julzfromsa Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Guys NC NC NC. Everything else but NC is an excuse. For your own health and heart, go NC. I promise it better than looking at your phone 50 times a minute. It better than hoping for nothing. Might sound harsh but pretend that person is dead.. It helps me, but Its also just me, my opinion. Julz 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mantlefan Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Everything else but NC is an excuse... ...Might sound harsh but pretend that person is dead.. Listen to this man... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I feel the same way, but just like the other who've posted here, "What would be the point?" Sometimes, I get this overwhelming need to have any kind of connection to my ex. I think about if he regrets any of the awful things he's done to me. If he misses me. If he realizes that what he did was wrong... But as a friend of mine boldly put it, "If he hasn’t gotten back to you now, he’s never going to come back. If he stopped caring, he’s not going to magically start caring. You need to let him go. Let him go because you’re ending up the way you are. You’re going to be so caught up that won’t be able to see the right guy when he’s right in front of you. So stop... He’s not coming back." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
julzfromsa Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Its hard to accept but when you find peace with it, you heal.. I still maintain, the first and most crucial part to healing (was for me), is to come to peace with the fact that "they" just DO NOT love you anymore. Nothing will change the way they feel. Its hard, its sucks, but take a week, take two weeks of repeating this to yourself. I had to speak about this for almost a month everyday to my parents. I cried, and cried. Everyday my parents had to repeat it to me. "She doesn't love you". It hurt and still hurts but I can survive now.. Im with you, Link to post Share on other sites
wildsunandmoon Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Guys NC NC NC. Everything else but NC is an excuse. For your own health and heart, go NC. I promise it better than looking at your phone 50 times a minute. It better than hoping for nothing. Might sound harsh but pretend that person is dead.. It helps me, but Its also just me, my opinion. Julz NC to the end. I second this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 12, 2014 Author Share Posted January 12, 2014 Its hard to accept but when you find peace with it, you heal.. I still maintain, the first and most crucial part to healing (was for me), is to come to peace with the fact that "they" just DO NOT love you anymore. Nothing will change the way they feel. Its hard, its sucks, but take a week, take two weeks of repeating this to yourself. I had to speak about this for almost a month everyday to my parents. I cried, and cried. Everyday my parents had to repeat it to me. "She doesn't love you". It hurt and still hurts but I can survive now.. Im with you, I admire your strength. And I really like the "pretend they're dead" idea. I mean, they checked out of my life, so to me, they are kind of dead now. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hurts2death Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 (edited) they rasonally chose to leave us. to turn back on us. to give us the cold kiss. like juden. gigs migs figs. i font know about science explanation all i know is abandonment from loved ones pains like hell. i could easily take bullets in exchabge or be run over by a car. Edited January 12, 2014 by hurts2death Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 they rasonally chose to leave us. to turn back on us. to give us the cold kiss. like juden. gigs migs figs. i font know about science explanation all i know is abandonment from loved ones pains like hell. i could easily take bullets in exchabge or be run over by a car. I think that is a wee bit dramatic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 But my ex blocked my mom and one of my friends he has never even met on fb (he blocked me over a week ago). Im just wondering why?? doesnt seem to serve any purpose, if hes.worried about me.keeping tabs on him and stalking, i could do millions of new accounts for that.. plus nothing on his.profile is visible outside his friends list anyway.. seems so weird to block them out of the blue Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 But my ex blocked my mom and one of my friends he has never even met on fb (he blocked me over a week ago). Im just wondering why?? doesnt seem to serve any purpose, if hes.worried about me.keeping tabs on him and stalking, i could do millions of new accounts for that.. plus nothing on his.profile is visible outside his friends list anyway.. seems so weird to block them out of the blue It makes sense to me. In the past, I have blocked exes and everyone connected to them, just in case I heard something I didn't want to. From what you've told us, being shot of him is no great loss. And frankly, your mother having your boyfriend on Facebook is just inappropriate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 It makes sense to me. In the past, I have blocked exes and everyone connected to them, just in case I heard something I didn't want to. From what you've told us, being shot of him is no great loss. And frankly, your mother having your boyfriend on Facebook is just inappropriate. Noo, my mom has never even been friends with my ex on fb. Thats why its weird he suddenly started to block people that arent and have never been on his friends list Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Im just gonna let this one go.. after all he did me a favor and.jow.i cant check.his.profile anymore.. not gonna make a fake account for that lol. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Noo, my mom has never even been friends with my ex on fb. Thats why its weird he suddenly started to block people that arent and have never been on his friends list I don't think so. It's better to make sure ay and all people connected to an ex also don't have a means to contact you. If I was him, I'd do the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 I don't think so. It's better to make sure ay and all people connected to an ex also don't have a means to contact you. If I was him, I'd do the same thing. of all the time hes dumped me he has never even deleted me from fb. its just not lile him at all but whatever, i wasnt going to contact him before and i sure as hell am not going to.contact him now Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Noo, my mom has never even been friends with my ex on fb. Thats why its weird he suddenly started to block people that arent and have never been on his friends list yeah, that is weird but there could be a million reasons why. I hate the WHY???? Have to let that go!!!! It's exhausting, it hurts to think about and it really is none of our business anymore I know I keep saying this in other responses and threads but I really miss the days before FB. No contact back then was usually the only choice one had. Hang in there! You are doing great! You're wounds are still pretty fresh so you will most likely feel crappy for a little while longer (hence, these "triggers" or reminders or whatever) Day by day you are healing, even if you don't notice it right now. Sending you BIG HUGS!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 of all the time hes dumped me he has never even deleted me from fb. its just not lile him at all but whatever, i wasnt going to contact him before and i sure as hell am not going to.contact him now Read the line I bolded. This is problem because he's serious this time, why, exactly? He's made a proper commitment to end it. Finally. He did what you couldn't. If he didn't, you'd still be stuck in this rinse-and-repeat relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 Read the line I bolded. This is problem because he's serious this time, why, exactly? He's made a proper commitment to end it. Finally. He did what you couldn't. If he didn't, you'd still be stuck in this rinse-and-repeat relationship. Maybe thats whats hitting me so hard.. but its all for the best, i realise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author polynomial Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 yeah, that is weird but there could be a million reasons why. I hate the WHY???? Have to let that go!!!! It's exhausting, it hurts to think about and it really is none of our business anymore I know I keep saying this in other responses and threads but I really miss the days before FB. No contact back then was usually the only choice one had. Hang in there! You are doing great! You're wounds are still pretty fresh so you will most likely feel crappy for a little while longer (hence, these "triggers" or reminders or whatever) Day by day you are healing, even if you don't notice it right now. Sending you BIG HUGS!!!! Thanks. yeah fb games are silly yet they can hurt so much. oh well. at least this is a final statement that were over for good. Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Thanks. yeah fb games are silly yet they can hurt so much. oh well. at least this is a final statement that were over for good. Hang in there! This is a good step for you in admitting to yourself (one of the most DIFFICULT steps in recovery) that it is really over. Now the healing will begin. You have overcome a HUGE hurdle in admitting and accepting the demise of your relationship. Also in my opinion, the most painful. Admitting this HURTS!!! Oh, God does it hurt! But it is absolutely crucial in our recovery. Good job!!!! ((hugs!!)) Link to post Share on other sites
Softie Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 You know what I think we are all secretly waiting for a decent crumb, one that validates that our love wasn't for nothing, wasn't wasted. We all probably want to have either them back or want the last word, so that we are back in control. It's not wrong, I guess I still would love the Hollywood ending, however I am far enough along & realistic enough to know this won't happen. Knowing something won't happen Doesn't stop you wanting it though! If that makes sense?? Does a diabetic stop wanting chocolate just because it could kill them, or an alcoholic wanting a drink? They might choose not too have these things but still want them!! I just think some of us won't admit it for numerous reasons! :-) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Why want a breadcrumb off your ex when you can get a 3 course meal and Strawberry icecream from another person? Breadcrumbs, they dont quench your appetite they just make you hungrier. Really looking forward to that three course meal and strawberry ice cream right now. :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
songbyrd Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I totally understand that. Since I've gone NC, I've gotten several breadcrumbs but it all stopped 6 days ago. This is now the longest I've gone without hearing from him and it's killing me inside. I want more than a breadcrumb, I want the whole loaf! Link to post Share on other sites
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