Though she is an avid church go-er, she may still be a "wild child"

[irc333]

There's a woman I had recently reconnected with (that I knew from Meetup originally, but saw her on a dating site).

 

In the late 2000's, we had gone out on a couple of dates, but we lost touch but sometime after that, we'd run into each other at other "group" events....she's a good friend of a friend of mine...and well, I would sometimes see her around.

 

The thing is though, for a woman in her mid 40's (at the time), she seemed to be a bit of a "wild child", she hangs out with friends that are kind of "band groupies" and her pictures on FB are somewhat sexual in nature, though tasteful. (Sensual looks, low cut blouses, sexy poses with band members at the after parties).

 

I had recently reconnected with her today, and she still kind of have the same photos up of herself, the kinds that, well, seem to garner the attention of men (as you see in most FB profiles anyways), though....for a 48 year old woman, not entirely "age appropriate" to be doing.

 

But, she does have the "figure" for it, she works out, and is maybe proud of the fact, I dunno.

 

I was talking to her, and I was asking if she was available this Sat for a date....she said to me that she had plans with her friend and her friend's kid to see a movie, as well as attending services that evening at the "Such-N-Such" church.

 

I says to her, teasingly of course, "Church? The last I saw you out on <name of street during an event> , you seemed more of a wild child to me than a church go-er" and attached an "LOL" after that.

 

I mean, I'm only human myself, but I'm a bit of a conservative guy that isn't much into shenanigans when the alcohol is flowing.

 

Not sure if she's "Mellowed out" these days, however, if she hasn't, I find it funny how she can actually say to me she's an avid church go-er, but her Facebook profiles seem to give the impression she hasn't set foot in a church if you get my meaning. lol

 

Being that I'm seeking out a single, Christian woman....I dunno, I mean....if I see this kind of contradiction...I mean...what gives?

 

Since it's been a while since I've seen her, maybe there's more to her story?

[M30USA]

Going to church means nothing. It's a social group. It's distinct from the church that Jesus referred to, which is a spiritual body of his followers. Judge her based on how she behaves and speaks, alone.

[dichotomy]

My wife, who had been very reserved Christian before her first abusive marriage.... threw it all out the window for several years of wild child behavior - some bad stuff. No remorse, no regrets, no sin in her mind – until later when we got married and discussed with a church based therapist - then the views changed back.

 

Christians have a wide range of beliefs on behavior and practice. For example – what about a rich Christian who does not give to the poor?

 

I would say that in general Christians behave no better than not believers, but I think in the end they should at least understand that poor behavior and choices are not in keeping with God’s wishes for them.

[d0nnivain]

Sometimes you find the biggest hypocrites in Church. It just is.

 

 

As a kid growing up I would always be puzzled by my parents' insistence that we go to Church but even before services were over, they be out the door in the parking lot cussing that somebody parked them in & annoyed that they couldn't get to their next social event fast enough.

[M30USA]

My wife, who had been very reserved Christian before her first abusive marriage.... threw it all out the window for several years of wild child behavior - some bad stuff. No remorse, no regrets, no sin in her mind – until later when we got married and discussed with a church based therapist - then the views changed back.

 

Christians have a wide range of beliefs on behavior and practice. For example – what about a rich Christian who does not give to the poor?

 

I would say that in general Christians behave no better than not believers, but I think in the end they should at least understand that poor behavior and choices are not in keeping with God’s wishes for them.

 

I'd agree with you. But I actually believe the problem originates from incorrect doctrine. As they say, you are what you believe. What you believe, specifically, about God will absolutely determine how you live. If pastors keep preaching "God loves you! God loves you!" without ever speaking about hell and the consequences of sin even among believes, why WOULD anyone act different than the world? It's all logical. The church will perish because of its doctrine and lack of knowledge. Actions and behavior is merely secondary.

[irc333]

I guess so, but having seen this mid 40's woman take her top off (don't worry, her bra was on), and going "wooooooo!!" and then going to church the morning after....I dunno about that. Then a cop rolled up on a bike and told her to put the drink down.

 

I kind of teased her, "Hope you don't burst into flame when you walk into church, Lol"

 

I mean, I'm not perfect by any means, but I've never been much to partake in such Shenanigans, even when I was in my college years.

 

My wife, who had been very reserved Christian before her first abusive marriage.... threw it all out the window for several years of wild child behavior - some bad stuff. No remorse, no regrets, no sin in her mind – until later when we got married and discussed with a church based therapist - then the views changed back.

 

Christians have a wide range of beliefs on behavior and practice. For example – what about a rich Christian who does not give to the poor?

 

I would say that in general Christians behave no better than not believers, but I think in the end they should at least understand that poor behavior and choices are not in keeping with God’s wishes for them.

[irc333]

I even had a woman that I met through church that just wanted to do Friends with Benefits, I refused (and really couldn't believe it myself) I was liking her a lot, but she said she could never see herself dating me.

[TheFinalWord]

There's a woman I had recently reconnected with (that I knew from Meetup originally, but saw her on a dating site).

 

In the late 2000's, we had gone out on a couple of dates, but we lost touch but sometime after that, we'd run into each other at other "group" events....she's a good friend of a friend of mine...and well, I would sometimes see her around.

 

The thing is though, for a woman in her mid 40's (at the time), she seemed to be a bit of a "wild child", she hangs out with friends that are kind of "band groupies" and her pictures on FB are somewhat sexual in nature, though tasteful. (Sensual looks, low cut blouses, sexy poses with band members at the after parties).

 

I had recently reconnected with her today, and she still kind of have the same photos up of herself, the kinds that, well, seem to garner the attention of men (as you see in most FB profiles anyways), though....for a 48 year old woman, not entirely "age appropriate" to be doing.

 

But, she does have the "figure" for it, she works out, and is maybe proud of the fact, I dunno.

 

I was talking to her, and I was asking if she was available this Sat for a date....she said to me that she had plans with her friend and her friend's kid to see a movie, as well as attending services that evening at the "Such-N-Such" church.

 

I says to her, teasingly of course, "Church? The last I saw you out on <name of street during an event> , you seemed more of a wild child to me than a church go-er" and attached an "LOL" after that.

 

I mean, I'm only human myself, but I'm a bit of a conservative guy that isn't much into shenanigans when the alcohol is flowing.

 

Not sure if she's "Mellowed out" these days, however, if she hasn't, I find it funny how she can actually say to me she's an avid church go-er, but her Facebook profiles seem to give the impression she hasn't set foot in a church if you get my meaning. lol

 

Being that I'm seeking out a single, Christian woman....I dunno, I mean....if I see this kind of contradiction...I mean...what gives?

 

Since it's been a while since I've seen her, maybe there's more to her story?

 

Unfortunately, most Christians do not read or study the bible, independently (which is what the bible instructs Christians to do).

 

The bible says wisdom is the principle thing; to get wisdom. Those that ignore wisdom are called fools in the bible. Over 300 times, the bible says "if"...if you obey, if you follow..Wisdom is the ability to distinguish right from wrong, anticipate a consequence, seasons in life, people, etc. The bible is God's wisdom. For a Christian to know that (they had to to come to Christ, faith comes from hearing and hearing from the Word of God) and ignore that anyway is astounding, but very pervasive. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

 

If Christians are actively in the Word, they really won't need a pastor to tell them what is right and wrong (keeping clothes on and staying out of fornicating environments). Difference between right and wrong it will be natural to them and they will not find enjoyment in engaging in sin. And if they aren't in the word, the message delivered by the pastor is unlikely to make any significant difference, other than perhaps a motivational speech. The Spirit is a counselor and advisor. Meditating on the Word will amplify His voice in our lives. He also knows exactly where the person is and can provide them with a path of growth that is right for them (church often provides a cookie-cutter approach, which is not really a pastor's fault, especially if they are telling the congregation to study). But I have found the Holy Spirit is gentle and His yoke is light. He does not force His Will. If we ignore Him, it is to our disadvantage.

 

Peter taught that there are two types of Christians: those that drink milk and those eating meat. Paul said some will be saved as if by fire and their works burned up like hay, wood, and stubble. The fact is, some people never get off of the baby bottle, and there is nothing you can do about it besides pray for them. And, to a certain extent, there is only so much God can do about it. God will not always strive with man. Jesus asked how long would he have to bear with the unbelieving.

 

If you are desiring to grow in Christ, I recommend not to become yoked to an unbeliever or even to a believer that is not interested in maturing spiritually. Don't get me wrong, we all go through phases in which our faith is weak, but if a Christian can go decades without any change and can endure countless trials and not see the error in their ways...I wouldn't get mixed up in a relationship like that. Be glad you are getting enough up front to know to avoid the situation.

Edited January 11, 2014 by TheFinalWord

[Lobouspo]

I know strippers who are so-called Christians and attend regular Sunday services, and this is a evangelical "megachurch". They don't see the contradiction. The gospel has become watered down and user friendly. Lots of self righteous folks running around with poop all over themselves and pretending it's chocolate

[TheFinalWord]

Hmmm. Everyone can go to church

and be active there. But what make sense and

difference is giving your heart to Jesus.

And walk close wth him.

 

Comming everyday and joining church groups just

dont make you a child of God.

its giving your heart to Him and convertion that

we. All need also underwater batism.

 

Then God can work with you and help you

change your ways and make the difference.

 

 

Sounds like you judge her some how.

and you dont sound better then her.

It ok to go to church then to not go atall.

 

You may get to know her before having judgement.

even thou her pics may say something differenr.

 

Beside I get tierd of mostly men that talk about

I want a virgin a christian a good woman etc.

while they are sluts bad men and far from a good

christian themselves.

A bad men will stands in the way of a christian woman to

stay in the Lords pad.

So people need to get the type of people just like them.

 

"The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments" 1 Cor. 2

 

I do wonder from the OP that if she still has all of these pics, and you are seeking a Christian, why you would contact her for a date at all. You can see she isn't aligned and move on, but you seem to get yourself into these situations a lot. I can't figure out if it's some sore to defense mechanism on your part.

 

Either way, I do think if someone is acting totally anti-Christ we can have enough judgment to know not to get into a relationship. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...If we are considering ourselves "holier than thou", that is a whole other problem.

 

With women and dating, just ask God to show you. If He says no, than just move on. I wouldn't spend time analyzing her behaviors b/c like apple said you can become condemnation-oriented, which is a snare within itself. The main thing with asking God about a potential relationship is to refrain from looking for loop holes. If the bible already says to avoid a certain type of relationship you don't really have to ask God much about it.

Edited January 11, 2014 by TheFinalWord

[irc333]

Are they currently ACTIVE dancers or former dancers? That's what I was wondering with the woman I've known. Good friend of mine actually told me they couldn't see us dating and that we'd probably be mismatched anyhow.

 

I was like, "Really? YOU go to church?" (sorry, repeating myself, lol).

 

That "burst into flames" comment, I had to chuckle...I remember watching "Two and a Half Men" and Charlie was dating this rather psychopath woman that made him go to church with her, his housekeeper went with him, too.

 

She sat there, starring at him (his housekeeper) and he's like "What??" and she says, "I'm just waiting for you to burst into flames."

 

I know strippers who are so-called Christians and attend regular Sunday services, and this is a evangelical "megachurch". They don't see the contradiction. The gospel has become watered down and user friendly. Lots of self righteous folks running around with poop all over themselves and pretending it's chocolate

[irc333]

Hahaha that's a good one.

If Op is that christian like why would he go after such

A woman. It may say something about himself.

 

And I agree if its in the bible that something is wrong,its clear .

 

What it says about me, is that I'm still trying to figure it out if she's changed since the past 5 years I've known her. From talking with her a couple of times after having reconnected with her..she still hasn't change.

 

So I'll move on.

 

condemnation-oriented,

I don't know what that means. Explain please?

[dichotomy]

Deleted. Sorry.

Edited January 13, 2014 by dichotomy

[TheFinalWord]

I don't know what that means. Explain please?

 

It is a lot to summarize in a post. It is the entire idea behind judging based purely on scripture with righteous judgement vs. judging based on human thinking.

 

Here is what Jesus said...

 

The Pharisees challenged him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness; your testimony is not valid.” Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two witnesses is true. I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me.”

 

Here is a clip:

The Gospel of John - The Movie (part 1) - YouTube

 

Earlier, Christ showed pure intentions, not delivering His message, but His Father's message...

 

 

The Jews asked, “How did this man get such learning without having been taught?” Jesus answered, “My teaching is not my own. It comes from the one who sent me...Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”

 

 

 

Here is Paul teaching on this topic, when various believers were arguing about who was more righteous based on who taught them...

 

Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?

 

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

 

I hope it helps.

[Trimmer]

Going to church means nothing. It's a social group. It's distinct from the church that Jesus referred to, which is a spiritual body of his followers. Judge her based on how she behaves and speaks, alone.

...but no matter what you do, make sure that you judge her somehow!

 

Hahaha that's a good one.

If Op is that christian like why would he go after such

A woman. It may say something about himself.

I wonder if it says he was hoping that she has mellowed to the point that she's just "Christian-enough" to meet his threshold, but still wild enough to want to hook up. A delicate balance, but isn't everything?

 

 

OP, if we could have convinced you somehow that her behavior could be consistent with a sufficiently spiritually pure pursuit of Christianity, would you be attracted to her? Is her wild side somewhat attractive to you, if only you could be convinced that she walks closely enough to The Path? I'm not being as sarcastic as that may sound; I suppose it's kind of a rewording of TheFinalWord's comments about "looking for loopholes..."

Edited January 14, 2014 by Trimmer

[irc333]

Her wild side isn't attractive to me, I spoke with her recently...we actually reconnected on a dating site 5 years later.

 

From the vibe I got from her, she is still the tease she was then, kind of an attention seeker and probably looking for a man with a fat wallet.

 

I moved on, didn't take long for me she hasn't changed.

 

So...it's time I moved on. Topic's done.

 

 

 

...but no matter what you do, make sure that you judge her somehow!

 

 

I wonder if it says he was hoping that she has mellowed to the point that she's just "Christian-enough" to meet his threshold, but still wild enough to want to hook up. A delicate balance, but isn't everything?

 

 

OP, if we could have convinced you somehow that her behavior could be consistent with a sufficiently spiritually pure pursuit of Christianity, would you be attracted to her? Is her wild side somewhat attractive to you, if only you could be convinced that she walks closely enough to The Path? I'm not being as sarcastic as that may sound; I suppose it's kind of a rewording of TheFinalWord's comments about "looking for loopholes..."