What is the point?

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I'm not reading this whole thread although I thin kI have hit the highlights.

 

Ok BYCS, as the suggestions/direction provided by posters in response to you crisis were not well received (including some pretty brave admissions by otheres who suffer form depression...) why don't you tell us in your words what you think you needed when at a low point. I don't have time to read a book but that doesn't mean I am not interested in learning/understanding. What is difficult in communicating with someone with depression or a mood disorder is that the logic switches that work for someone without those conditions are not engaged when the affected person is in crisis.

 

Thank you for an interest in my depression.

 

Honestly, I have suffered depression since I was 13 years old. Empathy is what a lot of depressive people need. But to be empathetic is to be understanding, which is really hard to find. Sympathy is feeling sorry for the person. To be empathic is to put yourself in that persons shoes and say "you know what, what you are going through is tough and I am here for you" Sympathy is "oh gosh, that sucks, do you want me to make you a cake?" And then you have individuals who mark you as an "attention seeker" or "melodramatic" or even as far as "crying wolf" which The Noonday Demon sheds light on and how dangerous it is to presume such a thing. I've always believed that if you can't understand something then you either say nothing or be empathic and try to understand what you don't.

 

I think a lot of people don't take depression seriously. I know from experience. It's a very lonely feeling.

 

From the book THE NOONDAY DEMON a couple of quotes:

 

“It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments or expressions of outrage. You should steer clear of emotionally damaging behavior. When you are depressed, you need the love of other people, and yet depression fosters actions that destroy that love. Depressed people often stick pins into their own life rafts. The conscious mind can intervene. One is not helpless.”

 

Which is why I am no longer fighting against people on this thread. You can think of me however you want. What matters most is how I think of myself. If you want to know more about depression, I can tell you my experiences. But if you want to fight me against the subject, then you won't get a response from me. I'm not directing this towards you, Allumere, but other posters.

 

“Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.”

 

“Psychologically, I will not have to seek far if I decide to kill myself, because in my mind and heart I am more ready for this than for the unplanned daily tribulations that mark off the mornings and afternoons.”

 

The book truly is brilliant. I am not even finished reading it yet, it's a handful to take in and I will probably read it again. In fact, I'm working on my own book. It would be a miracle if I could ever get published, but it's definitely something I want to do before I die...share my secrets and possibly relate to someone out there.

 

The thing that annoys me the most...is how people assume this is still about my ex. In the way that I'm depressed because of my ex. It's not. I'm moving on. It's been awhile now. And I'm focusing on other things. I'm trying to fix ME now. This is SOO much more than my ex, always has been. My depression, self esteem issues and so on is the reason why I took him back every time, if it weren't my ex it would be some other guy.

 

I'm sorting that out now, but that doesn't mean I don't suffer every day.

 

Depression isn't just something that goes away like the flu, it's something you deal with everyday, possibly for the rest of your life. It's a battle everyday.

[Allumere]

Awesome feedback, thanks. I think many folks, myself included, fall into fix- it mode. We are aware of the things that can help people with mood disorders but maybe not so much of the things that can help the person...if that makes sense.