jesscap2002 Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 I am having trouble letting go... I don't no where to start, I knew that my husband and I were having problems, i did not realize how bad it was. We have been married for three years, and we dated since we were sixteen years old, and have two children together. About three and a half months ago it was worse then ever and he told me he loved me as a brother loves a sister. I could not believe it.I was in shock and we stopped talking. Then two weeks later He told me he just wanted to be friends, and he moved out. We talk and he keeps on confusing me. One day he wants to move on, he told me about a women he had been seeing, but insists it started after he moved out. The next day he wants to try to work on it but take it very slowly. We also fall into this weird place where he comes over to see the kids and we end up in bed (after the kids go to sleep). I always tell myself that it wont happen again but i cant resist him. I sometimes feel like i want things to work but then i wonder if it is only because it safe. It has been him for ten years and I feel nervous and scared to get out there. I was so young when we started dating, and i feel as if i don't no if I'm ready or if i even want to. I don't no if i can let go, and it hurts because i don't honestly no if its just easy to fall back on or if i really do love him and want it to work. I don't feel as if I'm the same person as when he was here and i no its only been 3 months but i feel as if i have changed, and i no he has changed but i don't no if it has been for the best or the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 Originally posted by jesscap2002 I am having trouble letting go... ....he told me he loved me as a brother loves a sister. I could not believe it.I was in shock and we stopped talking. He told me he just wanted to be friends, and he moved out. We talk and he keeps on confusing me. . Very likely he's been cheating for a long time. It was probably the impetus for his whole decision to leave the home. It's hard to hide an affair while you're living with your wife. It's also hard to believe that someone you love and trust can look you right in the eye and LIE, but they do. At MarriageBuilders, they refer to his confusing language as "fog-talk" or "fog-babble". And they have tools to deal with it. <URL removed> http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=forum;f=37 (General Questions II, discussion forum...there are LOTS of people there who are posting about situations very similar to yours) It's no wonder you're confused. He's giving you mixed signals. He probably doesn't know what he wants himself. But after you have two children with someone, it's a little late to decide to "just be friends". And you don't have to allow him to sit on the fence and play with your emotions. As bleak as it sounds, it probably not too late to save your marriage. Alot of it depends on if you want to. His behavior has been pretty bad though. You're at no obligation to take him back EVER, if you don't really want to. If you're not getting any individual counseling, you might consider it. At the minimum, you'll get some support coping with all this. Link to post Share on other sites
debilou Posted January 10, 2005 Share Posted January 10, 2005 I'm so sorry for your pain. I can relate. We are in similar situations. Counseling is helping me to cope. This web site has helped a great deal, especially with the empty time. How old are your children? Mine are 9 & 14. Debilou Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts