my xMM...traits. was I right to let him go and closed doors for good?

[Nothisgirl]

Yes, you were right to cut him loose. Being in an affair is not for the faint of heart (I was a miserable failure during mine).

 

You find that you are tempted to accept treatment that you would NEVER accept from a single man, and make excuses for him, because he is married, etc.

 

In my opinion, any married man that is fortunately enough to get a single woman to look his way should treat her like a queen. He is the one who is married, you are the single one with all of the options. He would do well to remember this.

 

You are nine months into this, don't go backwards!!

 

AMEN to this!!! This should be a sticky!

[Oldspiceywolf]

You did the right thing telling his wife, you were in a situation that was destroying you. I always feel if it feels horrible and you want out to just burn that bridge for your own good.

His actions are what some have described to me as the rules to keep a perfect bootie call. I also have a friend who is a serial cheater, I asked him why doesn't have sex with prostitutes instead of doing something so dangerous and he told me he needed the emotional connection or the sex is boring.

So here you have a man who only wants a side piece but also wants it to be emotional and passionate when he wants it. He manipulated the situation into him having a bootie call that had emotional damage but not an affair that interrupts with daily life. It's ingenious and as selfish as it gets in my opinion.

[nicepuzzle]

You did the right thing telling his wife, you were in a situation that was destroying you. I always feel if it feels horrible and you want out to just burn that bridge for your own good.

His actions are what some have described to me as the rules to keep a perfect bootie call. I also have a friend who is a serial cheater, I asked him why doesn't have sex with prostitutes instead of doing something so dangerous and he told me he needed the emotional connection or the sex is boring.

So here you have a man who only wants a side piece but also wants it to be emotional and passionate when he wants it. He manipulated the situation into him having a bootie call that had emotional damage but not an affair that interrupts with daily life. It's ingenious and as selfish as it gets in my opinion.

 

I feel I didnt have a choice since i was too close to his family. And he wanted to see me with his family which I couldnt help. it looked like its me who should have stopped and i did that first time. Didnt have energy to do it again, cry for years and than again see him with his famly where he couldnt even fake to be a friend. his feeling downpoured his eyes and his eyes followed me whatever I did. He was too selfish to trap me emotionally and you are right. He liked having emotional sex otherwise why there would be other women who have also fallen for him. If his wife was a sweet innocent one I wouldnt tell, but she ad her own story and I didnt even feel sorry about hurting her. So messed up. Atleast burning the bridge doesnt give me hope that he will come back and I wont be able to stop. I know for sure he wont come back now and I can finally move on for real.

[nicepuzzle]

and cry over the past memories... and tell me he regrets and lives in memories and than start following the same pattern? and that too after sleeping with half of the town. and top of it tells me I am the one for him forever...and shows me tears right after coming? all emotional and sad and makes me believe that he loved me.

[Cocochai]

Wow. Amazing how it call came back. I sense that he is suffering due to confusion.

Still, I agree with the others to stay NC and let this go. It won't be good for you to continue. He is confused, and he will resolve it one way or another on his own, but you have to move on with your life.

 

I agree it sounds like he's fighting to not let the emotions get involved on his part. The same with my XMM he would spend the night with me when he's BS was out of town. When we were FB friends, his BS once posted a status about how he must had really missed her over the weekend he had the house cleaned/cooking for her when she got home. Something he really doesn't do.

 

I took they as a sign of doing it out of guilt which, is why he pulls away when things use to get intense between us and he confessed "he's not good at (emotional) cheating on his wife. That was my sign to leave him alone and hopefully he won't reach out to me again.

 

Yes it's using you and nobody deserves to be treated test way.