was there something else I did that you felt was too much? 8:35 PM

Her: No. Like I said you've got to stop fixating on everything 8:37 PM

Me: Ugh! You seriously can't be telling me that there was nothing I did. 8:37 PM

Her: And move on 8:38 PM

Me: I never again want to hear a woman say that she's leaving me because I liked her too much. That's infuriating. 8:39 PM

Her: The more you text me and bug me about stuff the more annoyed I get. You've got to learn how to deal with it on your own. You can't keep texting me. 8:39 PM

Her: I told you what happened. 8:40 PM

Her: And that's it 8:40 PM

Her: Take it or leave it. 8:40 PM

Her: Figure it out. 8:40 PM

Her: I can't tell you how to move on. 8:40 PM

Me: My main fear is to make sure I don't make the same mistakes again. I know things are over between us. 8:41 PM

Her: You have to learn on your own 8:43 PM

Her: I can't tell you how 8:43 PM

------------

After that she stopped responding.

 

So she's annoyed at me, not that I actually give a damn anymore.

 

What bugs me the most is that I don't understand about me liking her too much. If I wasn't being too affectionate then what the hell was it?

 

It appears I've reached the limit of what I can learn from her. Even if she was completely willing to answer any questions I have left, I don't think she's actually able to give me an answer.

 

She is a very sweet girl and I see that my anger at her isn't really justified. I can tell she tried to make things as easy on me as possible even if it did mean she had to lie to me.

 

BTW, if any of you are going to criticize me for talking to her, don't bother.

[pickflicker]

After I made this post, I sent her a text asking about the bag. To my complete amazement she actually replied.

 

Just like I believed she brought her bag to make it look like things were normal. She didn't want me to freakout right away. So instead I had a freakout an hour later

 

So from the very start she had no intention of staying the night. A lie with the best of intentions is still a lie.

 

I asked her a little about what she meant by saying that I liked her too much and it making her feel guily,

 

 

Me: Now I'm questioning everything I did in the relationship and wondering if I screwed up by being too affectionate. I'm afraid that my next GF will leave me if I show her my feelings. 8:23 PM

Her: But the reason why I broke up with you had nothing to do with that 8:28 PM

Me: You said that I liked you too much, more than you liked me. And that you felt guilty about that. 8:28 PM

Her: Yes but that's different than affection 8:29 PM

Her: Like I've said you've got to stop fixating and move on 8:30 PM

Me: I don't understand the difference. 8:30 PM

Me: I'm really worried that the next girl could tell me the same exact thing you did, and I get dumped because she thinks I like her more than she likes me. 8:32 PM

Her: Affection is an action. Likening someone is a feeling. 8:34 PM

Her: Liking* 8:35 PM

Me: Yes, and I showed my liking through affection. Or was there something else I did that you felt was too much? 8:35 PM

Her: No. Like I said you've got to stop fixating on everything 8:37 PM

Me: Ugh! You seriously can't be telling me that there was nothing I did. 8:37 PM

Her: And move on 8:38 PM

Me: I never again want to hear a woman say that she's leaving me because I liked her too much. That's infuriating. 8:39 PM

Her: The more you text me and bug me about stuff the more annoyed I get. You've got to learn how to deal with it on your own. You can't keep texting me. 8:39 PM

Her: I told you what happened. 8:40 PM

Her: And that's it 8:40 PM

Her: Take it or leave it. 8:40 PM

Her: Figure it out. 8:40 PM

Her: I can't tell you how to move on. 8:40 PM

Me: My main fear is to make sure I don't make the same mistakes again. I know things are over between us. 8:41 PM

Her: You have to learn on your own 8:43 PM

Her: I can't tell you how 8:43 PM

------------

After that she stopped responding.

 

So she's annoyed at me, not that I actually give a damn anymore.

 

What bugs me the most is that I don't understand about me liking her too much. If I wasn't being too affectionate then what the hell was it?

 

It appears I've reached the limit of what I can learn from her. Even if she was completely willing to answer any questions I have left, I don't think she's actually able to give me an answer.

 

She is a very sweet girl and I see that my anger at her isn't really justified. I can tell she tried to make things as easy on me as possible even if it did mean she had to lie to me.

 

BTW, if any of you are going to criticize me for talking to her, don't bother.

 

Yes. You can also see that texting her is upsetting her. And that she doesn't feel great about what she did, but that she felt it was necessary.

 

For a 22 yr old, she's shown an amazing amount of maturity. No one breaks up perfectly. At her age, I expect girls to either cheat and let it 'slip', forcing a break up instead of making the hard decision, or simply doing the fade out and stop returning your calls and ghost.

 

She did the deed in person, yes? I think given her age and inexperience, she's handled things better than most people on her emotional level. Plus, the aftermath of the break up - frankly, I think she's doing a tremendous job.

Edited January 2, 2014 by pickflicker

[somedude81]

Hmm, another thought.

 

Maybe I didn't do anything wrong at all.

 

Due to her only being single for less than a month from her ex of three years, she probably wasn't prepared to care deeply for another man so soon. So when she understood what level I was at, she realized that she wasn't ready to be there with me. Unfortunately she made the choice of ending instead of seeing if her feelings would grow, but that's just how things are.

 

Which means the line she gave me and acknowledged that it's a common line, "It's not you, it's me" she was being completely honest.

[somedude81]

Yes. You can also see that texting her is upsetting her. And that she doesn't feel great about what she did, but that she felt it was necessary.

I can't tell that she's at all upset about dumping me, but I do understand that she felt it was necessary.

 

 

For a 22 yr old, she's shown an amazing amount of maturity. No one breaks up perfectly. At her age, I expect girls to either cheat and let it 'slip', forcing a break up instead of making the hard decision, or simply doing the fade out and stop returning your calls and ghost.

 

She did the deed in person, yes? I think given her age and inexperience, she's handled things better than most people on her emotional level. Plus, the aftermath of the break up - frankly, I think she's doing a tremendous job.

Yes she did break up with me in person. She drove 45 minutes to my apartment just to break up with me. She was such an amazing person.

 

The fact that she's so amazing makes it so hard to get over her. Aside from the actual break up, I have no bad memories of her. We've never had any fights and I don't have anything to hold against her.

 

When nothing was ever wrong, it's hard to accept that it's over. There isn't anything I can look at and say, "that's why we broke up." Frankly it feels like my cat ran away and I'm just waiting for her to come home

[ThaWholigan]

Dude, I really believe the relationship had just run it's course. Obviously she can't articulate that to you because you believe there's some underlying cause and you can just fix it when you can't always fix it. Acceptance is a difficult thing, especially where affairs of the heart are concerned.

 

You obviously wanted it to last longer than it did, while she was probably not banking on forever or even long-term. She's mature enough to probably have clocked that somehow. For you, it's simply just to accept that there was nothing you could have done, and sadly it sucks. Whether you showered her with affection or not. Obviously there are still things you can learn for your next relationship, but the price was the death of this one. That's the process sometimes - a part of you has to die first.

[pickflicker]

Hmm, another thought.

 

Maybe I didn't do anything wrong at all.

 

Due to her only being single for less than a month from her ex of three years, she probably wasn't prepared to care deeply for another man so soon. So when she understood what level I was at, she realized that she wasn't ready to be there with me. Unfortunately she made the choice of ending instead of seeing if her feelings would grow, but that's just how things are.

 

Which means the line she gave me and acknowledged that it's a common line, "It's not you, it's me" she was being completely honest.

 

If you're crazy about someone, it doesn't matter if the person before was the love of your life - you can be dating the new person 5 minutes later and you don't even give the pervious person another thought.

 

That happened to my Dad. He had a gf, met my Mum, dumped his gf and started dating my mother. He proposed 6 weeks later, they've been married 36 years.

 

This applies to both dumped and dumpee.

 

She didn't love you as much as you loved her. She's 22 and knew that you probably had decided that you were going to spend the rest of your life with her, because it took you so long to get a relationship in the first place. Be honest, you thought you were done, right? Girl found, task completed? Because if so, and she sensed that - there's your answer. There's no great mystery. After 6 months, you should know if you're in or out. Hell, after 3 months, you should be pretty certain that you want to keep seeing someone. How much longer was she supposed to wait around for feelings to develop? A year? 2? 12 weeks is a benchmark for loads of things. 12 weeks to start and nurture an exercise program. 12 weeks to meet someone and decide if you are to date them beyond that 12 weeks. 12 weeks NC to start feeling less like relationshp roadkill and more like your previous self. She gave it double that amount of time and she still wasn't feeling it. Props to her. She could have dragged it on longer and then it would've REALLY hurt.

[somedude81]

Dude, I really believe the relationship had just run it's course. Obviously she can't articulate that to you because you believe there's some underlying cause and you can just fix it when you can't always fix it. Acceptance is a difficult thing, especially where affairs of the heart are concerned.

 

You obviously wanted it to last longer than it did, while she was probably not banking on forever or even long-term. She's mature enough to probably have clocked that somehow. For you, it's simply just to accept that there was nothing you could have done, and sadly it sucks. Whether you showered her with affection or not. Obviously there are still things you can learn for your next relationship, but the price was the death of this one. That's the process sometimes - a part of you has to die first.

She was definitely planning on it being long term. She pretty much said so before we had sex. We talked for like an hour over text about sex, it's meanings what happens if she gets pregnant and she said that she would not have sex with me if she felt it wouldn't be long term. At 22 I'm only the second guy she's ever been with.

 

It's very hard for me to accept this, but I'm grateful she's at least tried to help.

 

A part of me has to die first. That really doesn't sound good since I was so battered before we started dating.

 

When I was with her, I was healing. But then she ripped of the bandage exposing the old wound. I needed more time.

[pickflicker]

She was definitely planning on it being long term. She pretty much said so before we had sex. We talked for like an hour over text about sex, it's meanings what happens if she gets pregnant and she said that she would not have sex with me if she felt it wouldn't be long term. At 22 I'm only the second guy she's ever been with.

 

It's very hard for me to accept this, but I'm grateful she's at least tried to help.

 

A part of me has to die first. That really doesn't sound good since I was so battered before we started dating.

 

When I was with her, I was healing. But then she ripped of the bandage exposing the old wound. I needed more time.

 

Well, unfortunately, you can't ask for someone to go easy on your in a break up. All you can do is control your reaction to it.

 

If you had kept quiet from the start and gone immediately NC, there's no telling what might of happened. Now, you need to be ready to go out there and date again, because this thing with her is unsalvageable.

 

And you can't go into a relationship battered. You have got to build some confidence and self esteem, or you'll just figuratively strangle the life out of the next relationship.

[ThaWholigan]

She was definitely planning on it being long term. She pretty much said so before we had sex. We talked for like an hour over text about sex, it's meanings what happens if she gets pregnant and she said that she would not have sex with me if she felt it wouldn't be long term. At 22 I'm only the second guy she's ever been with.

 

It's very hard for me to accept this, but I'm grateful she's at least tried to help.

 

A part of me has to die first. That really doesn't sound good since I was so battered before we started dating.

 

When I was with her, I was healing. But then she ripped of the bandage exposing the old wound. I needed more time.

 

Did you need more time? I'm not sure. If it happened later on, you'd have been more devastated IMO.

 

A part of you does have to die. This part of you that you cling onto as your identity - this part of you that NEEDS to be with a GF to have any kind of happiness. In essence, that's what I think your main lesson is from this relationship. It's showing you that you can't rely on any woman to make you happy because they can just as easily take that happiness away. It has to come from within somehow, otherwise you're building your house on sand instead of concrete or rock. This has always been the lesson - and it took the one thing you've always wanted to try and drum the point home. Life's cruel like that - trust me, I've had similar lessons dished out to me when I was too hard-headed to learn.

 

This wonderful soul that walked into your life has given you a launchpad. You've now been in a relationship. You've broken up and you've experienced the highs and the lows. The lows suck immensely - and right now the highs only remind you of what you're now missing. So take time to grieve over this, it's hurting and I can see that. Wish it wasn't like this but it is.

 

The important thing is acceptance and moving on, but after that, it's attempting to build happiness from within. Otherwise, you may indeed manifest your fear - of repeating this pattern again. That's my opinion on the matter. I wish you all the best, from my heart.

[somedude81]

If you're crazy about someone, it doesn't matter if the person before was the love of your life - you can be dating the new person 5 minutes later and you don't even give the pervious person another thought.

 

That happened to my Dad. He had a gf, met my Mum, dumped his gf and started dating my mother. He proposed 6 weeks later, they've been married 36 years.

 

This applies to both dumped and dumpee.

Gee thanks for the support.

She didn't love you as much as you loved her. She's 22 and knew that you probably had decided that you were going to spend the rest of your life with her, because it took you so long to get a relationship in the first place. Be honest, you thought you were done, right? Girl found, task completed? Because if so, and she sensed that - there's your answer. There's no great mystery.

Absolutely not. I had no intention of marrying her. Soon after we started having sex there was a pregnancy scare, and I thought I was going to be really screwed.

 

Of course I never told her that I didn't think it would last simply because I didn't want her to dump me on the spot. I was also very careful not to talk about the future

 

Odds are I would have ended it this year around May or June. When I graduate, there is a big chance that I'll move back home to the Bay Area, since I'm only here for school. My whole family is over there and there wouldn't be any issue getting a job. She's starting nursing school this months she's not going anywhere. That would have been the natural end of the relationship, and it would have lasted for a full year.

 

 

 

After 6 months, you should know if you're in or out. Hell, after 3 months,

Then why didn't she end it at the 3 months mark?

 

Why wait till I'm completely attached to her?

[somedude81]

Would it have been wrong to keep dating her knowing that I was planning on moving?

 

I figure that we'd have a few conversations about it and even if I decided to move, we'd stay together until then and not break up right away. She's young and I'm sure she had no plans of getting married any time soon.