Anyone Else Bullied In the Past

[Leigh 87]

I grew up in a place called Tasmania, at the bottom of Australia.

 

I might be going back there with a friend (from my new place) for a quick visit.

 

It brought about severe reactions from me, due to the fact I was severely bullied growing up there. Ate my lunch in the toilets. Waited outside class rooms often when I was late because I was too uncomfortable to walk in in front of everyone, because they all hated me and bullied me because I was unfortunate looking.

 

I was once very ugly and severely bullied for being bad looking. Now, I am quiet attractive by a lot of peoples standards (although nothing special I know) but frankly, I think I would be better looking than the majority of folks who bullied me.

 

If I see them around town I sort of feel like sticking it to them. WHO is ugly now, HUH?

 

:lmao::mad:

 

I have kept in great shape, I have very straight teeth, full lips and huge eyes with nice skin now. And a killer figure.

D/W I know I am not winning nay beauty contests, but I AM NOT the ugly girl everyone would make fun of.

 

..... In my past, in high school and primary school, I was notorious for being the "ugly" girl at school. I had awful skin, teeth and I was chubby with a big nose. Not big in size, just crooked really and bad in profile.

I went to an all girls school. The adjacent same -sex private schools all knew who I was; I was known as one of the "uglies" that people would talk about.

 

 

 

I lost my virginity with the other so called "ugly" guy that attended the all boys school across the road.

Within hours EVERYONE knew about it and EVERYONE pissed themselves laughing. It was hell. Everyone burst out laughing at me when I walked into class the next day.

 

 

People honestly thought it was a RIOT that the two known "uglies", fornicated.

 

 

 

I would just like to stick it to them. Although I do wish everyone the best! I hold no ill will towards them.

 

 

That's all.

[regine_phalange]

Tasmania? Wow! So exotic!

 

Usually the ones that look ungraceful in puberty (guilty of that too, big time! braces saved my life ) after their 20s have a very nice appearance. Most of the times the change is very stunning.

 

I used to be a bit different in elementary school because.... I had very curly short hair I could also read very fast because my mum teached me when I was very little. I remember at one point trying to read as slow as the other kids.

 

The first year was really bad. I was a very gentle and well mannered girl, also very quiet. That invited all the pric*s. I remember being pushed from the top of a muddy hill by those older kids! Thank god there were no rocks sticking out. Then I told my brother and he threatened them. My bro was a big kid for his age, so they were very afraid of him. But still, I was very lonely for a big amount of this year. But, close to the end of it, a new girl came and we became best friends and were drawing horses all day long.

 

Some years later, my best friend and her family left from the place I lived. I made other friends, and my bro graduated. That's when a girl started the bullying again. Very physical, she would push me on walls and stuff. Until one day I fought back and she had to go to the hospital with pains on the abdomen. I don't know what hurt more, my punch or her ego. After this, no one bullied me, ever again.

 

High school, I was also an ugly duckling with -now very long- puffy hair and braces. No one bullied though, I was just single for these whole 6 years. Then I found out how to handle my hair, took out the braces, plucked my eyebrows a bit, and ta daa! A normal person.

 

After many years, I found out that all of these children who were bullies were ALL coming from dysfunctional families, their mothers were victims of domestic abuse, and its very possible that they were victims as well. Kids replay what happens in their homes. I now can understand why they were so aggressive.

[Leigh 87]

I have to say, braces did truly help save my life, too.

 

What great story, thanks for sharing:bunny:

 

 

Everyone called me ugly back then. I was rather unpleasant to look at.

[regine_phalange]

I have to say, braces did truly help save my life, too.

 

What great story, thanks for sharing:bunny:

 

 

Everyone called me ugly back then. I was rather unpleasant to look at.

 

It's also the whole teenage tendency to overdramatize things such as appearance... Now, when I see teenagers with braces and frizzy hair and acne I just want to squeeze them adoringly.

[Arieswoman]

I was bullied unmercifully at school from about being 13 to about 17.

 

I was short, skinny, no bust and had straight greasy hair. My spots were so bad I had pimples on top of pimples. I had a facial deformity that caused my jaw to be misaligned so I looked like a bulldog.

I had consultations with a maxillo-facial surgeon but he wouldn't operate on my face until I was 21 because he wanted to wait until the bones had stoppped growing.

 

I was very short-sighted and the lenses in glasses I needed were so thick they looked like milk-bottle bottoms.

 

No-one wanted to be friends with me at school, so I developed into a "swot" and kept my head in books most of the time.

 

Now the positive results of all this.....

 

I learned how to be self-sufficient. I didn't need people and could choose who i wanted to be with.

 

I got good grades, from all the swotting, and went to Uni. I got a very good degree and from that a career.

 

When I was 20 I got the surgery done, my teeth fixed and got contact lenses. By this time my spots had gone but a bust had appeared. My life took off.

 

I rarely see any of those horrible kids from school who bullied me. Whenever I have seen them they haven't recognised me, so I just chuckle to myself.

[gaius]

I got it rough from one guy early on for wearing sweatpants all the time instead of jeans. Oddly enough that was before I got fat in middle school. After that I overheard stuff once in a while but not much directly to my face. Maybe they were afraid I would sit on them. The one thing I do remember is some guy suggesting one of the male teachers was diddling me since I would stay after school and hang out with him sometimes. I only had a single mom so I was always looking for male role models.

 

In the end like Aries said I think it had an overall net benefit. Toughens you up and makes you appreciate the good things in life more. As long as you don't obsess about it, which a lot of people can't seem to stop doing for some reason.

[nescafe1982]

Wow, Tasmania! I had no idea! That's a cool place to be from.

 

You're amazing from coming from that background into the confident woman you are today. It is hard being a teen girl, seriously. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, especially if you are distinct in some way (physical features, an accent, really anything).

 

I was bullied mercilessly growing up. I was tall and lanky. I was from Alaska, growing up in a Georgia suburb not known for its cosmopolitan outlook. I had a weird accent and a broad vocabulary for my age (thanks for military school). And I was poor, dressed in clothes with worn edges rather than the fancy name brand duds that all my suburbanite co-students wore. It didn't help that my parents were also abusive... so I got it at home, and then also at school.

 

Oh, and I have naturally textured, "frizzy" hair. So that went over gangbusters.

 

I don't really have any advice for coping with bullying, or how to move past its legacy. Because honestly, I just moved very far away from where I grew up, stopped associating with small-minded people, and pursued my dreams.

 

And I got a good hair-smoothing serum.

 

I'm pretty sure all the kids that bullied me in high school are still in that backwater town. Most of them peaked in high school... got pregnant, married, divorced to the same losers they dated at 15, 16 years old. Life never got any better than that for them. It's sad, actually.

 

So I take a not-insignificant degree of comfort in knowing that those of us who paid our dues in the old days have reaped rewards in these days. Right? I am who I am despite the bullying... but as a result of that horrible time in my life, I developed the courage to pursue what I want without regard for what other people say.

 

Because when you grew up having to hear all these harsh things from other people, it somehow makes it easier to disregard haters when it really counts now.

Edited January 11, 2014 by nescafe1982

[John316C]

sure, it happened to me a lot

[Trnamakesnse]

Being a short but very fat and unapproachable teen they attempted. I was usually oblivious as they didn't even get my attention and when they did it went badly for me. Most avoided me entirely and I gave them the same staying in my little nerdy fat kid world. Lost weight over the summer looked hot came back and turned down every single girl that was ever mean to me. Made a few friends two years later I graduated, life goes on meh.

[Bishop556]

I was bullied for being a shy boy in my middle school. It was harsh emotional abuse as everyone would call me "gay", "fag", "piece of ****", and so on. It really traumatized me for a few years unfortunately, considering the fact that I am actually bisexual.

[Keenly]

I was made fun of and kind of the outcast . I didn't have friends. I was kind of annoying.

 

 

But those experiences made me who I am today. Developed my sense of empathy. Strengthened my kindness, gave me thicker skin, taught me to stand up for myself, taught me how to deal with rude people.

 

It was necessary to becoming who I am today. I would not take it back.

[rooman]

I was made fun of for being from another country, not knowing any north american sports, having an accent, being skinny, having hairy legs before any of the other boys, being a quiet type, few friends... I had a lot going against me by purely being the 'new kid'

 

Not a single rational reason to really hate me was presented. No one knew the honest loyal guy I truely was, and willing to stick up for others. No, instead there were rumors of me being gay, etc were what people chose to believe in. I did not have a pleasant school experience. And School officials seemed to let it happen.

 

But I'm a stronger person now because of it.

[mea_M]

Yes. In HS a bit. Jealously do to my looks. Grew up in what I now called shallowville. Blew that Popsicle stand after HS and took away the lessons I

Learned as productive ones! The realization that I had far to much depth and do not feel living life skimming the surface was in any way appealing. Stronger person because of it.

 

Mea

[M30USA]

Everyone has gotten bullied. I have. In first grade there was a kid who pushed me into a wall every time he saw me. Isaac Newton was bullied too. He wanted to be a scientist so that he could rise above this. His father wanted him to be a farmer because it was a more reliable career. So maybe, while bullying is bad, it can serve a good purpose. Honestly, it toughens you up a little. And all forms of adversity build better character.

[bubbaganoosh]

When I was in the 8th grade, the older kids would pick on the younger kids and when we were on the school bus going home, the older kids would reach out and slap the back of your head. Not real hard but just to annoy you.

 

One day I was sitting in my seat on the bus and one of the older kids wore a ring and he turned it around so the heavy part was on the other side of his ring finger and he cut loose on my head that damn near knocked me out. Actually drew blood.

 

I was carrying my books with me and one was a large geography book and when he hit me, I lost my temper and I turned around and hit this kid square in the center of his face with the edge of the book and damn near knocked him out. Then I jumped over the back of the seat on to his and started swinging as hard as I could and made contact with his head and face a few times until I was pulled off.

 

Yeah I know that hitting is wrong and uncalled for and blah, blah, blah, but it was the last time I got hit in the back of the head by anyone on that bus. Naturally the kids mother called mine and I caught it from my dad but I didn't care. A tap on the head is one thing but to spin that ring around and use it as a weapon is another. Matter in fact, the bus driver told my parents that the kid who hit me got what was coming to him. That still didn't fly with my parents. This was in the era when parents ruled the house and you followed the rules or got your ass beat for it. Early 60's.

[carhill]

Reading the OP, I reflected upon the differences in person, gender and type of 'bullying' and how such acts, described generally, can affect us in vastly different ways.

 

I would describe the main negative aspect, viewed against the over aspects of my personality, which resulted from bullying, in my case physical assaults (threats of bodily harm) and battery (committing acts of bodily harm) is that, today, when I sense those sort of interactions, my mentality is 'go for the kill', literally. When in those situations today, I'm figuring out how to kill them. It's completely instinctive. I hate it when it happens. The last time I was accosted, in the grocery store parking lot of all places, I didn't even consider the person. I was looking for the proper shot lines and how to maneuver to take them out without hurting/endangering anyone else. Fortunately, the person, due to whatever motivation, backed away. Otherwise, I would have taken them out, fully cognizant of the potential legal and civil penalties. That's one result of constant and repetitive bullying over time. Others results will be different.

 

Understanding this dynamic, along with socialization, is why I generally pursue cooperative and collaborative solutions to conflict. I've seen the other way and know where it can go.

 

BTW, mixed bag on the childhood bullies I encountered, where I became aware of 'where they went' as adults. Living in the same demographic for 54, it has been possible to see that. Some went on to a life of interactions with law enforcement; others went on to a life of 'normal' adult behaviors and pursuits.

 

Will I get an award for not bullying anyone at the end of my life? Will they get a penalty for the acts of violence they perpetrated? I doubt either will happen. We'll merely die. Who risked more and was rewarded more during life is a matter of opinion and a different topic.

[CarrieT]

My breasts started growing when I was nine years old and by the age of 12, I was a full C-cup.

 

In walking past kids in the hall, they would pull out and stick long needles in my breasts, believing I was "stuffing" with balloons. Handful of girl gangs would follow me home to beat me up.

 

I hated, hated, hated high school.

[mercuryshadow]

Oh, yes!! I was an awkward pre-teen. I was very quiet, shy, unsure of myself... Very tom-boyish. However, I was very smart, athletic, etc. All of the more popular kids definitely made fun of me. I was outcast by many social groups and had just a few friends. As I approached 8th grade, I tried to improve my style, and boys did notice. The girls, however, did not like it. Their attitudes toward me did not really change. When I got to high school, a group of extremely mean spirited popular girls targeted me. By that time, I was tall, with a nice figure, had a better sense of style, was still smart, creative and quiet, and was relentlessly harassed until 10th grade. My grades dropped significantly. I was convinced I was ugly and worthless... I was pulled from the school and attended a private school after some months of therapy. At the new school, I was well liked and popular, but did not become a part of any cliques. I modeled, did well with my grades, learned to play guitar and became a vocalist... But I maintained a very harsh view of myself that remains to this day. Due to my experiences, I have a very distorted and hyper critical view of myself. I'm still working on overcoming it.

Edited January 13, 2014 by mercuryshadow

[Philosoraptor]

I was bullied for not being so called "cool". I grew up in an area full of wannabe gangsters so my intelligence really stood out. I had no interest in running the streets and getting the easy girls pregnant the the rest of the guys so I was ridiculed for anything they could possibly target (the way I dressed, shoes, etc.). Mostly just stupid things (looks were never an issue ). But at that age having pretty much everyone target you just kinda got under my skin. I eventually found a way to make them feel even more stupid for the way they were acting once I manned up around 11th grade and they suddenly stopped because they looked more foolish than before.

 

I still see them running the streets and looking like bums when I visit my parents. On the other hand I purchased my home at 22 and was in a full fledged career before I finished college. I'm sure they got the last laugh though as many of my tax dollars are going to support them.

[Shepp]

Everyone has gotten bullied.

 

I find it staggering in adult life how many you meet or talk to say they were given a rough time in school!!

 

 

I was never bullied at school - had the exchanged a few punches here and there sure, but nothing more than a "shake his hand" after.

But more than that I honestly can't recall ever seeing anyone get bullied - people would fall out yeah, maybe even have a rough week but I never saw anyone genuinely bullied.

Maybe my school was just easier going case it was fairly small, or maybe I just was too blind to notice it, dunno.

[EpicCentre]

Not bullied but rather punched/knocked out the hell out of me way back in 2012. We're now in college and have been friends since then. Not just that but now he's only less an inch shorter than me (nearly weights like me too) while I stayed at 6'2 since I was 16.

 

Though, it was completely deserved. I lost the fight to the then 5'8 kid aka friend Jeff.

Edited January 13, 2014 by EpicCentre

[Jmk21]

I was extremely bullied as a child until I was probably 10-12. I Had an older sister who beat on me daily until I was big enough to defend myself. School councilor thought my parents did it, sister had to attend anger management in grade school.

 

Emotionally abused by my mother who is a horrible person. Told me us kids ruined her life, Belittled me for everything. Having to have her give me a ride to school and I get screamed at because I have to wake her up , if she would wake up.(she had sole custody) left me alone at home for days without food going on her drug binges. Going to school in dirty clothes, cereal with water like every day

 

My life literally turned around when she went to prison and my father became my sole guardian. and when I finally beat my sister up. ( we're really really close now) I have forgave my sister , we were young

 

I look back on those times and cringe. What a horrible childhood I had and I left out quite a bit that happened during the custody battles. We were objects and not children to my mom.

 

Sometimes I wonder if it's why I can't hold a relationship for more than a few years. If it's why I shut down when emotional problems arise in my life instead of facing them outright. **** I don't know.

 

I'm 25 now. The first half of my life sucked big time. The second half has been nothing but great compared to it

 

My greatest fear is turning into the person my mother was. It drives me to be everything she wasn't. But at the same time makes me scared to have kids because I know what a suck childhood is

[nescafe1982]

Maybe my school was just easier going case it was fairly small, or maybe I just was too blind to notice it, dunno.

 

I think it is really easy to not see bullying when you haven't personally experienced it. That's why it persists in so many schools. If as a student, you didn't witness much bullying, you weren't alone: chances are, the teachers, principals, administrators, and parents didn't notice much of it either.

 

Something even more sinister that happens is that oftentimes, people with the power to stop bullying (school staff, e.g.) tend to identify with the bullies more easily than the victims. Especially if the victim has other alienating social issues. Bullies, more often than not, appear more "normal" than their victims.

 

I think the worst, most self-defeating aspect of the problem is that victims of bullying don't report what's happening to them. They internalize what is happening to them... and many of them start to wrap the mistreatment into a self-narrative of shame and guilt. They figuratively start to kick themselves around, compounding the knocks they get from other kids.

 

And to the poster who said "meh, everyone gets bullied:" No. Everyone gets their knocks. Everyone gets teased, takes a punch, gets their hair pulled, etc. Victims of bullying become persistent targets for psychological and physical abuse, and as they internalize their abuse, they develop a growing number of harassers (as people "join the bandwagon" and the abuse becomes increasingly normalized).

 

There's a difference in scale between everyday schoolyard antics and someone genuinely getting bullied. There's a mob mentality behind bullying... and sometimes, the people in charge join the mob.

Edited January 13, 2014 by nescafe1982

[Shepp]

I think it is really easy to not see bullying when you haven't personally experienced it. That's why it persists in so many schools. If as a student, you didn't witness much bullying, you weren't alone: chances are, the teachers, principals, administrators, and parents didn't notice much of it either.

Yeah maybe, like I would think I would, but then again maybe not. I was always with my own friends, spent most of my time on the football field so I probably wasn't really looking for signs of bullying or anything.

 

Yeah this is it and I think its one of those words that's banded about a lot 'bullying' I think there are people who use it too...lightly.

I did know a lad at school who'd always say he'd been bullied at the smallest comment. He wasn't, he was a nice lad I wouldn't of stood back and let it happen - his problem was he just needed a little bit of tougher skin and maybe the ability to laugh at himself a little more. It was like you say the very occasional bit of ribbing, it wasn't a " persistent targets for psychological and physical abuse" but I think using the word bullying for that just makes the word so casual and normalises it.

I think that's hurts the people who actually are because it makes lessens the way people think of bullying.