Fangorn Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 People do mistakes. The brain isn't fully developed until after the age of 25. It' well-known that people are quick to blame their partner when they feel unhappy. Don't be a doormat. Don't take your partner back right away. But if you meet your ex five years from now and she says "You know what, I thought I'd be happy, but I've thought about you every day for the last five years", I wouldn't let pride get in the way. Pride sucks. Yeah, you are correct, people do make mistakes but you've also said "Don't be a doormat" and again, I agree with you. If my ex told me she's thought about me everyday for the last 5 years, I'd tell her to go choke on another mile of dicks. I wasn't good enough for her this time around, why will the next time be any different? I've changed for me, not for her. She gave up a good thing. A strong, dedicated, motivated, loving, loyal provider and partner that would have loved her no matter what (except for leaving me to sleep around) so that she could go and "find herself", by which she meant find herself a way into others beds. I do not want a woman who doesn't love or respect me enough to think 'Yes, that person is attractive, but I love my boyfriend more.' mistake or no. She made her choice, she can deal with it. If she wants to **** other guys, let her, no real loss for me but if she then decides that I was in fact the best option, well she has lost her chance. I will not stand for that BS. Mistakes were made indeed, I have learned from them, everyone else should too. Ex's ARE ex's for a reason. They gave you up. F U C K them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 People do break up, reunite and live happily ever after. To say it can't happen is absurd. However, it is a low percentage play and most of the reunited couples took significant time off (several months, even years), gave up hope of it ever coming back, and when they did reunite, the relationship was almost a complete restart. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 People do break up, reunite and live happily ever after. To say it can't happen is absurd. However, it is a low percentage play and most of the reunited couples took significant time off (several months, even years), gave up hope of it ever coming back, and when they did reunite, the relationship was almost a complete restart. Exactly. I think we all can agree on that you should never wait for someone to comeback. I've seen friend waste several years because of this. Move on, try to see the positive aspects of being single, live your life. But, after dating new people, and you realise that the years with your ex were the happiest in your life, why not give it another shot? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Exactly. I think we all can agree on that you should never wait for someone to comeback. I've seen friend waste several years because of this. Move on, try to see the positive aspects of being single, live your life. But, after dating new people, and you realise that the years with your ex were the happiest in your life, why not give it another shot? Meh, most of the ones that restart come from random run-ins way after the fact. The whole "I was really happy in 2005, let's call my ex from 2005" thing isn't really realistic or viable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fangorn Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Exactly. I think we all can agree on that you should never wait for someone to comeback. I've seen friend waste several years because of this. Move on, try to see the positive aspects of being single, live your life. But, after dating new people, and you realise that the years with your ex were the happiest in your life, why not give it another shot? Because they exhibited ruthless and selfish behaviour? Because they didn't think you were good enough for them? Because they broke your very essence and spirit because a joy ride on the c o c k carousel meant more to them than a loving and meaningful relationship? Now I don't want anyone to think I'm a spiteful misogynist, I fully accept and agree with female sexual liberation and my views stand for the other side of the fence (as in, a guy dumps a girl to sleep around) but you simply cannot treat someone like a disposable piece of trash and them expect them to come back into your life as if nothing had happened. And if, after dating new people, you think the years with your ex were your happiest, well then I'd invite you to remember to A) Think how you felt when they dropped you like garbage for someone else and B) You should probably get your head checked out. People who break up with you to sleep around are not relationship material and those left to pick up the pieces (most of us here on LS) have a golden opportunity to learn from these mistakes. Let the past burn. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 OP, you are co-dependent upon this woman. You've tied your happiness to her. When she was gone, you were in a downward spiral and abusing drugs and alcohol. Now that she's re-appeared you've decided you are happy again. You have not worked on the core issues of co-dependence and alcohol/drug abuse. Until you learn to tie your happiness to yourself and be more independent, and you work on your alcohol and drug abuse, I worry this relationship is doomed to fail again. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveShook Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 If she left on her own free will after being with him and realizing she made a mistake and she was with the wrong person, is one thing. If she left him after he beat her up and then came to you, is another. I dont see this as a free and clear choosing of you over him. I see it as her being forced to make a decision and going to something thats familiar and comfortable. She more than likely still has an attachment to this guy. After things settle and he contacts her, she may go back. Be careful and watch your back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I think perhaps the best thing the OP posted was about brushing your teeth. Solid advice. Twice a day. And floss, don't forget to floss. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 If she left on her own free will after being with him and realizing she made a mistake and she was with the wrong person, is one thing. If she left him after he beat her up and then came to you, is another. I dont see this as a free and clear choosing of you over him. I see it as her being forced to make a decision and going to something thats familiar and comfortable. She more than likely still has an attachment to this guy. After things settle and he contacts her, she may go back. Be careful and watch your back. yea i duno. hes in jail. i guess hes been beating her fora while now. im not concerned if she leaves me or not. i mainly posted this post to show heartbroken ppl that people do get back together when it seems impossible. i tried to type somthing that i was once looking to read when i was smashed to pieces. i hope it helped some people on here. weather me n my gf are sucessful or not Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 yea i duno. hes in jail. i guess hes been beating her fora while now. im not concerned if she leaves me or not. i mainly posted this post to show heartbroken ppl that people do get back together when it seems impossible. i tried to type somthing that i was once looking to read when i was smashed to pieces. i hope it helped some people on here. weather me n my gf are sucessful or not Then why are you with her? If you get back together and then break up again, you realise the experiement is ultimately a failure, right? It's just another setback. The story should end with you getting married and being deliriously happy and together for 50 years, after the emotional break up. That is a success story. This is just a minor relief before the bumpy rollercoaster starts again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 no the reason why iam with her is because ive made huge mistakes in past relationships before. and i know what its like to screw up then realise you did and get rejected, i know the pain of being rejected and i just could not do that to someone, i love my now gf, but i will never love her the same. i feel asif after being traumatized, not to mention she traumatized herself, once the pain started to fade, i feel like im a different person, for her maybe she is maybe she isnt. sometimes you have to take a step back to see what you had, yeah she banged some other dude,. when i found out she first was hanging out with him 2 months before she left me for him, i cheated on her with another girl, and i also slept with 4 more girls inbetween, i too messed up, i know i left that part out of my story, but its true, we all mess up , and if you can forgive n get through hell n back, its like anything that would have broke your heart before it the incodent , now does not apply , my heart broke twice in my life, it is now rebiult with atomanitium and i new motto is i dont give a FUCH Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 oh and what i meant i meant i slept with 4 more girls after we broke up till now Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Can we lock this? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 no the reason why iam with her is because ive made huge mistakes in past relationships before. and i know what its like to screw up then realise you did and get rejected, i know the pain of being rejected and i just could not do that to someone, i love my now gf, but i will never love her the same. i feel asif after being traumatized, not to mention she traumatized herself, once the pain started to fade, i feel like im a different person, for her maybe she is maybe she isnt. sometimes you have to take a step back to see what you had, yeah she banged some other dude,. when i found out she first was hanging out with him 2 months before she left me for him, i cheated on her with another girl, and i also slept with 4 more girls inbetween, i too messed up, i know i left that part out of my story, but its true, we all mess up , and if you can forgive n get through hell n back, its like anything that would have broke your heart before it the incodent , now does not apply , my heart broke twice in my life, it is now rebiult with atomanitium and i new motto is i dont give a FUCH Seriously, this thread should not be about giving hope to anyone, it should be a warning. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 what do you mean lock this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 man clearly alot of you who are unsupportive are just pissed off for some reason, im just posting what happend if you dont want to hear it then dont read it, no one forced you too Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 man clearly alot of you who are unsupportive are just pissed off for some reason, im just posting what happend if you dont want to hear it then dont read it, no one forced you too It's not about that. If your relationship was more stable, you were both more mature, you were both in a better place, we'd all be supportive of that. What we're all seeing here, I think, is two dysfunctional people getting back together. Your girlfriend was with a man who beat her black and blue and is now in jail? She doesn't need another relationship, she needs to seriously think about her choices. You too, express yourself in a destructive manner. You drink and drive, do drugs, and take poor care of yourself. You started to turn that around while you were single, and now you're back with your gf. What happens now? You guys should be apart. It's best for both of you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 i mainly posted this post to show heartbroken ppl that people do get back together when it seems impossible. Maybe I'm just not understanding, but where did this happen to you?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 where did we get back together or where did i get dumped.:S Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 where did we get back together or where did i get dumped.:S Errrr... "I got my ex back?" 'Ex' implying that she was a former girlfriend, 'got her back' implying that youre dating again. I think those shrooms fried your brain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Seriously, this thread should not be about giving hope to anyone, it should be a warning. No offense, haggard. But your thread IS more of a cautionary tale. The relationship is back on from a very rough foundation. Your ex GF seems the type that loves the "high" of being in adoration with whomever shows her some attention. I am also in a relationship after a bad breakup I had in '09. Difference is, it's not my toxic ex AND I spent a LOT of time healing from it before I got into the one I'm in now. I was ready. It was mentioned that it won't end well. Who knows. We all wish you the best for sure but everyone is also trying to be really honest with you. Appreciate that. You might need it later. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 like is said before, sometimes two dysfunctions make a functional.( two negatives equal a posative) If its meant to be it will be if not, then its not, im not god. ive tried to lead my life in the same direction hundreds of times. but i always seem to get pointed in another, my life path is random and it is uncontrolable Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 like is said before, sometimes two dysfunctions make a functional.( two negatives equal a posative) If its meant to be it will be if not, then its not, im not god. ive tried to lead my life in the same direction hundreds of times. but i always seem to get pointed in another, my life path is random and it is uncontrolable Ha! No, they really don't. 2 dysfunctionals do not make a functional. Your path is anything but random and uncontrollable. Less drugs, more critical thinking, ok? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 lol. if everyone new the place i came from. i live in the land of drugs and alchohal, and id said im doing pretty good avoiding all of that, i pulled my self and my gf out of a harderlife then i live now, and im a man, i can do it again, im not the type to give up Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 lol. if everyone new the place i came from. i live in the land of drugs and alchohal, and id said im doing pretty good avoiding all of that, i pulled my self and my gf out of a harderlife then i live now, and im a man, i can do it again, im not the type to give up Every land is the land of drugs and alcohol. So long as you're ready for this thing to implode again (and it will), then that's fine. It's your life. Just be ready for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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