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Not sure what's going on with fwb/room mate


youaremysunshine

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youaremysunshine

So I live with 4 dudes, I found the place on kijiji. Things were going great, I got along swell with all four. We all hang out as a group and it's great.

 

I started noticing that one of my room mates, a 21 year old we'll call H seemed to be making a special effort to spend time with me, asking to play cards and do the crossword, then later watch movies and drink beer. I am really attracted to him, but I was seeing someone. Eventually he puts it out there that he really likes me in a text message one night after we watch a movie. I was downstairs washing dishes and when I don't answer he comes down kisses me and throws me up on the kitchen counter, steamy!

 

Anyway I figured it was unfair to the guy I was seeing, it wasn't serious and I could tell nither of us were that into it. I broke it off with him. Me and H sleep together about 3 nights a week. We always text eachother to ask to hang out and he had NEVER been in my room so I figure even though we live together we still have boundaries.

 

 

I know he's not what I'm looking for in terms of a serious boyfriend, on disability and moving away to b.c in a month. He just got out, in September of a 6 year relationship with his best friend of 12 years, more than half his life. He is also coping with the lost of his nephew, a baby. It's a lot to deal with. He told me one night after sex and he sobbed uncontrollably. He also confided in me that he was bi-polar.

 

He's told me he loves me several times.

 

The sex is hot, I've never been with someone like him. He seems crazy with desire for me and praises every aspect of my appearance and personality. He beats me with his belt and pulls my hair. He says he ex loved pain, and I guess I like it too. Sometimes in the heat of it, he calls me her name.

 

 

About a week before Christmas he became distant. He seemed grey and complained of liver pain. He seemed to be drinking a lot. I never really got a chance to talk to him about it before he went home for Christmas. I didn't see him until few days ago when he turned up out of the blue in my room mates room! He didn't even tell me he was back! He said he just needed to run a few errands and was going home in a few hours. He begged all our room mates to come except me. I just invited myself anyway and when we were alone in the car it was awkward. He told me he was alone on Christmas and New Years, he texted me both days but didn't mention he was alone. He was actually AT the apartment on New Years but I didn't know. I would have at least said hi before going out. Then this morning I hear his voice in the hall but I didn't get up and when text him saying "hey good to hear your voice this morning sorry I was too lazy to say hi" he never replied!

 

Do you think this has anything to do with me or maybe he's in a depressive phase? When I met him he was an incredibly high energy person and now he seems like a zombie.

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youaremysunshine

Basically I want to offer to be there for him, I think I was a comfort to him when he was upset about his nephew and when he talks about his ex. But if he is avoiding me I should just back off right?

 

 

P.s I'm not in love with him as I am devastatingly in love with my last serious boyfriend who left me to hitch hike cross country and may or may not come back some day.

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youaremysunshine

And now he's giggling over pancakes with some chick.

 

Depressed my ass. Wonder if it's his ex or someone else?

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And now he's giggling over pancakes with some chick.

 

Depressed my ass. Wonder if it's his ex or someone else?

 

Yum, pancakes! Blueberry?

But seriously, he may indeed have issues with depression. More likely bipolar. The drinking is worrisome. Not looking well, liver pain? I'd ask him about that, express your concern.

 

Yea, be there for him. You knew when you started it could be nothing more than that, so you're really not out anything.

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youaremysunshine

He said that he was bi polar so I guess that's what's happening. It's was already clear to me that he was an alcoholic.

 

 

The woman who ever she is, is still in his room they are laughing and chatting loudly. It might be his ex?

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He said that he was bi polar so I guess that's what's happening. It's was already clear to me that he was an alcoholic.

 

 

The woman who ever she is, is still in his room they are laughing and chatting loudly. It might be his ex?

 

It's obviously a ploy to piss you off. Who cares who it is. Go out.

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youaremysunshine

He texted me today like hey how are you I miss you lets watch a movie tonight!

 

Ugh?

 

Now he's up in his room playing and singing sad sack songs on the acoustic.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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youaremysunshine

Well I've just been avoiding him. I heard from other room mates that his reconciliation with his ex lasted a total of three days. He's been drinking heavily round the clock since then and has been talking loudly about the 4 day coke bender he's been on. He hasn't left the house. He seems aggressively social though and has lot of visitors.

 

I found a note from him on the ground from him " M- we need to talk, knock on my door anytime, love your wonderful room mate H"

 

No idea when it was written

Edited by youaremysunshine
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