Motivation Gender - Negative/Postive Reinforcement

[jba10582]

As I was watching some of the college football bowl games, I got to thinking about this as the cameras zoomed in on the coaches on the sidelines constantly focused on the game, and often times, screaming and yelling at the refs and even the players because of mistake or flag that was thrown in the game and were focused on playing to win, and, as I saw this, I remember when I played sports competitively and thought about the motivation this has on the players and myself. But, I remember a lot of things were very motivating as a teenager and in my 20s and even when guys are joking around with each, talking sh*t for the heck of it. And so, negative motivation can be very powerful for guys to get in gear and get more engaged in something, because they want to do the right thing in the right circumstances. But as I read more things and notice the effects of certain speakers and books, positive motivation to take action is very powerful as well. I can't remember what book I read, but it mentioned that negative motivation has a more powerful effect on people and is often based on a very primate part of the brain that deals with fear. Although too much negative reinforcement or used in bad ways when taken overboard can become de-motivating, as it tends to drive people away from the pain, and can lead to the point where they can't even cope with it. I can't remember what book it was, but it also mentioned that positive motivation typically has a more powerful effect on females. It seem to me that both positive and negative motivation can have its roles for almost all people in the right situation. Would like to hear people's opinions on this in a civilized discourse.

[Eau Claire]

Interesting. I don't know about you but if my boyfriend ever told me I could stand to lose a pound or two, I'd have the sneakers on in 5 minutes and would be running around the block.

[jba10582]

Interesting. I don't know about you but if my boyfriend ever told me I could stand to lose a pound or two, I'd have the sneakers on in 5 minutes and would be running around the block.

 

So if he said it in those exact words, it would help to motivate you to do something positive, to be more active to go run... without any unnecessary resentment? That is interesting, if that is me interpreting you correctly?

[FitChick]

I don't know about you but if my boyfriend ever told me I could stand to lose a pound or two, I'd have the sneakers on in 5 minutes and would be running around the block.

I am the same. There is only one person to please, other than myself, if I am in a relationship. However, the man should be equally willing to please me when it comes to appearance. Sexual attraction is the difference between a friend and a lover.

[youaremysunshine]

Unless it was coming from a sincere place of concern for my health (unlikely as I somewhat active and a healthy weight) I would think he was just a shallow ******* and tell him to hit the bricks. I don't need a man making me feel bad about myself.

 

But then again I have never dated a fitness buff type. The muscular look never appealed to me and I find all that talk about "lifting" dreadfully boring.

[FitChick]

I would think he was just a shallow ******* and tell him to hit the bricks. I don't need a man making me feel bad about myself.

No one can make you feel bad about yourself. You choose to feel bad based on your beliefs, generally related to low self esteem.

[Shepp]

I see the male/female thing but I don't know if you can draw the line that simply...

 

I think like in sport, I respond better to negative reinforcement. That last minuet free kick that wins us the game - yeah that feels pretty darn great but its the missed opportunities that make me the last guy to leave the training ground.

But then if you think about why your responding to the negative reinforcement its so you can achieve the positive - score the goal, win the match, win the cup.

 

Same with work, we do training exercises all the time but its not the exercise is ace that make me strive to be a better firefighter, its the ones where your too slow, get disorientated. Its that "must try harder" that drives me.

But why? Because I want to be the best, I want to perform at a level where people only have praise.

 

I don't find "you tried your best" motivating from a coach, I think if you finish second "you tried your best" is defeatist - you may well of but that doesn't mean your best can't get better. Someones got to win - it might as well be you! ...Its like they say - in everything you do theres always gonna be someone with more natural talent that you have, faster, taller, a better salesman, a better cook, but theres no excuse for anyone to ever work harder than you do. And hard work will make your best better.

 

Im quite a competitive guy but its hard I wouldn't say "good jobs" drive me the way mistakes do on the face of it, but when you break it down the negative reinforcement is simply increasing my desire for the ultimate positive.

 

 

 

But for me that is reserved purely to that sporting an professional side of my life.

If I cooked dinner and my family sat down and were like "must try harder" id be like screw that!! In relationships, family life, driving & navigating building and anything like that - I would have very very little time for negative reinforcement.

 

 

So I wonder whether it matters more about your gender or the person saying it to you and the circumstance.

 

I could take a disgruntled sports crowd at a bad touch I took on the pitch and make that motivating but if my girlfriend turned round and said to me "you took a bad touch there Alf" I'd find that a hell of a low blow and pretty unmotivating.