blue963 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Saw him this morning. It was a nice time together. However, I just have this weird feeling that I really don't want this anymore. One little thing occurred (northing bad) but it caused a huge shift in my view of him. I am very calm and a little bewildered. Has anyone had this happen to them before? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 I had several of those moments. Often it lasted for a short time and I would withdraw and end up right back where I was with him. It was like flashes of clarity then forgetting the clarity again. How it eventually ended wasn't as a result of one of those moments, it was probably an accumulation of such moments that wore on me. However, in a recent non-A situation I did have such a moment of clarity and of why am I doing this?! Things didn't feel the same and I realized I needed way more and he could never provide it and yes after that feeling I ended things and didn't see him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 My lightbulb was on a dimmer switch and illumination came gradually. I'm finally working on cleaning up those cobwebs in the darkest corners now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Why, yes I have. I was in his lap snuggling with him, things were getting a little heavy. He stopped for a moment and said "Let's set a time I need to leave" as he always did. He was deathly afraid of getting caught. A little while later, I looked at him and thought "this is ridiculous. I love this man and he says he loves me." But this is stupid. I'm overflowing with joy being here, and so is he, but he is worried about what time to leave. Even though I take blame for my part, I decided I was of more value than this. We never even had dates or spent time anywhere special due to his fear. He would see me on his way home from work in his pickup once or rice per week a half hour to an hour, depending on his bravery that night. For 2 years! Link to post Share on other sites
HairTie Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Yes, I've absolutely had those moments. They tended to occur right after he left. Right before you get to see each other, you experience this "high". It's exciting. Thrilling. A complete feeling of elation. You're with them, and the feeling intensifies....until he has to make a phone call to the W, or he needs to check the time, or he has to be careful that your perfume doesn't rub onto his clothes. It's during those moments you see things for what they really are. But because you're so "high" while you're with him, you close one eye to the situation. Once he leaves, the reality sets in. He's not really yours. There's a time limit. What you think is there, really isn't. You allow this cycle to continue until you realize how it's beginning to effect YOUR life. Your perception of love, relationships, etc. That is when you make the choice to not be someone else's "escape" from reality. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Having one of those now.... he is begging to see me after 2 1/2 years... same old, same old.... you make me realize why I want to leave this marriage crap. We are great friends, I would prefer to leave it at that, and it's long distance so I have no connection to him where I live.. EVERY time, he senses I am whole he comes back. EVERY time I attempt to move on....it's sick, really. Link to post Share on other sites
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