Women's earning capability

[Debanked]

My wife is very smart and hard-working and I admire her for it. We are in different fields and I currently make nearly twice what she does. But she is on a great track to move up and will eventually out-earn me. It won't bother me one bit! I have noticed that despite her smarts and excellent track record, she has to constantly put up with office politics and prove herself or her superiors are quick to nit-pick and find a reason to hold her back. A lot of her male colleagues are slackers but get away with it due to the boys-club mentality and her boss (male) is a spineless lackey. I think they are threatened by her.

[Els]

How can you have mindblowing orgasms if he isn't more successful than you on some level?

 

I'm just teasing Els, glad you're still keeping things interesting. Too bad every woman isn't like that.

 

Ah, yes, nothing like the sight of a platinum card to get a girl's juices flowing, huh?

 

I think many women do have the capability to be creative in bed with a man who prioritizes her pleasure in turn. But, thanks.

 

I do give them time, but it still concerns me. What I find is they often need to look for something else they can feel 'superior' about instead of just looking for compatibility... and if they can't find 'it' (whatever IT IS that they need to feel superior about) then they resort to these other tactics.

 

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't always manifest itself right away. It could happen anytime. I blame it on our culture that dictates that men have to be better than women... more experienced, more money, more whatever in order to be a 'man'. It's obnoxious that people are set up to be competitors by outside factors. I've never done it. All I care about is meeting someone who doesn't need to cut my legs off in order to feel special and isn't constantly comparing himself to me.

 

RR, why do you feel that all men automatically want to cut you down and compare himself to you? Yes, some men are ambitious and competitive, but not all of them need to feel superior to their partner. Some of them are just happy achieving their own dreams in life and sharing that life with a partner. Competition is done with colleagues in their field, not at home.

[Emilia]

RR, why do you feel that all men automatically want to cut you down and compare himself to you? Yes, some men are ambitious and competitive, but not all of them need to feel superior to their partner. Some of them are just happy achieving their own dreams in life and sharing that life with a partner. Competition is done with colleagues in their field, not at home.

Because of this:

 

Understanding Patriarchy and Men's Power | NOMAS

[RedRobin]

In all fairness, some women with enormous intellect and success manage to keep a less successful man's ego in tact. With an incredible amount of effort. You don't seem to show much interest in that though a lot of times. Which I don't blame you for, you shouldn't have to, but it is what it is.

 

 

 

Right... because caring for them, loving them, admiring them, and respecting them isn't enough.

 

 

You are right... I don't tolerate insecure, ungrateful men whose primary source of internal satisfaction comes from feeling superior to their partner. Yep.

[RedRobin]

RR, why do you feel that all men automatically want to cut you down and compare himself to you? Yes, some men are ambitious and competitive, but not all of them need to feel superior to their partner. Some of them are just happy achieving their own dreams in life and sharing that life with a partner. Competition is done with colleagues in their field, not at home.

 

 

I don't automatically think that. I wasn't raised in an environment where husbands and wives compete with each other.

 

 

it wasn't until I ventured out into the world that I was rudely subjected to that attitude from men I dated. It was rather shocking to me. Still is.

 

 

Take a look at TFY's comment... and if you've followed any of his posts... he's the one who has challenged me to road races, etc. I never have. Sarcastically calls me 'Wonder Woman'... and in a thread where he agrees with the claim that men need to make more... now says I need to be a lesbian. I'm not the one who feels the need to compete.

 

 

It gets old... because all *I* am doing is trying to achieve MY dreams in life doing things I enjoy. Would be nice to enjoy those things with someone without feeling like I have to stuff myself in a little box so they can feel good about themselves.

Edited January 10, 2014 by RedRobin

[gaius]

I don't automatically think that. I wasn't raised in an environment where husbands and wives compete with each other.

 

 

it wasn't until I ventured out into the world that I was rudely subjected to that attitude from men I dated. It was rather shocking to me. Still is.

 

 

Take a look at TFY's comment... and if you've followed any of his posts... he's the one who has challenged me to road races, etc. I never have. Sarcastically calls me 'Wonder Woman'... and in a thread where he agrees with the claim that men need to make more... now says I need to be a lesbian. I'm not the one who feels the need to compete.

 

 

It gets old... because all *I* am doing is trying to achieve MY dreams in life doing things I enjoy. Would be nice to enjoy those things with someone without feeling like I have to stuff myself in a little box so they can feel good about themselves.

I don't think it's just about having to stuff yourself in a box. One of the things I take pride in is my memory, and I think that's the second time in short order you've blatently corrected me on a detail about yourself. The first was not noticing something you said twice six months ago and I couldn't even find a post of where you mentioned the word doctorate. Maybe you have said PhD before but it wouldn't let me search for that. If I was more insecure I might have found that a bit irritating.

 

You know even if you gained 30 pounds and quit your job to work at a carwash I think a lot of men would still find you intimidating with that intellect and forceful personality. If you're not even going to put effort into at least letting men uphold the image they have of themselves they're going to start feeling a bit humiliated and get competitive. Would you really have had to put yourself in a box by correcting me in a more diplomatic manner? Again, I enjoy your honesty and personality but that's generally not what brings out sexual feelings in a guy and makes him want to make you his life partner and primary support system. Maybe this wasn't an issue with your parents since they grew up in a different time. If your father was the primary breadwinner he wouldn't have to be competitive, that might have stroked his ego enough. Then again I don't know if he was the primary breadwinner, if you've posted about that before I wasn't reading the forum that day.

 

I get the feeling that TFY hit on you behind the scenes and was unsuccessful so he's probably a little mad and humiliated. I know there was a guy here who went out with threebyfate for a while but got dumped and whenever I see her she's always praising him to soothe his ego. That's probably the only reason she hasn't gotten some angry treatment from him, and why despite her enormous intellect she manages to have a bevy of guys interested in a commited relationship and marriage. And not that threatened by what she brings to the table.

 

Ps There was a single failure I've had here, a woman I hit on unsuccessfully and she did 0 to try and placate my ego and I think I did reply to her one time in somewhat nasty fashion. It happens.

[Emilia]

I get the feeling that TFY hit on you behind the scenes and was unsuccessful so he's probably a little mad and humiliated. I know there was a guy here who went out with threebyfate for a while but got dumped and whenever I see her she's always praising him to soothe his ego. That's probably the only reason she hasn't gotten some angry treatment from him, and why despite her enormous intellect she manages to have a bevy of guys interested in a commited relationship and marriage. And not that threatened by what she brings to the table.

 

Ps There was a single failure I've had here, a woman I hit on unsuccessfully and she did 0 to try and placate my ego and I think I did reply to her one time in somewhat nasty fashion. It happens.

I don't really know of course whether TFY had hit on her or whom you hit on or anything like that but don't you think that this is all a bit ... pathetic? We are all complete strangers on this forum, being turned down by strangers can't be that meaningful and getting hurt by that is just...

[Got it]

Just an observation...

 

Most of the guys i know and myself make more than their wives ever did. Even the professional ones...Most of the guys in my circle are businessmen and entrepeneurs..All of their wives became SAHM's after the kids came and most only worked PT jobs after the kids got a little older. They rarely, if ever complain about money and how much they contribute...If they do, its more in a joking fashion...They are the heavy here and thats the end of it.

 

But in the cases I know where the women are the heavy, they treat their husbands like little children when it comes to money...They measure each cent and complain incessantly if the guy doesnt work or is spending more than his "allowance".....Id NEVER be a part of that, I dont care who she is or how much she makes..

 

If I want a $2700. watch..Ill buy it!..:laugh:

 

YMMV

 

TFY

 

And act unilaterally in the relationship. Nice. Sounds like a relationship for success. Nor does it mean treating the man like a child when you ask for the ability to weigh in. Just like I don't feel I have the ability to just spend money willy nilly just because "I make it". Makes me sound like a spoiled, self serving *********.

[Got it]

At this point I make more and I don't care nor does he. I can see in the future we making the same as his is tied up with prior family obligations which is all good reasons.

 

I don't see either of us defined by our income. My focus is we both have the ability to support ourselves so any time off is done with a fair give and take so neither's resume is hit too much. You never know when you need to be able to financially support yourself because of death, divorce, or disability and not being able to jump immediately into the workforce puts you and your family in great risk.

 

We have been discussing this in regards to growing our own family and the ideal situation is having childcare given by grandparent(s). Potentially having his mother move in with us. I think this is a fantastic idea and it allows both of us to work but still have our child(ren) raised in our home with family. We have also discussed taking turns taking a year or two off of work equally to balance things.

 

I did make less than my ex husband in the first half of our marriage and it wasn't a major deal for us. I think either situation really depends on the individuals involved. I think the bottom line, it is about respecting what the other person is doing for the partnership/family and knowing their are pulling their weight in whatever they are doing. If you "see" it and respect it then I don't see that it would be an issue.

[thefooloftheyear]

I don't automatically think that. I wasn't raised in an environment where husbands and wives compete with each other.

 

 

it wasn't until I ventured out into the world that I was rudely subjected to that attitude from men I dated. It was rather shocking to me. Still is.

 

 

Take a look at TFY's comment... and if you've followed any of his posts... he's the one who has challenged me to road races, etc. I never have. Sarcastically calls me 'Wonder Woman'... and in a thread where he agrees with the claim that men need to make more... now says I need to be a lesbian. I'm not the one who feels the need to compete.

 

 

It gets old... because all *I* am doing is trying to achieve MY dreams in life doing things I enjoy. Would be nice to enjoy those things with someone without feeling like I have to stuff myself in a little box so they can feel good about themselves.

 

Oh, FFS..

 

Just having a bit of fun....Learn to laugh a little....The most ridiculous part of your statement is if you knew me in real life you would quickly realize that I am about the most patient, caring, reasonable and understanding person you have ever met..

 

And I never said anything about men needing to make more..Its been my experience that the people in my circle do. Would I feel inadequate a little if I made less? Maybe...But thats on me...Id never judge anyone for that.

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

And act unilaterally in the relationship. Nice. Sounds like a relationship for success. Nor does it mean treating the man like a child when you ask for the ability to weigh in. Just like I don't feel I have the ability to just spend money willy nilly just because "I make it". Makes me sound like a spoiled, self serving *********.

 

 

Again..Just poking some fun..

 

I didnt think you were being unreasonable at all..I think he had the duty to have a discussion over it..

 

At the end of the day, whatever works is all that matters..

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

I don't think it's just about having to stuff yourself in a box. One of the things I take pride in is my memory, and I think that's the second time in short order you've blatently corrected me on a detail about yourself. The first was not noticing something you said twice six months ago and I couldn't even find a post of where you mentioned the word doctorate. Maybe you have said PhD before but it wouldn't let me search for that. If I was more insecure I might have found that a bit irritating.

 

You know even if you gained 30 pounds and quit your job to work at a carwash I think a lot of men would still find you intimidating with that intellect and forceful personality. If you're not even going to put effort into at least letting men uphold the image they have of themselves they're going to start feeling a bit humiliated and get competitive. Would you really have had to put yourself in a box by correcting me in a more diplomatic manner? Again, I enjoy your honesty and personality but that's generally not what brings out sexual feelings in a guy and makes him want to make you his life partner and primary support system. Maybe this wasn't an issue with your parents since they grew up in a different time. If your father was the primary breadwinner he wouldn't have to be competitive, that might have stroked his ego enough. Then again I don't know if he was the primary breadwinner, if you've posted about that before I wasn't reading the forum that day.

 

I get the feeling that TFY hit on you behind the scenes and was unsuccessful so he's probably a little mad and humiliated. I know there was a guy here who went out with threebyfate for a while but got dumped and whenever I see her she's always praising him to soothe his ego. That's probably the only reason she hasn't gotten some angry treatment from him, and why despite her enormous intellect she manages to have a bevy of guys interested in a commited relationship and marriage. And not that threatened by what she brings to the table.

 

Ps There was a single failure I've had here, a woman I hit on unsuccessfully and she did 0 to try and placate my ego and I think I did reply to her one time in somewhat nasty fashion. It happens.

 

Dont be a dope...Id never hit on anyone here.....sheeesh...

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

I don't think it's just about having to stuff yourself in a box. One of the things I take pride in is my memory, and I think that's the second time in short order you've blatently corrected me on a detail about yourself. The first was not noticing something you said twice six months ago and I couldn't even find a post of where you mentioned the word doctorate. Maybe you have said PhD before but it wouldn't let me search for that. If I was more insecure I might have found that a bit irritating.

 

 

Yes, all I've said is that I went to graduate school. This thread was the first time I mentioned I had a PhD. I wasn't scolding you. The only reason I mention it is because I felt it had some bearing on the conversation.

 

 

Not sure how many times I've mentioned that I live in Upstate NY. It probably isn't very often. Yes. I don't like people to know where I live. You said 'Spoilsport' when I mentioned it though (teasing me). I was teasing you back with the "you just aren't paying attention."

 

 

These little details can be lost in writing.

 

 

... but the fact that you can still carry on a conversation about these things without getting all pissy or passive aggressive is why I like you.

 

You know even if you gained 30 pounds and quit your job to work at a carwash I think a lot of men would still find you intimidating with that intellect and forceful personality.

Probably right... however, this doesn't explain why some or most reward my openness and moments of vulnerability with the kind of comments I mentioned above.

 

 

If you're not even going to put effort into at least letting men uphold the image they have of themselves they're going to start feeling a bit humiliated and get competitive.

oK, please explain what image is it of themselves they need to have? That involves cutting me down and stepping on my head? I don't do that to them.

 

 

Would you really have had to put yourself in a box by correcting me in a more diplomatic manner?

I didn't think I was correcting you. You took it as me correcting you though. See how that works? Just writing the word "PhD" was efficient. Ok, maybe a little too efficient. Got it.

 

 

Again, I enjoy your honesty and personality but that's generally not what brings out sexual feelings in a guy and makes him want to make you his life partner and primary support system.

.

 

 

Well, if it means anything... a guy being insecure (demonstrated by being angry, passive aggressive, or cutting me down) and needing me to exert all the emotional energy and understanding in the relationship doesn't bring out sexual feelings in me either. So its a win-win.

 

 

I do get it that men look to women as their primary source of emotional support. However, I'm not willing to exert that energy if he isn't also capable of being that for me. I work pretty hard to more open and available when I'm getting to know a guy. If I sense them becoming competitive at the mere mention of what I do (when they ask) and it keeps up... yes, my feelers go up and it makes me more cautious. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop when they take a swipe at me. Not all of them do, of course. A lot do though.

 

 

Maybe this wasn't an issue with your parents since they grew up in a different time. If your father was the primary breadwinner he wouldn't have to be competitive, that might have stroked his ego enough. Then again I don't know if he was the primary breadwinner, if you've posted about that before I wasn't reading the forum that day.

.

 

 

Yes he was, but my mom always worked. Was pretty good at it too. Interesting that neither one of them stressed this AT ALL. I never had the feeling there was any power dynamics whatsoever based on their income. Everything went into the same pot and they negotiated together on where the money went. That's how things have been with me and my relationships too.

 

I know there was a guy here who went out with threebyfate for a while but got dumped and whenever I see her she's always praising him to soothe his ego. That's probably the only reason she hasn't gotten some angry treatment from him, and why despite her enormous intellect she manages to have a bevy of guys interested in a commited relationship and marriage. And not that threatened by what she brings to the table.

I'm happy for her... I've tried to placate some guy's egos... and sincerely too.. and still gotten dumped on... lied to and lied about. It's not about me. Well, the fact I went out with them in the first place IS about me... but their reaction to me not being interested in them is not. It's about them needing to do the slash and burn. Again, these are not things I've ever had to deal with until the past few years... living up here and dealing with a lot of wounded men who are lashing out. (shaking head)

 

Ps There was a single failure I've had here, a woman I hit on unsuccessfully and she did 0 to try and placate my ego and I think I did reply to her one time in somewhat nasty fashion. It happens.

Good of you to admit that.

 

 

Nice conversation we had now, didn't we?

Edited January 10, 2014 by RedRobin

[RedRobin]

Oh, FFS..

 

Just having a bit of fun....Learn to laugh a little....The most ridiculous part of your statement is if you knew me in real life you would quickly realize that I am about the most patient, caring, reasonable and understanding person you have ever met..

And I never said anything about men needing to make more..Its been my experience that the people in my circle do. Would I feel inadequate a little if I made less? Maybe...But thats on me...Id never judge anyone for that.

 

TFY

 

 

Well, that must mean you are homosexual... maybe you need to turn gay.

 

 

Just kidding!!!

 

 

....guy apology accepted.

[gaius]

Dont be a dope...Id never hit on anyone here.....sheeesh...

 

TFY

Shrug, I remember her saying she was talking to someone here and they asked her out then threw a hissy fit when she said no. I know you yourself were referring to inside jokes you two had and joking about meeting up for a while around the same time, but aren't any longer and you both live near/in New York so it makes sense. But maybe there's a mystery suitor I'm unaware of.

Not sure how many times I've mentioned that I live in Upstate NY. It probably isn't very often. Yes. I don't like people to know where I live. You said 'Spoilsport' when I mentioned it though (teasing me). I was teasing you back with the "you just aren't paying attention."

 

... but the fact that you can still carry on a conversation about these things without getting all pissy or passive aggressive is why I like you.

 

Nice conversation we had now, didn't we?

I take it back that you're not interested in managing a guy's ego.

oK, please explain what image is it of themselves they need to have? That involves cutting me down and stepping on my head? I don't do that to them.

 

I didn't think I was correcting you. You took it as me correcting you though. See how that works? Just writing the word "PhD" was efficient. Ok, maybe a little too efficient. Got it.

Well it seemed like a blunt correction in front of a lot of other people, who might have taken the context to mean I should have known in the first place. For a guy who prides himself on being knowledgeable that might dent his self image a little. But to be honest I'm probably focusing too much on your behavior here when it comes to how you behave in your dating life. You are the woman who let one guy ramble on endlessly about weather patterns or some boring nonsense like that. I don't think many women would go to those lengths for a guy. Maybe do anal, or get dressed up in a ridiculous star trek outfit for roleplay, but not that.

Good of you to admit that.

I got over cocky and just sent a picture instead of trying to talk to her first. My one and only failure. I've always found the people who are honest and comfortable with their success and their failures, who they really are, the most interesting and lovable so why not share.

 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I don't think you have much to worry about You, making less than your boyfriend. He wouldn't want it any other way.

[Els]

Well, that must mean you are homosexual... maybe you need to turn gay.

 

 

Just kidding!!!

 

 

....guy apology accepted.

 

Whew. Here's a happy ending at last!

 

RR, I understand that many men act the way you describe. It irks me to no end, too.

 

I have met some men who do not fit that mold, though. I really hope that one day, you'll find one who, despite being ambitious himself, also encourages and supports your ambitions.

[Got it]

I don't think it's just about having to stuff yourself in a box. One of the things I take pride in is my memory, and I think that's the second time in short order you've blatently corrected me on a detail about yourself. The first was not noticing something you said twice six months ago and I couldn't even find a post of where you mentioned the word doctorate. Maybe you have said PhD before but it wouldn't let me search for that. If I was more insecure I might have found that a bit irritating.

 

You know even if you gained 30 pounds and quit your job to work at a carwash I think a lot of men would still find you intimidating with that intellect and forceful personality. If you're not even going to put effort into at least letting men uphold the image they have of themselves they're going to start feeling a bit humiliated and get competitive. Would you really have had to put yourself in a box by correcting me in a more diplomatic manner? Again, I enjoy your honesty and personality but that's generally not what brings out sexual feelings in a guy and makes him want to make you his life partner and primary support system. Maybe this wasn't an issue with your parents since they grew up in a different time. If your father was the primary breadwinner he wouldn't have to be competitive, that might have stroked his ego enough. Then again I don't know if he was the primary breadwinner, if you've posted about that before I wasn't reading the forum that day.

 

I get the feeling that TFY hit on you behind the scenes and was unsuccessful so he's probably a little mad and humiliated. I know there was a guy here who went out with threebyfate for a while but got dumped and whenever I see her she's always praising him to soothe his ego. That's probably the only reason she hasn't gotten some angry treatment from him, and why despite her enormous intellect she manages to have a bevy of guys interested in a commited relationship and marriage. And not that threatened by what she brings to the table.

 

Ps There was a single failure I've had here, a woman I hit on unsuccessfully and she did 0 to try and placate my ego and I think I did reply to her one time in somewhat nasty fashion. It happens.

 

:confused::eek: Whoa

 

 

RR- understand that there are actually mature men out there that it is an even give and take without all the tripping through ego patties. They are actually confident in themselves so her making more money is really just icing on the cake. The one piece you may have to look at is are you dating the same type of guy so it has become a pattern and this is why you are seeing it?

 

I have been heavily involved in a fantastic personal assessment study that has compiled a number of different assessments and shows to be a very comprehensive look at individuals on their thinking, behavioral and motivational styles. The profound piece, there is almost NOTHING gender prevalent. There are breakdowns in these three areas but both men and women show traits in each dynamic.

 

So what it says, while for some economics, ROI/money, etc. will be a high priority for others this is not the case. Anyway a very interesting assessment tool and something I recommend for everyone for both business and personal. Really learn a lot about yourself and others, some very humbling.

[RedRobin]

RR- understand that there are actually mature men out there that it is an even give and take without all the tripping through ego patties. They are actually confident in themselves so her making more money is really just icing on the cake. The one piece you may have to look at is are you dating the same type of guy so it has become a pattern and this is why you are seeing it?

 

 

Dating the same type of guy? don't think so... I've dated millionaires, a politician, construction workers, engineers, and musicians (among others).

 

 

You are right... not all of them have those issues. Usually only the ones who make less or are not happy with their lot in life for whatever reason. Be it a tough divorce, a brutal and unforgiving workplace, or just run of the mill insecurity.

 

I have been heavily involved in a fantastic personal assessment study that has compiled a number of different assessments and shows to be a very comprehensive look at individuals on their thinking, behavioral and motivational styles. The profound piece, there is almost NOTHING gender prevalent. There are breakdowns in these three areas but both men and women show traits in each dynamic.

So what it says, while for some economics, ROI/money, etc. will be a high priority for others this is not the case. Anyway a very interesting assessment tool and something I recommend for everyone for both business and personal. Really learn a lot about yourself and others, some very humbling.

 

 

I don't doubt that at all.

[RedRobin]

Shrug, I remember her saying she was talking to someone here and they asked her out then threw a hissy fit when she said no. I know you yourself were referring to inside jokes you two had and joking about meeting up for a while around the same time, but aren't any longer and you both live near/in New York so it makes sense. But maybe there's a mystery suitor I'm unaware of.

 

 

No, that wasn't him. The guy I mentioned was someone I chatted on the phone with a few times. He tried to convince me that a LDR might work, which I'm not a fan of. All I did was say I preferred to be friends. He got very mean here.

 

I take it back that you're not interested in managing a guy's ego.

Well it seemed like a blunt correction in front of a lot of other people, who might have taken the context to mean I should have known in the first place. For a guy who prides himself on being knowledgeable that might dent his self image a little. But to be honest I'm probably focusing too much on your behavior here when it comes to how you behave in your dating life. You are the woman who let one guy ramble on endlessly about weather patterns or some boring nonsense like that. I don't think many women would go to those lengths for a guy. Maybe do anal, or get dressed up in a ridiculous star trek outfit for roleplay, but not that.

I got over cocky and just sent a picture instead of trying to talk to her first. My one and only failure. I've always found the people who are honest and comfortable with their success and their failures, who they really are, the most interesting and lovable so why not share.

I'd like it to be noted how easily some of you feel slighted... oh, I was a little blunt in telling you I had a PhD... yet people suggest I go lesbian and I'm supposed to laugh that off... and use my diplomatic skills to even attempt to orchestrate an apology or some other meeting of the minds. It was ultimately resolved, but please take a moment to ponder how exhausting that can be. Always walking on eggshells or walking around ego patties like another poster suggested.

 

 

... and about the guy rambling about Von Karmen vortices... I found that fascinating. I love geeking out with a guy. One of my favorite things. That was not going to great lengths for me. It was a fun conversation where we shared mutual interests.

 

 

... and this IS on topic... the topic being... a woman's earning capability... or really anything that demonstrates competence in an area the guy might not be AS competent as her. No matter what she does to manage his ego.

 

 

It doesn't seem to take much if anything for some guys to coil up into little insecurity balls or lash out in some way if they are perceived as anything less than superior to a woman in just about every way that is socially valuable. Of course, the things that are less socially valuable are easy to hand over to women... even expected.

[gaius]

I'd like it to be noted how easily some of you feel slighted... oh, I was a little blunt in telling you I had a PhD... yet people suggest I go lesbian and I'm supposed to laugh that off... and use my diplomatic skills to even attempt to orchestrate an apology or some other meeting of the minds. It was ultimately resolved, but please take a moment to ponder how exhausting that can be. Always walking on eggshells or walking around ego patties like another poster suggested.

 

 

... and about the guy rambling about Von Karmen vortices... I found that fascinating. I love geeking out with a guy. One of my favorite things. That was not going to great lengths for me. It was a fun conversation where we shared mutual interests.

 

 

... and this IS on topic... the topic being... a woman's earning capability... or really anything that demonstrates competence in an area the guy might not be AS competent as her. No matter what she does to manage his ego.

 

 

It doesn't seem to take much if anything for some guys to coil up into little insecurity balls or lash out in some way if they are perceived as anything less than superior to a woman in just about every way that is socially valuable. Of course, the things that are less socially valuable are easy to hand over to women... even expected.

I know how exhausting it can be Red. I was driving with my girlfriend one time, noticed a statue of a woman with large, bare breasts sitting in the town square for some reason and commented on it. Bad idea. Guys have to work at ego managing too a lot of times. Don't even get me started on when she was sitting in front of the window to the pool and there were all kinds of women in bikinis parading around behind her. I don't think I worked harder in my life trying to keep my eyes totally fixed on her that day. But it was all worth it because she was so awesome.

 

I love your posts but it kind of sucks seeing you have to pour some of that sexual energy into the board instead of where it belongs. And I think what I said might help toward resolving that. But you know what you need and want way better than I do. My advice is probably based more on my need to see you have a happy ending than your needs. So I'll just leave it at that.

Edited January 14, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[RedRobin]

I know how exhausting it can be Red. I was driving with my girlfriend one time, noticed a statue of a woman with large, bare breasts sitting in the town square for some reason and commented on it. Bad idea. Guys have to work at ego managing too a lot of times. Don't even get me started on when she was sitting in front of the window to the pool and there were all kinds of women in bikinis parading around behind her. I don't think I worked harder in my life trying to keep my eyes totally fixed on her that day. But it was all worth it because she was so awesome.

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lol, that did occur to me... Thankfully, discussions about "does my *ss look fat?" and that kind of thing stopped when I was in my early 20's.

 

I love your posts but it kind of sucks seeing you have to pour some of that sexual energy into the board instead of where it belongs. And I think what I said might help toward resolving that.

 

Yea, I hear ya on that one.

 

But you know what you need and want way better than I do. My advice is probably based more on my need to see you have a happy ending than your needs. So I'll just leave it at that.

 

okay... Appreciate that. Maybe do us overachievers a favor and stop agreeing with the status quo We really aren't trying to show guys up. Well, not our partners anyway. My partner is the very last one I'd want to compete with. I don't even like competing at all. I like pushing myself to see what I'm capable of and learning new things. That's all.

Edited January 14, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator