Shhhlonely Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Hello - As I've said in another post I have sort of lurked here for a long time but never had the courage to post anything. Basically I am in a year long PA with a MOM. As I've been reading it seems like the struggles between two married APs can be rough but it seems like MOW overthink quite a bit. I will be the first to admit that I overthink my situation all the time. My MOM on the other hand seems to be able to handle it overall much better. My main question is does this seem true to other MOW? Do you feel like you are the only one crazy at times? The only one thinking of the other? Don't get me wrong I know my MOM thinks of me as I hear from him daily but it has sort of become (in my opinion) like it is a chore to talk to me. In my overthinking sometimes I think he has moved on as after a year I am really not "shiney" anymore. I decided that I am giving it the month of Jan to determine if that is true or if it was just the stresses of the holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Yes. With my own experience, I have found myself overthinking the situation alot. We have been in R 5 years. Sometimes I think life and things get in the way and things get busy. I think women are more emotionally connected. I also think being both AP being married puts another spin on it for a woman. When you are married if the affair ends, you are left with few options. Maybe thats why its harder for OW to end a relationship? You can't go look for another man and you are faced with the reality of your own marriage why all of this started in the first place. All, which are complicated things to resolve. Edited January 2, 2014 by blue963 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tchrgrl Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I'm sure as human beings they think of us but my A just kind of started as a friends with benefits thing and I turned it into a full fledged relationship in my mind! Not the kind of girl who can just have casual sex, especially while I am married to someone else. He has called me out on this a number of times saying that he does think of me often but he wants to stay married and just will see me when he can see me. He has stopped daily texting for fear of getting caught as he claims he wants this to work out long term -whatever that means?!?!?!? I think as the MOM, we certainly struggle with letting go and going back to our unsatisfying marriages, at least that's how I feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Yes another thing I find puzzling is that he has asked me if I can imagine us together in 25 years because he has. He has often told me that he had met me years ago. Puzzling because sometimes I feel like Im not a priority. So this is what I struggle with. We communicate usually every day, sometimes multiple times a day and sometimes for long duration. (We are both self-employed). But when I dont have that connection, I get thrown off. That communication is really the only thing that I can receive from this relationship. Because of his type of work, he is known many many people and we cant go to the movies, have a meal out, etc. Yes so so hard to think about going back to an unsatisfying marriage when have felt other emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shhhlonely Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 It's altogether hard isn't it. I just wish he'd make more of an effort to see me. The communication level is fine but I'd enjoy a bit more one on one, I mean 4 -7 weeks between visits makes me feel like I'm not that important. He says it's to protect everything but I think he enjoys the friendship more than anything and the communication is enough. Link to post Share on other sites
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