All A man needs to do to get a woman to fall for him...

[TB Rhine]

The only women that like games are the insecure ones.

 

So... pretty much all of them, then?

 

See, the thing is - many men assume that very beautiful women, for instance, are not insecure, because said women are secure enough in their attractiveness to know that they're out of the league of said men. When it comes to guys who *are* in their league, however, they are every bit as insecure and wishy-washy as the neediest of needy Nice Guys. It all depends on your perspective; hence how a woman who looks like a goddess, fully aware and in command of her powers, from the perspective of a guy like moi, can look like a needy, insecure hanger-on to the Brad Pitts of the world.

[AntiSocal]

So... pretty much all of them, then?

 

See, the thing is - many men assume that very beautiful women, for instance, are not insecure, because said women are secure enough in their attractiveness to know that they're out of the league of said men. When it comes to guys who *are* in their league, however, they are every bit as insecure and wishy-washy as the neediest of needy Nice Guys. It all depends on your perspective; hence how a woman who looks like a goddess, fully aware and in command of her powers, from the perspective of a guy like moi, can look like a needy, insecure hanger-on to the Brad Pitts of the world.

 

Not true at all in my experience. Girls who have actual self confidence won't let you walk all over them no matter how good you look. Most girls have some insecurities but there is a difference between a insecure girl and a girl who has some insecurity about her newest hairstyle.

[CrystalCastles]

So... pretty much all of them, then?

 

See, the thing is - many men assume that very beautiful women, for instance, are not insecure, because said women are secure enough in their attractiveness to know that they're out of the league of said men. When it comes to guys who *are* in their league, however, they are every bit as insecure and wishy-washy as the neediest of needy Nice Guys. It all depends on your perspective; hence how a woman who looks like a goddess, fully aware and in command of her powers, from the perspective of a guy like moi, can look like a needy, insecure hanger-on to the Brad Pitts of the world.

 

I also disagree with this. I've been called "beautiful", "hot" or "attractive" by all men I have dated, and also by many men I've rejected. In that case, I would say the men I have dated have mostly been in my league (very muscular, very attractive etc etc). However, many of them did not get past date 1 or 2 since they did not respect me, and I believe I deserve a good man who respects me. So I got rid of guys like these, no matter how incredibly beautiful they looked. A beautiful, confident woman is not going to lose her confidence in the face of an equally beautiful man. She's not going to lose sight of what she's looking for from a man.

[Oomlotte]

My post was more comical than anything - I just noticed a lot of us were posting about men who are clearly not interested wondering what we could or should or hadn't done when the answer is so simple. I just wondered if there was something to it, lol!

 

I think it has less to do with low self esteem and more to do with women naturally connecting more and bonding in ways men don't - like if you talk a lot a woman starts to bond and a man just sees it as insuring his good thing/keeping her happy. She thinks she's cool with nothing serious when she meets him and doesn't know him but getting to know someone creates a bond.

[WP4046]

Why women so obsessed with being in a relationship?

[hotpotato]

I think when people say they they often mean it.

 

IMO these people have a more relaxed attitude about dating which others find attractive.

 

I've done best when I wasn't looking for anything.

[MissBee]

I have been there myself. When I was younger I fell so badly for a guy who clearly told me he doesn't want a relationship with me.

He was a player.

 

When I look back and think why I liked him so much... even though he was such a jerk, it was more to do with me than him.

I felt he was better than me in every way. He would tell me how his ex-gf was prettier than me. And I kept on trying to show him how great I am as a person.

To me he was a catch... someone who could get any gal he liked. I kept on hoping I will win his love one day. I don't know whether I really even loved him or I just wanted validation that I am good enough to make him fall for me.

 

Later on I realized, he wasn't such a catch after all. He was messed up. I got over him when I did not receive the love I wanted and met someone else.

 

I think everyone falls for such guy/gal at least once... it's all part of the learning process....

 

All of us struggle at times with self confidence, self esteem and self worth issues. The world around us, most of the time tries to show us that we are not good enough, we are not smart enough, pretty enough, not worthy of love etc... and that is when we fall for these kind of people and search for validation that we are good enough.

When we realize that we do not need any such validation and we are awesome the way we are... we realize our own value and love ourself first... that's when we get free of such toxic relationships.

 

Awesome post!

 

Pretty much.