aaronb87 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I been engaged to my fiancee for nearly three years and times are changing. She just got a job as a courtesy clerk at a supermarket. I am happy she has a job but at the same time I am frustrated that I don't have a job that is stable. I always complain that I don't have a job or have the things others have. I been fighting this envy for a long time. I regretted by putting her down that I dont have a job and angry she has one before me. I really don't want to lose her due to my envy, I love her too much. I am very proud of her that she has a job but it's so hard to feel happy 100% when I don't have a stable job. Did I destroy my relationship to her because my envy consumed me? What can I do to keep her in my life? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 You can channel your energy into finding stable employment for yourself. Complaining that someone else has something does nothing but waste your time and takes your focus off of your own goal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Why don't you have a job? What are you doing to find one? Being out of work can be frustrating but this is something you should be able to fix. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aaronb87 Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 I have been working by myself for five doing freelancing computer repairs. that has declined so much due to changes in computers. I needing a stable job because my fiancee and i have been engaged for three years and have done little to prepare. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I think that rather than focusing on how envious you are of your fiancee for her success, it might be more useful to focus on bettering yourself instead. That is what your central anxiety is, right? It's on you and your unhappiness with your current employment situation. Redouble your efforts. Put out more applications. Every day, do something in the interest of improving your situation. Even if that thing is merely tweaking your resume. Do something to better yourself every day. Focus on you, not on her job. You have control over your situation... not over your feelings of envy. So try not to dwell on them too much. Good luck out there... it's tough in general. I'm also looking for a new job, so I can relate to your frustrations. Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I been engaged to my fiancee for nearly three years and times are changing. She just got a job as a courtesy clerk at a supermarket. I am happy she has a job but at the same time I am frustrated that I don't have a job that is stable. I always complain that I don't have a job or have the things others have. I been fighting this envy for a long time. I regretted by putting her down that I dont have a job and angry she has one before me. I really don't want to lose her due to my envy, I love her too much. I am very proud of her that she has a job but it's so hard to feel happy 100% when I don't have a stable job. Did I destroy my relationship to her because my envy consumed me? What can I do to keep her in my life? You didn't destroy it, but things are getting off to a bad start. I don't mean to be harsh, but it's pretty ridiculous for you to get worked up over the fact that she has a menial job. I think that rather than criticizing her for having a job, maybe the solution is for you to get a job yourself. She could easily take you to task for not being employed, yet she showed enough class not to. What do you think about that? Link to post Share on other sites
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