TheUnthoughtKnown Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 My whole live I've struggled with school, college and work. I'm not the most sociable person in the world, although I do go out with friends occasionally. I almost never socialised with anyone in any job I've ever had and I've hated every job I've ever had. This brings me to my problem... I can't settle into any job. In truth, I hate working. All it does is bring me down and I have no motivation to progress any further. I keep telling myself it's just the industry I'm in that's making me feel this way, but I can't honestly say I wouldn't feel this way about any job I took. I don't know what causes this! I don't know why I'm so down all the time, why I hate work so much or why I don't find myself socialising like I should. I'm waiting on a new therapy course to begin. My therapist believes psychotherapy would help me, whereas up till now I've been relying on meds that seem to work less and less. I want to start a family eventually as 30 isn't far away now, but I need a good career. One I feel content in. One I could progress and earn enough to provide for a family. I'm so far off that right now it feels like it would take another 30 years to achieve it! What do you do when you are beset on all sides by negativity? I can't cope in my job (I regularly think about suicide and the cleanest way to do it in work), I can't afford to start a family with my long-term gf, I can't even get us out of the little apartment we're in now. I rarely socialise these days because I'm so tired whenever I'm out... Anyways, I'm sorry. I'm just confused. I'm always Goddamn confused... I don't want to end it. I know people would be hurt and after my sister tried to kill herself several years ago, I know difficult my mother would find it to cope. I don't know what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I change...by not changing at all... Link to post Share on other sites
jba10582 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I don't know what causes sh*t to happen in life, sometimes its the decision you make and sometimes it seems to happen all by itself. Ever went fishing? Maybe you were either inexperienced at first or maybe your reel was old, and you cast your line out...and crap, it got tangled up on that one!...these things happen in life, and sometimes it gets tangled up, and one you have to patience an untangle the mess whether the knots are in your mind or other areas...and what this means to you, you'll figure out, you may have to re-cast out a resume or something similiar, but the more you focus on accomplishing what you want to achieve the more things, people, your thoughts ect will start to work with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 "Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him." Wisdom from James Allen. You have a list of needs and wants, and certainly a list of problems. You deal with them by asking why? But that is not dealing with them. All the things you have listed are a result of a pattern. You may have to break that pattern not by asking why, but to address how you look at life. You say you don't like working, but maybe it is because you do something you don't like. Scrutinize all these ideas you have about yourself and find they are almost always false. Go from, "I do not like working", to "I haven't found my career yet". At least you will be able to zone in on how to fix these problems. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) I don't know what causes sh*t to happen in life, sometimes its the decision you make and sometimes it seems to happen all by itself. Ever went fishing? Maybe you were either inexperienced at first or maybe your reel was old, and you cast your line out...and crap, it got tangled up on that one!...these things happen in life, and sometimes it gets tangled up, and one you have to patience an untangle the mess whether the knots are in your mind or other areas...and what this means to you, you'll figure out, you may have to re-cast out a resume or something similiar, but the more you focus on accomplishing what you want to achieve the more things, people, your thoughts ect will start to work with you. One learns a LOT about life just from fishing: 1) Patience, patience, and more patience 2) Doing the best you can within the given time 3) Using learned skills to maximize odds (but never any guarantee) 4) Tangles, snapped lines, and $hit happens 5) Enjoying the day whether you catch zero or a dozen Edited January 3, 2014 by M30USA Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 I was fired today. This is the first time in 4 years I've been unemployed. Honestly it feels like much longer. Its been a horrible 4 years. Now, maybe, I have a chance to start again, in a job much more suited to me. Maybe that'll solve these issues I've been having. Could it be that easy? It this whole thing my job? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts