What is the point?

[im_thedude]

1) the three thyroid tests, Tsh, t3, and ft4?

Yes all came back good

 

2) all of your vitamin and electrolyte levels tested?

I am vit d deficient

 

And have you tried the TLC Paleolithic therapy including fish oils, 30 minutes of of sunshine a day, high intensity exercise at least three times a week, stopping rumination, supplementing vitamins and especially D, and improving social ties and interaction?

No besides exercising and interactions

 

And even if the depression really can be beat, which I really think it can be, at least wait a solid year so asshat doesn't think it is all about him.

 

Asshat wouldn't even know if I were alive or not.

 

 

To be honest, after hearing all these rude comments, I've gotten even lower and my anxiety is through the roof right now. I just can't believe it. It's shocking.

 

I'm scared for your well being. I would suggest taking a night off from the internet, and spend the evening having dinner with your family or friends. I think you are in real need of human interaction, and more importantly, showing somebody in person just how dire your emotional situation has become. If you are having depressive and/or suicidal thoughts, these are things you NEED to broadcast to somebody in person. Do not choose to only let emotions out on an anonymous forum.

[AnyaNova]

Look at all of you. How cruel are you people?

 

It's like bullying. Internet bullying. None of you understand depression, because you don't have it. And if you do, then I would hope you could be a little more empathic since you would know where I am coming from.

 

Shame on all of you.

 

The world has become a cold cruel place and this proves it. You all are so quick to judge. Nobody has empathy anymore, no one. You all just push and shove and I'm tripping over my feet as you willingly push me off the edge, dust your hands off and walk away saying, "she would have done it anyways" Cold people.

 

I don't come on here to increase shock value. I come on here to share a story about a girl who went through something rough, and hopefully would be able to find some peace on here, someone to understand me. But you all are just despicable people.

 

Oh, you think I don't understand depression from the inside out? I spent years on all kinds of psych meds that weren't really working due to depression and other psych symptoms caused by my gluten Intolerant nutritional depletion.

 

Do not think I haven't been contemplating similar things more times than you can count, because I have.

 

I understand it from the inside out.

 

And I also understand how current circumstances often play into your brain's attempt to explain why it feels depressed.

 

I would never bully or speak in anger to someone suffering. But I also know. That sometimes suffering people need reality checks and wake up calls.

 

Fight for your life, because no one else will!

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Fwiw, i suffer from clinical depression, and i am now on the maximum dose of AD's. Was diagnosed aged 7, but nothing done about it until i was 22.

 

I also attempted suicide two times, the first i slashed my wrist to the bone, permanently damaging my tendons, leaving an awful ugly looking scar i have to hide.

The other i took an overdose, and was found by a neighbor, i had my stomach pumped.

 

So stop assuming you know everything about the posters who are trying to help you.

I also know two people who committed suicide, and it has completely destroyed both of their families. A decade later and they still mourn and grieve. Its a cowards way out. We all die, so why rush it?

 

Btw, if your thinking about taking an overdose, think again, most people end up in a coma, and if they awake, they are usually brain damaged from it. Not like in the movies where you drift off peacefully.

 

So, go and seek help from doctors.

 

P.s, i wouldn't dream of sharing my story if it weren't for the fact i can do it anonymously.

 

 

As I have said, each individual is so different. You are not me, I am not you. What I do is different from you.

 

I'm sorry what you have gone through. Glad you are still here and can share your story with me.

 

Being anonymous is a protective shield so no one knows who I am, no one can stop me from what I want.

 

We all have different opinions and wants in life, which makes us all diverse. I'm not here to fight, I've got nothing to fight for.

 

"Though everyone is entitled to their own opinion, saying suicide is selfish is insensitive and demonstrates that someone does not have a grasp of what suicide really is. People fail to realize that saying suicide is selfish basically means that a person who is greatly suffering should continue existing so others won't have to deal with their loss. Now THAT is selfish. My cousin committed suicide a little over two years ago and it was hard to cope with his death, but what helped my family and I cope was the fact that he was no longer suffering. At the time of his death, he had been suffering with manic depression for five years and we knew how much he was suffering. My family and I felt initial anger and resentment as many people do when coping with such a tragedy, but we were able to realize that he was no longer suffering and he is in a better place. No one should force a suffering person to live. I miss him everyday, but I don't think any lower of him because of this decision"

 

It’s self-defeating to tell a suicidal person that he/she is selfish; it reinforces their self hate, their lack of purpose on earth. It’s also quite disrespectful to disregard the person’s pain, even after death. This sick conventional wisdom puts mental illness into a proverbial box. Suicide is a selfish act only insofar as it pertains to the explicit definition of a “self” acting upon “self."

 

You ever think that I came here to just feel like I mattered to someone? Even if it's just a stranger? You ever think that I came here looking for someone to just care? Maybe change my mind? Instead, most of you have enforced my decision.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Oh, you think I don't understand depression from the inside out? I spent years on all kinds of psych meds that weren't really working due to depression and other psych symptoms caused by my gluten Intolerant nutritional depletion.

 

Do not think I haven't been contemplating similar things more times than you can count, because I have.

 

I understand it from the inside out.

 

And I also understand how current circumstances often play into your brain's attempt to explain why it feels depressed.

 

I would never bully or speak in anger to someone suffering. But I also know. That sometimes suffering people need reality checks and wake up calls.

 

Fight for your life, because no one else will!

REMINDER: I don't want a reality check or wake up call. I know reality, I know what I am facing. I have been THINKING of it for over 10 years!!!

 

Hurtful words and reality checks and "tough" love tends to put me just in more despair and pain. I mean, why would that help anyone? It's degrading.

 

Empathy, compassion, love is what people need. Hell, I need a xanax now.

[pickflicker]

As I have said, each individual is so different. You are not me, I am not you. What I do is different from you.

 

I'm sorry what you have gone through. Glad you are still here and can share your story with me.

 

Being anonymous is a protective shield so no one knows who I am, no one can stop me from what I want.

 

We all have different opinions and wants in life, which makes us all diverse. I'm not here to fight, I've got nothing to fight for.

 

"Though everyone is entitled to their own opinion, saying suicide is selfish is insensitive and demonstrates that someone does not have a grasp of what suicide really is. People fail to realize that saying suicide is selfish basically means that a person who is greatly suffering should continue existing so others won't have to deal with their loss. Now THAT is selfish. My cousin committed suicide a little over two years ago and it was hard to cope with his death, but what helped my family and I cope was the fact that he was no longer suffering. At the time of his death, he had been suffering with manic depression for five years and we knew how much he was suffering. My family and I felt initial anger and resentment as many people do when coping with such a tragedy, but we were able to realize that he was no longer suffering and he is in a better place. No one should force a suffering person to live. I miss him everyday, but I don't think any lower of him because of this decision"

 

It’s self-defeating to tell a suicidal person that he/she is selfish; it reinforces their self hate, their lack of purpose on earth. It’s also quite disrespectful to disregard the person’s pain, even after death. This sick conventional wisdom puts mental illness into a proverbial box. Suicide is a selfish act only insofar as it pertains to the explicit definition of a “self” acting upon “self."

 

You ever think that I came here to just feel like I mattered to someone? Even if it's just a stranger? You ever think that I came here looking for someone to just care? Maybe change my mind? Instead, most of you have enforced my decision.

 

Again, you're projecting responsibility and blame on other people, for your decision. You're trying to justify it by saying "Oh well, an internet collective of anonymous people drove me to it. Not my fault.

 

No one is holding the razor to your wrist except you. If you came on here hoping that people would justify your decision through their reactions, you are sorely mistaken. That is a complete misinterpretation of what is going on here, and that's on YOU.

[pickflicker]

REMINDER: I don't want a reality check or wake up call. I know reality, I know what I am facing. I have been THINKING of it for over 10 years!!!

 

Hurtful words and reality checks and "tough" love tends to put me just in more despair and pain. I mean, why would that help anyone? It's degrading.

 

Empathy, compassion, love is what people need. Hell, I need a xanax now.

 

So, what do you want people to say? Tell us the ideal response to this situation.

[AnyaNova]

I'm scared for your well being. I would suggest taking a night off from the internet, and spend the evening having dinner with your family or friends. I think you are in real need of human interaction, and more importantly, showing somebody in person just how dire your emotional situation has become. If you are having depressive and/or suicidal thoughts, these are things you NEED to broadcast to somebody in person. Do not choose to only let emotions out on an anonymous forum.

 

I think in person help needs to be gotten, but I think right now it is probably beyond the help of friends and family at dinner. I think checking in to a hospital is probably the safest bet for her right now.

 

But I definitely agree. I think that is why I responded so strongly at first. She is seeking help over the internet from people who are not fundamentally equipped to be able to give her the help she needs.

 

But very good advice.

[Omei]

No one is bullying you here or being unsympathetic quite the opposite if that was true no one would be here trying to stop you now you just don't like the raw realness of what people are telling you, some of it might sound harsh but you do not have a special one of a kind never had before type of depression some people replying to you know 100% what you're going through, even have taken further steps only to survive get stronger and realize how stupid it was and are now thankful to be alive nothing in this life is worth killing yourself over.

 

You don't know what pain is, pain is watching your whole family being skinned and gassed alive in the holocaust, pain is not having food or water and starve to death, pain is having your child taken raped and murdered I could go on and on.

 

People are trying to help you, let them.

[fixing]

As I have said, each individual is so different. You are not me, I am not you. What I do is different from you.

 

I'm sorry what you have gone through. Glad you are still here and can share your story with me.

 

Being anonymous is a protective shield so no one knows who I am, no one can stop me from what I want.

 

We all have different opinions and wants in life, which makes us all diverse. I'm not here to fight, I've got nothing to fight for.

 

"Though everyone is entitled to their own opinion, saying suicide is selfish is insensitive and demonstrates that someone does not have a grasp of what suicide really is. People fail to realize that saying suicide is selfish basically means that a person who is greatly suffering should continue existing so others won't have to deal with their loss. Now THAT is selfish. My cousin committed suicide a little over two years ago and it was hard to cope with his death, but what helped my family and I cope was the fact that he was no longer suffering. At the time of his death, he had been suffering with manic depression for five years and we knew how much he was suffering. My family and I felt initial anger and resentment as many people do when coping with such a tragedy, but we were able to realize that he was no longer suffering and he is in a better place. No one should force a suffering person to live. I miss him everyday, but I don't think any lower of him because of this decision"

 

It’s self-defeating to tell a suicidal person that he/she is selfish; it reinforces their self hate, their lack of purpose on earth. It’s also quite disrespectful to disregard the person’s pain, even after death. This sick conventional wisdom puts mental illness into a proverbial box. Suicide is a selfish act only insofar as it pertains to the explicit definition of a “self” acting upon “self."

 

You ever think that I came here to just feel like I mattered to someone? Even if it's just a stranger? You ever think that I came here looking for someone to just care? Maybe change my mind? Instead, most of you have enforced my decision.

 

People love you. Your family love you. Your mum, your dad, brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles, cousins, friends. We are all passengers in this life. We all die in the end. You were given the most beautiful thing in this universe. LIFE. You have a duty to carry yourself until the end. It is SELFISH because you will DESTROY YOUR FAMILY, maybe one or two of them will follow in your footsteps because they cant ****ing cope with the fact that their beautiful baby took it upon herself to COMMIT SUICIDE.

Try going down to a cancer patients ward and tell the young and old patients you want to kill yourself....

They are begging, praying and pleading with God and beyond to stay afloat and live whilst your here selfishly wanting to throw your life away.

 

Stop being so defensive and realise we are all trying to help you.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Again, you're projecting responsibility and blame on other people, for your decision. You're trying to justify it by saying "Oh well, an internet collective of anonymous people drove me to it. Not my fault.

 

No one is holding the razor to your wrist except you. If you came on here hoping that people would justify your decision through their reactions, you are sorely mistaken. That is a complete misinterpretation of what is going on here, and that's on YOU.

 

I am not blaming anyone. This was my choice from the beginning. Stop assuming. You hold no responsibility for a stranger. Loosen your grip. This is all on ME, my choice. I don't want it to be anyone else's. It's mine.

 

Nobody has justified my decisions, but made them more pulsingly painful to share. I reached out and was pushed down and crucified for sharing my feelings. I cant imagine sharing it with my mother or friends after how some of you reacted. I can't handle that kind of attitude from them. I would literally go off the wall.

 

Stop thinking you know what I feel or am thinking. It's a waste of time.

 

This has already been planned, before I even knew of you.

[pickflicker]

I am not blaming anyone. This was my choice from the beginning. Stop assuming. You hold no responsibility for a stranger. Loosen your grip. This is all on ME, my choice. I don't want it to be anyone else's. It's mine.

 

Nobody has justified my decisions, but made them more pulsingly painful to share. I reached out and was pushed down and crucified for sharing my feelings. I cant imagine sharing it with my mother or friends after how some of you reacted. I can't handle that kind of attitude from them. I would literally go off the wall.

 

Stop thinking you know what I feel or am thinking. It's a waste of time.

 

This has already been planned, before I even knew of you.

 

What is an appropriate reaction, if arguing that suicide is a bonehead decision is not?

 

Should we be holding hands and singing 'kumbaya' while you off yourself? Tell you "It's ok...it'll all be over soon?"

 

Forget it. That right there, would be a bonehead way to approach it.

[AnyaNova]

REMINDER: I don't want a reality check or wake up call. I know reality, I know what I am facing. I have been THINKING of it for over 10 years!!!

 

Hurtful words and reality checks and "tough" love tends to put me just in more despair and pain. I mean, why would that help anyone? It's degrading.

 

Empathy, compassion, love is what people need. Hell, I need a xanax now.

 

It is not degrading to be given an accurate picture of what suicide will look like.

 

It is not degrading to point out everything that you will lose if you do this.

 

It is certainly not degrading to ensure that you have tried everything first.

 

But you have been posting on this topic for several days about how you were giving up on life. You got tons of empathy, you got tons of compassion, and none of it seemed to help at all.

 

Also, did you actually see the numbers on each of the levels and compare them to the the normal range. Many times your thyroid can be seriously out of whack, but because everything is "in the normal range" a doctor who doesn't specialize in thyroids won't recognize that something is seriously wrong.

 

Same with the vitamin and electrolyte levels. Many people begin to suffer depletion symptoms before they fall below the lowest number in the range.

 

Look. I know it hurts like hell. I know you feel attacked right now. But at least me, I can speak for myself, I am not attacking you.

 

I wanted to ensure that you weren't romanticizing it. You said you weren't and I believe you.

 

Then I wanted to be sure that it wasn't secondary to a physical primary condition.

 

And I also simply made sure that you understood that I know what it feels like to think that you've used up all your options and that nothing will make it better. That I know what it feels like to consider taking those pills. That I have, in fact, taken those pills, and am lucky to be alive. I wouldn't have been brain damaged. At the least and if lucky, I might have made it on to the kidney transplant list but probably not. I wouldn't have been brain damaged. Most likely, I would have been dead.

 

But yes! You DO need a wake up call. Suicide, is a choice that is never made on one's best and clearest days.

 

I know you feel horrible right now. I know you feel that there is no hope.

 

But there is.

 

And consider, that even if we are going about it misguidedly, that there are several people enough who care enough about you, a random stranger off the internet, to post several times to try and convince you not to.

 

But I'm the Dude is right, we can't really be the help that you need. Only other people there in person with you can.

 

We do not have animosity, anger, or anything else towards you.

 

We just care enough about our fellow human beings to want them to live and to not take their own lives when they still have so much more living to do.

[AnyaNova]

Bycs,

 

I do want to compliment you on one thing.

 

You are here fighting us on our approach to trying to help you. This tells me, that even if you perhaps are fighting against the wrong people (you know, people who are trying to help you) that you have a fighting spirit.

 

Hold on to this fighting spirit and try the TLC program, it has been demonstrated through much research to be highly effective. Hold on to that fighting spirit and make sure that you're vitamins and electrolytes and thyroid are where your body need them to be (not what some chart range says that they should be--p.s.-my dad having had a pituitary tumor has found out through years or endocrinology appointments with a licensed endocrinologist, that he needs very high levels of magnesium and sodium to properly function, very near the borderline into too high, I am not just some new age hippie throwing smoke here). Hold onto that fighting spirit to fight for your life and future happiness, because they are very real and very attainable if you will fight.

 

 

 

 

[LostConfused123]

Hey everyone

 

I have been texting with BYCS. She gave me permission to tell you all that.

 

I explained to her that I couldn't stand the fact of everyone here that obviously cares a great deal for her and understands her pain to continue to worry.

 

Thanks everyone!!

[pickflicker]

For the last time, please, this is not about my breakup!!! Please listen and read. If you aren't going to help me, then don't.

 

I'm not here to manipulate anyone. I'm a writer, I edit and edit every post because I'm a perfectionist. Knock it off, it's not like no one else does that. cheese n rice.

 

sleep well tonight, at least someone is.

 

Oh...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/422125-either-way-i-win-2.html#post5188472

 

I'm just going to leave this here.

Edited January 7, 2014 by pickflicker

[Elias33]

I don't know why you bother me so much, but I'm done letting you bully me. I would never treat someone like you have, that's rude and the fact you feel no remorse is ruthless. Yes, others have helped me, but not you. Please just leave me alone.

 

Maybe you all should read, "the noonday demon". It might help you with understanding someone who is depressed. It's hard for you all to understand what I'm going through if you haven't experienced it yourself. I don't blame you for not knowing. Just don't try to solve me, don't push someone down who is already weak. Good people don't do that, even behind a computer screen when their face is hidden. I pray for you while I pray for myself to find the strength to stay here.

 

Do some research on this touchy subject before you criticize someone as an overgrown toddler.

 

You don't sound weak at all. You sound angry.

[AnyaNova]

You don't sound weak at all. You sound angry.

 

This is a good thing.

 

Anger is essentially the response to thwarted needs, wants, and desires.

 

Essentially, even though it can become destructive e if acted on improperly, it is a life drive, not a death drive.

Edited January 7, 2014 by AnyaNova

[LostConfused123]

She hasn't answered my texts this morning.

A little unusual. She usually answers right away.

 

I told her to answer me just so I know she's okay.

Nothing.

 

Trying not to let my mind race and assume the worst.

 

Hoping she's really busy or something.

 

I asked her if she wanted to talk (instead of text) she didn't seem to want to.

Maybe I should have insisted we TALK.

[LostConfused123]

This was last night I asked her if she wanted to talk.

 

I assumed maybe she was emotionally exhausted or something and needed to rest. Didn't really want to keep bugging her.

 

Maybe I should have.

[Zahara]

I really think she needs help and she needs to find it from finding the support from her family. Someone in real life has to intervene. They need to get involved in helping her through this. LS is not going to do that for her. This is way beyond a support forum.

 

For a few of us that have caught on, we know she is youngnlove89. The same person that created a different ID after she exhausted herself under youngnlove89. Then she started posting again under a different ID (I could not find the threads on LS) and the same patterns began -- her posts repeated itself and she lashed out when she wasn't getting the support she needed. In the same tone and style, she expressed suicide, just as she did as YNL. Her argument was it has never been about the ex or the breakup. Writings always poetic, dramatic and almost always lashing out at those that challenged her.

 

Now she is here as BYCS. Under all three monikers her stories have been different each time but the pattern is the same. Guy(s) is/are non-committal. The outcome has been the same. Soon enough she speaks of suicide and when people do not coddle her, she gets angry and lashes out. Then she disappears.

 

If you know her well enough, I would suggest you try to help her find support through her family and friends. Nothing good has come from her postings on LS, whether as YNL, the second moniker (I forget the name) or as BYCS. She needs professional help.

Edited January 7, 2014 by Zahara

[LostConfused123]

I really think she needs help and she needs to find it from finding the support from her family. Someone in real life has to intervene. They need to get involved in helping her through this. LS is not going to do that for her. This is way beyond a support forum.

 

For a few of us that have caught on, we know she is youngnlove89. The same person that created a different ID after she exhausted herself under youngnlove89. Then she started posting again under a different ID (I could not find the threads on LS) and the same patterns began -- her posts repeated itself and she lashed out when she wasn't getting the support she needed. In the same tone and style, she expressed suicide, just as she did as YNL. Her argument was it has never been about the ex or the breakup. Writings always poetic, dramatic and almost always lashing out at those that challenged her.

 

Now she is here as BYCS. Under all three monikers her stories have been different each time but the pattern is the same. Guy(s) is/are non-committal. The outcome has been the same. Soon enough she speaks of suicide and when people do not coddle her, she gets angry and lashes out. Then she disappears.

 

If you know her well enough, I would suggest you try to help her find support through her family and friends. Nothing good has come from her postings on LS, whether as YNL, the second moniker (I forget the name) or as BYCS. She needs professional help.

I don't know her really well. Just from here mostly.

 

We have been texting for about a month. She was having a particularly rough day and I told her to text or call and it basically started from there. Texting every couple of days just to give each other support and that kind of thing. I didn't mind because it helped me cope as well.

 

But yeah, don't know her family or friends or anything.

 

I wish I would have been more insistent that she talk to someone. A family member, friend, doctor, whatever.

 

I'm not familiar with Younglove89. That must have been before I joined but I have seen several posts about that it may be her. I honestly have no idea.

 

I guess all I can do is wait and see if she texts back. I wish I would have thought to ask of another number for her. Never really crossed my mind though.

[Zahara]

There's only so much you can do. It was nice of you to be there to support her and you should not feel burdened or guilty if you couldn't extend more than you think you should have. You did what you could.

 

And this is why I say it is selfish of someone to spout suicide and then disappear. It's one thing to alienate a forum and she is perfectly valid in doing it if she wants to but another to ignore someone that is in communication with her outside of LS. It causes worry, panic, helplesness and guilt. Especially when you have no way of reaching out in person.

 

You and BYCS have the same join date so you may have missed her posting under YNL.

Edited January 7, 2014 by Zahara

[KatZee]

The progression is:

 

Youngnlove89

Alwayscoffee

BlessYourCottonSocks

 

I'm not sure I understand the comment about stories changing, I think the story has always been very consistent and it's why I'm always able to pick her out so fast even with name changes.

 

I made a statement in another thread about how she needed to check herself into an inpatient facility and someone challenged me. Whoever that person was I hope you are seeing what's going on and realize how serious of a situation this is.

 

She made a statement in one of her posts that she was calling out for help. I do have ways toereach her family members but I'm on the fence about doing anything about it. On one hand it sends serious on the other this stunt had been played out dozens of times. lost and confused you seem to be the next "treesalmon." he was ynl89's sound board for months and months and despite all help, texting, phone calls and advice it is stl going on. he does not wish to be part of this anymore because of how draining it is to try to help someone when they won't help themselves. don't start acting like she's your responsibility.

[Zahara]

I'm not sure I understand the comment about stories changing, I think the story has always been very consistent and it's why I'm always able to pick her out so fast even with name changes..

 

Stories changing in terms of content when starting a thread under each moniker i.e. situations with the guy she is with/was with but as I mentioned, the consistent is that the guy is always non-committal. But yes, it's the same patterns, tone, style of writing, responses, etc.

[AnyaNova]

There's only so much you can do. It was nice of you to be there to support her and you should not feel burdened or guilty if you couldn't extend more than you think you should have. You did what you could.

 

And this is why I say it is selfish of someone to spout suicide and then disappear. It's one thing to alienate a forum and she is perfectly valid in doing it if she wants to but another to ignore someone that is in communication with her outside of LS. It causes worry, panic, helplesness and guilt. Especially when you have no way of reaching out in person.

 

You and BYCS have the same join date so you may have missed her posting under YNL.

 

Seconded. Great post.