summerlove Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 I need help to help my best friend. My best friend has been stuck on this one guy for almost 2 years. She dated him only 5 months in 03' but he cheated on her 3 out of those 5 months. After there break up in aug. 03'. They had no contact at all until jan. 04'. She's been sleeping with him and messing around with since jan 04' even though he had another serious relationship while messing around with my friend. I tired tell her it was wrong but she just did it over and over. She knew he had a younger girlfriend and that she could see him when she was in school and she did. She was like his affair or something. Even in high school he was know as a cheater!!!!( his never wanted just one) Now 05' is here and this guy broke up with his younger girl. Ever since he broke it off he has been treating my best friend like his new girlfriend. taking her out to eat movies , etc. making her feel like they were together again. as i say " putting her through hell". I've worried about her knowing he was just using her again. and yesterday he didn't call her. as she got all worried and when she finally did get him on the phone she said she heard a girl. She then got all paranoid! she then later on went and hunted him down last night. she found him and he said he was going to call her and she said he didn't act at all mad. There not dating! i don't understand y she did this. or let him do this to her again. He told her he would call last night and didn't and he hasn't called her all day. she has called me crying and say "but we've been so close for the past 2 weeks". i don't know what to say cause think she is crazy. i don't know how to finally get her to kiss this guys ass and say goodbye and never talk to him again. Even when they weren't together she didn't give any other guy a chance and 6-7 at least ask her out. Does anyone know how i can get her to just let go and realize that this guy is just using her?!!!!! and will be her man. once a cheater always a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
rita Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 i love meeting people like me whio is for love and trust and every thing in my life Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by bfaith258 Does anyone know how i can get her to just let go and realize that this guy is just using her?!!!!! There is no way to do this. You could strap her in a chair, and make her view solid proof - and it would make no difference. She will have to realize it on her own. I expect she already knows, though. Deep down we all know when we aren't loved. We just don't like to admit it to ourselves. Anyone who would dare point it out will be shot down immediately. Denial is a strong force. She keeps chasing him, and her own need has blinded her accepting the crumbs he is giving her as the full meal she should be enjoying. All you can do is be there for her as she repeatedly falls. She'll need a friend during this time. She really could benefit from some counseling to get to the root of why she pursues emotionally unavailable men, and you could suggest it - but all you can do is offer advice. Its up to her to accept. once a cheater always a cheater In her case, yes. That's not to say that under the right circumstances and with the right person - this guy will stop his cheating. Unfortunately, your friend is not that person and her relationship is not that circumstance. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 I know you don't want to hear this; but, the truth is, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Right or wrong, for better or worse, whether she keeps hooking up with this guy or not is not *your* choice to make. I know you care about her, but you need to realize that we all have to make our mistakes. You did all you could when you advised her to get out. She didn't take your advice, so she's just going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 You cant. People like the drama of a ****ty relationship sometimes. Gives them something to complain about. Dont let it get to you. She is the only one who can end the relationship. If she dosnt smarten up, its her own fault. But she will. So just back off, and do your own thing for a while. If she asks why you dont call much anymore, just tell her the truth. You couldnt stand the fact she was letting herself be treated like crap, and since she wouldnt listen to you, you opted to get out of the situation instead of worry about her. .....that was a run on sentence i know. But thats the best thing you can do. Because you cant help someone who dosnt want to be helped. She loves the torture. Let her figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 If you meddle within the relationship it will just turn her against you. You don't want that. Like what everyone else is saying she will have to learn the hard way. Just be there for her when she does. That's all you can do. Counselling is another good idea too. Link to post Share on other sites
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