Recent ex-girlfriend texted me happy new years.

[tricolors]

A relationship going on nine months, and she broke up with me by e-mail early last month a couple of days after a typical dinner we had together that went normal, refusing to talk to me in person, etcetera. (I already made an old thread about that, won't repeat it all again.)

 

So after a period of a week or so of angry things said in e-mail and texts, some of which I regret, it ended up with her very last text message to me saying "don't ever contact me or my family ever again."

 

So, three weeks go by, and I had no intention of contacting her again, and I didn't, at least not in any close future.

 

I step out of my car to walk into the gym new year's day, and I see a text message. Who is it? Her.

 

Hello ... Wanted to wish you a very HAPPY 2014... despite our fall out...I sincerely wish this year will bring you all that you desire...in many ways. Hope you re doing good, take good care of yourself. Hugs.

 

Part of me is happy she texted, and I really cared about her, and she cared about me (aside from the massive disrespect of an e-mail breakup.) It was nice, in a way, to wrap up things more amicably with her and not be angry. I texted her back, saying "you have a nice year too, etcetera," then she even responded to that and said "Thanks" with a smiley face emoticon.

 

At the same time, and it's not as bad as it was when the breakup first happened...but it kind of threw me for a loop, you know? I mean, I'm fine, but it sort of opens up wounds again.

 

The motivation for her texting me like that is interesting.

 

If nothing else I love psychology and hypothesizing why people do what they do. Did she feel guilty? Does she feel regret? Is she trying to be friends with me? Very interesting.

[what_a_blonde]

I'm no expert, and haven't read you original thread on the break up, but after 3 weeks of no contact and her telling you to not contact her... then she contacts you.... it DOES sounds like she misses you.

 

However, I do believe its more of an ego boost. She probably thought you might actually not listen to her and text her, despite her telling you "don't ever contact me or my family again, etc.". So when you really didn't text her ever... she wanted to send a text out there to make sure you were still alive, and essentially see if you still cared. (i.e. Open Up Your Wound)

 

Women do this. And given how disrespectfully she broke up with you, I wouldn't take this as anything more than an ego boost for her and just trying to see if you would respond to her and still "care" enough to respond. It was polite of you to respond back to her "you too" etc., but don't initiate anything else and try not to think anything more of it.

 

Continue on to your path of healing and do your best not to reach out to her first. Unless she contacts you with an over-the-top, genuine and sincere apology, there's no need to stay in touch. Trust me, if you ever want to move on this is the best way.

 

Otherwise you're continuing to leave the wound open, not allowing room for any new, great relationships, while she is probably out there having a good old time and can STILL text you on the side occasionally when she needs a little ego boost.

 

Best of luck.

[Biscous]

Ha. My ex of over a year texted me too. She got married to her ex in Sept.

 

I proceeded to ignore her and took a road trip to Colorado. ka boom

[organizedchaos]

She may miss you, but that text doesn't mean she wants you back. Keep moving on. My ex, after I told her not to contact me wished me a happy thanksgiving and a merry Christmas. We're still broken up.

[tricolors]

I'm no expert, and haven't read you original thread on the break up, but after 3 weeks of no contact and her telling you to not contact her... then she contacts you.... it DOES sounds like she misses you.

 

However, I do believe its more of an ego boost. She probably thought you might actually not listen to her and text her, despite her telling you "don't ever contact me or my family again, etc.". So when you really didn't text her ever... she wanted to send a text out there to make sure you were still alive, and essentially see if you still cared. (i.e. Open Up Your Wound)

 

Women do this. And given how disrespectfully she broke up with you, I wouldn't take this as anything more than an ego boost for her and just trying to see if you would respond to her and still "care" enough to respond. It was polite of you to respond back to her "you too" etc., but don't initiate anything else and try not to think anything more of it.

 

Continue on to your path of healing and do your best not to reach out to her first. Unless she contacts you with an over-the-top, genuine and sincere apology, there's no need to stay in touch. Trust me, if you ever want to move on this is the best way.

 

Otherwise you're continuing to leave the wound open, not allowing room for any new, great relationships, while she is probably out there having a good old time and can STILL text you on the side occasionally when she needs a little ego boost.

 

Best of luck.

 

I hear you. It's entirely possible, and I'm not looking at it any other way. I do not intend to contact her again, and I am moving forward.

 

 

She may miss you, but that text doesn't mean she wants you back. Keep moving on. My ex, after I told her not to contact me wished me a happy thanksgiving and a merry Christmas. We're still broken up.

 

 

Oh, I agree completely. And I'm not trying to get her back, so don't worry about that!

 

I just genuinely enjoy psychology and thinking about stuff like this.

 

It's funny, she used e-mail to break up with me (which was like ten sentences at best, by the way,) and completely ignored me when I asked her to talk to me in person about it. Literally just would not answer e-mails, texts, or phone calls. Then I ignore her for three weeks, and she texts me.

 

I suppose that says it all. People want what they can't have, or who ignores them.

 

Edited January 8, 2014 by tricolors