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Give Yourself a Second Chance


KaiaMahina

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Thanks for the good words and happy North Shore New Year to you!

 

In the spirit of the historical landscape in which we both dwell, it's "one if by land and two if by sea, and I on the opposite shore shall be", waving my little lantern in the dark and keeping a keg of rum at the ready! :laugh:

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I had been feeling really down about the ex last week - the cycle goes on - and your posts always make me laugh. They always have the bonus of being infused with a wisdom I wish I had gained from life and love - but some of us are just slow learners I guess. Or maybe it's that you seem more connected to the universe than I am.

 

Anyway, in the spirit of giving oneself a second chance, I took a spur-of-the-moment jaunt to visit a friend in Cali. I had enough of wallowing and needed to live again. So, when she invited (for the 100th time) I actually went! We had a blast. We shot down to Mexico for a couple of days and I howled at the Mexican Moon. I'm considered a fun person by those who know me - and many more who don't - and I'd forgotten that. People gravitate towards those bright spirits and for 5 brief shining days I became that person again.

 

I had been thinking about this post when I spoke to my friend that night. Honestly, the "second chance" idea had stuck with me and I'm not sure I would have decided to go if I hadn't had the thought of giving myself that second chance rattling around in my head. I flew out the next morning.

 

Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from our everyday lives in order to find ourselves again. I saw my dear friend. I danced. I sang. I drank Margharitas. I fended off advances from the handsome and the not-so-handsome. I remembered myself and found myself again.

 

So my thanks to you, KaiaMahina, and all those here at The Shack that offer advice and wisdom. Sometimes you accomplish more than you know and help some lost souls to renew themselves again.

 

Viva Mexico!

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Three of Swords

I think a trip to Mexico is in order for all of us.

 

Need to howl at the moon. Very loud and very long. Might help cure whatever ails me.

 

And getting flirted with really would be a lovely boost to my ego.

 

Sounds like a fantastic time - way to go.

 

B.

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BrainRightHeartWrong
I guess it can go either way, it'll be at least 6 months before we know though !

 

Urban Rubble01, 6 months is a long time to hold a candle, i don't know if i could cope with that

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Urban Rubble01

Well, I'm not sitting around waiting. I'm trying to look at it like it's most likely over. But at the same time, what she's telling me (and more importantly, showing me) seems optimistic.

 

But I really have two choices, tell her I'm done for good, or give her some time and see what happens. I'm going to give her some time because I'm not ready to cut things off.

 

And believe me, I know how naive I probably sound.

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Three of Swords

Urb - wait for as long as you are comfortable waiting for. Really that is up to you. As far as no contact. Don't even worry about it. Go with what works for you.

 

The 'rules' here don't work in every situation. Yours sounds special and unique.

 

She sound like she is worth waiting for. She told you upfront how things are. It is up to you to decide how much time and how much of your heart you are willing to put on the line.

 

All I can say is don't make it forever though. Six months is perfectly fine. Six years is not.

 

Best wishes - and keep us posted

 

B.

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