secretly still waiting for a breadcrumb..

[somedude81]

Or my favorite:

 

"I know"

Yup

 

I was going to write that as well.

 

It's so Han Solo.

[polynomial]

I still keep checking my phone like 50 times a day. When will I let go..

[Simon Phoenix]

I still keep checking my phone like 50 times a day. When will I let go..

 

You need to block him, just so you stop checking your phone like you have OCD.

[polynomial]

You need to block him, just so you stop checking your phone like you have OCD.

 

My telephone service doesn't provide number blocking. And I can't change the number because I still have to pay for the phone until summer, it's in the contract, I tried to change it :/ So.. :o

[Simon Phoenix]

My telephone service doesn't provide number blocking. And I can't change the number because I still have to pay for the phone until summer, it's in the contract, I tried to change it :/ So.. :o

 

Why would changing the number affect payment? It'd still be the same account -- you aren't opening another one.

[FnlyFrei]

Polynominal, it sounds like we are in nearly the same exact boat. This breakup/get back together thing is like an addiction. You split, your mourn, you are almost over it, he comes back, you have a honeymoon period..then back to the same place you started/ended. I for one, need to get off this crazy ride. It isn't fun anymore !

[somedude81]

Polynominal, it sounds like we are in nearly the same exact boat. This breakup/get back together thing is like an addiction. You split, your mourn, you are almost over it, he comes back, you have a honeymoon period..then back to the same place you started/ended. I for one, need to get off this crazy ride. It isn't fun anymore !

There's a get back together break up again ride?

 

Where does the line start?

[David87]

There's a get back together break up again ride?

 

Where does the line start?

 

Somedude there's no such thing, move on.

[polynomial]

Why would changing the number affect payment? It'd still be the same account -- you aren't opening another one.

 

It just is, I asked them and they said changing the number under my current contract would cost like 300 dollars, which is, honestly, laughable, but they said so.. :S

 

Polynominal, it sounds like we are in nearly the same exact boat. This breakup/get back together thing is like an addiction. You split, your mourn, you are almost over it, he comes back, you have a honeymoon period..then back to the same place you started/ended. I for one, need to get off this crazy ride. It isn't fun anymore !

 

Yep, I need to get off of it, too! Well, I am actually off of it. Now I just need to push through and finally get over him as well. Keep it up

[mantlefan]

I read these stories and STILL wish a little bit that my ex and I would try one more time (she dumped me 5 months ago for my friend, we haven't ever tried again so it's not on-off...yet).

 

 

Somebody slap me for wanting this cruel chick back.

[pickflicker]

Somedude there's no such thing, move on.

 

Oh yes there is. The rinse-and-repeat relationship. Member of the opposite sex chases you, they land you, a few months in they become aloof and ignore you, they disappear, a few months later, just when you're beginning to get over them, they pop back up, saying things like "I love you so much/can't live without you", you think it's all good, you sleep with them again, they become aloof, they disappear aaaaand....rinse and repeat. Sometimes for years.

 

You convince yourself that they must love you so much because they keep coming back, but in reality, they're just using you, because you're such an easy mark. Often, you're the "affair partner" - they have a husband/wife and you're the bit on the side. That's why you rarely meet their friends or family.

 

It's very, very real.

[David87]

Oh yes there is. The rinse-and-repeat relationship. Member of the opposite sex chases you, they land you, a few months in they become aloof and ignore you, they disappear, a few months later, just when you're beginning to get over them, they pop back up, saying things like "I love you so much/can't live without you", you think it's all good, you sleep with them again, they become aloof, they disappear aaaaand....rinse and repeat. Sometimes for years.

 

You convince yourself that they must love you so much because they keep coming back, but in reality, they're just using you, because you're such an easy mark. Often, you're the "affair partner" - they have a husband/wife and you're the bit on the side. That's why you rarely meet their friends or family.

 

It's very, very real.

 

I know they exist, but I was refering to somedude situation. I don't want him to get his hopes up because we all know his situation and he needs to move on.

[LostConfused123]

I read these stories and STILL wish a little bit that my ex and I would try one more time (she dumped me 5 months ago for my friend, we haven't ever tried again so it's not on-off...yet).

 

 

Somebody slap me for wanting this cruel chick back.

((virtual biotch slap!!))

 

Okay, my turn

[pickflicker]

I know they exist, but I was refering to somedude situation. I don't want him to get his hopes up because we all know his situation and he needs to move on.

 

But his situation had nothing to do with the OP's. She and a couple of others are living the rinse-and-repeat relationship. It's extremely real. They need to see it for what it is, or be trapped in an indefinite spiral.

[what_a_blonde]

I read this thread earlier in the week and it kind of applies to me as well.

 

Let me just tell you... I received my lovely "breadcrumbs" this Thursday (a day after reading this thread)... and its only caused more frustration and annoyance than it has anything else.

 

Many people have already mentioned that it opens up old wounds, etc.

 

Well I'm here to confirm that, no matter how much you think you are "over" the situation and can handle whatever comes your way, breadcrumbs will open the wounds (if you're the dumpee, or the one who was hurt essentially).

 

Let me end with - BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

[destroyed4sho]

I realise it would probably set back my healing process but i cant stop waiting for a breadcrumb from my ex. realistically i know our relationship would never work again as it has proved to fail time after time but i still long to know that he misses me.. maybe he does though but knows that sending breadcrumbs wouldnt help the situation..

 

Ive been there. When you do get one, it will Not be the "i love you , please lets start over" type of message. It will be the type of message that is stupid friendly and obviously gauging at where you are at in life for the sole purpose of ego or curiosity. This message will be disappointing and leave you massively depressed for a while.

[somedude81]

Oh yes there is. The rinse-and-repeat relationship. Member of the opposite sex chases you, they land you, a few months in they become aloof and ignore you, they disappear, a few months later, just when you're beginning to get over them, they pop back up, saying things like "I love you so much/can't live without you", you think it's all good, you sleep with them again, they become aloof, they disappear aaaaand....rinse and repeat. Sometimes for years.

 

You convince yourself that they must love you so much because they keep coming back, but in reality, they're just using you, because you're such an easy mark. Often, you're the "affair partner" - they have a husband/wife and you're the bit on the side. That's why you rarely meet their friends or family.

 

It's very, very real.

Ah, I understand.

 

So if I was the one who dumped her and then wanted to get back with her and then dumped her again, that would count as the "rinse-and-repeat relationship." Or if she wanted to get back with me, and then dumped me again and so on.

[pickflicker]

Ah, I understand.

 

So if I was the one who dumped her and then wanted to get back with her and then dumped her again, that would count as the "rinse-and-repeat relationship." Or if she wanted to get back with me, and then dumped me again and so on.

 

The rinse-and-repeat relationship is a deliberately manipulative act. It's not a case of "second chance didn't work out". It is a calculated move on the part of one person, to extort sex from the other. It can go on for years. It is generally the modus operandi of a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Edited January 11, 2014 by pickflicker

[somedude81]

The rinse-and-repeat relationship is a deliberately manipulative act. It's not a case of "second chance didn't work out". It is a calculated move on the part of one person, to extort sex from the other. It can go on for years. It is generally the modus operandi of a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Oh, that's what I wasn't talking about at all.

 

That sounds pretty horrible.

[pickflicker]

Oh, that's what I wasn't talking about at all.

 

That sounds pretty horrible.

 

No, you were taking about a 'second chance gone wrong'. Totally different scenario.

 

What the OP has is definitely the rinse-and-repeat. It ruins your confidence and makes you obsessive and dependent on the perpetrator. It's an abusive relationship, minus the bruises and broken bones.

[AnyaNova]

I read these stories and STILL wish a little bit that my ex and I would try one more time (she dumped me 5 months ago for my friend, we haven't ever tried again so it's not on-off...yet).

 

 

Somebody slap me for wanting this cruel chick back.

 

Look, there is still a small part of me that wants back a dude who unleashed the sweetest and most unintentional jedi mind **** of the century on me.

 

At the end of January it will be 5 months since the last meeting my ex and I had.

 

It is only a little part. It isn't a huge engulfing pain.

 

Just a little twinge here and there.

 

But I'm certainly not going to slap you. I'm sorry she dumped you for a friend, that is really nasty.

 

But I still, stupidly wish for at least one breadcrumb, one sign that I'm worth more than a fart in the wind, or a crushed ant under his shoe to him.

[Kalinka1]

People, I have been scrutinised on this forum because I am still holding on and waiting for those breadcrumbs. But while we all wait, let me dump some Shakespeare on you, which has helped me today to try and *not* to wait for anything from my ex:

 

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

 

Let's just accept that they never truly loved and stop caring about breadcrumbs or anything. There is someone out there for all of us who will give us this love. I firmly believe that.

[Xemyd]

Look, there is still a small part of me that wants back a dude who unleashed the sweetest and most unintentional jedi mind **** of the century on me..

 

 

Oh my god! I feel ya, but this just made my day. Perfect description of it.

[AnyaNova]

Oh my god! I feel ya, but this just made my day. Perfect description of it.

 

I don't think there is any other for it. It seems like extreme attachment and family issues were probably at the root of it, but given the nature of said sweet and unintentional JMF, all I have is speculation. No answers, no understanding whatsoever.

 

I am glad though that you enjoyed the turn of phrase.

[LoveShook]

I still keep checking my phone like 50 times a day. When will I let go..

 

"Hi, How are you today? I was thinking about you."

 

You will be washed with emotions. Youll have temporary satisfaction followed by wanting more. My ex ended things 11 months ago. I wasnt happy in the relationship and stopped showing I cared. Heres how its going:

 

• She ended it.
  
• Moved in with a new guy right away and is still with him.
  
• Wanted to be friends.
  
• Told me after a few months she cant be friends because she still feels something for me.
  
• I told her dont contact me then.
  
• She continued to contact even though I never responded.
  
• I had to respond to her for business reasons.
  
• We text back and forth.
  
• She begins to text every one or two days.
  
• Feelings I had shut down begin to resurface for me.
  
• I realize its an ideal Im having feelings for. Not reality.
  
• I explain to her.
  
• She tells me she has residual feelings for me and still feels something. Says eventually we will be ok.
  
• I tell her we shouldnt talk anymore.
  
• She says I really do not want that.
  

Thats where I am after 11 months. Sounds fun? No. If I had to do it over again, I would have immediately stopped talking. I thought I could be friends. But with her bringing her emotions into it, it makes that hard.

 

She is a text a way. I know she will respond within a few minutes if I text her. She will contact me again at her own volition at some point. Im not looking forward to it. I initially blocked emotions because after being together for over 5 years they had faded anyway. But Im getting dragged back into it. Its not as great as you think. I cant imagine still being in love, dumped, and being pulled along this whole time.