camp8989 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I had been seeing a guy for about a year who had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship so he said he didn't want to get serious. We have known each other since high school (I'm 23) and he cheated on his girlfriend with me a few years ago (I felt horrible and ended that, but it took him another year to confess it to his girlfriend). Things were rocky from the start because I wanted more, and he said things like he "could" love me. It screwed with my mind, and I thought if I gave him time it would work out. Back in November he told me very honestly that he was seeing a huge improvement in my mood, that I seemed really happy and that he was really happy for me, it felt like it meant a lot. A week later he saw a guy completely randomly kiss me out of no where at a party. He immediately told me he didn't want to "hook up with me if I was going to let random guys make out with me" it was completely unreasonable because we were not exclusive. When we talked about it later he claimed not to care and when I took a while to answer a text of his about it he just texted back "**** Off!" We didn't talk for a few weeks after that. I got a weird blank text message from him and a missed call at around one am about two weeks after he told me to **** off. I called him back a few days later, although I hadn't planned to. He told me simply he called because he was "drunk and wanted to ****." This is a guy who has good, kind friends who also think of him as a good person. I have never been treated this way by a guy before and I am extremely confused. I texted him the next day telling him that the next time he was "drunk and wants to ****" to forget my number. I didn't get a response and that was over a month ago. Please tell me what the hell this means? I want to move on, but I still care about him and don't know why he acted like this. Does his anger mean he cares? does he just want rid of me? why did he go so out of character? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Nothing you wrote about him leads me to believe this is out of character for him. He is a douche. He treated you with disrespect and contempt and you accepted his behavior by not going NC the very first time he cheated on his gf. We teach people how to treat us and you taught him to treat you like a disposable doormat. But I will answer your silly questions because you obviously have no idea what healthy interaction looks like. He acts angry because it gets a reaction from you. Yes, if you aren't going to cater to his every need and screw only him, he just wants rid of you. His character is of an immature user and from what you described he pretty much stayed true to that character throughout this sad little interaction you have shared. Expect respect, kindness and admiration and if they do not comply, go NC. How people can like people who treat them poorly is something I suppose I will never understand. If you want better, expect better. If you want to be treated better, don't hang around people who refuse to do that. SMH, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) He's immature. Plain and simple and a jerk. There is NO excuse for this behavior. Telling you to eff off and sending blank messages then when you reply he says he was just drunk and wants to ffccuck. I mean this is very immature, disrespectful and ridiculous, not to mention he has proven himself to be a cheater. This isn't how mature men handle things. It is at NO POINT excusable to allow a man to speak to you in that way because he was throwing a tantrum...ew! This guy doesn't seem as wonderful as you are trying to defend by mentioning this is out of his character and his friends think he is good. Maybe he has never acted this way towards you before, but it seems like very much in his character. What someone does when they're angry is very much part of who they are! It might not be often shown but it is very much in their character. There is nothing to figure out. He's an ass! He cheated with you and said he "could" love you (wtf does this mean, except I don't love you but let me say some random stuff about could so you have hope)and after all this time he has NEVER given you a proper relationship. He doesn't want you but wants you available to him for sex and thus doesn't want other guys speaking to you. That's why he is angry. When he sees you happy, improved mood and seem to be moving on he gets upset as it threatens him because he realizes you will not be there when he is ready to have sex or do whatever it is he does with you that isn't a relationship. This is toxic dear. You seem like a sweet person who deserves a man who isn't going to play games with you, who's not a cheater, who wants the best for you and doesn't degrade you and curse you when he doesn't get his selfish way. FLUSH and move on! Edited January 10, 2014 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Because he's a cheater -- he cheated with you, remember, he sees infidelity in every little thing because if were him it wouldn't have stopped a just a kiss so he can't believe the random guy you kissed was satisfied with just a kiss. Since he saw you kissing the other guy & in his mind because of that plus the fact that you previously had sex with him, he thinks you are easy. he has no respect for you so have some respect for yourself & get him out of your life or at least off the short list of people you are considering getting involved with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author camp8989 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Look, you need to check yourself out a little. My ex may be acting like a jerk, but look at how you talk to people yourself. My "silly questions"? could you sound any more belittling? I am just sure you don't understand bad relationships because all of your have been just wonderful and perfect. Everyone who falls for some one who may not be right is just a total wonder to you? I mean have some compassion! You even misread what I wrote: yes, he cheated with me and took a while to come clean about it but I DID DO NO CONTACT and I did it for a YEAR. I thought he may have changed. He did treat me well, and made it very clear he couldn't be in a relationship because of what happen with his previous 7 year one. He acted in anger, a lot of people act like dicks when they're angry, I'm sure you have too. Yes it's ****ed up and I told him off, so give me some ****ing credit. If you don't want to answer "silly questions" get the **** off this forum because I think everyone here is silly an you're just an incredibly bitter and angry person. Link to post Share on other sites
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