liloldlady Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 He's been begging for access to my apartment, wants to stay there for three days this week while they work on the apartment he lives in (days only, not night). He's encouraging us to continue seeing one another when I have lost interest. I told him one reason why. I specifically said "there's someone on his Twitter I don't like. Please knock it off." I think he's very loose and easily accessible/unprofessional. Then he called me by her name! I said what did you call me? He said he did it out of sheer anger and because I was talking about her. He said get this job done for me (long story, something professional that I can do -- maybe) and then he'll stop with her on Twitter. He was raising his voice and said I can't get the job done professionally anyway. Well, he'll see about that soon enough anyway -- with another artist (whom he is very envious of). He said you know what, we're good, we can stop being friends. I've been backing off of him for a while. It's like one of those: you can't fire me, I quit! He said how does that make you feel when I call you someone else's name? I said: "Nothing. It makes me feel nothing. And that's not what you want me to feel for you." Emotional abuser, right? He said you don't like anybody. You don't like Renee. I have no idea who that is so obviously it didn't mean that much to me. He's just had a melt down. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Emotional abuser, right? Now you're crying wolf. No. Just the result of you meddling in his business and then unsuccessfully mixing business with pleasure. The backfire is expected. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 meddling in his business It's a simple request. There's a reason behind his staunch refusal Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 No, you're meddling in HIS business and that is the reason for his attitude, but it isn't abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 No, you're meddling in HIS business I am not meddling. I made a simple request. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You are busying yourself, unduly, with something that isn't your concern, thus meddling. In order to live the life of dignity that you speak of you must quit meddling in his affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 It's not abuse. He's been the perfect liar and cheat the whole time. You allow it - no one to blame but yourself. Quit participating. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I am not meddling. I made a simple request. It's an unreasonable request when you've known he cheats. He's cheating with you on her. Why wouldn't he also cheat on you? Your expectations are unreasonable considering the source. I can't understand why you think all your drama is normal...it's not! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Your expectations are unreasonable considering the source. It's true. That's why he's been so frustrated with me today. I've been trying to get orange juice from an apple. He's just not wired that way. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 It's true. That's why he's been so frustrated with me today. I've been trying to get orange juice from an apple. He's just not wired that way. You can change you. You can't change him. What do you plan to change about yourself - and your expectations? I hope you told him no way - about staying with you for a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 You can change you. You can't change him. Exactly. Acceptance of this, regardless of how long we've known one another and how many feelings have developed, is essential. I was keenly aware of this in the beginning. What do you plan to change about yourself - and your expectations? Remind myself: don't go looking for cherries in his apple tree! That is not him I hope you told him no way - about staying with you for a few days. I'm confused. First he said Wednesday through Friday, days only, but yesterday I think he said just Friday (during the day, of course, though he said he wishes he could stay nights, too). So I also see that as time goes on, I may detect some, ahem... inconsistencies. Like that uncle you know who has a kleptomania problem. Just don't leave your purse lying around and accept him for who he is. That's just how he is. The things I have been bothering him about: he asked me are they things worth ending a friendship over. He's got a good point. They aren't. Now if he was boyfriend material, it would be different -- but he is not that. Although the day before yesterday, he referred to that lady he lives with as his "other girl". Specifically, "you're complaining but my other girl isn't". (Perhaps because she's a doormat, but that's nothing to do with me.) He told me early on that I am his "girl, whether you know it or not". I have to let such talk go in one ear and out the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 So I also see that as time goes on, I may detect some, ahem... inconsistencies. Pot meet kettle. (Perhaps because she's a doormat, but that's nothing to do with me.) She may be Doormat 1, but you're Doormat 2, or 3, or . . . depending on the day, with this joker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts