theonersss Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Hey, im on day 9 of nc. I did everything wrong, begged pleaded cried. I had refused to commit to her,Then I started to read!! She sent me an email on day 6 saying she cant have a relationship with me but still wants to be friends (I have said no to this many times). She said she is very very angry with me. But is willing to meet me. We met once since the break up and It was obvious we are still very much in love. I didnt reply. Then found out she is repeatedly "appearing" at my work site(public place). And sure enough, I bumped into her. She held my arm and asked me how i was. I was nice enough but kinda blew her off and walked away. I want a chance to make this work as I know we both still love each other.(She told me she still loves me) any shot here?? PS. Decided to do at least 30 days nc just to get my act together. I wont reply or contact her for any reason Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Reconciliation requires communication. NC only works if you never want to speak to the person or deal with them again in any capacity. Do you know why she is angry at you? Have you addressed that issue? If she's showing up at your work, there may be hope. Ignoring her without telling her why for a whole month will surely sabotage any possibly of healing between you two but it may help you individually. Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 If you wanna fix something, talk it over. I don't recommend NC to get back toghehte,r that's used to forget people. I did Nc, when she came back i still had feelings and i did miss HER, but i did NC for so long i actually didn't care that much as i hoped. Soo...nah we didn't feel like a second chance would work anymore. My 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author theonersss Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 I never said I wouldn't commit to her. That was the reason for the split. I will commit and she knows this. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Reconciliation requires communication. NC only works if you never want to speak to the person or deal with them again in any capacity. Do you know why she is angry at you? Have you addressed that issue? If she's showing up at your work, there may be hope. Ignoring her without telling her why for a whole month will surely sabotage any possibly of healing between you two but it may help you individually. Eh. Reconciliation also can't happen if either one of them is still an emotional wreck. Once a breakup has happened, it's honestly best for both sides to take a short breather to regroup and reassess, even if they both want reconcilation. However, you're right that ignoring her without saying anything is a bad move if he thinks she's really still interested. OP, while I generally suggest the "fade away" approach, you may want to tell her that you see the problem you had (don't specify, she'll know too), you'd like to correct it, but you think that you'd both benefit from some space...at least briefly. Then get yourself together and reach out when you're ready. Don't put a date on it, just go with your gut. Link to post Share on other sites
2fargone Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Your reason for NC is valid. Communicate it to her though. Don't worry about if it looks manipulative. If that's what you need, it is what you should do. And in this case I think it's a good choice. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexfromBoston Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I wouldn't go NC...rather, I would limit my contact and remain cordial. I think its a good idea to wait out the 30 days and see how you feel. If she contacts you to meet up, go for it...and DO NOT bring up the past, nor beg for another chance. Just be the guy you were when you first started dating. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Stick to NC. Silence = power. In my book when chicks want to stay friends means romantic feelings were not true and she is on the prowl. Keep your 30 days. After that if what she said is the real reason, try what Alex said. I wouldn't go NC...rather, I would limit my contact and remain cordial. I think its a good idea to wait out the 30 days and see how you feel. If she contacts you to meet up, go for it...and DO NOT bring up the past, nor beg for another chance. Just be the guy you were when you first started dating. Link to post Share on other sites
thompkevin Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 If I were you, I'll just tell her that I need some space and time and I'll contact her after a while. You can say it in a manner that won't be offensive and she'd understand. There is no point in being rude to her. (read more about no contact rule here.) Say something like "Hey, I think I need some time to get my act together. And I am sure you can use some space and time as well. Let's just agree to not contact each other for 30 days. I am sure we'll both gain some perspective this way and can figure out what we want in life." Link to post Share on other sites
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