Dominic Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Well, the background to the story is, I met a woman on the internet who was married but separated, we got along well, met and started a sort-of (i say that because of the distance) relationship. Anyway, she got back with her husband, for the reasons that i lived so far away and they had a child together. Anyway, it sort of sparked off again and we had an affair. We were very much in love and I believe in my heart that we were a perfect couple in many ways. It ended, the difficulties just got too much. She said we should be friends, 'beautiful friendship' is the actual term she used, and for the moment that is the best thing because the problems that caused us to split are still there. I hope they won't always be and one day we'll get another chance, but i know for the moment that is all we can have. The problems I am having now are that she comes online under different screen names so i can't see her, she must know i'm on and i know shes been on because of the time stamp in message forums that we both post in. And in those forums, the messages she posts are so unlike how she was when we were together, she can be harsh and mean. Particularly to me, for example she once posted my picture, after a few people had replied saying how lucky she was to have me, she replied with 'thank you but he's not mine. What I can't understand is why if so many of you think he is gorgeous he is still single'. That hurt a lot, she said 'you think' as though she doesn't think so and then asking why i'm still single is such a stupid question. I just don't understand why she is being like this, it's making me feel as though what we had meant absolutely nothing to her, or that it never existed. I'd like to think she is being like this because she still has feelings for me and doesn't want to get too close again. If I could just understand why she is being like this, I'd be able to make the decision on the best thing I could do for my own self-worth. If anybody could offer me there opinion i would be really grateful, surely other people out there must have experienced something similar, or even treated someone the same, I'd just like to know why. Sorry, I've just realised that this is quite long, so for anybody who's made it this far thank you. Love Dominic Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 If anybody could offer me there opinion My opinion: Whatever you two have going on over the net is not a true relationship. End all contact that you have with her over the net. Delete her from your buddy lists or notify list or whatever. Change all your nicknames that she knows of. Have no more contact with her over the net. NONE. Tell her one last time and don't say more than 3 sentences...something like "If you would like to continue our friendship (or relationship), then contact me in person or by phone. Otherwise, have a nice life. Goodbye". That's 3 sentences. No more. Got it? Good. Take care. Bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Dominic Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Thanks, what i was really trying to get at is why she is treating me like that, if i can understand that then i can make a decision about what to do. You are right that it is not a true relationship, when we were together, we used to spend several hours a day on the phone (i think that counts as a relationship) now all i can expect is a short e-mail once a day. I can't tell from those whether she cares or not, hence does she not give a #####, or does she give too much of a ##### that she is scared of falling in love again. Thanks for the advice, it is something i am considering, scary thing to do that and she's stubborn that she won't respond in the right way to that. My opinion: Whatever you two have going on over the net is not a true relationship. End all contact that you have with her over the net. Delete her from your buddy lists or notify list or whatever. Change all your nicknames that she knows of. Have no more contact with her over the net. NONE. Tell her one last time and don't say more than 3 sentences...something like "If you would like to continue our friendship (or relationship), then contact me in person or by phone. Otherwise, have a nice life. Goodbye". That's 3 sentences. No more. Got it? Good. Take care. Bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby Dygytul Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 Screw her man, she isn't nothing to you. I'll tell you right now that she doesn't give a flyin f*ck about you. Its impossible to have a relationship with someone over the web. SHE'S MARRIED!!!!!!!!! end of story, forget this chick. If she pisses you off then just QUIT TALKING TO HER. I'll tell you exactly what you should do. Get a camera, take a picture of nothing but your bare ass, then send it to her in the mail or scan it and email it to her along with a message that says "KISS THIS!!!!!!!" Thanks, what i was really trying to get at is why she is treating me like that, if i can understand that then i can make a decision about what to do. You are right that it is not a true relationship, when we were together, we used to spend several hours a day on the phone (i think that counts as a relationship) now all i can expect is a short e-mail once a day. I can't tell from those whether she cares or not, hence does she not give a #####, or does she give too much of a ##### that she is scared of falling in love again. Thanks for the advice, it is something i am considering, scary thing to do that and she's stubborn that she won't respond in the right way to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 25, 2001 Share Posted January 25, 2001 The woman obviously has some kind of problem. She's using other names to belittle and bash you. Does that sound like a stable individual? Does that sound like a REAL FRIEND? Nope. Nevermind *why* she does this........just forget her. Cut off ALL contact with her. Find a different chat room. Why go where she goes? Don't be a sucker for punishment. Block her from emailing you. The woman iS MARRIED. She should be spending time with her husband, working on their marriage....not horsing around in a freaking chat room. Who knows...maybe the reason there were problems in her marriage was....she was getting into 'cyber-relationships' with men, and her hubby didn't like it. A good, honest, honorable MARRIED individual does *not* sneak around on the computer with someone of the opposite sex. That's just trouble. You don't really know her. So you met her once or twice, big deal. TO REALLY know someone, you have to spend a lot of quality time with them. She could be a nutcase for all you know. The way she's treating you in the chatrooms now isn't exactly indicative of a 'stable' person, is it? Nevermind a friendship. Find a single woman to be friends with. Better yet, make friends with people in REAL LIFE....not strangers off the net (who can lie and tell stories). Ignore her. She is TAKEN. Stop wasting your time with someone who a) has problems...b) is married Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
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