Had enough.

[Mrsdickinson]

I feel like I want to end it. I'm so mentally exhausted from my "darling" husband.

 

I have postnatal depression, some days I just sleep all day, and don't do much. Them times are hopefully behind me. I have been on a diet for two weeks, and my energy levels have picked right up. Today I hit my stone loss, I got a "well done." On Facebook form dh.

 

So today I have cleaned none stop. Even painted the bathroom. Plus looked after are children. To some this isn't much, to me I was super proud and happy.

 

I had dinner cooking for when dh got home, like I do every single night.

 

Was I in the wrong for wanting some appreciation? For a thank you at least. Apparently so. It kicked off with him telling me how useless I am, I'm pathetic, and I'm no good. Why the hell should I get a thank you or something when it's my "job".

 

He threw his phone at the wall. An expensive phone. All because I wanted some appreciation.

 

 

This isn't the first time, it's about 1000th time.

 

I cook, clean, wash his clothes, do everything in the house, he does NOTHING.

 

Over Xmas, he didn't do a thing while off work, because... He's doing what I do.

 

For Xmas he asked me what I wanted for Xmas. I sent him the link to a £15 make up box. He didn't get it me, instead he got me nothing. I brought him quiet abit that he asked for. Reason why I got nothing, even nothing off my children was because he brought me an expensive gift the year before.

 

 

My birthday in July. He didn't get me anything not even a card. He didn't wish me happy birthday, and refused to help the kids write my card until 9pm, because he wanted to punish me "for my attitude".

 

He's broke so many of my things. Or cut it up. Because he brought it, and I don't deserve it.

 

Everyone thinks he's amazing, my sister n dad love him. And I'm the wrong one.

 

I don't know what to do anymore.

[DaisyLeigh1967]

Have you told them what he does?

 

First of all, you are being abused emotionally. He does not get to punish a grown ass woman. He wants to be an ass, well I would not cook for him, do his laundry or anything else.

 

I would seek counseling and the advice of an attorney.

[BehindTheseHazelEyes]

I'm a little confused about why you don't know what to do.

 

 

Reread your post with the perspective that your best friend/sister wrote it. What would your advice be to her?

 

 

I am not sure if you are just venting or you are really wanting advice. Because the writing is on the wall. Are you receiving services/medication to address the PPD?

 

 

People treat us the way we let them. My advice is kick the a$$ out. If you are unable to do that immediately, then start making your exit plan and work toward it. My 1st H sounds a lot like your H. I kicked him to the curb after earning a graduate degree and getting my youngest out of diapers. You don't deserve what he's dishing out.

 

 

Take back your life. You can and must do it.

[divinegrace]

Often abusive men are seen as pillars of the community in the eyes of others. It isn't about what they see, it is about what you feel.

 

Postpartum depression is very real and extremely difficult. It may be hard for him to grasp how hard it is for you, but I do hope you have a good doctor and are able to communicate with her/him.

 

You talked a lot about stuff he did or didn't give you. It sounds like these are important to you because they symbolize love, but in reality it is is TREATMENT of you that is the primary concern. You can buy yourself things.

 

You know you are in an abusive situation. The question becomes - how do you safely make an exit -- and are you ready. My suggestion is this - if you feel safe enough to be there for now, start a PLAN. Squirrel away some money bit by bit, be sure you have important documents kept in one place (birth certificates, passports, etc) to take in the need of a quick exit, and start to let your family in on your plan. Go to those you trust and ask for their support in your decision to leave when it is time.

 

He doesn't sound like someone who can be 'kicked out', so you need to do what you can to protect yourself and your child(ren). Prepare to leave.

 

I know there is not a whole picture here, but I'm sensing this abuse is not new, and it is escalating.

 

Be safe. Take care.