What is the point?

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I never said it would be pretty or romantic. I could not care less how it comes out to be, I won't be here to see it. And I don't care if asshat has feelings of it or not. This isn't about him. It's about me.

 

Another thing, this isn't about my ex. Maybe it's a trigger, but taking my life because of him? No way. I'm taking my life for me. Because I'm done suffering. I've suffered from depression since middle school, been told by my family doctor when I was 13 that I had a chemical imbalance. Off and on meds since then. Before my ex I had these problems, after him I still have these problems.. I've had eating disorders, I've been raped and I just am depressed. It's a chemical imbalance. There is nothing else to say.

 

If I wanted attention, I'd be checking myself into a mental hospital and calling up my ex. I'm not seeking attention from a bunch of internet strangers who don't know me from Adam. I don't even know your names, your age or where you live...what makes a difference?

 

 

 

I'm guessing you're sticking around to read responses to your last post. I'm actuallly guessing you probably won't, but find it more prudent to treat all threats as serious.

 

You're not going to get a bunch of touchy freely crap from me. Because I think the only reason you are doing this other than attention is because you think it is romantic.

 

Get that **** out of your head.

 

Here is the reality.

 

When you die, your bladder and bowel will empty itself, your eyes will gray over, and no cosmetologist will be able to hide the basic fact that you are dead.

 

If you are having fantasies of him running over to your house right after to cry over your prim and beautiful dead body looking just as pretty as in real life with rosy cheeks, you are kidding yourself.

 

The coroner will find your body smelling of urine and of ****. If it is pills you are thinking of, quite likely you will have vomit running down your chin as well. If you choke on said vomit, your face will be swollen.

 

This is why you don't do it and won't do it.

 

It's not romantic it is a stupid waste of something beautiful, your life, and all the possibilities and future happiness you are giving up because you are too lacking In spine to suffer this pain so that you can experience it later!

 

Your profile pic looks a lot like a friend I made years ago at a high school summer music camp. But she had the strength, grit, and spine not to end her life over an ******* who would make such a disgusting comment about finding tight pussy, to his hurting ex.

 

Try pretending you are her for a moment. Have her strength and grit.

 

Don't you want to see his face when you find the guy who is twice the man he ever was and you are ten times happier?

 

But if you think your suicide would be pretty and romantic, get that ****e out of your head. It is a stupid lie. It would be nothing but a gross and disgusting waste of you and everything you are!

[Zahara]

I'm tired, I want to go to sleep.

 

Don't you see it? I'm already dead. I've been gone for awhile. All that is left is a blood pumping body walking around like a robot.

 

My cocktail is awaiting me, see you in another life.

 

If you are thinking of suicide, call 911 or a suicide hotline now. Don't sit there writing a post and then taking the time to edit the original by adding words to make it sound more dramatic. I read what you wrote first and your edited version.

 

I just lost a friend in a car accident. I've lost two friends to cancer. I don't take kindly to people trivializing their lives over some douchebag that pissed on them. I understand feeling the emotional and mental drain to the point of wanting to end your life, but don't toy with people's minds -- just as Vinsanity did recently when he posted he was going to commit suicide and left people worried when he disappeared.

 

People can't help you from behind a screen or afar and certainly do not want to be in a situation that leaves people feeling guilt for not being able to help you. And people here certainly do not want to feel helpless if you decide to make these threats and disappear. Don't put anyone in a situation like that.

 

For the sake of your family and friends, I would ask that you consider checking yourself into a treatment facility rather than spend your time on LS declaring a devastating act with such callousness. And for the sake of your loved ones, I would sit down and consider the love that they have to give to you and what a travesty it would be to simply throw that all away just because of one stupid asswipe.

[pickflicker]

I never said it would be pretty or romantic. I could not care less how it comes out to be, I won't be here to see it. And I don't care if asshat has feelings of it or not. This isn't about him. It's about me.

 

Another thing, this isn't about my ex. Maybe it's a trigger, but taking my life because of him? No way. I'm taking my life for me. Because I'm done suffering. I've suffered from depression since middle school, been told by my family doctor when I was 13 that I had a chemical imbalance. Off and on meds since then. Before my ex I had these problems, after him I still have these problems.. I've had eating disorders, I've been raped and I just am depressed. It's a chemical imbalance. There is nothing else to say.

 

If I wanted attention, I'd be checking myself into a mental hospital and calling up my ex. I'm not seeking attention from a bunch of internet strangers who don't know me from Adam. I don't even know your names, your age or where you live...what makes a difference?

 

Then why don't you call the hospital and check yourself in. What have you go to lose?

[pickflicker]

If you are thinking of suicide, call 911 or a suicide hotline now. Don't sit there writing a post and then taking the time to edit the original by adding words to make it sound more dramatic. I read what you wrote first and your edited version.

 

.

 

Thanks for mentioning this. I noticed it too. That's why I wasn't too worried about my strong words. I suspect it's not a cry for help, more like 'crying wolf'.

Edited January 6, 2014 by pickflicker

[Zahara]

Thanks for mentioning this. I noticed it too. That's why I wasn't too worried about my strong words. I suspect it's not a cry for help, more like crying wolf.

 

Yes, she reminds me of a poster -- YNL89.

 

Someone that is wanting to commit suicide won't be spending time on a forum writing and editing/ re-writing posts to increase its shock value.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Thanks for mentioning this. I noticed it too. That's why I wasn't too worried about my strong words. I suspect it's not a cry for help, more like 'crying wolf'.

 

Wow, way to push someone off the edge.

[AnyaNova]

I never said it would be pretty or romantic. I could not care less how it comes out to be, I won't be here to see it. And I don't care if asshat has feelings of it or not. This isn't about him. It's about me.

 

Another thing, this isn't about my ex. Maybe it's a trigger, but taking my life because of him? No way. I'm taking my life for me. Because I'm done suffering. I've suffered from depression since middle school, been told by my family doctor when I was 13 that I had a chemical imbalance. Off and on meds since then. Before my ex I had these problems, after him I still have these problems.. I've had eating disorders, I've been raped and I just am depressed. It's a chemical imbalance. There is nothing else to say.

 

If I wanted attention, I'd be checking myself into a mental hospital and calling up my ex. I'm not seeking attention from a bunch of internet strangers who don't know me from Adam. I don't even know your names, your age or where you live...what makes a difference?

 

Before you go taking your life.

 

Depression is often secondary to a primary physical condition.

 

Have you recent had

 

1) the three thyroid tests, Tsh, t3, and ft4?

2) all of your vitamin and electrolyte levels tested?

 

And have you tried the TLC Paleolithic therapy including fish oils, 30 minutes of of sunshine a day, high intensity exercise at least three times a week, stopping rumination, supplementing vitamins and especially D, and improving social ties and interaction?

 

The program I think was started by Dr. Ilardi? At KU, and has either been found equally or more effective than medication, I can remember which.

 

Keep fighting a lite longer. Rule out a physical cause and give TLC a try.

 

And even if the depression really can be beat, which I really think it can be, at least wait a solid year so asshat doesn't think it is all about him.

 

But just don't. Don't do it. A solution can always be found. But that decision can never be taken back once made!

[Zahara]

Wow, way to push someone off the edge.

 

The only one doing that to you is you.

[pickflicker]

Wow, way to push someone off the edge.

 

You're not going to guilt trip me here. Zahara was right. You wrote something, then went back and edited it, punching up the language to make it more dramatic.

 

That is clear manipulation, and I am not going to feel guilty or lose sleep because you're attempting to manipulate people's emotions on here.

 

Now, if you want practical solutions to your break up, we're all here for that. But if you're going to cry wolf to seek attention and manipulate people, there's little we can offer you from behind a keyboard.

[pickflicker]

Before you go taking your life.

 

Depression is often secondary to a primary physical condition.

 

Have you recent had

 

1) the three thyroid tests, Tsh, t3, and ft4?

2) all of your vitamin and electrolyte levels tested?

 

And have you tried the TLC Paleolithic therapy including fish oils, 30 minutes of of sunshine a day, high intensity exercise at least three times a week, stopping rumination, supplementing vitamins and especially D, and improving social ties and interaction?

 

The program I think was started by Dr. Ilardi? At KU, and has either been found equally or more effective than medication, I can remember which.

 

Keep fighting a lite longer. Rule out a physical cause and give TLC a try.

 

And even if the depression really can be beat, which I really think it can be, at least wait a solid year so asshat doesn't think it is all about him.

 

But just don't. Don't do it. A solution can always be found. But that decision can never be taken back once made!

 

Fan-freakin-tastic advice! Plenty for BYCS to consider there. I didn't even think of the thyroid connection...

[Omei]

Most people that commit suicide, it comes as a shock to people when it happens because there isn't much pre warning.

 

People that talk about it a lot and reach out like you are feel that emotion but deep down have no intention of following through, suicide is hard there is a lot of fear to actually go through with it.

 

By your posts you still care for life a great deal.

Seek a doctor for help.

[fixing]

I'm guessing you're sticking around to read responses to your last post. I'm actuallly guessing you probably won't, but find it more prudent to treat all threats as serious.

 

You're not going to get a bunch of touchy freely crap from me. Because I think the only reason you are doing this other than attention is because you think it is romantic.

 

Get that **** out of your head.

 

Here is the reality.

 

When you die, your bladder and bowel will empty itself, your eyes will gray over, and no cosmetologist will be able to hide the basic fact that you are dead.

 

If you are having fantasies of him running over to your house right after to cry over your prim and beautiful dead body looking just as pretty as in real life with rosy cheeks, you are kidding yourself.

 

The coroner will find your body smelling of urine and of ****. If it is pills you are thinking of, quite likely you will have vomit running down your chin as well. If you choke on said vomit, your face will be swollen.

 

This is why you don't do it and won't do it.

 

It's not romantic it is a stupid waste of something beautiful, your life, and all the possibilities and future happiness you are giving up because you are too lacking In spine to suffer this pain so that you can experience it later!

 

Your profile pic looks a lot like a friend I made years ago at a high school summer music camp. But she had the strength, grit, and spine not to end her life over an ******* who would make such a disgusting comment about finding tight pussy, to his hurting ex.

 

Try pretending you are her for a moment. Have her strength and grit.

 

Don't you want to see his face when you find the guy who is twice the man he ever was and you are ten times happier?

 

But if you think your suicide would be pretty and romantic, get that ****e out of your head. It is a stupid lie. It would be nothing but a gross and disgusting waste of you and everything you are!

 

Excellent post!

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Look at all of you. How cruel are you people?

 

It's like bullying. Internet bullying. None of you understand depression, because you don't have it. And if you do, then I would hope you could be a little more empathic since you would know where I am coming from.

 

Shame on all of you.

 

The world has become a cold cruel place and this proves it. You all are so quick to judge. Nobody has empathy anymore, no one. You all just push and shove and I'm tripping over my feet as you willingly push me off the edge, dust your hands off and walk away saying, "she would have done it anyways" Cold people.

 

I don't come on here to increase shock value. I come on here to share a story about a girl who went through something rough, and hopefully would be able to find some peace on here, someone to understand me. But you all are just despicable people.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Most people that commit suicide, it comes as a shock to people when it happens because there isn't much pre warning.

 

People that talk about it a lot and reach out like you are feel that emotion but deep down have no intention of following through, suicide is hard there is a lot of fear to actually go through with it.

 

By your posts you still care for life a great deal.

Seek a doctor for help.

 

Actually man people who are contemplating suicide, reach out for help before the finishing act. In fact, each individual is different. Some people weren't aware of the suicidal subject because they were too ignorant to recognize the cry for help.

[pickflicker]

Look at all of you. How cruel are you people?

 

It's like bullying. Internet bullying. None of you understand depression, because you don't have it. And if you do, then I would hope you could be a little more empathic since you would know where I am coming from.

 

Shame on all of you.

 

The world has become a cold cruel place and this proves it. You all are so quick to judge. Nobody has empathy anymore, no one. You all just push and shove and I'm tripping over my feet as you willingly push me off the edge, dust your hands off and walk away saying, "she would have done it anyways" Cold people.

 

I don't come on here to increase shock value. I come on here to share a story about a girl who went through something rough, and hopefully would be able to find some peace on here, someone to understand me. But you all are just despicable people.

 

You're attempting to blame other people for the potential to take your own life.

 

The only person who is responsible for your own well-being, is you.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

You're not going to guilt trip me here. Zahara was right. You wrote something, then went back and edited it, punching up the language to make it more dramatic.

 

That is clear manipulation, and I am not going to feel guilty or lose sleep because you're attempting to manipulate people's emotions on here.

 

Now, if you want practical solutions to your break up, we're all here for that. But if you're going to cry wolf to seek attention and manipulate people, there's little we can offer you from behind a keyboard.

 

For the last time, please, this is not about my breakup!!! Please listen and read. If you aren't going to help me, then don't.

 

I'm not here to manipulate anyone. I'm a writer, I edit and edit every post because I'm a perfectionist. Knock it off, it's not like no one else does that. cheese n rice.

 

sleep well tonight, at least someone is.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

You're attempting to blame other people for the potential to take your own life.

 

The only person who is responsible for your own well-being, is you.

 

Forget it. I'm tired of asking for help. You can think what you want.

 

i'm not blaming anyone. Just don't blame me for what I want to do with my life.

[pickflicker]

For the last time, please, this is not about my breakup!!! Please listen and read. If you aren't going to help me, then don't.

 

I'm not here to manipulate anyone. I'm a writer, I edit and edit every post because I'm a perfectionist. Knock it off, it's not like no one else does that. cheese n rice.

 

sleep well tonight, at least someone is.

 

You've been given a bucketload of advice and support on here. You've just received another excellent piece of advice from AnyaNova. And you should check yourself into a mental health facility. Throwing a tantrum and saying how despicable and unsupportive we are is blatantly false, and you know it. Such behaviour will not endear you to anyone. You're a grown up, and you're acting like a child.

[AnyaNova]

Most people that commit suicide, it comes as a shock to people when it happens because there isn't much pre warning.

 

People that talk about it a lot and reach out like you are feel that emotion but deep down have no intention of following through, suicide is hard there is a lot of fear to actually go through with it.

 

By your posts you still care for life a great deal.

Seek a doctor for help.

 

The bolded portion, Bcys, will probably feel like an insult or somehow saying that you are weak. It says nothing of he sort.

 

This is a great thing! It is a good thing and you should hold on to it with all of your might!

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

1) the three thyroid tests, Tsh, t3, and ft4?

Yes all came back good

 

2) all of your vitamin and electrolyte levels tested?

I am vit d deficient

 

And have you tried the TLC Paleolithic therapy including fish oils, 30 minutes of of sunshine a day, high intensity exercise at least three times a week, stopping rumination, supplementing vitamins and especially D, and improving social ties and interaction?

No besides exercising and interactions

 

And even if the depression really can be beat, which I really think it can be, at least wait a solid year so asshat doesn't think it is all about him.

 

Asshat wouldn't even know if I were alive or not.

 

 

To be honest, after hearing all these rude comments, I've gotten even lower and my anxiety is through the roof right now. I just can't believe it. It's shocking.

[pickflicker]

Forget it. I'm tired of asking for help. You can think what you want.

 

i'm not blaming anyone. Just don't blame me for what I want to do with my life.

 

Who else does one blame? It's your life. You're in the driver's seat. Stop acting like life is like an out of control rollercoaster and seize control.

[Omei]

Actually man people who are contemplating suicide, reach out for help before the finishing act. In fact, each individual is different. Some people weren't aware of the suicidal subject because they were too ignorant to recognize the cry for help.

 

I say that because it's fact, and the majority.

And im replying because I have been like you when I was a teen I went through a lot I wanted to take my life I had no second thoughts I did not reach out.

 

I took countless amounts of pills only to fail and spend the next 4 days coughing up acid the pain was unbearable, worse than what it feels like to give birth afterwards I felt low stupid and ashamed.

[fixing]

Look at all of you. How cruel are you people?

 

It's like bullying. Internet bullying. None of you understand depression, because you don't have it. And if you do, then I would hope you could be a little more empathic since you would know where I am coming from.

 

Shame on all of you.

 

The world has become a cold cruel place and this proves it. You all are so quick to judge. Nobody has empathy anymore, no one. You all just push and shove and I'm tripping over my feet as you willingly push me off the edge, dust your hands off and walk away saying, "she would have done it anyways" Cold people.

 

I don't come on here to increase shock value. I come on here to share a story about a girl who went through something rough, and hopefully would be able to find some peace on here, someone to understand me. But you all are just despicable people.

 

Fwiw, i suffer from clinical depression, and i am now on the maximum dose of AD's. Was diagnosed aged 7, but nothing done about it until i was 22.

 

I also attempted suicide two times, the first i slashed my wrist to the bone, permanently damaging my tendons, leaving an awful ugly looking scar i have to hide.

The other i took an overdose, and was found by a neighbor, i had my stomach pumped.

 

So stop assuming you know everything about the posters who are trying to help you.

I also know two people who committed suicide, and it has completely destroyed both of their families. A decade later and they still mourn and grieve. Its a cowards way out. We all die, so why rush it?

 

Btw, if your thinking about taking an overdose, think again, most people end up in a coma, and if they awake, they are usually brain damaged from it. Not like in the movies where you drift off peacefully.

 

So, go and seek help from doctors.

 

P.s, i wouldn't dream of sharing my story if it weren't for the fact i can do it anonymously.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

You've been given a bucketload of advice and support on here. You've just received another excellent piece of advice from AnyaNova. And you should check yourself into a mental health facility. Throwing a tantrum and saying how despicable and unsupportive we are is blatantly false, and you know it. Such behaviour will not endear you to anyone. You're a grown up, and you're acting like a child.

 

I don't know why you bother me so much, but I'm done letting you bully me. I would never treat someone like you have, that's rude and the fact you feel no remorse is ruthless. Yes, others have helped me, but not you. Please just leave me alone.

 

Maybe you all should read, "the noonday demon". It might help you with understanding someone who is depressed. It's hard for you all to understand what I'm going through if you haven't experienced it yourself. I don't blame you for not knowing. Just don't try to solve me, don't push someone down who is already weak. Good people don't do that, even behind a computer screen when their face is hidden. I pray for you while I pray for myself to find the strength to stay here.

 

Do some research on this touchy subject before you criticize someone as an overgrown toddler.

[pickflicker]

I don't know why you bother me so much, but I'm done letting you bully me. I would never treat someone like you have, that's rude and the fact you feel no remorse is ruthless. Yes, others have helped me, but not you. Please just leave me alone.

 

Maybe you all should read, "the noonday demon". It might help you with understanding someone who is depressed. It's hard for you all to understand what I'm going through if you haven't experienced it yourself. I don't blame you for not knowing. Just don't try to solve me, don't push someone down who is already weak. Good people don't do that, even behind a computer screen when their face is hidden. I pray for you while I pray for myself to find the strength to stay here.

 

Do some research on this touchy subject before you criticize someone as an overgrown toddler.

 

I know plenty about depression. I am not beating you down. I am trying to get you to accept some personal responsibility. This isn't bullying. Far from it.

 

In-patient facility. Now.