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Who Was Wrong


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I've been with this guy for on and off for almost a year. {in 8days it will be a year} At one point, we were off for like 3 months, that was the longest we ever been apart, and while we were off I knew I still loved him and I still wanted to be with him but he refused to speak to me, he stopped calling me and there were plenty of times I would say hi to him and he would just ignore me like I want there. I figured it was really over for good, so I went off and slept with some one else. About a week after i slept with that person he comes back to me crying talking about he wants me back. I was mad at him so I told him I didn't want to talk about it at that time and he refused to leave me alone so I got upset and told him I didn't want to be with him along with some other hurtful things. Well he found out that I slept with this guy and he believes that I cheated on him, but we weren't together. In his mind I guess we were, he says it doesn't matter I knew we was gonna get back together anyway I should have never slept with the guy. Now karma kicks in because I'm telling him I want him back and he talks to me as though he does too but he's telling me no he will never be with me again because I slept with the guy and what makes it worst is the fact that he hate the guy that I slept with, with a passion. and its not because I slept with him but thats just fuel in the fire. But he's confusing me because he still tells me he loves me and we can do things like were still in a relationship except have sex. I want to be back in a relationship I don't think I should be penalized for some thing I did when we weren't together especially after what he did. I've been trying to convince him of that. Can some one help me on how I can fix this problem?

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You probably should not continue seeing him.

 

I know I wouldn't. I think you should have told him that you two were through before sleeping with a guy. But past is past.

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I did tell him it was over we both knew it was over but he just wasn't taking me serious.

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Well if he spent three months ignoring you and not even looking at you when he walked past you then he has no right to be mad about anything you did during that time. Tell him "hey this happened while we weren't together, you need to get over it" If he can't then I guess there's nothing you can do. But don't feel bad since its his fault for being wishy-washy in the first place.

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I agree he cannot be mad in the sense of feeling cheated on or subject her to abuse. They broke up and she was not betraying him.

 

However, I sympathize with him that if the two of them had such a sigfiicant relationship or clearly were meant to be together, it obviously does not give him great confidence about the amount of affection, desire, etc., she had for him. Since he's at liberty now to decide whether he wants to be with her, I don't blame him for factoring this in.

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