newuser11 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 this might be long but ill make it as short as possible i've been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years. im 20. shes 19. it's been overall good. i was good friends with her ex and have hung out with him probably 3 times since we started dating. they don't talk to eachother but i know it took her like a year or two (while i was dating her) to get over him. that's another story. no cheating though. also. i knew they had sex before cause he told me. i asked her if she was a virgin a long time ago and she said yes and i called her out on it and finally she admitted he put it in then they stopped cause it hurt. that's the only time ive caught her lying. ive only had sex with her twice cause we have strict parents who are always home. we haven't had sex in about 6 months. both times with condoms. shes the first and only girl ive had sex with. we do have lots of oral though so it's not like theres no sex. just not intercourse. anyway. about 4 days ago i look at her phone while shes there and i see she texted one of her friends saying (should i tell mike? (me)) and her friend said yes. i asked her what and she told me her ex messaged her on fb (she showed me the message - basically was asking how shes been) and they added eachother on facebook. 2 days later i told her -i saw you added your ex on facebook. id rather you not talk to him too often but i'm ok with you adding him. she said she did not reply to his fb message and she would delete him if i wanted. i said nah it's ok. then out of nowhere the ex texts me saying whats up man. (same time im texting her) haven't talked to him in like 6 months... i was texting him and he was like oh yeah we should chill. i was like yeah lets do that sometime this week. i'm texting them at the same time then both of them stopped replying for 2 hours. then they both reply at the same time. also they live about a 3 minute drive from eachothers houses and theres no one at his house but him all the time. i didn't think much of this until yesterday. i was at her house. i asked if i could google something on her phone and the first thing that came under the search bar (recent history) was -does everyone get stds. or something like that. can't remember exactly. i did not bring this up to her but the looks she gave me made it seem like she knows i saw it. i had that sick feeling in my stomache. i told her i was tired and going home. i left. she texted me saying is everything ok, you left really suddenly. and i told her yeah cause i didn't know what to do yet. i messaged her ex saying do you want to hang out right now. he was like not right now idk whats going on tonight yet. she texted me asking if i want to hang out tomorrow (which is now today) i replied today and said yeah but only till 3:30 cause i got work. she said ok well i have a doctors appointment at 11am. i said what for? she said -just a checkup, i'm nervous i said why are you nervous? she said cause a random stranger will be looking "down there" anyways. this is the story that plays in my head even though it very well could be untrue: she replied to his fb message or texted him. they made plans to hang out. maybe theyre hanging out while i texted her. i asked if she could not talk to him. she asks her ex if he told me they were hanging out. he says no- ill even text him right now (he texts me). they both see that i have no idea. they ****. two hours later they text me like nothing happened. then two days later shes googling stds. :/ also, after that night i was texting them she has been a little happier than usual and more cheerful saying i love you and stuff. just seemed suspicious. hope someone can help me out, idk what to do or say to her. i don't want to accuse her of something she didn't do but i don't want this to eat away at me. Link to post Share on other sites
tom670 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Well it does sound suspicious. You could buy a voice activated recorder and stick it in her car and a pen recorder and stick it in her purse. Link to post Share on other sites
tom670 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 you obviously don't trust her.. and if you don't trust your girl, you shouldnt be in a relationship with her.. you should dump her 5 bucks says she goes right back to her ex You should have brought up the STD test you found on her phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 this might be long but ill make it as short as possible i've been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years. im 20. shes 19. it's been overall good. i was good friends with her ex and have hung out with him probably 3 times since we started dating. they don't talk to eachother but i know it took her like a year or two (while i was dating her) to get over him. that's another story. no cheating though. also. i knew they had sex before cause he told me. i asked her if she was a virgin a long time ago and she said yes and i called her out on it and finally she admitted he put it in then they stopped cause it hurt. that's the only time ive caught her lying. ive only had sex with her twice cause we have strict parents who are always home. we haven't had sex in about 6 months. both times with condoms. shes the first and only girl ive had sex with. we do have lots of oral though so it's not like theres no sex. just not intercourse. anyway. about 4 days ago i look at her phone while shes there and i see she texted one of her friends saying (should i tell mike? (me)) and her friend said yes. i asked her what and she told me her ex messaged her on fb (she showed me the message - basically was asking how shes been) and they added eachother on facebook. 2 days later i told her -i saw you added your ex on facebook. id rather you not talk to him too often but i'm ok with you adding him. she said she did not reply to his fb message and she would delete him if i wanted. i said nah it's ok. then out of nowhere the ex texts me saying whats up man. (same time im texting her) haven't talked to him in like 6 months... i was texting him and he was like oh yeah we should chill. i was like yeah lets do that sometime this week. i'm texting them at the same time then both of them stopped replying for 2 hours. then they both reply at the same time. also they live about a 3 minute drive from eachothers houses and theres no one at his house but him all the time. i didn't think much of this until yesterday. i was at her house. i asked if i could google something on her phone and the first thing that came under the search bar (recent history) was -does everyone get stds. or something like that. can't remember exactly. i did not bring this up to her but the looks she gave me made it seem like she knows i saw it. i had that sick feeling in my stomache. i told her i was tired and going home. i left. she texted me saying is everything ok, you left really suddenly. and i told her yeah cause i didn't know what to do yet. i messaged her ex saying do you want to hang out right now. he was like not right now idk whats going on tonight yet. she texted me asking if i want to hang out tomorrow (which is now today) i replied today and said yeah but only till 3:30 cause i got work. she said ok well i have a doctors appointment at 11am. i said what for? she said -just a checkup, i'm nervous i said why are you nervous? she said cause a random stranger will be looking "down there" anyways. this is the story that plays in my head even though it very well could be untrue: she replied to his fb message or texted him. they made plans to hang out. maybe theyre hanging out while i texted her. i asked if she could not talk to him. she asks her ex if he told me they were hanging out. he says no- ill even text him right now (he texts me). they both see that i have no idea. they ****. two hours later they text me like nothing happened. then two days later shes googling stds. :/ also, after that night i was texting them she has been a little happier than usual and more cheerful saying i love you and stuff. just seemed suspicious. hope someone can help me out, idk what to do or say to her. i don't want to accuse her of something she didn't do but i don't want this to eat away at me. It seems odd that after only two days she'd be experiencing symptoms. Possible, but a little soon. Maybe he knows he's had something and told her. Maybe she's experiencing other strange symptoms and doesn't know what's causing it but it's not an STD (ex. a UTI or yeast infection) It's a detail in the grand scheme of things. But it's a detail that could affect you, if she really thinks she's contracted something and you two are intimate. Perhaps ask her if there's anything you should be concerned about, health-wise. She told you about the nature of the appointment so I don't think it'd be prying to ask her a little more. This might shed some light on everything. Keep your eyes and ears open in terms of the ex. It does sound a bit fishy but not enough to flat-out accuse her of cheating yet. Re-iterate that you don't mind them touching base once in a while but that you're not comfortable with them hanging out alone. You said she dated you while still getting over him - that's what makes the whole situation a little more dicey. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Something's not right there. Ask her straight. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 If your spidey senses are tingling, listen to them! Take inventory of what you DO know and then place yourself as an outside observer and see if things seem "off'. 1. Her Ex comes back into the picture. 2. She friends him on facebook and they live only three minutes away from each other. And he primarily lives there alone. 3. One day, you're texting the both of them and then suddenly, they BOTH stop texting you for exactly 2 hours! 4. Short time later, you ask to use her phone and you discover she looking up sites about STD's. You leave. 5. She texts you and tells you she was nervous about a Doctors appointment where her lady parts are going to be inspected. Dude, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...... Link to post Share on other sites
georgecostanza Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Some STD's can lay dormant for however long. So it may be a case that she has one and it's only flared up for the first time now, hence her going to the doctor. Still, the timing is a little odd. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Some STD's can lay dormant for however long. So it may be a case that she has one and it's only flared up for the first time now, hence her going to the doctor. Still, the timing is a little odd. I totally agree. The timing is odd. I'm putting my money on that the times OP and his girl had sex, it was protected and (just like most cheaters) she had unprotected sex with the OM. It freaked her out. If she has a boyfriend and all of the sudden, she has an STD, well, kinda hard to explain to the boyfriend where it came from. Link to post Share on other sites
looneymalooney Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 It's all to weird that all of the sudden he just gets back in the picture... Exes are exes for a reason. So the simple fact that an ex is starting to spend more time with her it's not a good sign. psychologically speaking after cheating people become paranoid that their partner could somehow find out SO they start to pay more attention to them and even more "caring". You said your girl started to act happier and tell you she loves you... What can you do ? it's too little info you've got to confront her, but unfortunately your guts may be right. Too many coincidences... there's no such thing. Just ask her if she's still into him and if she says no just tell her she's spending too much time with him lately and he's trying to get way too close to you and you don't want that. He's playing you both. She's an idiot probably thinking she's still in love with him and you try to be WAY too polite... don't get me wrong it's ok for exes to acknowledge eachother (hi, goodbye ). But spending time together ALONE is more than fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
looneymalooney Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I totally agree. The timing is odd. I'm putting my money on that the times OP and his girl had sex, it was protected and (just like most cheaters) she had unprotected sex with the OM. It freaked her out. If she has a boyfriend and all of the sudden, she has an STD, well, kinda hard to explain to the boyfriend where it came from. i'm new around and i know i've seen a thread with Abreviations of words used around here, but i can't find it. What does OP and OM mean and if you could direct me to that thread would be great. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 i'm new around and i know i've seen a thread with Abreviations of words used around here, but i can't find it. What does OP and OM mean and if you could direct me to that thread would be great. Thanks OP= Original Poster OM= Other Man OW= Other Woman BS= Betrayed Spouse MM= Married Man WW= Wayward Wife WH= Wayward Husband OMW= Other Man's Wife OWH= Other Woman's Husband NC= No Contact Link to post Share on other sites
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