interfuse Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Who's in one? I am. Has your SO ever been distant due to the stress of his work? My boyfriend has been and I was wondering if anyone's been through that. How is communication? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I was. I didn't even get a "dear john" letter. When I got back she was gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Who's in one? I am. Has your SO ever been distant due to the stress of his work? My boyfriend has been and I was wondering if anyone's been through that. How is communication? I have experience of it. He talks about work when on leave but not much while he is on duty. I'm ok with that and I'm ok with how he handles it as long as I hear from him on a fairly regular basis. He spends a lot of his leave with me. How often do you see him? How often do you talk about anything of substance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author interfuse Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 So far he's been seeing me one weekend a month (three days). He could try his best to do two, but he has other expenses that needs to be paid. He doesn't need to take leave to come see me. It takes him 6-6 1/2 hours to drive to come see me. Communication has never been full on conversations and I'm actually okay with that. I just want him to tell me what's going on and some stuff and show me affection and that he's into me still. He's been lacking that lately now and he says it's work annoyance and stress. In person we cuddle and kiss/make-out and talk a lot more. It's a lot more normal in person. My friends suggest I should tell him what I want and need in a relationship. That is a very good idea. He talks about his future to me and do hope to marry me so I can move with him after he PCS to his new base in June. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 So far he's been seeing me one weekend a month (three days). He could try his best to do two, but he has other expenses that needs to be paid. He doesn't need to take leave to come see me. It takes him 6-6 1/2 hours to drive to come see me. Communication has never been full on conversations and I'm actually okay with that. I just want him to tell me what's going on and some stuff and show me affection and that he's into me still. He's been lacking that lately now and he says it's work annoyance and stress. In person we cuddle and kiss/make-out and talk a lot more. It's a lot more normal in person. My friends suggest I should tell him what I want and need in a relationship. That is a very good idea. He talks about his future to me and do hope to marry me so I can move with him after he PCS to his new base in June. Yes you should talk to him but make sure it's in person. Do listen to what he says though and make clear that you understand this kind of relationship is very different from civilian ones due to the pressures he faces. Tell him what you need but without making him feel that there is another set of rules he has to abide by. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about work while away, if that's the issue tell him to chat about anything else. Maybe it's how he handles your separation from each other. I'm sure he misses you too. Just try to find out basically what the middle ground is. What is behind his lack of communication rather than the generic 'it's stress' response. Though if he is the kind of guy who is single minded and focuses on the job, he will definitely need a nudge. Link to post Share on other sites
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