pickflicker Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thank you for reminding me, seriously. I almost forgot how cruel she was to me in the early days of our split, constantly leading me on giving me hope. I don't even like coffee anyway!! I would, as one other poster mentioned, sit on the text for at least a few days. Then decline. If you want to reply now, and if you think you can manage it, flick her a quick text now that says "Sorry - swamped with other commitments at the moment. Take care." Then don't reply to anything else. Go completely silent. If you don't trust yourself to send one text, just remain silent. If you could give me your phone, I'd do it for you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Remember too, this is her third text, TEXT. If she was really serious she would ring you frustrated saying 'jesus, so now your wont even talk to me? I miss you, i need to see you' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Winter blue Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I don't even like coffee anyway!! Maybe you could tell her that? would be the perfect excuse for not going eh My ex emailed me asking for coffee and movie after we bumped into each other last month, I thought to myself how awkward that would be to sit in a cinema for 3 hours and not talking. I was quite pissed at her for asking me to hang out after 4 months NC and pretended like nothing happended, I wasn't planning to reply but out of courtesy 3 days later I just told her I don't think that's a good idea, and thanked for her the xmas and NY wishes. I was polite to almost cold because really, I think if she wants me back she need to make a harder effort. If I were you to reply OP, just be polite and make it short. You can ask her 'what's for' as some other poster suggested or, just politely decline and see if she tries again. By doing so, you will be able to tell if she really wants you back or if she is just bored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'll have an update for you all later.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hurts2death Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 or at least postpone it by excuse that you have soth that cant wait and is serious like a job or sth. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'll have an update for you all later.... I hope it's good news... Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'll have an update for you all later.... Now your giving us breadcrumbs! 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ^^^ LMAO! That's awesome! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trapito Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'm very curious. I hope you are ok. Link to post Share on other sites
lolitahaze Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I have a question, wouldnt it be weird if an ex just texts you saying hey, wanna get back togheter? After months of no contact. I mean is there a chance that instead of an ego boost they are trying to see if you too want to get back...and first step would be for example seeing if you miss them back... Maybe i am too naive. But still i would like to be in your shoes, getting that text... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hurts2death Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 wow i really wish things were like that instead dumpers are selfcentric totaly and especially if they undergoing gigs. they have to cycle the process and this doesnt happen over some months.they at least need a year to TRULY miss you despite that our ignorance towards them will only backfire love if they wanted sth good when texting us.I have a question, wouldnt it be weird if an ex just texts you saying hey, wanna get back togheter? After months of no contact. I mean is there a chance that instead of an ego boost they are trying to see if you too want to get back...and first step would be for example seeing if you miss them back... Maybe i am too naive. But still i would like to be in your shoes, getting that text... Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 ARGHH I just typed up a massive post but somehow lost it.. So just going to give you the points- I didn't reply to messages She turned up at my work yesterday We went out for dinner We went back to her house She told me how much she misses me and wants us back Very loving all night, touching me complimenting me etc. Today NOTHING, extremely cold and un-interested I've been taken for a mug once again, what have I done to deserve this!? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Okay, well chalk it up to lessons learned. The next time she contacts you, COMPLETELY IGNORE IT!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trapito Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Ugh! What a bitch! She will probably contact you soon with a sob story about how she was unable to message you or be nice to you, and then the cycle continues. Block her, you gave her a chance and she blew it. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ARGHH I just typed up a massive post but somehow lost it.. So just going to give you the points- I didn't reply to messages She turned up at my work yesterday We went out for dinner We went back to her house She told me how much she misses me and wants us back Very loving all night, touching me complimenting me etc. Today NOTHING, extremely cold and un-interested I've been taken for a mug once again, what have I done to deserve this!? Ok, please explain further what you mean by today nothing, extremely cold and uninterested. Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ARGHH I just typed up a massive post but somehow lost it.. So just going to give you the points- I didn't reply to messages She turned up at my work yesterday We went out for dinner We went back to her house She told me how much she misses me and wants us back Very loving all night, touching me complimenting me etc. Today NOTHING, extremely cold and un-interested I've been taken for a mug once again, what have I done to deserve this!? What do you mean by that? Have you called her again or something? Anyways, its harsh, she is being very cruel. Now for 100% no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 She basically told me that the only reason she contacted me was because she missed me, not that she wanted to get back together. How the **** could she do that? I asked her nicely 'Please DO NOT contact me' so when she contacted me I genuinely thought she wanted me back. What a cruel heartless bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 She basically told me that the only reason she contacted me was because she missed me, not that she wanted to get back together. How the **** could she do that? I asked her nicely 'Please DO NOT contact me' so when she contacted me I genuinely thought she wanted me back. What a cruel heartless bitch. Well, you're to blame on that one. You told her not to contact you. She wanted to test how much power she still had over you and you caved. Now, she's on a massive ego boost because she believes she can still play you like a fiddle. Hard NC dude. Learn it and live it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hurts2death Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 it smells like bipolar. once she starts to decline again she will be again hot and cosy then cold and hard again... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Cant believe she had the nerve to turn up to your place of work too. Thats a next level of callousness. Well, the only saving grace now is you dont contact her again. Thats the test. She will be expecting a text from you in the next few days, so dont give it to her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 She basically told me that the only reason she contacted me was because she missed me, not that she wanted to get back together. How the **** could she do that? I asked her nicely 'Please DO NOT contact me' so when she contacted me I genuinely thought she wanted me back. What a cruel heartless bitch. Just as I suspected - - it was a power play after all. She did it because she could. She has demonstrated that she has no respect for your feelings, boundaries and least of all you. As ChiTown said -- chalk this up to a lesson learned. Next time she tries that sh*t, ask her to leave. If she refuses, have her escorted out. But do not leave with her and do not allow her to violate your boundaries like that. Now you know what her game is. Don't play it. Show her the door. What a contemptible human being this woman is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 She basically told me that the only reason she contacted me was because she missed me, not that she wanted to get back together. How the **** could she do that? I asked her nicely 'Please DO NOT contact me' so when she contacted me I genuinely thought she wanted me back. What a cruel heartless bitch. That's a pretty cruel game to play. Sorry man, now you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TylerDurdenn Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I feel like I've been calm and respectful during our break up but this has really made me see red.. I just don't understand what I've done so wrong.. Link to post Share on other sites
miguelcervantes Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Hello TylerD, Just read through all of your posts - Spurs are a good team! I am an ex-Londoner - just curious (I know you will want to know why I want to know) - what is the ethnicity of your (ex) gf ? You mentioned English was not her mother's first language. I have lived in most parts of London and all over the north of London (from NW to East) and was just wondering about behavioural patterns. London has changed a huge amount in the last 30 years. You are only 21 years old and sound very mature and wise for your age (must have done well at Uni ?) - your ex gf on the other hand not as much as you make her out to be. I have also had my share of gf's from different backgrounds, walks of life etc. Cheers and keep the faith. By the way there's tons of stuff you can be getting up to without resorting to weed etc. - trust me been there, done that. Do you like music, sports, art, comedy, clubbing, scifi, charity, theatre, etc. - London is great for it all and an excellent place to meet wonderful girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Well, look on the bright side. At least you got some last minute lovin! Link to post Share on other sites
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