dreamcatcher975 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 my IC suggests that i need to go back to my H and for closure. Either closure to continue with the divorce or closure with this part of our marriage and move on with our lives together. She feels my husbands pride and ego are getting in the way of solving our problems and the distance really doesn't help. If i'm going to get anywhere with him (divorce or not) i need to be there. (I have seen her since the first week of being home so she knows a great deal of how i feel and what's been happening) Personally, i would like to go back. I want to work on our marriage because i feel like it could work. We just have to put in more work than usual. He has told me that i can go back but he'd just "avoid" me but his recent actions say otherwise (he was willing to travel to come and see me -- when confronted with it he said he "was being stupid" - pride. He was going back and forth with the idea like 5 times) He's been going up and down about being together so it could be possible that he's confused…i am too and i don't think me being away helps clear up the confusion for both of us. Maybe if i'm there we can talk about it and figure out what we can do. If i go back, i'd like us to go to MC .... if not i'd go IC by myself for awhile so i can continue on this positive vibe.. and see if he's willing to go to counseling too. He has said he's willing to go -- one of the reasons y he wanted to come to see me. I've realized some things while being away. The stress just got the best of me. I feel like i'm in a much better place than i was before. i'm more positive than i was and i think i've learned skills from my IC and lots of reading that i can apply when i'm there. I made the mistake of venting to my friends and family and i know they have the best interest but i see that maybe they were too biased (i know he's guilty of this too). I feel like i should've just figured this problem out on our own. however, i don't regret coming home -- i think i needed this to just get to clear my mind and give each other space. The problems in our marriage aren't that big. I feel our marriage was lacking efficient communication, and control issues (who leads.. he's in the military and i think it's just in him to 'lead'). There was no physical abuse, no drug or alcohol addictions. Just communication, parenting and control issues. I don't plan to go back right away. I want to test the waters and see if it's even really possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamcatcher975 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) I'm trying to be as positive as I can be through out this time. Just trying to figure out what I can do. Going back, even temporary.. Seems like the only thing to do that can offer some change. Thanks for letting me vent! I just wanted to hear from some of you that have been through something similar and how you worked through your issues? Was it difficult to get back into things after a long separation? Edited January 9, 2014 by dreamcatcher975 Adding Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts