I got my ex gf back!:)

[haggard969]

yes i did it, and i thought it was impossible and id never get what i had back! i thought there was no hope in the whole world i begged cried tried spells curses praying and telling her how much i loved her , i thought i could make some master plan or skeem to get her back, none of it worked, even with my exex gf i tried that magic of making up crap, waste of money, never buy it. anyways long story here, ifi you want to here it , listen, there is hope, dont give up

 

so, where are we? the 5 or 6 month mark of my messed up situation, i know alot of you read my previous threads from start to finish, and all of you who have not i suggest you do , you can watch me go through all the stages of grief/depression, they call it dabda( denial, anger, barganing, depression and acceptance). im going to type a long thing about what i learned, ive been away from this site for about almost 2 months now i believe, and im going to tell you what happend, what i realised and what not

 

there wasnt only one reason why i got dumped, and i now know it wasnt only my fault. it was both of us. in my eyes i at some point started running the relationship like the boss, but my gf also tried doing this, in became a power struggle, one arguing or getting mad at the other one, "where were you, why didnt you call, who were you with, what did you do," it became questions we were throwing at eachother everyday, im not sure if you would call it jealousy or mis trust or w,e, but we did argue, and even though it was over stupid little crap that meant nothing, it was becoming everyday.

 

my gf was hanging out with that guy from work, and at our weak point in time, she thought she would be happier with him. so she bailed, and although i thought i was left with the broken pieces, she was left with them too. but i took my pieces and slowly put them back together, she just swept hers under the carpet. for her to trip over later down the road.

 

in the past 6 months my gf texted me constantly, making sure i was still there, i would get texts or bread crumbs you could call it," hey i miss you, hey i want to live with you, hey i realised my mistake, hey im coming home to you im yours," it goes on n on, it stressed the hell out of me. because everytime i would reply to each one i would get disappointment. either being ignored, or her being drunk would be an excuse, or she even said that i was a security blanket, yeah i felt so mistreated. my heart was just broke.

 

i had major ups and downs. as most of you know. i was drinking n driving, drikning almost everyday. doing lots of drugs. i started hanging out with my old friend too, hes younger than me, and he sleeps with a different girl every night, he started coming out with me, got me back into the single world of whores and no rules. i went along with it, even though thats not who i am.

 

in the last 6 months i hung out with my gf at least 10 or 12 times. i did knotice everytime we hung out she remained emotionless, no love was shown or nothing, she just wanted to strictly hang out, not as lovers, and not as friends, i fit more into the unknown catagory.

 

the first few times we hung out, i was crying and sad and depressed, i kept trying to talk about the relationship n crap, but she just didnt want to here it. but as time went on, she saw me doing better, i actually have money now, i got nice clothes, i started brushing my teeth again , working out at the gym, i cleaned my car rank! now its like new, i took care of my self and started buying myself crap. when we would go out for drinks and stuff id try and be funny, and kept my mind off of the fact that she was with another guy. i got good at pool to and showed off a bit, she was impressed i could tell.

 

the whole push and pull thing lasted for quite a while, i would text her saying im confuesed, she would say about , n i would say the relationship and whats going on, she would ignore. about 5 months or a month ago, she pushed and pulled again, n i snapped, i said whats going on, what do you want , whats your problem , i said do you want to be with me or not, she said no, im with him im sorry, then i went no contact,

 

i really wasnt as hurt at this point, i was kinda a close to the last stage of dabda. i disappeared for about a month, thats when she texted me, she said " i really need to talk to you", well she called first then texted, i never answerd until 5 hours later, because i didnt know what to say. i was ancy, so i said you wanted to talk? why? and about what?

 

she texted back 2 days later, said she wanted to speak or catch up, well she pretty much blew up my phone because i didnt reply right away.

 

i was kinda being carless because i didnt care anymore about what she had to say, but i listened, i asked why did you leave him, she said he beat me up, broke my nose, bit my cheek, through her around, suddenly i did care, i was mad, mad that this guy did it to her. i picked her up on new years and she looks bad, bruises all over her body,(im gonna mess this guy up when i see him) i was pissed off, but this is when i herd all this crap i wanted to hear,

 

this is what she said n what ive been waiting to hear.she was crying" i know what i did was wrong n horrible, and i new i was hurting you, the reason why i liked him was because we werent working, we were always fighting and he just had that personality of change, he was different, i never loved him, and i new the whole time what i was doing was wrong. things were good for the first 2 months, but then he started becoming controling, and jealous, he wasnt like what me and you had, i brought him around my friends and cousins, and he just wasnt right, yeah he was could be charming, but he wasnt funny or anything compared to you, i am so sorry"

 

she said not a day went by where she didnt thing of me. she said when she felt me drifting away, she got worried and broke contact. so i guess you could say we stayed LC for most of the breakup.

 

i had my turn and appologized, i told her that i hadnt been the best boyfriend either. i talked about my mistakes , how i became over jealous and un trustworthy, i admited that i never stopped thinking about her either.

 

anyways, we kissed on new years at 12 and i couldnt believe how happy everyone we saw (we went to a newyears concert thing with a dj 1000 people) but everyone we saw were so happy to see us together , and shocked! everyone gatherd around and were just hugging both of us and were so happy, i talked to my gfs brother at the show too, he said that ever since ive been gone there family has changed, even my gf said that ever since she ended things shes been miserable and stressed, but she used different distractions to keep her from feeling down,

 

so yesterday and today, we became even closer, we went out for supper, and it was kinda wiery at first, but we went back to her house and got some wine and just drank and we kissed here and there. as the night went on we started rubbing eachother and cuddling then i finally just whipped it out and we had really passionate sex, not like before where we would just bang, this time, it was like a warm up me rubbing and dry humping her n she wasnt sure if i should put it in then i made her really horny and we made love, like real love! it was insane,

 

i asked her, so whats going to happen, what should we do, and she said, i want to get back together, i just want to take it slow, i said the same thing, so now were just taking it slow, talking on the phone, texting again, and the best part was we were like how we were when we first met, i havent felt like that for a long time. we laughed n rolled around on the best, and it was like nothing had ever happend.

 

now im going to talk about what i learned and kinda some advice,

 

well dont do what i did! never turn to alchohol, its okay to socially drink because boose can help you socialize with other people and other women, even if you dont want to. but make sure you DO NOT DRINK N DRIVE,

 

i worked out , became attractive, i was meeting other girls, i was trying to move on and i was still there for my ex, i never stopped loving her, i just stopped caring, i really cant hold a grudge for the other guy, because she didnt cheat on me, it still was shady, but i now see the reasons why.

 

when you hear people talking about find your self first, absolutly true. i became the old me again. funny, clever , cool, sexy m buff;) jk. but you know what i mean. i pulled myself together. and i litterly went through hell, i truly believe that you have to sucessfuly get through all the stages of dabda inorder to even consider of trying to get your ex back. i know its hard, but i think the reason why most relationships dont work when they get back together, is because you dont give your self dabda, You have to move on if you want your ex back, i no longer care about the past n what happend! F IT, i care about the future now, and how much better it can be, i know my mistakes now, and what to avoid doing, i dont need to check her facebook, i dont need to check her cell or do any of the crap, i just dont care ! all i want is her , but in a new better relationship! and its happening!

 

like this whole experience just , it gave me a backbone to my gf, like i feel like ive become more of a man , like if you can go through hell and back and still do good for your self! you will be unstoppable, well thats how i feel anyways. and the reason why i feel like our relationship will work this time around, is because if she left again, i wouldnt care! i saw what else was other there, lots of beautiful women, and im sure if i got close to one i could have a similar relationship like i have with my gf, but i love her.

 

when you here of people saying they dont believe in second chances, well then it couldnt of been true love, if you truly love someone you will give them a chance,

 

i read this quote on the net

" Infatuation is perfect, its better then perfect, its everything you ever wanted, but true love is not perfect, not even close, but in the end you really just dont care."

 

so im gonna give some quick jot notes on what works,

- give yourself time to pass through all the stages of dabda

- dont drink stupidly only socially

- go out with a friend and meet woman and have fun

-keep low contact with your ex, but do not contact them, let them contact you

-avoid talking about the relationship, your ex needs to make that decision on their own

- work on your self, buy new things, chew gum , brush your teeth, become attractive, become boss.

-do not cry or be sad, have a good time, even if your not, we can all act.

-dont stop loving your ex, just stop caring

-take is slow dont just start dating, start seeing eachother

-avoid social media, it will hurt you

-be patient and dont let the things shes doing hurt you

 

 

its funny when i was doing shrooms that one time. i posted about my epiphany , i also had a vision from some spiritual crap in my mind, it was about my gf, i saw the male lion, strong with a mane, all the lionesses were attracted to it. the law of attraction. be the male lion, find a way to do it.

 

im sure theres more i could post on here, but this is the just of it, ive been waiting a while to right this post to find out if it was even possible to get someone back. it is, i feel different about my gf, i love her, but i dont need her like i felt before, and as for what happend with the other guy, i dont care, i dont like him, but im over what happend.

 

well i guess thats all for now , if i remember anything else i will post it, please read my other threads from start to finish, you will see how messed up i truley was lol. once your snap out of it then the tables turns, if someone you love can truly make you cry the way i did, then theres a problem right there, just shows that i was needy, post comments below, sorry about the bad grammer:laugh:

[ks0985]

You're girlfriend sounds like a head case best of luck lol

[haggard969]

lol shes one of a kind thats for sure

[Salvatore85]

Please don't take this the wrong way but don't you see the issue here? She dumped you to be with someone else and only came back because he treated her terribly. I mean if he was good to her you wouldn't be with her again.

 

Anyway dude I wish you guys the best, I truly hope it works and you two spend a wonderful, happy life together. Good luck man!

[mtnbiker3000]

OP - I have followed your story for the most part. And, as an outside observer, I can say that this is not a good idea. This will only last a short time and leave you in even worse ruins. You will regret this.

 

I strongly advise you leave this alone. Now. You don't see it, but anyone who has read your threads can easily see it. Bad news!!!

 

I can tell by your writing this thread that you are currently riding the wave of high emotions. But it will surely crash and smash you into the reef.

 

Both of you haven't been away from it long enough to see or make any changes. You state it's been 6 months but with over 10 visits. RED FLAG!!! STOP!!!

 

Oh dear

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

New users PLEASE for the love of god dont follow ANY of this.

[Haydn]

Agree. Ive followed your thread op and i think its going to bite you on the arse and you could be back where you started. BUT i do wish you luck.

 

 

New users PLEASE for the love of god dont follow ANY of this.

[melell]

The outcome 'got her back', only tells a small part of the story... all of your posts reflect the way you got to that particular outcome, and honestly, they tell much more. Imo it simply isn't healthy.

[Mariposa10]

I've actually followed your story and was thinking about you the other day I was browsing this forum because I remember how of a mess you were.

 

How can you be so sure that she's not gonna leave you again when she finds someone else. I'm worried about you getting hurt again.

 

Having said that. I wish you would post all the things that your ex gf did to you. Wasn't she the girl who uploaded a picture on fb with the new guy literally minutes after she dumped you? I just think we should be more sensitive when we post threads about getting our exes back. There are people reading this forum who are feeling like they are dying because of the hell they are going through right now. And your post, in my opinion, will create more confusion.

 

One of your tips about what to do to get your ex back caught my attention because I did it. I pretended I was fine with what my ex had done and was doing when in reality I WAS DYING INSIDE. I was having panic attacks. I shouldn't have never done that just so that wouldn't scare my ex away. I should have been selfish about my well-being.

 

I truly hope everything works out for you. And btw you should ALWAYS brush your teeth don't just start doing it when your ex dumps you

 

Good luck!!

[ponchsox]

This won't end well for you..,

[MoooOinkBaaa]

She only came back because that new guy turned out a bad move on her part. She went back to her security blanket just like she said. I would be moving on. My ex left me cause she had a crush on a guy at work, she got friend zoned then she slept with another dude. I'm totally done with her. Find a new better woman.

[David87]

You didn't win nothing, your case is one in 1000 maybe, she slept with another dude, how could you take her back so easily? Sorry I wouldnt take my ex back after sleeping with someone else so soon.

[Confused_01]

If she left you once because someone better came along - what makes you think she will not do it again when someone else 'better' comes along?

 

You should be careful - there is a reason it did not work out the first time.

My ex also came back to me after I went NC - and it only was because they are afraid they are losing their back up / security plan. It didn't work the second time or the third time. Yes, I was foolish enough to get back with my ex twice after being dumped.

 

Maybe things will work out differently for you. And I know you are on a high but what you should really focus on is - is this the girl you really want to be with / spend your life with knowing what she is capable of doing to you? Or are you just so hung up on the idea of wanting her back that you cannot actually see what it is that makes you want to be with her?

 

I really hope it works out for you!

[barky2]

Op first off I want to say congrats... I guess.

 

I'm going to be harsh so bare with me.

 

The dude kicked the crap out of her, she ran to you as her knight.

 

I wish you the best, don't get me wrong but I'm going to lay it on your right now.

 

She'll be in your arms all lovey dovey for awhile,sure.

 

But while you're not with her, her mind will start to reason what happened.

 

" it was my fault , not his " ect ect

 

Then she'll finally answer a text from him asking her to meet up and talk.

 

She'll go.

 

He'll say he'll never do it again.

 

She'll believe him.

 

Now she's back in your arms, and suddenly the lovey dovey girl who came back to you, will become distant.

 

Then she'll tell you she needs some time for her self as she's confused.

 

Meanwhile she'll be at his house with him.

 

Then suddenly she'll tell you that she's going back to him, and leave you, once again.

 

I hope I'm not right, but I'll bet 100$ that I'm damn well close

 

I wish you the best op.

 

 

 

Barky

[mtnbiker3000]

You didn't win nothing, your case is one in 1000 maybe

 

I'd say more like 1 OF 1000. In other words, happens all the time. And always ends the same. Unless it truly is 1 IN 1000 (or more like 10,000), in which case the new RS will work perfectly

 

OP - Please be sure to keep us informed...

Edited January 4, 2014 by mtnbiker3000

[Mariposa10]

I think this thread should be moved to Second Chances.

[haggard969]

i just want to say in my previous posts i didnt realize all my faults n mistakes. wasnt until i was moving on that i fully understood. i fid leave parts of the story out. and the messed up **** i did in the relationship. i will continue to update my progress. like i said. even if she did do it again. i am confident enouph now that i dont need anyone to make me happy. i like my ex but if she wanted to go back to something else then good for her. i dont care like i said. lots of women out there. but why not giveit a try. i wont lose nothing if it fails. she will

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

i just want to say in my previous posts i didnt realize all my faults n mistakes. wasnt until i was moving on that i fully understood. i fid leave parts of the story out. and the messed up **** i did in the relationship. i will continue to update my progress. like i said. even if she did do it again. i am confident enouph now that i dont need anyone to make me happy. i like my ex but if she wanted to go back to something else then good for her. i dont care like i said. lots of women out there. but why not giveit a try. i wont lose nothing if it fails. she will

 

All this would be true if you fully moved on. You haven't. It won't end well.

 

Just saying

[Fangorn]

Brother, I'm glad you're happy at the moment, really I am. Do you honestly think though, that whatever is going on at the moment will last? If you broke up once it will happen again. The best indicator for future behaviour is past behaviour and while I honestly wish you the best of luck in this, I think you need to take some time to honestly assess the situation.

 

You don't miss her, you miss what you had with her. Think about how awful you felt when you break up, do you want to subject yourself to that again? Ex's are ex's for a reason. I say **** that and move on!

 

As much as I miss what I thought I had with my ex, I realise now she wasn't special and different from all the other women, she was exactly the same, dragging me along for security and validation while setting herself up with someone new. If she ever does come running back to me you can be sure I will never have her, she wants to choke down a mile of dick, she's welcome to, but I will never love her again, not after throwing me into a pit of despair so she can go and enjoy another man while leaving me hanging on a thread.

 

It sucks buddy, it really does but if she left you for someone else then drop her and never look back.

[Kevin_D]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really can't stand these "exes are exes for a reason" comments.

 

I've seen so many friends travelling around world, soul searching, only to realise how much they missed their home. It's part of growing up. If you meet someone at a young age, it's only natural to ask yourself "did I make the right choice?". Most of the time you don't, but sometimes you actually do.

 

However, in this particular case, I really don't think it will end very well. I wouldn't take her back so easily.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really can't stand these "exes are exes for a reason" comments.

 

I've seen so many friends travelling around world, soul searching, only to realise how much they missed their home. It's part of growing up. If you meet someone at a young age, it's only natural to ask yourself "did I make the right choice?". Most of the time you do, but sometimes you actually dont

However, in this particular case, I really don't think it will end very well. I wouldn't take her back so easily.

 

Changed for truth.

[Fangorn]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really can't stand these "exes are exes for a reason" comments.

 

I've seen so many friends travelling around world, soul searching, only to realise how much they missed their home. It's part of growing up. If you meet someone at a young age, it's only natural to ask yourself "did I make the right choice?". Most of the time you don't, but sometimes you actually do.

 

However, in this particular case, I really don't think it will end very well. I wouldn't take her back so easily.

 

I used to think like you, that it's natural to ask if "I made the right choice". People need to realise however, that you can't break someone like that then all of a sudden decide they are, in fact, good enough. If they didn't want you to beign with, well then it's their damn loss, let them deal with the consequences while you move on and find someone worth your time and investment that won't drop you to go and ride on other's dicks.

 

DROP HER, MOVE ON! It's really the only self respecting thing to do.

[alphap]

I have been lurking loveshack for quite sometime now. I'm asian and english is not my first languange however I want to share my thoughts now. I think everyone and every relationship and situation is unique we can never conclude what's going to happen. If OP is happy with it then go for it I wish you luck. I hope it turns out great but if not I assure you even if you don't "care" it will hurt as you are in a relationship because you love the other person.

 

I was in a particular situation more than 2yrs ago, gf wanted "space" but I said that's confusing so we broke up. Its mainly because of petty fights and the demands of her work then.. Yes I begged and cried for a couple of weeks but then realized it doesn't work so I moved on. I worked on myself, I got a new job, worked out.. It was hard at first but I got by. I remained NC but from time to time she'll text and I'm courteous with my replies. I don't want to be bitter or just simply ignore her, we had a "nice" break up after all. 3months down the road I found out from a mutual friend that someone was courting her, I didn't make a big deal and I got into dating myself and she found out and bombarded me with texts/calls about it, saw it when I woke up. She wanted to come back to me after 4/5 months after the break up, she was afraid of losing me. We took it slow and I actually made her work for it. Now we're still together and happy. She's cooking me food and washing dishes right now while I type this. lol.

 

The difference between me and OP is if she ever slept with someone already I'm sure I wouldn't consider getting back with her.. It will hunt me I guess. And here in my country its quite a big deal if you have sex with someone, not saying its not a big deal there in US but you get what I mean.

 

I also have the mentality that I love her and care for her but I don't need her. If she ever decides to walk out of my life it will hurt but I know I'll be alright and I can find someone else as I see myself as an attractive guy. I read this line before and its true: "The power in a relationship lies to the person who needs it the least."

[pickflicker]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really can't stand these "exes are exes for a reason" comments.

 

I've seen so many friends travelling around world, soul searching, only to realise how much they missed their home. It's part of growing up. If you meet someone at a young age, it's only natural to ask yourself "did I make the right choice?". Most of the time you don't, but sometimes you actually do.

 

However, in this particular case, I really don't think it will end very well. I wouldn't take her back so easily.

 

No. There's multiple 'soulmates'. There's plenty of potential partners, just like there are plenty of potential friends.

 

Exes are exes for a reason. Only dumpees who are smarting that their ex beat them to the punch, think otherwise.

[Kevin_D]

I used to think like you, that it's natural to ask if "I made the right choice". People need to realise however, that you can't break someone like that then all of a sudden decide they are, in fact, good enough. If they didn't want you to beign with, well then it's their damn loss, let them deal with the consequences while you move on and find someone worth your time and investment that won't drop you to go and ride on other's dicks.

 

DROP HER, MOVE ON! It's really the only self respecting thing to do.

 

People do mistakes. The brain isn't fully developed until after the age of 25. It' well-known that people are quick to blame their partner when they feel unhappy.

 

Don't be a doormat. Don't take your partner back right away. But if you meet your ex five years from now and she says "You know what, I thought I'd be happy, but I've thought about you every day for the last five years", I wouldn't let pride get in the way. Pride sucks.