High_hopes Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 (edited) Newbie here... I saw my ex girlfriend the other day and walked right past her four feet away. We broke up over a year ago. Part of the reason we did was because she lost interest and started acting really cold. She always had a tough time with communication. She hated it and viewed any conversation about important things as drama. Often, she would just shut down and ignore me or any issue. That happened during our break up. She doesn't want to deal. To me, that is a terrible way to be in a relationship. She had so many problems with her sons dad. She portrayed him as being a constant pain in ass resentful angry uncooperative a****. To some extend he was but I after I saw how she can be I can almost see why he was so angry at her even though they weren't together for years. Being with someone who can't communicate and views every issue as drama is very frustrating. We never even really got off to a good start and our relationship ended on mutual terms and pretty amicably. I once sent an email saying hello but she ignored it, then last spring we took on a chat and it was nice. After that she just went really cold. About five months ago I sent another text to which I never heard back. I sent her an email saying I hope all was well and that there was no harm in saying hello. I heard nothing. After running into her I thought this is crazy. No one did anything wrong here and she obviously didn't want to be with me so why all the resentment. I sent her a text joking about walking past each other even though we obviously say each other. Then I ask if we can chat for a minute. I just want water under the bridge and there is no reason we can't say hello if we see each other. When she didn't respond again I tried calling her and she didn't pick up. One too many attempts in hindsight, yes, for sure but I don't know. I don't want to be with her. I enjoyed her company but we aren't right for each other. I don't think I should be treated that way by her, not anymore and I see no reason why we can't be adults. We were friendly prior to being together. What's going on, is she resentful, angry at herself ? Edited January 4, 2014 by High_hopes Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Do yourself a huge favor and don't try to reason it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 And don't try to contact her again either 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author High_hopes Posted January 4, 2014 Author Share Posted January 4, 2014 (edited) And don't try to contact her again either The thought did cross my mind. She must be mad at herself. I was wrong about a lot of things but my intentions with her were always good. Plus, I was a very loyal, caring guy. I did nothing wrong to her. Not that I know of. I am the one that should be angry but I'm not. I was but I've moved on. I don't really carry any strong resentment. The little bit I do carry keeps me from ever being with this person again but i see no reason why we can't acknowledge each other. Edited January 4, 2014 by High_hopes Link to post Share on other sites
Author High_hopes Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 Guess I carry a little more resentment then I thought. I'm still thinking about it. Maybe I'm mad at myself. Thought I was long over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 It's ok. These things take time. Just stick to no contact. Don't try to get her to respond to you. Please. It will only hurt you when she doesn't. I still think about my ex every day. I wake up next to where she slept. I sit in the morning, in the shower we used to share, drive to work in the car she used to ride in, charging my ohone with the charger she gave me, but at some point you just stop feeling pain from those thought processes. Do these actual thoughts stop? I don't know. For me, they haven't. I suspect that they will if I ever fall in love again. I can say though that I am truly ready for another relationship. It's been 6 months now and while the anguish is gone, it is still a dull, chronic ache. Not over her specifically anymore, but getting your heart broken simply takes a long time to heal. Much longer than any broken bone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author High_hopes Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 I've been ready. For me, it's been a long time. I've dated a few since her. However, although I feel I am ready emotionally I still need a lot of work on myself and my own life before I can shared it with someone again. Though it would be nice to have someone in my life I can hang out with and someone who pushes me to be better. I started a business 6yrs ago that's been fluttering.....It's hard because I gave up a good secure corp job. This girl and I had a lot of issue and problems in our own separate lives and we should not have gotten involved. I saw her for the things she said she wanted out of life and the person she said she wanted to be. She was going threw a separation and divorce and sadly she was vulnerable. Eventually, when she started moving on emotionally from her separation and divorce she started to show who she really was and distanced herself from me quickly and all my issues in her eyes were very problematic. I was patient and put up with a lot of adversity and then she drifted emotionally. To top things off she was the worst communicator i've even been with. A year and a half later (except one occasion) she's still very cold to me. I realized she wasn't the one for me because she was really nothing like the person she portrayed herself to be. She's actually not my type. I did enjoy her company though. I expected more because I thought we had a deep understanding that in the end we did care about each other and we there for each other at a time when we needed someone. As wrong as it was because we both really needed to be alone. Sorry....long winded Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts