down hearted Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Okay, so i kinda knew this would happen, i knew that my MIL lost a lot by been nasty to me because my husband never calls her so i kept her informed about him so now that we don't speak to each other she doesn't have anybody to tell her about him only me (he doesn't bother to call her he only calls me every single day and whenever he can because thats just how he is). So long story short my inlaws don't speak to me and i don't speak to them. For the holidays, i have only congratulated my husband's sister by text because i feel she isn't at fault for her mother's behavior and i just kept it to the point i never spoke bad to her about her mom or anything i just said merry christmas etc. However, she literally never responds, only once she would say how are you how is everything, and when i would answer she never responded so it was truly pointless as she never answers or says the same back so i never hear from her which is fine. Anyway, for new years eve my husband's sister texted me asking if i heard of her brother because her mother was really worried. (on christmas i sent my MIL a photo of him that he send me only just to be nice, my MIL responded that email on christmas and said thank you and that was that). So yesterday i responded to the text my husband's sis sent me saying "he is doing good, didn't your mom show you the pic of him i sent her last week?and she never answered so what the heck?? why even ask? can you at least respond? I don't know they only contact me when they are in need of something it pisses me off. and i know she receives my messages because before all this we would text back and forth all the time. I am leaving in one month back home to be with my husband for which he will be arriving first then me as i was only visiting this state for the holidays with my parents. So i mean his parents won't even see me and they know i am leaving not the exact date or anything. Would you say bye to them? I just want to pack my sh** and go, the more time passes the more they piss me off, i feel whats the point in even say bye, they only text me when they need something, my MIL uses my husband's sister to ask me thats how much she is worried that she can't ask me herself. (they won't see us for the next 2 years) Last night my husband called to wish me happy new years and we talked for a long time and before he was logging off his mom logged in and i noticed he stayed on i would say for a really short time maybe less than 3 minutes online i guess talking to her and thats fine i guess thats why his sister didn't bother to answer or something??.. but she could of at least responded so she knows that i acknowledged her enough to answer her you know. should i say bye before i go? Or should i just tell my husband to tell his mom that I'm leaving? If i don't tell them i am leaving they won't know that i left or anything and maybe thats a good thing.. what should i do? Edited January 2, 2014 by down hearted Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Leave and don't notify them at all. Imo, nothing's more rude than people who use you, then don't respond to you. Go. And don't look back. Edited January 2, 2014 by UpwardForward Link to post Share on other sites
Author down hearted Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) UpwardForward: you are so right, i mean all the months i have been here which they know it is temporary they haven't even bothered to acknowledge me why even bother saying bye to them for. When my husband and i go back home though, he barely contacts his family out of laziness because she is too dramatic over the phone so he kinda knows what to expect and my husband is not the type to be on the phone too long unless is with me then my MIL contacts me to tell him to call her, when she does i should be the one to ignore her messages, she can call him herself, if he doesn't want to answer that's not my fault, she has blamed me before for him not calling she said before (ever since you got married you forgot about your only true real family) basically am not family to that witch (we have been together for many years and she dares to still say such a thing) Edited January 2, 2014 by down hearted 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 It appears they make him feel uncomfortable as well. Your husband knows you support him, while trying to keep communication open for him and his family. Don't try to beat a dead horse (as I have done, too often). Just walk away. And while continuing to make a life for you and your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Treat them the same way they treat you. With silence. Or, take the high road and send them a goodbye note so you know you did the decent thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author down hearted Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 Treat them the same way they treat you. With silence. Or, take the high road and send them a goodbye note so you know you did the decent thing. Good point! I like what you said about silence. Silence can speak louder than words. Then again, i fear that if i don't say something, that will give them more to talk about me and how supposedly "rude" i am for not even saying anything to them, even though they didn't talk to me the whole time i was here. I just like keeping distance with his family they cause too many problems, and these type of individuals you need to keep a distance from specially from my marriage. I agree with you its better as you say to treat them the same way they treat me simply not saying a word and just go back home to my hubby. I might only say something to my husband's sister the day before i leave or something, that my cell phone will be disconnected since am leaving in case she texts me and i don't respond or something and if she gets it fine, if she doesn't oh well and that can be my "goodbye note" right? Link to post Share on other sites
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