LK30 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) I've been with my girlfriend for almost 10 months. We work in same office which is how we met, although we rarely see each other due to the nature of our jobs. Much of the reason I think we got together is the Xmas work party last year where me and my friend (who also works in my team) walked my girlfriend (who was single at the time of course!) and her friend back to their hotel room on our way back to the taxi rank as we weren't staying in the hotel. They were all drunk but I was fairly sober (I'm not a big drinker!) and my friend kissed my 'girlfriend.' She responded and then my friend said to her to kiss me. She then started doing that. I don't know why I reciprocated as I don't like that sort of thing. My friend then lifted her on to the bed but then she said she didn't want to go that far as she hadn't long separated from her ex. My friend stopped and everything then fizzled out. The next day my friend told me my 'girlfriend' (remember, she was single so might affect how people respond to this post!) said to him 'if I sleep with the other girl then I will sleep with you.' About 3 months later I got together with my 'girlfriend' and for some reason that hotel night stayed in the back of mind. A couple of months ago I asked my girlfriend if she did make the comment my friend told me she had made about sleeping with him if I slept with the other girl in my office. I think the reason I asked is I have low confidence and wondered if she only really started going out with me because my friend is in a long term relationship, so I'm 'second best.' She told me she hadn't said it although I don't believe her. I think this upset her but we worked through it and I ended up going for counselling as I feel like I couldn't move on from it and didn't understand why I was dwelling on it. I don't think it helped as she told me in a separate conversation that she's had 20 sexual partners before. I have found myself really thinking about it all in last day or two. I don't know why as she's an amazing lady and we get on really well. There's real potential for a future for us and her daughter. I don't want to raise it with her as she'll just say 'that was a year ago, and you need to move on!' I don't want to lose her but worry that I'm going to have flashbacks and worries about it in the future. I've found myself not responding to her today and I know she picks up on things if I go quiet as she knows this is what I do when I'm worried about something. Any constructive advice/comments would be appreciated. Thank you. Edited January 10, 2014 by LK30 Link to post Share on other sites
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