Trust

[Sunshine]

What I am looking for are some objective opinions on the issue of trust. I recently ended a relationship with my x-husband, we tried to get back together after a 2yr seperation. It first ended because he was unsure of what he wanted, he was lying, keeping things from me and spending all of our $$$. I truly felt he had grown up and wanted a serious commitment. After being together 4-2mo he went out w/friends (girls) whom I had not met and he had no intention of me meeting and kept this from me. It accidentaly slipped out during a discussion we were having. He knew I was uncomfortable with them due to the fact I had not met them but later confided that he really didn't care in the beginning what I felt and this is why he kept it from me. He assured me he did now care and would do anything to make this work, he didn't want to lose me etc...etc... I started to become suspicious after this and found some other "little" lies. It was a mutual seperation due to I could not trust him and he said he could not be with someone who didn't trust him.

 

Would anyone out there trust someone like this. I feel he is selfish and self centered and does not know how to have an honest relationship.

[Tony T]

There doesn't seem to be much to trust here. I don't think anybody could trust this guy.

 

The man is obviously set in his ways and is not able or willing to change. My guess is that he came from a pretty screwed up family. While I wouldn't trust him, I could surely feel very sorry for him...not a basis for any kind of relationship.

 

I find it very strange that you would think he would change. I mean you ended it once with him because he wasn't sure what he wanted, lied to you, kept things from you and spent all your money.

 

Now I really get cut down here because your ex is the kind of dude I tell women to split from and never come back but most people are lots more forgiving than me. I always try to convince people that I am quite forgiving...but people don't change often and why waste time with second chances when they mostly don't work out.

 

This man can never, ever be trusted. But hope springs eternal and you gain a merit badge for hoping and trying.

 

Your second try failed, but you can certainly live with yourself knowing you did try. He doesn't have enough insight to care one way or the other. Very sorry!

[ashesmum]

I'm sorry you wasted your time. The only reason I can think of why he would try and hide "girl" friends is that you might be a jealous woman.I'm not saying this is right though. But for him not caring about what you think is just low. If you're in a relationship, you're as one. You should share everything. You should want to show your friends the person you love. Otherwise there are doubts about why. You can find there are men out there who want a meaningful relationship who want to share everything. I hope you find one.

What I am looking for are some objective opinions on the issue of trust. I recently ended a relationship with my x-husband, we tried to get back together after a 2yr seperation. It first ended because he was unsure of what he wanted, he was lying, keeping things from me and spending all of our $$$. I truly felt he had grown up and wanted a serious commitment. After being together 4-2mo he went out w/friends (girls) whom I had not met and he had no intention of me meeting and kept this from me. It accidentaly slipped out during a discussion we were having. He knew I was uncomfortable with them due to the fact I had not met them but later confided that he really didn't care in the beginning what I felt and this is why he kept it from me. He assured me he did now care and would do anything to make this work, he didn't want to lose me etc...etc... I started to become suspicious after this and found some other "little" lies. It was a mutual seperation due to I could not trust him and he said he could not be with someone who didn't trust him. Would anyone out there trust someone like this. I feel he is selfish and self centered and does not know how to have an honest relationship.