glowing Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I struggle with this question. Would I have fallen in love? How could I not. The moment I met him I already knew him. Would I have left my marriage? Yes. Absolutely. Would he have left his? Ditto. Would I have crossed that line? If I could do it again and know it would end up like this, absolutely not. We caused so much hurt and pain, and as a married couple deal with the repercussions constantly. But if the only way to get to here was there? Without a doubt. Every bit of punishment that is wreaked upon us is worth our being together. All of it. Always. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I struggle with this question. Would I have fallen in love? How could I not. The moment I met him I already knew him. Would I have left my marriage? Yes. Absolutely. Would he have left his? Ditto. Would I have crossed that line? If I could do it again and know it would end up like this, absolutely not. We caused so much hurt and pain, and as a married couple deal with the repercussions constantly. But if the only way to get to here was there? Without a doubt. Every bit of punishment that is wreaked upon us is worth our being together. All of it. Always. How did the two of you meet, Glowing? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I want to believe that everything we do or experience has a purpose, but I am still not quite there yet. So my answer is absolutely not. I wish I had never even known him. Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 yes....sometimes is is all about themselves. They make it appear that it is about you to soothe their conscience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GreySkyMorning Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I too can relate. But it was lip service. My exAP would go on and on about how much he tried to protect me and how he hated that it was hurting me blah blah. It wasn't that he was lying, it was that he wished it didn't hurt me but it still was and he wasn't going to do anything different sooo what did it matter? He also pulled this out when we argued to make it seem like HE was the good guy in all of this and was doing all he could for everyone and then he would try to manipulate me by saying "Fine..I'll leave you alone then since all I do is hurt you" . That was such a jerk move! I gotta quit coming here. Everytime I read this forum now, I read my xmm words coming from someone else. If I had a dollar for everytime I got the "I'll just leave you alone then since I'm just hurting you." Of course, then I'd always beg him not to go. Jerks. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
inappfriendly Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Same, GreySky! It's like they read it straight from a script courtesy of the Screen A**holes' Guild?! It makes me want to cry and vomit at the same time... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN! HELL TO THE NO! And now I hate him!!!!! tada 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 ...would you still have started the A? . Yes. I would have been more trusting and more chilled about the R and the course it took, and had less patience with the BW's nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I gotta quit coming here. Everytime I read this forum now, I read my xmm words coming from someone else. If I had a dollar for everytime I got the "I'll just leave you alone then since I'm just hurting you." Of course, then I'd always beg him not to go. Jerks. I hated this most of all..that my response was exactly as he wanted. He'd say it and sound like a selfless martyr and I would feel guilty for voicing my dissatisfaction and question myself like maybe I'm the one who can't appreciate the sacrifice of this great man ...and inevitably I would tell him of course that's not what I want, I don't want you to leave....and then things went right back to HIS comfortable status quo smh. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 So much hindsight after an A. My A was the poorest choice I have ever made in my life. It's like having an F on my record. I hate it, but I have learned from it and hope that I can help others who are in it or have experienced one. I do not tolerate friend's having A's and I am not pro A in any way now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 Lady D, I would be interested to read a topic on your last post. I think it would offer some insight of how you went from pro A to the opposite as well as how you are not only anti A but don't condone your friends having A's either. Probably be good discussion from all perspectives of the A parties** CIH 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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