2 months after the break up; need some advice

[d0cholliday]

Greetings!

 

This is my first post, and I really need some advice, cause I'm a mess.

 

It's been 2 months after the break up. I'm 25 years old, and this was my first searious relationship, and this is the first girl I truly love, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

About me... I'm very emotional guy, with kinda hard personality, but with a big heart, that's a description of me from other people, not me, but I agree with them. I wasn't a saint in the relationship. Why? Cause I lied from time to time, and got caught, and also I "forgot" to mention somethings, cause she always want to know everything, I did all that cause she didn't had any understanding and I was afraid she will leave me, she didn't. I managed to fixed all of that. I've changed, and all was good. Until she started to distance herself.

 

About her... She is very very hard person, stuborn, always needs to be the best, very moral etc. But has many flaws, naging, manipulative, always plays on my emotion. I learned how to cope with that, and I actually managed to hide her flaws if you get me.

 

I don't want to make a long post, I'll keep it short as possible. God knows I could write a novel at this moment.

 

Relationship.... Trust issues, insecurity, on both sides. I think that is the main problem, and reason for BU, but I'm confused cause I really tried hard to make things up for her. I partly blame myself for BU, cause I started talking, cause I noticed something was different, and as I talked that turned to BU, myb I should kept my mouth shut, but it is over now.

During this 2 months of BU, we are in contact, altough I tried NC, she didn't let me, and I was weak, so she managed to pull me back. So she told me she wants me in her life as a friend, bla bla, and she was coming to my place, we cuddle, watch tv, everything except intimacy and kissing, then she admitted that we aren't friends, and will continue like this untill someone finds someone else. I tried to talk to her, get her to open up to me, talking about making up, she told me she needs time, she likes being alone right now, not to put pressure on her etc. She knows I love her so much, and knows she can do anything she wants with me, she could say ok lets get back together and she knows I would. That's the situation. Troughout our "meetings" she changed, I was flirting with her like hell, altough first few meetings were afwul, but that changed, she started to open up a little. When she is with me she acts like we are in a relationship, but she is cold via chat and sms... I asked her if we are over, and if we are she needs to tell me so I can go on with my life, she said she doesnt know. Also she is asking around about my whereabouts, and she told me she wouldn't bare to see me with another girl, and when I mentioned that I will go find someone else, she told me not to.... Games people play...

 

Anyhow, this is what I need advice about.

Next friday she is going on a ski trip with her parents for 2 weeks. So I was planing to get her to my place day before she goes, and try to talk about making up, I want to tell her that I can't go like this anymore, that she needs to give me something, or tell me NO, so I can go on. Also I will start NC on that friday, she will contact me I'm sure, cause that's her MO, and if I don't answer she will attack me for being rude, bla bla bla.... Problem is she doesn't want to talk about making up....

 

What do You think I should do? Should I try to talk to her once again, tell her what is on my mind and my heart? Tell her nothing, just hang around, or don't even see her ( I will cause we are going out in a few days), but I'm thinking on a day before she leaves? Should I go, if she doesn't come around, with NC, or kept in touch with her, ofcourse I won't contact her first?

Bear in mind that I want her back, not to distance myself, or whatever. I'm doing all the things people suggest, work out, going out, making new friends, all that stuff. I tried to explain all the things she didn't like, lying etc, I told her the reason, I was afraid, she just won't except it. I really think she has feelings for me, but she is unsure in herself and in me, she told me she is afraid we won't make it, something like that.

 

So please give me some advice, as I have little time left to do some action.

 

Thank you in advance, and sry for my bad English, and a long post

[ravssss]

go with ur gut feel and not what ur heart says( which wud most of the times justify her actions when ur in touch with her ) ... I was in ur situation ... and a situation like this came up and last min she called it off ... and u are not in a relationship right now have that in mind ... the way she sees things is probably like she owes u nothing now ... not even an answer .

[d0cholliday]

No responses??? Is my story that lame? Tnx anyway to ravsss, You are right, she knows she ownes me... That's on me, I'm inexperienced in relationships, but now I feel much more stronger, and I look at this like a good prep for a next relationship. Still there is love inside of me, and I didn't really had a time to process all of the fellings. There are some hard times infront of me, but what can you do... Learn from your mistakes. And the title of this thread meant to be Need some advice, not need some ., my mistake but I can't change it

Edited January 10, 2014 by d0cholliday

[Fufu]

Greetings!

 

This is my first post, and I really need some advice, cause I'm a mess.

 

It's been 2 months after the break up. I'm 25 years old, and this was my first searious relationship, and this is the first girl I truly love, and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

About me... I'm very emotional guy, with kinda hard personality, but with a big heart, that's a description of me from other people, not me, but I agree with them. I wasn't a saint in the relationship. Why? Cause I lied from time to time, and got caught, and also I "forgot" to mention somethings, cause she always want to know everything, I did all that cause she didn't had any understanding and I was afraid she will leave me, she didn't. I managed to fixed all of that. I've changed, and all was good. Until she started to distance herself.

 

About her... She is very very hard person, stuborn, always needs to be the best, very moral etc. But has many flaws, naging, manipulative, always plays on my emotion. I learned how to cope with that, and I actually managed to hide her flaws if you get me.

 

I don't want to make a long post, I'll keep it short as possible. God knows I could write a novel at this moment.

 

Relationship.... Trust issues, insecurity, on both sides. I think that is the main problem, and reason for BU, but I'm confused cause I really tried hard to make things up for her. I partly blame myself for BU, cause I started talking, cause I noticed something was different, and as I talked that turned to BU, myb I should kept my mouth shut, but it is over now.

During this 2 months of BU, we are in contact, altough I tried NC, she didn't let me, and I was weak, so she managed to pull me back. So she told me she wants me in her life as a friend, bla bla, and she was coming to my place, we cuddle, watch tv, everything except intimacy and kissing, then she admitted that we aren't friends, and will continue like this untill someone finds someone else. I tried to talk to her, get her to open up to me, talking about making up, she told me she needs time, she likes being alone right now, not to put pressure on her etc. She knows I love her so much, and knows she can do anything she wants with me, she could say ok lets get back together and she knows I would. That's the situation. Troughout our "meetings" she changed, I was flirting with her like hell, altough first few meetings were afwul, but that changed, she started to open up a little. When she is with me she acts like we are in a relationship, but she is cold via chat and sms... I asked her if we are over, and if we are she needs to tell me so I can go on with my life, she said she doesnt know. Also she is asking around about my whereabouts, and she told me she wouldn't bare to see me with another girl, and when I mentioned that I will go find someone else, she told me not to.... Games people play...

 

Anyhow, this is what I need advice about.

Next friday she is going on a ski trip with her parents for 2 weeks. So I was planing to get her to my place day before she goes, and try to talk about making up, I want to tell her that I can't go like this anymore, that she needs to give me something, or tell me NO, so I can go on. Also I will start NC on that friday, she will contact me I'm sure, cause that's her MO, and if I don't answer she will attack me for being rude, bla bla bla.... Problem is she doesn't want to talk about making up....

 

What do You think I should do? Should I try to talk to her once again, tell her what is on my mind and my heart? Tell her nothing, just hang around, or don't even see her ( I will cause we are going out in a few days), but I'm thinking on a day before she leaves? Should I go, if she doesn't come around, with NC, or kept in touch with her, ofcourse I won't contact her first?

Bear in mind that I want her back, not to distance myself, or whatever. I'm doing all the things people suggest, work out, going out, making new friends, all that stuff. I tried to explain all the things she didn't like, lying etc, I told her the reason, I was afraid, she just won't except it. I really think she has feelings for me, but she is unsure in herself and in me, she told me she is afraid we won't make it, something like that.

 

So please give me some advice, as I have little time left to do some action.

 

Thank you in advance, and sry for my bad English, and a long post

 

No one is a saint in relationship. People tend to make mistakes in a relationship, but of course learn from mistakes and never to make them repeatedly.

 

That is why NC is important after a fresh break up. You are basically in a relationship with a non-existing gf. How do you feel? Do you like your relationship with this non-existing gf?

 

She's keeping you around but she is not ready for a commitment. WHY? There is gonna be a time when she falls in love with someone new and drops you completely or string you along like a doormat/spare tyre.

 

Never date anyone who hesitates. It's yo-yoing and how long can you stand being yo yoing around. You need to respect yourself because clearly she doesn't respect you at all.

 

2 suggestions I'm giving.

 

You can either tell her exactly how you feel, you are tired of the way it is. Either she wants to work things out or that's it each of you go your own way.

 

or

 

Just start NC (move on with your life)

 

I recommend the 2nd option because clearly both of you are just not ready to be together.

 

 

Remember a relationship can never work out well when it's only 1 person who hopes for a reconciliation, while the other party is still stuck in the "I don't know" mode. It doesn't bode well at all.

 

Reconciliation only works when both parties firmly decides/agrees/wants(seriously) to be together and work things out together.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Fufu

[AlphaC]

Greetings!

 

"So please give me some advice, as I have little time left to do some action."

 

Okay brother, since you asked nicely for advice I will offer it. First of all, don't pay too much attention to her words, follow her actions. She is telling you she doesn't want a relationship but is keeping you around and doesn't want to see you with other women. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes when we are infatuated. Note this, when she met you you were this other person, not your honest self, this is what attracted her, you said you started making necessary changes, bad move, you don't have to change for anyone, especially since that's what attracted her in the first place.

 

Be a man, understand and appreciate your worth. I know you are young but don't sweat it, you can have her and many others if you just become more confident and build up your self esteem. You don't need this girl, you might desire her but that will wane in time. You need to show her she ain't nada, she should be happy that you are allowing her near you, wise up my man. If she is confused let her figure it out by herself, you have your life to live!!

 

If you want her back do this, give her some flowers before she goes on this ski trip, tell her to take the flowers with her for good luck. Usually in ski areas there are few flowers, she will take the flowers with her and you will be on her mind THE ENTIRE TRIP, FACT!!! Tell her not to contact you until she gets back, IF SHE LIKES. She will start thinking that you have really changed and are not that into her, you are losing interest and are probably moving on, this will force her to to wake the F_ UP!!.

 

You will have your answer when she gets back, at that point you have two choices:

 

1. Take her home and make love; or

2. Forget about her - go No Contact

 

This will all depend on whether or not she contacts you AND (the most important factor) if you want her back -be strong, think positive!!!

 

Ahora si que es .... que es!!!

[d0cholliday]

Greetings!

 

"So please give me some advice, as I have little time left to do some action."

 

Okay brother, since you asked nicely for advice I will offer it. First of all, don't pay too much attention to her words, follow her actions. She is telling you she doesn't want a relationship but is keeping you around and doesn't want to see you with other women. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes when we are infatuated. Note this, when she met you you were this other person, not your honest self, this is what attracted her, you said you started making necessary changes, bad move, you don't have to change for anyone, especially since that's what attracted her in the first place.

 

Be a man, understand and appreciate your worth. I know you are young but don't sweat it, you can have her and many others if you just become more confident and build up your self esteem. You don't need this girl, you might desire her but that will wane in time. You need to show her she ain't nada, she should be happy that you are allowing her near you, wise up my man. If she is confused let her figure it out by herself, you have your life to live!!

 

If you want her back do this, give her some flowers before she goes on this ski trip, tell her to take the flowers with her for good luck. Usually in ski areas there are few flowers, she will take the flowers with her and you will be on her mind THE ENTIRE TRIP, FACT!!! Tell her not to contact you until she gets back, IF SHE LIKES. She will start thinking that you have really changed and are not that into her, you are losing interest and are probably moving on, this will force her to to wake the F_ UP!!.

 

You will have your answer when she gets back, at that point you have two choices:

 

1. Take her home and make love; or

2. Forget about her - go No Contact

 

This will all depend on whether or not she contacts you AND (the most important factor) if you want her back -be strong, think positive!!!

 

Ahora si que es .... que es!!!

 

Thanks man, this really helps, I live alone and this really helps me trough pain. Regarding the gift, flowers sounds really good, but knowing her she won't take them with her, myb if I buy some small artifical flower, I was thinking after your post, I could give her a box in shape of heart with our picture inside of it, with bubles and ****, like that snowy thingy. And myb write something in the back of the picture. What you think?

[AlphaC]

 

Thanks man, this really helps, I live alone and this really helps me trough pain. Regarding the gift, flowers sounds really good, but knowing her she won't take them with her, myb if I buy some small artifical flower, I was thinking after your post, I could give her a box in shape of heart with our picture inside of it, with bubles and ****, like that snowy thingy. And myb write something in the back of the picture. What you think?

 

 

Yes but do it now and go no contact until she comes back, do not answer her texts, emails, calls, smoke signals, NADA, go ghost, let her think. Give her something to take with her on this trip. Remember you were supposed to go on this trip too, show her that you are not sweating it. Give it to her this weekend and say , bon voyage, have fun. If she asks you are too busy to talk and disappear. Entiendes, I have to run, me and my boys are heading to the slopes to snowboard, and no, I don't live in Tijuana, be good

[erklat]

I could give her a box in shape of heart with our picture inside of it

 

I think box in a shape of tombstone with lettering "my self respect and dignity" would be moar appropriate in this situation. Listen to Fufu.

 

NO GIFTS!

 

Get ninja. Now.

[d0cholliday]

So here is an update. I am now in my 3rd day of NC! And I wonder do girls smell that I'm doing something, cause she contacted me 2 days in a row, I didn't answer... Before I went NC she was cold and unresponsive. First contact via Facebook, but the second is by SMS, which she didn't do for a while... Asked me about a movie on TV, if I watched it (Slumdog millionaire) and I did watch it. I didn't answer to her text.

 

I'm confused. I'm really starting to think that she can sense that I'm going on with my life, and wants to lure me back..... Or could this be some kind of message, cause of the movie... yesterday she did a simillar thing, sent me an article about girl

leaving a guy, and now wants him back...

Why is this happening????

Edited January 12, 2014 by d0cholliday

[erklat]

So here is an update. I am now in my 3rd day of NC! And I wonder do girls smell that I'm doing something, cause she contacted me 2 days in a row, I didn't answer... Before I went NC she was cold and unresponsive. First contact via Facebook, but the second is by SMS, which she didn't do for a while... Asked me about a movie on TV, if I watched it (Slumdog millionaire) and I did watch it. I didn't answer to her text.

 

I'm confused. I'm really starting to think that she can sense that I'm going on with my life, and wants to lure me back..... Or could this be some kind of message, cause of the movie... yesterday she did a simillar thing, sent me an article about girl

leaving a guy, and now wants him back...

Why is this happening????

 

You are on day 2 becoz that "mhm" counts as breaking NC.

If you blow air from your mouth smelling of minced meat and onions her way - NC is broken.

If you gaze her way - NC is broken.

If you stop pretending you are dead while she's prodding you with a stick - NC is broken.

 

She gets zero of your attention unless absolutely unavoidable!

 

Why is this happening????

 

Becoz she is yanking your chain to see if you're still hooked. Unless she says she loves you, she made a mistake, or she wants to give another shot - you play cold meat.

Edited January 12, 2014 by erklat

[d0cholliday]

So last night I was out in the bar, It was a celebration of Orthodox new year. My ex was near my table with her friends. As the night progressed she move slowly step by step to my vinicity. It was nice, but I didn't have much communication with her. She invited her friend from childhood, yes it's a male, and she was around him when he came, while I was talking with her girlfriends. Two of them told me, go for it, stand near her, don't let her go, bla bla, so I did that. In a while everybody left to another bar, and there were us 3 alone, bear in mind we were all drunk, well I wasn't that drunk, I was in control, cause when I notice she maybe will get drunk I stay sober so I can take care of her. Her girlfriends left her naturally, and she told me everybody left me only you stayed. So we went to the other bar where here friends are, but it was closing time, so we all went a part. She, her friend and me decided to go grab something to eat, and to escort her friend home, we did that. During the moments we were alone, when everybody left she kissed me, she kissed me like 5 times. After food, we took a cab and went home, she told me she will go and sleep at my place, but she doesn't want anything to happen. I said ok.... Well we were listening to music, she was dancing, flirting, I answered to that, we kissed, and one thing let to another and we had sex....

 

She is still sleeping in my bed... What should I do next? What now?

I'm feeling kind a strange... Like I put her up to it, but I didn't... I know I didn't, cause I was controling myself all that time, so much that I am exhausted. What should I do now??? Let it be, let her say something, try to talk about what happened last night, she also told me during sex, that we aren't back together....

 

Give me some advice. Thank you in advance

[notthathard]

You need to play the same game she is playing with you but even better

 

She told you that you are not back together during sex haha. I hope you banged her good, that helps if you want to get back.

 

Just go along with it, after she leaves go back to NC. Let her crave you again until she can't help but crawl back.

[d0cholliday]

You need to play the same game she is playing with you but even better

 

She told you that you are not back together during sex haha. I hope you banged her good, that helps if you want to get back.

 

Just go along with it, after she leaves go back to NC. Let her crave you again until she can't help but crawl back.

 

She is leaving on Friday morning to a ski trip for 2 weeks with her parents, I will go NC as long as possible, but I think last night was a game changer, I told my self that yesterday was her last opportunity to do something, guess she did what women do best... She is still sleeping, I of course can't cause I am nervous about the outcome of the whole situation.

[ariawuu]

What i find most heartbreaking about break ups are at how appalling and low blow dumpers become.

 

I've seen the worst from mine. I loved and hated him at the same time and it drove me completely nuts, as he indulged in the power that I gave him to treat me however he felt like treating me..friend then gf then friend ya di da.I'm feeling more accepting to the nature of our current relationship because I trust God to bring me better things whether that's a better man for me or a better improved relationship with him when the time is right.

**

Everything he has done was pure selfishness. I only allowed myself to be treated like that because I gave in to the need for intimacy that I yearned and craved so deeply from him after he left. I also had nobody that really helped me moved on. Completely weak.

 

Let me tell you, it's utterly abusive and disrespectful when they use you when it benefits them, but only you can help yourself be responsible for your post break up recovery and future happiness. Don't let this control you.

 

If it's true love, then a second chance may present itself in the future, only if you start focusing on yourself so you can have a better relationship with your ex that will hopefully last. Doesn't that sound a lot nicer than the constant pain and fear of letting go is doing to you right now?

 

+++Feel free to email me so we can try move forward together.. I think you emailed me before? I'm happy to support anyone in need+++

Edited January 14, 2014 by ariawuu

[ariawuu]

Oh i have to also put it out there..

 

When exes keep you in the friend zone, they feed their ego with the thought of you putting them on a pedal stool. So turn the tables around and put them in the friend zone and put on a good damn show how much you don't need them as much as they thought. That's what I have done when it was unavoidable to avoid him.I tried that and it worked for me haha until I dropped the ball and couldn't be stuffed with games.

Edited January 14, 2014 by ariawuu

[d0cholliday]

Oh i have to also put it out there..

 

When exes keep you in the friend zone, they feed their ego with the thought of you putting them on a pedal stool. So turn the tables around and put them in the friend zone and put on a good damn show how much you don't need them as much as they thought. That's what I have done when it was unavoidable to avoid him.I tried that and it worked for me haha until I dropped the ball and couldn't be stuffed with games.

 

TNX for support, what's your email again cutiepie something? Well she finally left my place like 10 min ago. We talked a little about what happened. First I'm feeling very odd, not sure about it, she is definetly has some thoughts also about it. When she was leaving today, she asked me should she kiss me, I answered if you want to, she came close, and ask me will I return the kiss, I grabed her and kissed her, and she left. So I'm not going to contact her or, altough I asked her if we are going to see each other before she goes, I shouldn't have done that, but I did it, and now its too late for changing that. I'll go ahead as I planned, with NC, and maybe LC if she contacts me about something that could lead to making up.

I really can't see what could I do more. I did my best and I really hope she will come back to me, but I can't wait her anymore, I mean I can, but I know that's not good for me. Time will show. I'm not going to see her at least for 2 weeks, starting from Saturday, and I planned to avoid her after that at all costs, except if she want's to try again.

[d0cholliday]

So here is an update...

 

She still didn't contact me... She did however tagged me in a picture of us together from Monday night out... We are looking good together on that picture, like a couple... What's bugging me is that I told her a while ago after the break up, that if she ever put a picture of us on FB, that she doesn't tag me, cause I don't want it to be on my profile. She also asked me to give her the pictures from our summer vacation, and she still has all of our pictures on her profile, only i untagged my self... So what's up with that?

[ariawuu]

So here is an update...

 

She still didn't contact me... She did however tagged me in a picture of us together from Monday night out... We are looking good together on that picture, like a couple... What's bugging me is that I told her a while ago after the break up, that if she ever put a picture of us on FB, that she doesn't tag me, cause I don't want it to be on my profile. She also asked me to give her the pictures from our summer vacation, and she still has all of our pictures on her profile, only i untagged my self... So what's up with that?

 

don't make a move. if she really wants to be with you she will come after you but getting back together should come from her. Lay low. Keep doing what makes you happy right now. If you go for the chase she will only string you along. Let her come to you so you don't look desperate and needy.

 

Ignore what she is doing, if you don't want to be tagged, untag yourself and resume life.

 

I sent you an email

[d0cholliday]

don't make a move. if she really wants to be with you she will come after you but getting back together should come from her. Lay low. Keep doing what makes you happy right now. If you go for the chase she will only string you along. Let her come to you so you don't look desperate and needy.

 

Ignore what she is doing, if you don't want to be tagged, untag yourself and resume life.

 

I sent you an email

 

Thank you for your answer... I responded to your email. I'm just afraid that NC will push her away, I explained it in my email.

 

She is just too pridefull, and too stuborn, and just doesn't want to admit her feelings. Which sucks big time, that's cause she doesn't have enough trust, and is insecure.

[Simon Phoenix]

Thank you for your answer... I responded to your email. I'm just afraid that NC will push her away, I explained it in my email.

 

She is just too pridefull, and too stuborn, and just doesn't want to admit her feelings. Which sucks big time, that's cause she doesn't have enough trust, and is insecure.

 

She pushed herself away bro when she broke up with you. You are just giving her what she wanted when she broke up with you. The last thing you need to be doing is the dumb crap you did by hanging out with her and sleeping with her -- that's literally the worst way to get her back short of stalking her. She can't miss you if you don't go away and all you did this weekend was allow her to wean herself off of you on your terms. The more you do this, the more you'll allow her to use you to get over you.

 

You need to not be initiating and you don't need to be talking to her. It's time that you show her the true consequences of her decision.

[d0cholliday]

She pushed herself away bro when she broke up with you. You are just giving her what she wanted when she broke up with you. The last thing you need to be doing is the dumb crap you did by hanging out with her and sleeping with her -- that's literally the worst way to get her back short of stalking her. She can't miss you if you don't go away and all you did this weekend was allow her to wean herself off of you on your terms. The more you do this, the more you'll allow her to use you to get over you.

 

You need to not be initiating and you don't need to be talking to her. It's time that you show her the true consequences of her decision.

 

I will do that, It's just a panic inside of me, cause she is leaving, and I'm not sure will she miss me, or think about me during this ski trip... But somewhere inside deeply I know she will get back with me after this ski trip, I just feel it. But I'm not hoping, if it happens great, if not well there is nothing I can do. You are right, and I am in NC since the last time we saw eachother. I had sex with her, cause I think it can spark some emotions in her, cause she's that kind of person, normally I woudn't have had sex with her. Also thank you for your post, it will get me trough the day... I won't break, I will hold on with NC, I know I can, but the problem is I constantly question myself and my decisions.

[Simon Phoenix]

I will do that, It's just a panic inside of me, cause she is leaving, and I'm not sure will she miss me, or think about me during this ski trip... But somewhere inside deeply I know she will get back with me after this ski trip, I just feel it. But I'm not hoping, if it happens great, if not well there is nothing I can do. You are right, and I am in NC since the last time we saw eachother. I had sex with her, cause I think it can spark some emotions in her, cause she's that kind of person, normally I woudn't have had sex with her. Also thank you for your post, it will get me trough the day... I won't break, I will hold on with NC, I know I can, but the problem is I constantly question myself and my decisions.

 

It could have also been that "one last bang for old time's sake" in her mind. And "I miss you" does not mean "I made a mistake and I want you back". She probably will miss you, and she probably will try to contact you in the near future to get her fix. And she'll continue to do that until she's weaned herself off you if you let her. Don't be that guy.

[ariawuu]

I get what kind of panic you're talking about in your email. The idea of letting someone you loved deeply makes you hold onto them that much tighter. So don't sit on that idea. Keep yourself busy and be around people that you enjoy being in the company of. It gets easier if you calm your mind and know that life will go on..you will be happy and feel whole again. It takes two whole people to maintain a long term relationship with.

 

If you feel insecure now then that relationship was fated to end anyway. Let it die so good and better things can come your way, with or without the ex.

[d0cholliday]

It could have also been that "one last bang for old time's sake" in her mind. And "I miss you" does not mean "I made a mistake and I want you back". She probably will miss you, and she probably will try to contact you in the near future to get her fix. And she'll continue to do that until she's weaned herself off you if you let her. Don't be that guy.

 

 

I really doubt it was "one last bang..." I saw her to day, she smiled to me, waived, and when I was passing near her, she stopped me and ask me if I managed to get something I need for my college. Still I leave all options opened.

That's it from her in 2 days I got... Also I'm sick of myself and my thoughts, and overanalyzing things and actions, I hope it will be ok in time. I think I should try and talk to her, but I'm afraid it will be a mistake, so I'm sticking to NC, and waiting her next move. It feels like a intense game of chess, which I'm getting a bit tired of. All that stuff if she wants you, she will knock on your door, she will come back, it's good, but she is the kind of person, that will hardly do that, cause of her big ego. She just can't admit she made a mistake on her own, and I'm afraid of that, and am thinking that she could only do that if she is around me. But again I won't do that, I am aware of my situation, my feelings and etc. I will let her do the first move, I told her that a while a go, that she is the one who needs to make a first move, and she kind a did Monday night... but now 2 days passed and nothing from her.

 

I know I need to move on with my life, and I'm doing that, but still I want her back, I want another try, cause I know mistakes, and now I know how to handle a relationship. I hope it'll work all for the best.

[goldfighter3]

My councillor gave me a really good exercise to do if you find yourself over analysing things.

 

Basically, get a book or a diary or even a piece of paper. Then sit down for 15 minutes and just BRAINSTORM everything that comes into your mind. Doesn't need to flow or make sense, just brainstorm it all. Sometimes it might be hard, I usually cry thinking about what my ex has done.

 

Then at the end of the fifteen minutes, close the book. Then whenever you find yourself thinking about things again for the rest of the day, just shut them down. It helps if you imagine yourself closing the book.

 

This gives you a way of getting everything down you're worrying about, and then getting on with things.

 

I hope it helps

 

I really doubt it was "one last bang..." I saw her to day, she smiled to me, waived, and when I was passing near her, she stopped me and ask me if I managed to get something I need for my college. Still I leave all options opened.

That's it from her in 2 days I got... Also I'm sick of myself and my thoughts, and overanalyzing things and actions, I hope it will be ok in time. I think I should try and talk to her, but I'm afraid it will be a mistake, so I'm sticking to NC, and waiting her next move. It feels like a intense game of chess, which I'm getting a bit tired of. All that stuff if she wants you, she will knock on your door, she will come back, it's good, but she is the kind of person, that will hardly do that, cause of her big ego. She just can't admit she made a mistake on her own, and I'm afraid of that, and am thinking that she could only do that if she is around me. But again I won't do that, I am aware of my situation, my feelings and etc. I will let her do the first move, I told her that a while a go, that she is the one who needs to make a first move, and she kind a did Monday night... but now 2 days passed and nothing from her.

 

I know I need to move on with my life, and I'm doing that, but still I want her back, I want another try, cause I know mistakes, and now I know how to handle a relationship. I hope it'll work all for the best.