Are some people just not built to have friends/relationships?

[Heatemyheart89]

Hello

I am 24 and I am really evaluating my life at the moment. At school I was a relative loner/ considered a geek. College I was fairly popular and uni I did have friends. However I never seem to keep these friendships.

 

 

After uni I have been hanging with a group of people I met through another friend. However 3 people including the original girl I was friends with have said they cannot stand me I am too much of a negative person. This really baffles the hell out of me as I am the one who is always saying 'oh think positive you will be okay etc' . I always pay my way help them out, I always stick to plans, I do what they want to do. One of the girls who didn't like me fell out with me when she said how much prettier some girls were than us (!) and I replied that 'I don't think it should matter what people look like, looks aren't the only reason to get into a relationship that is extremely shallow'.

 

 

This has really made me doubt myself. In my head I am a good friend. I really care about people and I am training to be a counsellor. I am not perfect, but not horrible. I seem to attract friends but not keep them. I am pretty gutted with this and feel at the end of my tether with this. I feel I am losing grip on reality. It is so hard for me to try and fit it when I really don't believe in a lot people in general due to bad experiences.

 

 

Should I give up on friends and just accept that this is the way I am? All replies appreciated

[mtnbiker3000]

Maybe you just haven't met people who are worthy of a strong friendship yet. Have you tried 'meet ups' with people who share similar interests? This is a good way to make friends.

 

Also, sounds like you have some walls up. This will always make it harder to build strong relationships. Learn to let go of past BS...

[SpiralOut]

One of the girls who didn't like me fell out with me when she said how much prettier some girls were than us (!) and I replied that 'I don't think it should matter what people look like, looks aren't the only reason to get into a relationship that is extremely shallow'

 

 

This would have been a positive thing to say if you had left out the "that is extremely shallow" part. I think this girl was down on herself already, which made her sensitive to criticism. She was voicing her insecurities, not being shallow. Maybe find friends who have thicker skins, and/or learn to soften your responses to those who are sensitive.

Edited January 6, 2014 by SpiralOut