Author hurtnomorerika Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 I just can't believe the lengths he has gone to. In my case, which wasn't child support, but small claims court, the man never showed up. His best friend worked in payroll, so the garnishment was then "misfiled" I filed something against his company for failing to garnish. The corporate lawyer was eviscerated by the judge and I had a check for the full amount the next day. He and his friend were both fired....BUT the company was doing layoffs, so this stunt just brought them into the line of fire. I'm just glad things are working out for you. You are probably the strongest person I will never meet. But, I agree with you not to "be kind and tell the wife". This is his situation, it won't be good coming from him on DDAY, and many people will tell me I'm wrong, but I just can't imagine hearing such news from a stranger. I don't think you could say it any better than how he will eventually HAVE to say it. "Mrs. Doe, I am very sorry, but I had an affair with your husband. I deeply regret the affair, have never done anything like this and never will again. But, your husband and I have a baby together and I do expect him to support her in all that the law requires. I'm sorry this is happening to you." Maybe some BS will say it is a kindness. I can normally close my eyes and put myself in the position of a BS (even though I am an OW, I have been cheated on, by boyfriends, not husband). This case, not so much. If this man has his wife snowed, like i am assuming he does...I honestly think my reaction would be, "you lying bleep, get off my bleep doorstep." I think telling BS would just turn into a shouting match, her constantly calling and harassing me. Who has time for that? Yes, she should know but it's his responsibility to tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtnomorerika Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 I just can't believe the lengths he has gone to. In my case, which wasn't child support, but small claims court, the man never showed up. His best friend worked in payroll, so the garnishment was then "misfiled" I filed something against his company for failing to garnish. The corporate lawyer was eviscerated by the judge and I had a check for the full amount the next day. He and his friend were both fired....BUT the company was doing layoffs, so this stunt just brought them into the line of fire. I'm just glad things are working out for you. You are probably the strongest person I will never meet. But, I agree with you not to "be kind and tell the wife". This is his situation, it won't be good coming from him on DDAY, and many people will tell me I'm wrong, but I just can't imagine hearing such news from a stranger. I don't think you could say it any better than how he will eventually HAVE to say it. "Mrs. Doe, I am very sorry, but I had an affair with your husband. I deeply regret the affair, have never done anything like this and never will again. But, your husband and I have a baby together and I do expect him to support her in all that the law requires. I'm sorry this is happening to you." Maybe some BS will say it is a kindness. I can normally close my eyes and put myself in the position of a BS (even though I am an OW, I have been cheated on, by boyfriends, not husband). This case, not so much. If this man has his wife snowed, like i am assuming he does...I honestly think my reaction would be, "you lying bleep, get off my bleep doorstep." I can't believer the lengths he's gone to either hide it. Just unbelievable. He should have never gotten married 1 Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Kat I'm puzzled why this is so important to you... No, I do not have children of my own. I did have a teenaged foster child. All I'm saying is I believe most custodial parents spend more than 25% of their income on their children. I think 25% is a measly amount when it is just a single parent. In my example, after childcare, all that a single income with no child support would have to stay within that 25% range is $188. It doesn't matter how old the child is, $188 won't make it a month. Do you get that I'm saying the non-custodial parent should have to pay more than 25% of their income in child support? Yes, Yes. I get that. I don't agree. And both parents should contribute for care of children. . UT it seemed as tho you didn't have kids of your own...because your statement of a child being severely neglected was and is an ignorant statement...I already explained this in another post above. Child support is to help pay for the child. Not help support expenses of the custodial parent. In your calculations above, you are not even counting the contribution of the custodial parent, which would allow for all needs. But there are many single parents who do just fine and don't leave their kids severely neglected even without support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I am happy you will have help with your child's expenses. I think this man is going to be paying allot in the end. When his wife finds out he maybe paying her child support and loosing half of what they own together.His actions and avoidance problems may have bit him in the but. Hopefully he learns something about honesty. Children are a blessing and deserve to be taken care of properly. I am glad you had the courage to get child support its pretty expensive. congratulations 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 What happens if he doesn't pay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtnomorerika Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 What happens if he doesn't pay? It will be taking out of pay automatically. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 It will be taking out of pay automatically. And if he doesn't pay due to no job, they will garnish a portion of any unemployment he gets...and if he decided to work under the table, and they have no record, then eventually he will lose his driver license, any professional license, and possibly face jail time, depending on the state. In my first hand knowledge, the man owes over $40K, drives without a license, and his love in supports him. He has several children and doesn't pay for any of them. The ones I know have never been severely neglected despite not receiving any child support from the absent father. ;-) Erica, just take care, you sound like you will handle your business whether this ass goes underground or not. Please consider sending the wife anonymous info. Put yourself in her shoes.would you want to waste your life married to this fool? Link to post Share on other sites
Lady2163 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Yes, Yes. I get that. I don't agree. And both parents should contribute for care of children. . UT it seemed as tho you didn't have kids of your own...because your statement of a child being severely neglected was and is an ignorant statement...I already explained this in another post above. Child support is to help pay for the child. Not help support expenses of the custodial parent. In your calculations above, you are not even counting the contribution of the custodial parent, which would allow for all needs. But there are many single parents who do just fine and don't leave their kids severely neglected even without support. Well, I don't know if you're being deliberately obtuse or not. It seems very clear to me what I'm trying to say. If a person makes $9.70 an hour, works 40 hours a week and has one child, they make more than the income guidelines that would qualify you for most federal programs. If that same person is NOT getting support and ONLY spends 25% of that income on the care of that one child, then yes, that child is probably neglected. I presented the numbers for a $15 an hour income. Yes, I do believe if after a childcare expense of $300 a month if someone is only spending $188 per month on the care of a child at any age, that child is probably neglected. What this doesn't take into account are family and friends who donate free childcare, pick up supplies, food etc. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I've got two in university right now...the expenses are unreal. Link to post Share on other sites
Fluttershy Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I've got two in university right now...the expenses are unreal. Side note: I have got to say I am glad that I live in a society where parents don't put their kids through college/university. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I've got two in university right now...the expenses are unreal. I'm VERY lucky that my oldest two were fortunate enough to get in a lottery and get a free two year college degree with their high school education. So by the time they have their diploma, they will also have a 2 year associates degree in the field of their choice. That is HUGE for them, us, etc. If the others do not get in, I honestly have NO idea how I'll be able to afford to send them all through college. Along with the college classes come more costs, books, college fees, etc. in addition to the regular high school costs and, as I said, pricey mandatory field trips! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fluttershy Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 And to those saying kids don't cost much if you don't choose for them to, consider emergency costs, too. Say your kid breaks their arm and you're getting diddly from the noncustodial parent. How are you going to pay the copays (if you're lucky enough to have them on insurance) and the follow ups with the doctor to get the cast on and then off? What if you get in a car wreck and have to replace all of the car seats? Unexpected things happen ALL THE TIME that cause you to be put in to a perilous financial position. If the money isn't there, it just isn't there. When it comes to kids, though, you don't get a choice. FTR, my ex pays $100/mth per kid. That's barely enough to fill the refrigerator and cupboard with groceries for a week. Again, I make good money for the amount that I work, but it's not much more than exH makes (though the lawyer said even going on my income and his, he should be paying me $200/mth per kid. Which, again, is why I was shocked at the amount that Erika's xMM was paying.) Oh good God, I'm also thankful for the monthly medical we pay of $140 an the fact that the most we pay for is dental. Also as for carseats my insurance providor replaces them in the event of a collision. Not to mention the almost $400 a month I get for my kids from the governemnt for my kids. Sorry again for the topic jump. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 (edited) It would be nice to have an option to take the discussion aside in some way to keep the conversation going even though it strays a little off the original topic... I'm sorry Erika! If there is anything worth going into debt or risking bankruptcy for, it's education. Once you've got it, ain't nobody takin' it away from you. Edited January 11, 2014 by MuddyFootprints 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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