Sukotto Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 I never looked through her email when we were still a couple, it was only after we split that I felt the desire to do it. I guess there is a small part inside you that hopes that they are emailing their friends about how sad they are without you etc. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 I looked thru the ex's mail when I suspected something was up and found she'd posted herself on a dating site and for the last 3 days had been trading messages. She denied it when I called her. She said she wasn't online. The entire time the Instant Messenger chimes were going off. I pointed that out to her and they got suddenly quite. She was seeing someone else the next night. In a previous life I was married and suspected the ex of cheating. So I tapped the phone with a voice activated recorder. I started and argument and stormed out of the house telling her I was going over to his place to confront him (in a less civil tone of course). I drove off, waited around the block for five minutes and went back. I when into the basement got the recorder and took it into the bathroom and listened to her calling him, telling him that I was going to try and trick him, and not to tell me anything. Then I came out and told her that I knew about the call that I listened at the window. She never knew about the recorder, but she gave it up then. Claimed that nothing had happened while we were married, but that it did before we were married. uh huh. She filed for divorce a few weeks later and ended up dating him. I ended up paying the lawyer's fees, but that was cheap. I have nothing to hide from my SO. I expect the same courtesy. Link to post Share on other sites
jadora Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 My ex dumped me because he had things to do before he settled down etc. Find himself and such stuff. I'm being very vague here. Anyway I was broken hearted. So long after he would think that I would do it(a year) I got into his account. I found out that he is still single, i was his last GF. He is travelling alone and feeling a little lonely. He is meeting people but they are all much younger than him and there is alot of drinking going on that he cannot handle. I'm hoping this makes him miss old teetotal as old as he is me. What do you think? The only people he is emailing are his sisters. Unfortunately I had to change his password to get into his account so now if he tries to log in, he will know something is up and will have to change it again to get back in. Realising this made me panic. Panicking made me stupid. This may be chicken feed to many but this is the most criminal thing I have ever done. Well I wiped his files,emails, everything, so that he would think that it was attacked by a virus or that the last internet cafe he was in was dodgey. Selfishly, I also thought it might make him lonely. (when he dumped me he said he enjoyed his own company,and was a loner, but as he had never been alone for very long I was hoping that this was just lack of self-knowledge). He also said that he had little sympathy for me which is probably why I have little sympathy for him at the moment. This is the meanest thing I have ever done. i'm a terrible terrible spiteful person. Link to post Share on other sites
Intel Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I checked my ex girlfriends e-mail and it changed my life for the worse. I honestly wish I never checked it. Just read the thread "Kill Me Now" if you want to know why. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms_Sweetness Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 I HAVE ALWAYS CHECKED!! GLAD THAT I DID. I first began checking emails when I got with my first long-term bf. I didn't find anything about him cheating, but get this I found out that he was a licensed minister!!!!!!! When I confronted him, he denied it (wow what a guy, huh). Well after several months the truth that he acutally is a licensed minister came out, I don't know why he lied about it, he had nothing to be ashamed of except for the fact that he lied about it. After checking my second bf's emails I found that he was meeting other girls. I broke it off because he was busted. The last guy that claimed he wanted to get serious and take our relationship to the next level (engagement) was busted when I found that he claimed to be single and was going out with all types of women. I am glad I checked all three times. I will continue to check. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 A licensed minister? How scandalous. I'm a licensed minister as well, by the way--it only cost me 15 dollars. You can call me Reverend. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I have checked his email a few times. All of which I have told hi mabout and all of which I had permission to do. He can check my mail any time he likes and I can check his any time I like. Except when it is around the others birthday or christmas, then we have to stay away Link to post Share on other sites
Wordguy Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Yeah, I did it. I actually paid some russian hackers to install a keylogger on her dad's computer to get her hotmail and yahoo passwords after we broke up. They send out malicious code disguised as greeting cards to install the keylogger software. It was a bad idea. I ended finding out her german dad was into 'bald' and shaved girls (if you catch my drift). Besides her passwords to everything, I got a log of all the sites visited and screen shots. I of course found out she was another guy's girlfriend 3 months after we split and this hurt too. We've been apart since June and once in a while I will check her online banking account to see where she's been spending her money. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I hope you're arrested. Link to post Share on other sites
davecity Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 i don't understand anybodies actions when they check their bf/gf email. I know there comes of level of trust that you can build with someone, especially when you love someone and you feel like you don't need to keep secrets much less a password to your email account. But the truth of the matter is, I would never give my password to my girlfriend or want her password to hers. If you truly are in a loving and caring relationship and you trust your partner then that should be the end of it. The fact that you are willing to deceitfully check your ex-bf/gf's email account is sickening and highly immature. I am disgusted. dave Link to post Share on other sites
jadora Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Even thought I felt bad about getting into my exbf's account I'm still going to do it. Knowledge is power and I want him back. He left me as a knee jerk reaction to stresses outside her relationship and I have always believed this. After 10 months of grieving I was very down last weekend and hacked into his account. There I found a copy of a letter he sent to a male friend telling him how great I was and how happy he was. It gave me some relief to know I hadn't imagined his feelings. He has not dated anyone since and all his correspondence is to friends and relations that I know. It may be wrong but he hurt me far much than I could ever hurt him. He threw away a lovely relationship because he was stressed about his job and exams. I think I will keep tabs on him now. I'm no professional hacker so I think its fate that i got in. Link to post Share on other sites
danigirl Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 My ex and I broke up in September after I discovered an alias name he was using i his aol account. I was unemployed for a few months and used his aol account to search for jobs online with his permission. One day I discovered an email sent from this alias account he was using with aphone # in it. I checked the alias account knowing he had to have used the same password. What I found was heart wrenching. He was having online sex with some random chick. I gave him every opportunity to tell me the truth or explain to me if it was a form of pornography but he continued to lie so I had to print it out for him. He was devastated that I knew. We're ar ein contact but the idiot never changed his password. What I know won't hurt me but I can't seem to stop the addiction of checking his emails now four months after our horrible breakup. He is a frequent visitor on match.coma dn I know who he dates and even how things went reading the correspondence. I haven't the willpower to stop now and I'm desperate for advice onhow to go about stopping. HELP! I obviously can't tell him I just find it sooo difficult to stop. It's hard to stop cold turkey. I wish he changed it... Link to post Share on other sites
Wordguy Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Tell me about it. The only way to get over it is to do something to the account that might make him suspect that someone has access to it (ie. write one of his dates telling them to get lost). Or you can just continue on snooping until he eventually changes it.... Link to post Share on other sites
BeachBummer Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by davecity I know there comes of level of trust that you can build with someone, especially when you love someone and you feel like you don't need to keep secrets much less a password to your email account. But the truth of the matter is, I would never give my password to my girlfriend or want her password to hers. dave I'm with Dave on this one. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to keep certain things private in a relationship, especially communications. Maybe it comes from people using the same computer and just saving the passwords? If you make the effort to secure your stuff your partner might question you on it, but just tell them you have private conversations that you prefer they not read. You wouldn't want them listening on your phone calls, why your e-mail? I was surprised the first time I found that people do this - sent my brother some naked girl pics and his wife got pissed at me when she saw them! Link to post Share on other sites
Just Visiting Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by danigirl My ex and I broke up in September after I discovered an alias name he was using i his aol account. I was unemployed for a few months and used his aol account to search for jobs online with his permission. One day I discovered an email sent from this alias account he was using with aphone # in it. I checked the alias account knowing he had to have used the same password. What I found was heart wrenching. He was having online sex with some random chick. I gave him every opportunity to tell me the truth or explain to me if it was a form of pornography but he continued to lie so I had to print it out for him. He was devastated that I knew. We're ar ein contact but the idiot never changed his password. What I know won't hurt me but I can't seem to stop the addiction of checking his emails now four months after our horrible breakup. He is a frequent visitor on match.coma dn I know who he dates and even how things went reading the correspondence. I haven't the willpower to stop now and I'm desperate for advice onhow to go about stopping. HELP! I obviously can't tell him I just find it sooo difficult to stop. It's hard to stop cold turkey. I wish he changed it... Tell me about it! My last two exes weren't too faithful to me (even though they claimed to be). My last ex would jump online after I went to bed and would chat up different girls. I suspected something was up and found out his password through a keylogger. From there, I read chats on how he is single and interested in meeting other girls. I also found an online greeting card from one of the girls he was chatting with. It was a flirtatious one. My heart dropped and my body was shaking. I confronted him on the information. He stopped going into chatrooms after that. I thought things would be fine after that. Not even a month later, he picked up and left saying he wanted to go on a roadtrip with some friends. Having access to his email password, I was able to find out that he was trying to get back with an ex of his. They eventually did and never had the guts to talk to me beforehand. He broke my heart and I dumped him right then and there. I am accepting the fact that I have a difficult time fully trusting men. I am in a relationship with a great guy. Previously, he was in a common-law relationship and they share a five year old son. He has repeatedly told me that there is no way he would reconcile with her. He knows that I am worried about that, due to my previous experiences. To be honest, I am very scared that he secretly wishes her back and I go through his computer files and chats to seek any type of evidence. I haven't seen anything to indicate this. I did find a letter to his ex before we got together. He wanted to reconcile but knew that she didn't, and that he still loved her. It hurt to read it, but I have to remind myself that this was before we discovered each other. Since we got together, we realize that we complement each other sooo well. Like you, it is sooo difficult to stop checking. It's something I am not proud of. I am seriously considering counselling to learn to trust again. It is easier said than done. I just don't want to be played a fool again. We happened to talk about cheating. I said that if he ever did, I would never forgive him. He replied that he has been cheated on before, and he knows what it feels like, so he would never do that to me. Link to post Share on other sites
jadora Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 I know my current had been online looking for dates because I met him that way. I have another alias on the same site and he has contacted it. As for my ex whose account I access. I found in it a draft email telling a friend how much he liked me etc. It was almost a year old. I added a phrase or two to make it more complimentary towards me and sent it to the friend who returned it to my ex bewildered. This forced my ex to read it. Within a week he sent me an email apologising for not being in contact for 3 months. WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF ALL THAT. moral If love is war then intelligence is vital. Link to post Share on other sites
Freja Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Hacking into someone else's e-mail account? Good idea! Can anyone of you help me? I suspected that he's cheating on me and would like to know how to have an access to his e-mail account, etc. We are not sharing a computer though. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I've never really thought about looking into my current boyfriend's email account. Couldn't be bothered. One day I was reading another post that was similar to this the same time my boyfriend was on the net and I was saying to him "have anything you're hiding?' just as a joke. He logged in and ended up actually showing me. Nothing interesting or suspicous in there at all which is a good. . Link to post Share on other sites
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