Nasty email from Ex - NC 2 Months.

[David87]

i do get what you are saying.. I think that type of mindset is when we 100% healed. For now, i draw some strength from been awesome! lol

 

 

Lol:) good for you julzfromsa.

[julzfromsa]

hey guys

 

You know when they say it is a up and down roller-coaster. Well, it truly is. The relationship i had with the Ex was a emotionally filled one. There was always drama in her life, and thus there was always emotion in mine. I was always had this hectic internal energy because of the drama she caused and now that we are over, i no longer have that. Im not saying it was good energy, but it was energy non the less and it filled me. Now all i have is time, and because i do not have this chaos in my life anymore, i feel rather empty and alone.

 

These last few days have not been great. I still feel a longing inside for her. Im beggining to miss her deeply. I was doing fine a week ago, i felt as if i was making progress, but as of late ive been thinking of contacting her. ( i wont though). Sometimes i think, what would i actually say to her if i did speak to her? Would i tell her that i miss her. Would i tell her how surreal my life has become (at times) that she is no longer in it. Perhaps i would like to ask her if the grass really is greener on the other side?

 

Im afraid of the answers and i know i will not contact her. Im just putting down my feeling right now as i feel i need to. Life does not feel amazing right now. I truly miss her and i know she couldn't give a flying. That hurts..

 

After 11 years man, one day it just ended. Absolutely NC since. No back and fourths, no lets try, no nothing. I havnt for a second tried to go back, contact or speak. She has not tried either, except for the rumors and the one nasty email. Its hard to take in that we could be lovers, best friends and partners for 11 years, and then just nothing. DONE!

 

Perhaps im trying to find answers where there are none. Perhaps i just want the old Jamie back? Good days, Bad Days.

 

Today is a bad day.

 

[mantlefan]

I think so much of it comes from thinking about the person we thought they were.

 

 

I will be seeing my ex at a business meeting soon. I doubt she is going to want to talk to me, but we haven't talked since I found out she dumped me for my friend, so maybe she will really want to apologize. I don't know.

 

I don't know what to say to her either. Just cut her off and say that we have nothing to talk about because only one of us tells the truth? Just say "It's best if we don't talk?" Lie to her and tell her it's OK what she did and I totally forgive her and I just want her to be happy? (well the 3rd part of that is sort of true)

 

 

But really, I think it's best if we keep avoiding talking to our exes. I kind of have to sometimes for work reasons, but I try to not even really look at her.

[Still-I-Rise]

hey guys

 

You know when they say it is a up and down roller-coaster. Well, it truly is. The relationship i had with the Ex was a emotionally filled one. There was always drama in her life, and thus there was always emotion in mine. I was always had this hectic internal energy because of the drama she caused and now that we are over, i no longer have that. Im not saying it was good energy, but it was energy non the less and it filled me. Now all i have is time, and because i do not have this chaos in my life anymore, i feel rather empty and alone.

 

These last few days have not been great. I still feel a longing inside for her. Im beggining to miss her deeply. I was doing fine a week ago, i felt as if i was making progress, but as of late ive been thinking of contacting her. ( i wont though). Sometimes i think, what would i actually say to her if i did speak to her? Would i tell her that i miss her. Would i tell her how surreal my life has become (at times) that she is no longer in it. Perhaps i would like to ask her if the grass really is greener on the other side?

 

Im afraid of the answers and i know i will not contact her. Im just putting down my feeling right now as i feel i need to. Life does not feel amazing right now. I truly miss her and i know she couldn't give a flying. That hurts..

 

After 11 years man, one day it just ended. Absolutely NC since. No back and fourths, no lets try, no nothing. I havnt for a second tried to go back, contact or speak. She has not tried either, except for the rumors and the one nasty email. Its hard to take in that we could be lovers, best friends and partners for 11 years, and then just nothing. DONE!

 

Perhaps im trying to find answers where there are none. Perhaps i just want the old Jamie back? Good days, Bad Days.

 

Today is a bad day.

 

 

I am sorry you are having a bad day.

 

Sometimes I read the posts on this site and tears well in my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

 

The stories aren't always unique but some seem to convey the pain and heartfelt disbelief so poignantly.

 

I've been there where you are and sometimes it seems I am going round and round the mulberry bush.

 

Those days suck but I understand them because human emotion and attachment aren't generally switched on and off like a light switch.

 

Acceptance of a loss takes time.

 

Eleven years is a long time to have shared your life with someone. So you've likely got some more rides on the emotional roller coaster before you are back on level ground for good.

 

You hang in there. Keep writing. People are pulling for you and suffering and growing right along side you.

 

I hope your day improves even if only a little.

[BC1980]

I think so much of it comes from thinking about the person we thought they were.

 

I think I have had the most difficulty reconciling who I thought this person was with who he turned out to be. When I think about it, I'm still shocked that he could be so cold with what he did to me. I can't believe he did this to me. I remember when I had gone back to get more of my things from our house, and he was so business like about it. Like his world was moving right along. That hurt like hell, and it was just sickening.

 

Logically, you see them for what they are and what they did, but your heart can't catch up. You still idealize the person and the relationship.

[mantlefan]

I think I have had the most difficulty reconciling who I thought this person was with who he turned out to be. When I think about it, I'm still shocked that he could be so cold with what he did to me. I can't believe he did this to me. I remember when I had gone back to get more of my things from our house, and he was so business like about it. Like his world was moving right along. That hurt like hell, and it was just sickening.

 

Logically, you see them for what they are and what they did, but your heart can't catch up. You still idealize the person and the relationship.

 

It's amazing. My ex cried when she broke up with me after 5 years, but the next day she was cool as a cucumber. I didn't understand how she could be like that. It probably helped she was steeling herself up for it for a few weeks.

[mantlefan]

I think I have had the most difficulty reconciling who I thought this person was with who he turned out to be. When I think about it, I'm still shocked that he could be so cold with what he did to me. I can't believe he did this to me. I remember when I had gone back to get more of my things from our house, and he was so business like about it. Like his world was moving right along. That hurt like hell, and it was just sickening.

 

Logically, you see them for what they are and what they did, but your heart can't catch up. You still idealize the person and the relationship.

 

 

Maybe the thing to say to my ex is "You remind me so much of the woman I love!"

[julzfromsa]

Maybe the thing to say to my ex is "You remind me so much of the woman I love!"

 

That post makes me sad mantle because its true. Even though our minds tell us to move on, our heart needs to catch up. I read this above, and its so true. I trully wish i could just stop loving her because to be honest im not sure why i do. She is selfish, childish, hurtful, malicious and a drama queen.

 

Still, the hearts wants her, and my brain does not.. What a mess. I dont understand it guys. Anyway, I do not know if she has moved on, I do not know if she is fine or not and its for the best.

 

Secretly, sometimes i think i want to know. Secretly, sometimes i do want to contact her, and because of the people in this forum, i draw strength and will not.

 

Thanks guys

[julzfromsa]

* NOTE -JUST FOR INFORMATION - MY STORY*

 

Its long, but i want to consolidate this thread and feel that i need to post my story in here..

 

 

 

 

Hi Everyone

 

This will be my first post, hopefully not my last regarding this matter. I find myself starting a very unfamiliar and strange life at the age of 27. Only way to describe how I am feeling is to compare it with how Alice felt, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Life has lost its colour and I battle to feel motivated about anything right now. Let me tell you why.

 

I met Jamie when I was 16 years old, a year prior to my senior Year in South Africa. She was a best friend of my Cousin, Samantha. We were young, impressionable and excited. I found her to be exquisitely beautiful and fell head over heels almost instantly. We went through the motions and before long we were dating. I had tons of self confidence and had no problems winning her heart over back then. For the next year, the only thing important to me was her. My grades took a back seat and consequentially I ended up with a second rate graduation. Regardless of the poor academic year I had, I was in love and in good spirits. It is necessary to tell you all a little about or characters before we move on.

 

I had always been a confident, emotionally and morally intelligent person, even as I grew up. Girls liked me, and I liked them back even though I may have been a bit shy. I never really had any sort of romantically serious relationship before Jamie, so I found myself in a completely new and exciting space. Anyways, I think I became infatuated by this girl almost instantly. She came from a completely different background. She had a broken home where anything was acceptable. Underage, she ended up taking me to my first club. Well from that point on, I kind of had to grow up really fast in order to match up to her "adult maturity". I ended up giving her my virginity, which was a good experience for me, even though she was not a virgin. This already started to bother me as I realize now the connection I felt with her was not a healthy one. I was jealous and wanted 100% of her to belong to me.

 

Over the next year or so, things started to become serious. I took a year of work and school (gap year) and spent most of my time with her. We were in love and infatuated, going out to clubs, doing things that youths generally do except we did it all together. I started to feel that I was losing my morality and after a while started questioning her behaviour. She likes to smoke Marijuana and cigarettes and engage in rather reckless irresponsible activities with rather dubious people. I soon put a stop to all of this as I could not accept it anymore. Jamie eventually stopped all her nonsense and changed for the better in both my eyes and her parents. She went to school and got a qualification in Beauty Therapy. We were happy for the next year or so. We had our fights but they were just fights and made up soon after. So it had been approximately 3 years after school, we were 21 when she left me for the first time. She needed her space and freedom to explore whilst she was in her 2nd year beauty therapy diploma. I was broken and begged for her back. She wouldn’t have me, and 2 weeks down the road she was involved with an older guy. I was broken, absolutely devastated but managed to look after myself. I got fit, looked after myself and found a girl to console my broken heart for a short time. I didn’t end up sleeping with her because I felt that I was not ready for that. Jamie contacted me 8 weeks down the road and begged for me back, apparently it was the biggest mistake of her life. I took her back because I was desperately in love with her, even though I knew that we were completely different people. I was in my first year of a psychology degree, motivated and driven however the 8 week break up caused me to miss my finals and fail the year. I battled my way through the relationship for the next 6 months as she had been sleeping with this other guy, and numerous others and I was insecure and jealous. She put in all the effort and eventually I found my groove and forgave her. I ended up repeating the semester and passed with distinction while she finished her diploma. We moved in together and stayed at my folks place the remainder of the year.

 

I changed my career choice and decided to study architecture, and did so whilst she worked at a health spa. I would pick her up and drop her off at work while went to varsity. Everything went smoothly for a while till she met somebody at her place of work and had a fling with him. Once again I was devistated and broken. She decided very quickly that it was a mistake and wanted to fight for our relationship. She once again picked up the pieces of my heart and I had to find it in myself to forgive and forget. I believed that I had no choice because I loved her so much. I gave her my entire being, losing everything that I was in the process. The one thing in my life that I held dear was her. It was unhealthy and a huge mistake. I saw her to be this beautiful angel (she is very beautiful) however she is no angel. She was selfish and controlling and never trusted me for a moment - even though in 11 years I had not set eyes on another for not one second. I didn’t want anyone else but her, I truly didn’t. She treated me well while things were fine. We made love and held each other dear. Perhaps because of my nature, we didn’t go out as much as she would’ve liked. She is a very excitable and loud person where I am so much more grounded. I know how to have a good time but not matching her energy, not at all. Our friends believed we were a perfect match because we complimented each others personalities. They did not know of her indiscretion prior as I was too embarrassed to tell them.

 

Now my third year in Architecture school we were still living with my parents, however things did not go well. Jamie became restless and quite frankly so did I and there was a falling out with my parents. Of course I took Jamie’s side and she ended up leaving the house to move into a new flat, she was a working woman now and could do so, however I could not. I was in my third year of varsity and felt that if I could not contribute or pay my own way, then I should not move in with her, so I didn’t but I did spend most of my time there. Things seemed to be better than ever, but Jamie been extremely impressionable was influenced buy her flat mate who was single and a bit of a party goer. We had a bad argument one night and Jamie ended up going out, and kissed some other guy. She told me the truth the next day and was terrified I would leave. Once again, I could never leave over a kiss as now more than ever I loved her more. A deep seated love, almost entirely dependent. Once again my ego was broken; heart was in pieces and did not trust her. She worked hard to gain my trust and I could see an effort been put in from her side so eventually I forgave her but did not forget. She started a new job and I went on to finish my third year with distinction. We moved back in with my parents where things seemed to become comfortable and happy. I went on to my 4th year of studies. She supported me entirely and had not one glitch in our relationship throughout the year. We got engaged and I thought that this was it. She will be my wife forever. She was excited and couldn’t wait to get married but we had to wait till I had finished varsity.

 

I finished varsity top of my class, and I swear to God the only reason why I worked so God Damn hard was because I wanted to look after my wife more than anything. I wanted to support her and give her everything she wanted. She was by now the prize goal and nothing else could get in my way. I landed a top Job at probably the most reputable architectural firm in southern Africa and was feeling great. Just before I started working for this firm, there was another massive falling out at home (with my parents) and Jamie and I moved in together as now I could support myself and save for a wedding and house. Wedding plans were made and venues were paid for. She was excited, I was stressed. I was paying for this wedding and working ridiculous hours, sometimes 42 hours straight. She couldn’t accept this and we had many fights regarding the hours I worked. I kept on telling her, that I’m doing this for our future, for our wedding, not for myself. She never really could uderstand that. I ended u buying all the furniture for which she seemed grateful and excited. I don’t blame her for everything, not at all because the writing was on the wall. I had been so consumed in stress that I didn’t see the signs. We made love maybe 3 times a month but only for the past 6 months. I put the issue down to heavy stress on both sides as we were doing all this on our own. She was still very pleasant to me, and I felt that after 11 years our relationship had developed into something much more. She was my best friend, my lover and soon to be my wife. I was content and I honestly thought so was she.

 

About a month and a half ago, she went to Panama, South America on a Business trip. Donating her eggs to a woman who would pay 4000 US Dollars. I disagreed and said no. Eventually she made up her own mind to do it and left for Panama. I ended up trying to understand and thought that the money would help for the wedding. This was her excuse to do this. I’m not sure if she intended it to be a holiday or what she wanted this to be but it became the straw that broke the camel’s back. She returned a different person completely. Uninterested in wedding plans or house plans. Uninterested in her Job. She was changed, cold and heartless. She ended up meeting a man in Panama, and fell in love with her freedom I suppose. I tried to salvage the situation a week prior to her admitting all of this by going away for a weekend. I knew there was something wrong and desperately wanted to fix whatever the problem was. I just wanted the bad dream to end. The love of my life was changed and deep down I knew why. She just didn’t want me anymore; she just didn’t love me anymore. I was kind, gentle, didn’t push and honourable. She was cold and couldn't hold a conversation with me for more than a minute. The only thing she cared about was her Panama trip and travelling. We ended up making very disconnected love that night which probably hurt me more than anything in the world. I prepared myself for the worst that night as I knew.

 

The trip back home was agonizing and I knew whatever happens, we going to talk about this when we arrive, so I did.

 

She admitted to her cheating on me with a man she had met in 2 days. She told me that she loves me but not in-love with me and she does not want to fight for the relationship at all. I had been honourable, sincere, and honest for 11 years. I had given her my soul, my bank balance, my virginity - absolutely everything. I had supported her through the best and the worst and never not once was I abusive to her. I put her so high up on that pedestal that it was sickening to everyone around me, but I didn't care. I loved her for her faults and didn't want to think of how incompatible we were as a couple. I had finished top of my class in varsity and am extremely driven to succeed. I always understood that hard work was key to everything including relationships. She didn't finish school and is an au-pair at 27 years old who needs to "find herself".

 

It’s been over for nearly a month now and I’m still deeply in-love with this woman. She has sold the engagement ring for money and had no problems asking for more. She is now single and trust me when I say she will be meeting many men who I’m sure she just wants to have "fun" with as it is in her nature. I know it’s not healthy to think of such things so I try not to but it’s so very difficult. I have reconnected with the friends that will have me, and met a girl who is different in many ways and the same in some. The new girl helps as I am not alone and there is some companionship there, but she still isn't the one for me. I know this in my soul. She knows we just friends for now and I just don't see it going further.

 

I find myself at the age of 27, and my life is upside down. I moved back into my parents place for now with hardly any close friends and a broken heart. I was ready to start a family 2 months ago, now I have to get back in the saddle and meet new people of which i am not motivated to do. I have lost my partner and my best friend, and probably the reason why I was breathing for 11 years of my life. I know how unhealthy that is and that that kind of love is wrong, none the less it is how I felt.

 

I don't know what to say from here or what I am going to do. I have never been a quitter so I will not start quitting now. I'm doing all the healthy things I should be doing like training, speaking to friends, going out, been positive etc but the pangs of grief consume me. I have not contacted or spoken to her since the breakup as I know with no uncertainty that it is over and nothing I do or say will bring her back to me. I love her so deeply that I am willing to let her go. I'm just scared of what will happen to me, will I become lonely and ugly? Will someone love me the way I love them. Will I find someone as beautiful as I thought she was?

 

I’m in a mess, and hopefully, faithfully I will continue to live

[David87]

Yesterday was my worst day ever since the bu, I realize how alone I am and how empty is my life right now. It sucks and there is nothing I can do about it.

 

And btw your ex is exactly like my ex and she is living the time of her life right now.

 

People change. Feelings fade. Lovers drift. Friends leave. Friends become enemies. Lovers become strangers. You'll be judged. Life goes on.

[David87]

Read your last post as a different person, you will se that it's a good thing that she dumped you because now you have the chance to find someone to love you the way you loved your ex.

[julzfromsa]

Read your last post as a different person, you will se that it's a good thing that she dumped you because now you have the chance to find someone to love you the way you loved your ex.

 

Thank you for this. Its is true. I deserve to be loved the way i Have loved.

 

She may be having the best time of her life right now, but money comes to an end. (she has none). She is impressionable and lacks a spine (mistakes will be her friend). I have a feeling its not going to be absolutely amazing for her. She isnt the smartest person in the world, by a long shot, and honestly has nothing going for her but her looks and bubbly personality.

 

I know she has someone, or many someone's but they not as good as i was. Either way, the relationship is over and it really doesnt matter. Nothing should be about her anymore, it should be about me.

 

I say this now because im feeling a bit better.. When im down I feel different thing. Atleast i know rationally what i should feel.

 

Best

[Chi townD]

Dude! You really need to take inventory on what you have going on. You have a degree in Architecture. I believe you're working in a firm in South Africa? You're working out, staying in shape. You're living situation is being sorted out and you're getting back on your feet.

 

You have friends that will help you out and tell you to beat it when she's about to ambush you with 5 of her friends, to PROTECT YOU. And finish the work by himself. That's a real friend there!

 

You got a lot going on for you and it's only getting better! You need to start seeing that! The road in front of you is clear. Her road? She can't even see it! She's 27 years old, worked as an Au Pair, and wants to party it up. You stated the ONLY thing she has going for her is; I think you said, "Bubbly and cute". Well, that an a 1.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.

 

If she wants to self destruct? Well, that's her problem and not your's anymore.

[julzfromsa]

Dude! You really need to take inventory on what you have going on. You have a degree in Architecture. I believe you're working in a firm in South Africa? You're working out, staying in shape. You're living situation is being sorted out and you're getting back on your feet.

 

You have friends that will help you out and tell you to beat it when she's about to ambush you with 5 of her friends, to PROTECT YOU. And finish the work by himself. That's a real friend there!

 

You got a lot going on for you and it's only getting better! You need to start seeing that! The road in front of you is clear. Her road? She can't even see it! She's 27 years old, worked as an Au Pair, and wants to party it up. You stated the ONLY thing she has going for her is; I think you said, "Bubbly and cute". Well, that an a 1.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.

 

If she wants to self destruct? Well, that's her problem and not your's anymore.

 

BEST POST OF MY LIFE

 

Thank you for this!!! Sometimes i need someone to kick my BUT!

 

You just did. We married now!

[movingonnow1]

BEST POST OF MY LIFE

 

Thank you for this!!! Sometimes i need someone to kick my BUT!

 

You just did. We married now!

 

They power and key is in your hand dude!! You've come a long way and you really are in a much better place without her. Wait till you meet the next girl who will be 10x better and more suitable for you .

[julzfromsa]

Love is strange.

 

Love is not reasonable. Sometimes you fall deeply in love with the wrong person. You may have different belief system and want different things from life. Love knows no boundaries and personally i believe it should for the sake of your own heart

 

Love is Cruel. You can love someone and they can love you and one day it all end. Its not forever. The only love that is forever is the love for a child, and love for yourself. If you can love yourself enough then the chances of finding that ever so elusive life ling love is that much greater.

 

Toxic relationships - These types of relationships are like the one i had. The consume you as there is always chaos and drama. Not always in the relationship but in the social atmosphere around you. They fill you with emotion and your center becomes noisy and full. When the relationship finally ends, you end up feeling lonely and empty as there is no more noise in your life. I am going through this right now. I have been told in time, i will learn to love this peace. It will be a gift for myself. Time to reflect on the things that matter and not just inconsequential noise and babel. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship be warned. They only end up in heartbreak and pain. Remember, you cannot change somebody and it was wrong of me to try.

 

Be patient - Its not natural to be happy after a toxic relationship doesn't work. Give yourself some time to heal.

 

Be Busy - Do something different.. Be busy as much as you can. It takes your mind off the pain and grief.

 

Be social - GO OUT! Force yourself. I literally have to force myself to go out!

 

You will still miss the MEMORY of the old partner. Remember you are not missing the person as they are now because they have changed drastically. That been said, it doesn't stop the pain or the longing. I'm not sure how long it lasts but i am sure that it does end. I still wonder what is going on in her life but then i realize that it really does not matter. The crux of the matter is, that she has left me. She is gone and i need to do whatever i need to do to get over it and move on. Life isn't about her anymore, it is about me. When you find yourself pondering about her life, stop, remember that is doesn't matter and whatever you think is not going to change a thing, then move onto thinking about something else.

 

Best

 

Julian

[RDawg]

Ja boet. Not an easy one but we'll get there & we will be stronger, wiser and more compassionate people in the end.

[julzfromsa]

Howzit my china

 

Almost missed that! HAHA

 

apparently just takes time. I choose to believe it!

[julzfromsa]

hey all

 

So still absolutely NC from either party including the family. I still have no idea what is going on in her life, and im pretty sure she has no idea what i am up to either. I do have a feeling that she has found someone else, but i cannot be sure and it actually really doesn't matter.

 

All i hope is that this somebody is no one i know.. This is all i ask. Perhaps if i keep the NC thing strong, and she is seeing someone i know, i will never find out, and perhaps if and when i do find out, then i just wont care.

 

This is the only thing that i prey for regarding her.. I really am not sure if i could deal with the fact that she is seeing someone i know..

 

Anyways, not a bad day today. Feeling strong.

 

Went on an amazing date last night.

 

[k10k]

hey all

 

So still absolutely NC from either party including the family. I still have no idea what is going on in her life, and im pretty sure she has no idea what i am up to either. I do have a feeling that she has found someone else, but i cannot be sure and it actually really doesn't matter.

 

All i hope is that this somebody is no one i know.. This is all i ask. Perhaps if i keep the NC thing strong, and she is seeing someone i know, i will never find out, and perhaps if and when i do find out, then i just wont care.

 

This is the only thing that i prey for regarding her.. I really am not sure if i could deal with the fact that she is seeing someone i know..

 

Anyways, not a bad day today. Feeling strong.

 

Went on an amazing date last night.

 

 

Lekker julzfromsa! (and RDawg) - fellow SA members

 

Glad you're feeling strong today and had an amazing date last night, savour the moment

[julzfromsa]

Good to have some local supporters..

 

Anyways, today had a good training session. Helps keep my mind of *****. Other than that nothing to report.. The granddad contacted me regarding her mail. It comes to me, so he asked if i could post it to her..

 

I said, "its neither my problem or yours. If she wants her mail she must come and fetch it.. I have not taken it out the post box, so whatever is there is there". He got a little upset.. I really don't care and it seriously isnt my problem..

 

I also said, it would be really nice for her to drop off the engagement ring when she collects the post because Its been promised to me 2 months ago!!!

 

He responded with a ok, Thanks.

 

End.

 

Wish this BS contact from her family would stop.. Im thinking of blocking absolutely all her family as well.

[julzfromsa]

Hey Guys

 

So this morning i got a notification from yahoo notifying me that someone is trying to access my email. She used to do this all the time.. I know that it is her, i just cant understand why?

 

Why is she interested? She left?

 

Advice?

 

Julz

[mantlefan]

Hey Guys

 

So this morning i got a notification from yahoo notifying me that someone is trying to access my email. She used to do this all the time.. I know that it is her, i just cant understand why?

 

Why is she interested? She left?

 

Advice?

 

Julz

 

I don't know. I'd take a little comfort in the fact that she doesn't seem to be over you. Keep up that NC, ignore this stuff.

[Chi townD]

Hey Guys

 

So this morning i got a notification from yahoo notifying me that someone is trying to access my email. She used to do this all the time.. I know that it is her, i just cant understand why?

 

Why is she interested? She left?

 

Advice?

 

Julz

 

 

Because NC is working. She knows nothing of your life. She has no idea how you're feeling. Are you sad, are you happy, is he dating someone else (you may ask "why" on that one, but our Ex's want to move on but they don't want us to move on ahead of them in the healing process for some reason), is he angry, is indifferent.... You give them nothing. You leave them wondering and it drives them insane.

 

Just keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like she's having other people throw you breadcrumbs by having grand dad contact you.

[julzfromsa]

Because NC is working. She knows nothing of your life. She has no idea how you're feeling. Are you sad, are you happy, is he dating someone else (you may ask "why" on that one, but our Ex's want to move on but they don't want us to move on ahead of them in the healing process for some reason), is he angry, is indifferent.... You give them nothing. You leave them wondering and it drives them insane.

 

Just keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like she's having other people throw you breadcrumbs by having grand dad contact you.

 

Thanks Guys

 

It seems so Cruel in a way. I want you to leave forever, but you not allowed to move on, or be happy.. Suppose its nothing much.

 

Not going to contact her ever and if she does ill ignore.. thanks Chi and Mantle, you guys are amazing and i heave listened and applied all that you have advised first and foremost and im doing ok

 

Love u guys

 

Julz