OMG I feel like such an OLD schmuck

[SYLLPalmer]

I am old fashioned and while I appreciate the facilitation aspects of OLD I am hurting due to my own naivety. I walked into a dangerous venue without knowing the rules. What is the best site or mode of self representation to avoid interludes with serial sexters, one shot sex dates and **** buddies?

 

I got caught in a sticky situation and found myself regressing from the assertive strong women that I am into a pleasing teeny bopper under peer pressure and manipulation. Don't ask me how. It is humiliating enough and I just want to move on. All I have to say is thank my lucky stars for Aunt Flo.

 

What are the sites if any to steer clear of? Are there any sites that are better for my interest which is: the natural progression to intimacy and pancakes on Sundays for a min of 2 years

 

I am a 42 year old chick with a masters degree. I am fit, cute and funny. Don't have kids but don't mind if he does. I don't really drink much cuz I always get a hangover and I am silly but not nuts.

 

I can take it straight from those that want what I don't but I would appreciate your kindness and not another slap in the face. I get that I ****ed myself. Like I said looking for words on moving forward.

[Weezy1973]

Generally pay sites yield better results than free sites. Also follow the adage that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

[rosedl]

Are you talking dating sites?

 

All of them have that possibility. E-harmony is probably the best for people seeking serious relationships, it is expensive though.

 

Okcupid is not bad, if you read the profiles and engage in some email and phone dialogue to get a sense of the person.

 

Plenty of Fish is a meat market. Match is a real mixed bag as well.

 

Meet up groups exploring interests with other people without the dating pressure may be a good choice.

 

We have all done stupid things we regret. Don't beat up on yourself.

[SYLLPalmer]

Rosedl: Thank you my friend.

Edited January 5, 2014 by SYLLPalmer
addressing Rosedl

[SYLLPalmer]

Are you talking dating sites?

 

All of them have that possibility. E-harmony is probably the best for people seeking serious relationships, it is expensive though.

 

Okcupid is not bad, if you read the profiles and engage in some email and phone dialogue to get a sense of the person.

 

Plenty of Fish is a meat market. Match is a real mixed bag as well.

 

Meet up groups exploring interests with other people without the dating pressure may be a good choice.

 

We have all done stupid things we regret. Don't beat up on yourself.

 

Double post cuz forgot to quote. Thank you for your kind words. And POF ugh! sigh Will keep on trying. Get off the POF. xoxox

[SYLLPalmer]

What exactly happened? This is all very obscure. You sound like a catch.

 

LMAO. Sorry girl in pain and shame = obscure. Thanks for the compliment. I needed it.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Double post cuz forgot to quote. Thank you for your kind words. And POF ugh! sigh Will keep on trying. Get off the POF. xoxox

 

I found the love of my life on POF, although I am STILL surprised to this day. He's the most amazing man I have ever been with. I tried OkCupid and really liked the setup. Never tried any of the pay sites. Men are Men are Men. It's not the sites, you just have to get your feet wet enough to be able to decipher the scumbags from those worthy of your time. All of it is really just a learning curve. I was on 8 months and went on 14 dates before I found my guy, but I knew he was it very early on. I'm 37, and like you, I have always been a strong alpha female, MBA grad, great career, and yet when I went on these dates, I was like an insecure school girl again.

 

Just chalk this up as a learning experience and move on.

[SYLLPalmer]

Generally pay sites yield better results than free sites. Also follow the adage that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

 

That's the thing I am going for the real guys. Not glamor boys or rich dudes or any of that shallow stuff. Just a fuzzy fun guy who can make me giggle and get the butterflies.

 

I look past the otherwise unsavory things that would have plagued me in my youth like: strange gait, ramrodding the bartender, minivan etc. I look for the beauty. But I guess in my nobility this chap pulled a fast one on me. I think he thought I was up for it. Cyber space is disorienting for me.

 

I really appreciate this site and you guys. Thanks. I am feeling better already.

[SYLLPalmer]

I found the love of my life on POF, although I am STILL surprised to this day. He's the most amazing man I have ever been with. I tried OkCupid and really liked the setup. Never tried any of the pay sites. Men are Men are Men. It's not the sites, you just have to get your feet wet enough to be able to decipher the scumbags from those worthy of your time. All of it is really just a learning curve. I was on 8 months and went on 14 dates before I found my guy, but I knew he was it very early on. I'm 37, and like you, I have always been a strong alpha female, MBA grad, great career, and yet when I went on these dates, I was like an insecure school girl again.

 

Just chalk this up as a learning experience and move on.

 

I couldn't have asked for more. Thank you.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Something else that helped me. I would go on a series of dates (mostly bad), and then just take a break from it for a few weeks to reassess. Gives you time to regroup and let some of the negative experiences pass and start fresh again. I had been on a 2 month hiatus when I met my guy.

 

I would also get input from a small select group of friends (guys and girls) on the guys I was interested in. Maybe they would see a red flag I didn't.

 

Like you, I wasn't looking for Mr. Wealthy or Mr. Beautiful. Just a normal, genuine guy who at least had his head on straight and I felt attracted to both physically and intellectually. They are out there, even on POF. It just takes some time and patience. I agree that you sound like a real catch and I'm sure you'll find him eventually. Good Luck!

[SYLLPalmer]

Hey I like the OkCupid set up thanks for the tip.

[Targetlock]

It can be difficult for us guys too used to getting ignored most of the time and my messages unread, very rarely get a message first. the 'meet me' feature can be annoying, a person is interested in meeting me? i message them and never get a response

Actually trying for the real deal and nothing casual, actually trying to be genuine and no interest.

what am i missing?

[SYLLPalmer]

Something else that helped me. I would go on a series of dates (mostly bad), and then just take a break from it for a few weeks to reassess. Gives you time to regroup and let some of the negative experiences pass and start fresh again. I had been on a 2 month hiatus when I met my guy.

 

I would also get input from a small select group of friends (guys and girls) on the guys I was interested in. Maybe they would see a red flag I didn't.

 

Like you, I wasn't looking for Mr. Wealthy or Mr. Beautiful. Just a normal, genuine guy who at least had his head on straight and I felt attracted to both physically and intellectually. They are out there, even on POF. It just takes some time and patience. I agree that you sound like a real catch and I'm sure you'll find him eventually. Good Luck!

 

Marilyn suites you. You are a star!

[SYLLPalmer]

It can be difficult for us guys too used to getting ignored most of the time and my messages unread, very rarely get a message first. the 'meet me' feature can be annoying, a person is interested in meeting me? i message them and never get a response

Actually trying for the real deal and nothing casual, actually trying to be genuine and no interest.

what am i missing?

 

Yes this is good. I had no idea what the wants to meet you thing meant. I blow it off for that reason. What am I supposed to do?

 

There are a lot of gold digging biatches out there so don't take it to heart if they don't write back BUT whatever you do stay away from the one line cut and paste. You have to woo her. And you can. We naturally resist you but will break if you make us laugh.

 

When I was in my 30s I didn't know how to present myself because I was still uncomfortable in my own skin. Now the words seem to flow and I know where I am at. Plus the whole girl thing.

 

Another thing I would add is that I am afraid to message men because it trumps the natural progression. I wouldn't want to scare a gem off. Men, thoughts? Women who beg to differ?

[SYLLPalmer]

It can be difficult for us guys too used to getting ignored most of the time and my messages unread, very rarely get a message first. the 'meet me' feature can be annoying, a person is interested in meeting me? i message them and never get a response

Actually trying for the real deal and nothing casual, actually trying to be genuine and no interest.

what am i missing?

 

Case in point. Same guy a week apart and I will not respond.

 

1. hi i was hoping we could be friends...

2. Hi Beautiful, how bout "MY CHARGERS" WOOHOOO!!!

 

[Targetlock]

I actually would really like if the woman would message me first and it gets so difficult trying to write a good message that gets a response, definitely when i've written so many (almost 100, roughly around 5 conversations so far ) i just have to remind myself that it isn't something wrong with me and my profile, at least i hope it isn't sorry to rant.

[SYLLPalmer]

I actually would really like if the woman would message me first and it gets so difficult trying to write a good message that gets a response, definitely when i've written so many (almost 100, roughly around 5 conversations so far ) i just have to remind myself that it isn't something wrong with me and my profile, at least i hope it isn't sorry to rant.

 

not ranting Why don't you take a break for a couple of weeks and clear your mind. Remember you are in essence selling a product. You have to compete. As always girls are a sucker for a funny guy. Take a shot of yourself doing something ridiculous and caption it to match. The one dude had a rock in his hand and he was inspecting via a gemologist diamond lens. He captions it "yep, definitely a rock." Were it not for that I would have passed him by.

 

Another dude, older than I would normally consider, shows a picture of himself seemingly chewing on something and there is a vase of stargazer lillys in front of him. He captions "dessert was delayed so I went with the flowers." That was it for me. Lovey man and thrilled to have met him.

 

The laugh sets us at ease but it tells us that you are confident and on a primitive level this attracts us. You don't have to keep it up. Just make them laugh once and if you do chances are they will again weather you try to make them or not.

 

Lastly you might not think an idea you have is funny but someone will. Trust.

[Targetlock]

Good idea, just need to find a suitable picture (hmm, i do have a couple of me in fancy dress of me as slash from guns and roses ) and i'm currently on a week off work, so i'm kinda on a break.

[SYLLPalmer]

Good idea, just need to find a suitable picture (hmm, i do have a couple of me in fancy dress of me as slash from guns and roses ) and i'm currently on a week off work, so i'm kinda on a break.

 

Good take more to widen your net. The best one I saw was dude with a tattoo wearing no shirt and fatigues and feeding an infant kitten with a milk dropper. He was 14 years younger than me but I had to respond to that!