Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I recently left my affair partner in the dust. I feel empowered by doing such. I was adamantly stubborn and gave my married affair partner quite a struggle and they were unable to gain any control over me. My ego and self esteem are intact. I really hope those hurting from the negative aspects of their affair gain the courage it takes to dust off their heels and leave the married ap to making the decision of what is most important to them. I believe someone will move mountains for the one they truly love. Has anyone like me left with more self confidence and assurance then when they entered the affair? I hate to read the posts of those who are hurting and hope they stand strong sooner than later. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I recently left my affair partner in the dust. I feel empowered by doing such. I was adamantly stubborn and gave my married affair partner quite a struggle and they were unable to gain any control over me. My ego and self esteem are intact. I really hope those hurting from the negative aspects of their affair gain the courage it takes to dust off their heels and leave the married ap to making the decision of what is most important to them. I believe someone will move mountains for the one they truly love. Has anyone like me left with more self confidence and assurance then when they entered the affair? I hate to read the posts of those who are hurting and hope they stand strong sooner than later. My self-confidence was just fine when I entered the A, very healthy during the A, and still great now that the A has transitioned into a M. Ceding control and having your self-confidence or self-esteem damaged by an A are not obligatory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 My self-confidence was just fine when I entered the A, very healthy during the A, and still great now that the A has transitioned into a M. Ceding control and having your self-confidence or self-esteem damaged by an A are not obligatory. I am very happy for you and wish you the best. Your ap made the rare decision to not treat you with disregard, and made the right decision to end the dysfunction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I am very happy for you and wish you the best. Your ap made the rare decision to not treat you with disregard, and made the right decision to end the dysfunction. "Treating me with disregard" was not his decision to make. That was simply not an option. If he wanted an R with me, respect was a given. No respect, no R. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 "Treating me with disregard" was not his decision to make. That was simply not an option. If he wanted an R with me, respect was a given. No respect, no R. Exactly my point in all my posts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
slider95 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 My self confidence is fine , I pulled the plug on everything yesterday via email and she immediately started calling me , it hurts so bad not to answer that phone . So far today she hasn't called . Here is the email I sent her I love you. We have been through hell and back together , I have gone above and beyond to prove my love for you , even completely went to war with a family member for you . We have been in this for almost a year now . I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON OUR LOVE , LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR! My actions have always backed up my words and you know it, I love you and always will, I have done all I can do and shown all I can show ! But I have to make a decision to let you go. When you are ready ,I will welcome you with open arms and we can be together. But until then ..... I need to let you go . I know I have said this before , but I'm serious . I have shown you I will do whatever it takes to be with you! Until I see that from you . I need to step back. I do love her and she knows it , today sucks Im sad , I miss her 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 It can be a difficult choice and sorry you are hurting. Putting the ball in their court and moving on is the best choice. If you are important enough to them, they will make the decision to be with you and they will hurdle all the obstacles before them in order to do so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 I recently left my affair partner in the dust. I feel empowered by doing such. I was adamantly stubborn and gave my married affair partner quite a struggle and they were unable to gain any control over me. My ego and self esteem are intact. I really hope those hurting from the negative aspects of their affair gain the courage it takes to dust off their heels and leave the married ap to making the decision of what is most important to them. I believe someone will move mountains for the one they truly love. Has anyone like me left with more self confidence and assurance then when they entered the affair? I hate to read the posts of those who are hurting and hope they stand strong sooner than later. How many did you have? Like cocorico, I don't recall being in an affair and a struggle with self esteem being synonymous with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 If someone if treating you with respect, dignity, and in a loving healthy manner then there will be no jolts to the self. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 If someone keeps me a secret, lies to people they are committed to to be with me, and makes me a party to the destruction of a family.....how exactly are they respecting me? And self-esteem aside, what kind of conscience do I have if I'm proud of it..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britain Posted January 5, 2014 Author Share Posted January 5, 2014 If someone keeps me a secret, lies to people they are committed to to be with me, and makes me a party to the destruction of a family.....how exactly are they respecting me? And self-esteem aside, what kind of conscience do I have if I'm proud of it..... True, I believe someone will overcome all barriers to make a person a respected part of their life, if you mean the world to them, but most want to eat cake, and sharing a dignified, respectful and loving relationship is a mute point in most affairs. I felt anger in how how dare this man think less of me to believe I would put up with nothing but the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 True, I believe someone will overcome all barriers to make a person a respected part of their life, if you mean the world to them, but most want to eat cake, and sharing a dignified, respectful and loving relationship is a mute point in most affairs. I felt anger in how how dare this man think less of me to believe I would put up with nothing but the best. Awesome. Good for you! I completely agree and I would feel the same as what you said in the bolded part. Good luck you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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