2 months after the break up; need some advice

[srmano]

its fine man, to be honest i think about her more than i would like but thats going to diminish in time

[d0cholliday]

You are in a much better place than I am. But she isn't coming back

That's way I'm so weak whe she tosses breadcrumbs. Cause I ****ing can't accept that it is really over, and our RS is dead. It ended so stupid, without no reason, I tried to talk to her about it, she didn't want to talk. I hope with time I will accept things as they are.

 

I feel like a psycho sometimes. Been broken up for 3 months, and still I get in crysis, It's like somekind of drug, I got hooked to. And there is V-day coming, timing couldn't be worse.

 

I've been moping around from october till now... And I'm tired of waiting for something to happen. I'm just disgusted when I look at myself. All is there, I just need some kind of trigger to move on, something to push me forward, and nothing is happening. Tried other girls got rejected, tried going out, felt bored, no matter what I do its just not fulfilling and doesn't make me happy, or if it does it lasts really short.

 

I have so much things I want to tell her now... I would really like to confront her, tell her what's happening to me, and what I need to do. Just feels like I need to hear one more NO from her, just one more rejection, cause anything else didn't work. That would break me, but I think I would move on much more faster. I won't do that, at least for now, I will fight with NC, as long as I can. I want her to know that she doesn't have to move mountains to get back to me, just needs will to try again, and to make it work this time.

I'm afraid she doesn't know these things. She is not mature enough, and apparently not ready for full commitment.

 

Well **** it.... I'll hope she will soon realise she made a mistake and come back, and If I manage to move on i the process, good for me, if not, well I'll need to learn how to live with it.

[srmano]

You are in a much better place than I am. But she isn't coming back

That's way I'm so weak whe she tosses breadcrumbs. Cause I ****ing can't accept that it is really over, and our RS is dead. It ended so stupid, without no reason, I tried to talk to her about it, she didn't want to talk. I hope with time I will accept things as they are.

 

I feel like a psycho sometimes. Been broken up for 3 months, and still I get in crysis, It's like somekind of drug, I got hooked to. And there is V-day coming, timing couldn't be worse.

 

I've been moping around from october till now... And I'm tired of waiting for something to happen. I'm just disgusted when I look at myself. All is there, I just need some kind of trigger to move on, something to push me forward, and nothing is happening. Tried other girls got rejected, tried going out, felt bored, no matter what I do its just not fulfilling and doesn't make me happy, or if it does it lasts really short.

 

I have so much things I want to tell her now... I would really like to confront her, tell her what's happening to me, and what I need to do. Just feels like I need to hear one more NO from her, just one more rejection, cause anything else didn't work. That would break me, but I think I would move on much more faster. I won't do that, at least for now, I will fight with NC, as long as I can. I want her to know that she doesn't have to move mountains to get back to me, just needs will to try again, and to make it work this time.

I'm afraid she doesn't know these things. She is not mature enough, and apparently not ready for full commitment.

 

Well **** it.... I'll hope she will soon realise she made a mistake and come back, and If I manage to move on i the process, good for me, if not, well I'll need to learn how to live with it.

 

Accepting things are over is the hardest thing, took me ages and even im not sure i've fully accepted it. Honestly take up a hobby,go to the gym, make new friends etc, who cares if your bored just don't sit around moping. Stop waiting nothings going to happen, and if it does it won't be for ages. The reason your getting rejected by other girls is you haven't gotten your confidence back you need to start feeling good about yourself. Seriously don't underestimate your worth if she can't be prepared to "move mountains" their wasn't really anything really their or not enough for her to come back. Im not saying make it impossible for her, but if she does try make it clear its going to need time and work from her to regain your trust. I mean if you really do think you belong together keep your lines of communication clear. In regards to your earlier post about having an impact, silence/lack of contact from you will have a massive impact, more than anything you might say.

Edited February 12, 2014 by srmano

[d0cholliday]

Accepting things are over is the hardest thing, took me ages and even im not sure i've fully accepted it. Honestly take up a hobby,go to the gym, make new friends etc, who cares if your bored just don't sit around moping. Stop waiting nothings going to happen, and if it does it won't be for ages. The reason your getting rejected by other girls is you haven't gotten your confidence back you need to start feeling good about yourself. Seriously don't underestimate your worth if she can't be prepared to "move mountains" their wasn't really anything really their or not enough for her to come back. I mean if you really do think you belong together keep your lines of communication clear. In regards to your earlier post about having an impact, silence/lack of contact from you will have a massive impact, more than anything you might say.

 

 

Yep... That's a problem, I have a gut feeling we belong together. Everyone saw it, execpt her... Even her parents. But bear in mind we are from two countries which were at war, and past is still hunting the areas. But we overcame that, I think. That stupid feeling we belong together is what haunts me, and making me hard to move on...

[srmano]

Yep... That's a problem, I have a gut feeling we belong together. Everyone saw it, execpt her... Even her parents. But bear in mind we are from two countries which were at war, and past is still hunting the areas. But we overcame that, I think. That stupid feeling we belong together is what haunts me, and making me hard to move on...

 

I had the same issue, me and her had a lot in common, talk about our future together. In my gut i knew the entire time she was with her rebound she still had feelings for me, and her telling me confirmed it. She even brought up in our chat that she thought we were compatible. I mean if you do belong together then quit wanting everything to happen now, carry on with your life and she'll come back if its meant to be. If she doesn't who cares, you'll find another girl, theirs always another girl.

[d0cholliday]

Let's try to solve another issue. Cause of mess I'm in, and I didn't "hit the wall with head" strong enough.

 

I keep thinking I need to meet up with her and tell her what's on my mind.

I would send her a message like this: Let's meet up, we need to talk. If you don't respond, or we don't meet up, I will know your answer is NO, and we won't be together again. I'll move on with my life, and our story ends right here, right now.

 

If she indeed meets up with me. I would tell her that I'm moving on, and if she still want's to try and work things out, now is her chance. I won't be pathetic or anything else, I will keep my cool, and say to her, it is over, if her answer is she doesnt want back.

 

Thing is that this method will hurt me, but it will be in a short term. I would then initiate strickt NC, and move on, not ever talking to her, cause that will be the last drop.

 

Since I still love her and want her back, I really don't want to screw things up, and push her away forever, but I need to do something, cause I'm hurting bad. I don't know why do I act like this, this isn't me. I am usually cool around her, acting like I'm ok. But inside me there is a ticking bomb...

 

Don't jump on my neck, I didn't say I will go and try to talk with her. That's something I'm thinking about. I, sadly, think I won't come to my senses if I don't do that. Cause my reaction will be, well she said NO, again, theres nothing to do here, time to go away... Plus it feels right. I need to break up with her in my head, if you understand me. She knows she can have me, and by saying that words to her, I should feel much more easier, cause big burden will be off my back. Sure I will suffer, but it will pass, I'm still suffering, and this would be the last hit I would take, and after that move on.

Ofcourse I hope if I try to talk to her, she will come to her senses, see the mistake she did, and try to work things out. But as unfortunate as I am, that probably won't be a case.

 

I know none of you will agree with this, and I would like to know if there are any people who did that kind of stuff?

[xUnknown]

I can't say I've done this, but I considered this as well. Please read below:

 

A month before Thanksgiving (when I was going through another "down time"), I thought about giving my ex a call and meeting up for coffee sometime mid-December. I told myself I was going to give myself another 3-4 weeks to consider it. So that's what I did. In that month or so, my healing multiplied (if that makes sense). I started seeing the situation as "whatever, **** it, its in the past, I'm done worrying about it anymore". A month after that (3.5 months post PU) I was in a MUCH better place. Talking to other women, enjoying myself, not bugging my friends/family about the breakup. That was the time my ex came back. Showed up unexpected (something I was 100% positive she would NEVER do, just based on her past and her personality).

 

So, Do what I did. Give it some more time. You're thinking about this now, but give it some more time. Give yourself another month like I did.

 

Let's meet up, we need to talk. If you don't respond, or we don't meet up, I will know your answer is NO, and we won't be together again. I'll move on with my life, and our story ends right here, right now.

 

Don't word it like that. That's just asking for her to say, "our story has been over".

If she indeed meets up with me.

Then she'll make it known and come to you.

I would tell her that I'm moving on,

Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell her, show her you're moving on, by not contacting her.

I won't be pathetic or anything else

I feel like you going to her will make you come off that way (to her).

I really don't want to screw things up, and push her away forever,

I feel like going to her will do just that...

She knows she can have me, and by saying that words to her, I should feel much more easier, cause big burden will be off my back.

Believe me man, I thought the same exact thing. You think by telling her you've moved on, it will make her "snap" out of it and come to her senses. You have to show her, not tell her. I thought about it some more when I was in your shoes. When it came down to it, I didn't want to get rejected twice. I didn't want to hear the words that hurt me so badly again. If she broke it, she has to be the one to fix it. My ex wanted me to come chasing after her the night she ended it with me, but, she said had I done that, it would have pushed her further away. If a women doesn't recognize this, then they are immature. They broke it, they have to fix it.

 

If you are still wanting to do this in 3-4 weeks time (don't short change yourself and give it 2 weeks, give it at LEAST 3 weeks), then go for it...and don't look back. But I'm afraid to see you hurt all over again.

Edited February 12, 2014 by xUnknown

[d0cholliday]

Thanks man. I've been thinking about it almost 2 days now. I'm really screwed up in my head. I will give it a more thought, and keep NC for now. If she contacts me I will post here, so you can advise me.

[d0cholliday]

And one more thing? How to solve the issue in which she contacts me, like she did half an hour ago? I know I won't answer her, but eventually she will push me somehow, cause I will bump into her at somepoint, small town, same workplace thing... I know I'll act natural, be polite say Hi and move on... I should do this quietly.

 

That's what I was thinking, but how,if i delete her, she will know something isn't right, it's like she sense it when I'm going to do something... And now I'm afraid I will slip and fall somewhere along the line.

[xUnknown]

And one more thing? How to solve the issue in which she contacts me, like she did half an hour ago? I know I won't answer her, but eventually she will push me somehow, cause I will bump into her at somepoint, small town, same workplace thing... I know I'll act natural, be polite say Hi and move on... I should do this quietly.

 

That's what I was thinking, but how,if i delete her, she will know something isn't right, it's like she sense it when I'm going to do something... And now I'm afraid I will slip and fall somewhere along the line.

 

If she contacts you post here. It all depends on the context/subject matter of the message.

 

I think if you bump into her at work, say "hi" and be on your way. Elsewhere, I would do my best to ignore/avoid her. If she comes up to you and calls you out "oh em gee, your such an ******* for ignoring me"...crap like that - then shes seeing what its like without you in her life. I would then say something like "this is what you wanted, you wanted to end it. If you want to reconcile you have to make it known, but otherwise, I'm cordial to you at work, otherwise, I have nothing to do with you".

[erklat]

Dude I already told you that any option that includes you contracting her, is not an option at all.

 

First and foremost, you are in no shape.

 

You can't attract other chicks because you most likely spread the aura of desperation and negative energy.

 

I told you that since I stopped pining over my ex daily, I attracted couple of chicks, one of them taken - she's the most invested.

 

Until you sort yourself out through NC, you don't really have any other option.

 

Your plan sucks because:

-it reeks of fear and desperation.

-you are nowhere near the necessary amount of self improvement

-it will further desexualize you in her eyes

-it is the last try until you come up with some other plan to break NC (Google askhole)

-you think you'll accomplish something with it, but you won't.

 

Stop making excuse to contact her ffs!

 

You already have all that you need :

-we shouldn't be together = closure

-I'm happy being single = closure

-carelessness for your emotional pain = closure

-etc.

 

So, we all see closures in her actions except you because of her clouded judgment.

 

Furthermore, you claim you love her - but the only motive which drives your will to reconcile is in easing your pai. Embrace the pain dude. And forget about her and chicks until it subsides.

 

When enough time passes, you'll see this a lot clearer.

 

Immediate NC is your only option.

[jphcbpa]

xknown

 

In that month or so, my healing multiplied (if that makes sense). I started seeing the situation as "whatever, **** it, its in the past, I'm done worrying about it anymore". A month after that (3.5 months post PU) I was in a MUCH better place. Talking to other women, enjoying myself, not bugging my friends/family about the breakup. That was the time my ex came back. Showed up unexpected (something I was 100% positive she would NEVER do, just based on her past and her personality).

 

Interesting that you were becoming indifferent. Were you doing anything new or do you think it was the just amount of time of continuing on the same path?

[xUnknown]

Interesting that you were becoming indifferent. Were you doing anything new or do you think it was the just amount of time of continuing on the same path?

 

I started getting tired of going crazy. My thoughts were non stop about her and what was she thinking. I was tired of thinking about it, wasting money on my therapist talking about her, pushing friends away because it was all that I would talk about (or it would come up one way or another).

 

In all honesty its sort of a ****ty situation when it all "hit me" and I let go of it all. My grandfather passed away. That sucked. I hurt for my dad. A day or two after he passed (before funeral) I saw the movie Major League , the one with Charlie Sheen. In the movie his gf cheated on him. He was feeling all down and depressed and a player from the team came up to him in the bullpen when he was sulking.

 

Here is the quote from the movie:

Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky, breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest of my life. But you know what happened the very next week?

Rick Vaughn: What?

Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at?

 

It was something really stupid that made you think wtf was that, that made no sense, nor did he explain what he was talking about. But when he said "you see what I'm getting at" - I got it. The pain from getting kicked seemed never ending, then there were more important things than that..

 

For me it was at that time that I was like, holy ****, this just happened to me but with my grandpa. Sure, I thought about wanting her to be there for the funeral, like how I was there for her aunt, but I didn't miss her, I was pissed at her for doing this to me and NOT being there.

Edited February 12, 2014 by xUnknown

[jphcbpa]

wow...thank you for sharing that!!!!

 

I started getting tired of going crazy. My thoughts were non stop about her and what was she thinking. I was tired of thinking about it, wasting money on my therapist talking about her, pushing friends away because it was all that I would talk about (or it would come up one way or another).

 

this is where I am. Going on 8 weeks. I will have a few days of feeling great, ready to move on...like I have accepted this loss....and then wham I will start crying the next day. I know it is getting better over the long haul, but there are ups and downs in the days. Kind of like the stock market over time is going up if you look at it long term, but the intra-day trading and fluctuate.

 

it is like my heart and mind on still not on the same page. I was in the shower this morning talking to my heart. Saying, "hey, buddy, it is time you and I get on the same page and move forward".

 

the other day, my mind said...."it is probably going to take another woman to get my mind off of her.". we need to start thinking about getting on a dating website. but my heart is like..."hey, I am not ready for that".

 

I am hoping that come March and April I will start seeing that multiplying effect of recovery. In fact I am going to start saying it and affirming it. I AM RECOVERING EXPONENTIALLY!

[d0cholliday]

wow...thank you for sharing that!!!!

 

 

 

this is where I am. Going on 8 weeks. I will have a few days of feeling great, ready to move on...like I have accepted this loss....and then wham I will start crying the next day. I know it is getting better over the long haul, but there are ups and downs in the days. Kind of like the stock market over time is going up if you look at it long term, but the intra-day trading and fluctuate.

 

it is like my heart and mind on still not on the same page. I was in the shower this morning talking to my heart. Saying, "hey, buddy, it is time you and I get on the same page and move forward".

 

the other day, my mind said...."it is probably going to take another woman to get my mind off of her.". we need to start thinking about getting on a dating website. but my heart is like..."hey, I am not ready for that".

 

I am hoping that come March and April I will start seeing that multiplying effect of recovery. In fact I am going to start saying it and affirming it. I AM RECOVERING EXPONENTIALLY!

 

I know exactly what are you saying about. It is getting pretty annoying...

Can't wait this to stop, so I can put a smile on my face, and enjoy myself.

[Simon Phoenix]

d0cholliday, I don't understand why you won't block her phone number so she can't call or text you. Why won't you even consider this?

[jphcbpa]

I know exactly what are you saying about. It is getting pretty annoying...

Can't wait this to stop, so I can put a smile on my face, and enjoy myself.

 

I know how to get over her, but I do not want to do something that I will feel worse about later. There is no short cut or way around this pain. I must feel it, lean in and push through. This too shall pass.

 

In other words, I want to heal up the right way, not with distractions and acting out in avoidance behaviors.

[d0cholliday]

I did block her on social networks... Rest is a self-control, which I lack, and I need to learn to control myself. I really don't have problem not to answer her, if she throws a breadcrumb, I did that before. But on the other hand maybe I'm not ready yet,to let her go, I don't know. I know that I will get trough this, and I hope I will become even better person.

[Simon Phoenix]

I did block her on social networks... Rest is a self-control, which I lack, and I need to learn to control myself. I really don't have problem not to answer her, if she throws a breadcrumb, I did that before. But on the other hand maybe I'm not ready yet,to let her go, I don't know. I know that I will get trough this, and I hope I will become even better person.

 

I know you blocked her on social networks, but why stop there? Even if you don't answer when she calls or texts, it still causes you stress and anxiety (look at your posting in this thread). You need to cut off all ways for her to communicate with you (phone and social networks). The fact that you continue to ignore this suggestion is a bit strange.

[d0cholliday]

I know you blocked her on social networks, but why stop there? Even if you don't answer when she calls or texts, it still causes you stress and anxiety (look at your posting in this thread). You need to cut off all ways for her to communicate with you (phone and social networks). The fact that you continue to ignore this suggestion is a bit strange.

 

Maybe because I still hope she will be back. I don't know, even with NC, and doing all of this is hard enough for me. Let me take it day by day. I can't go from one extreme to another in a such short notice. There is lot of thinking and doing for me, I realised that past night... Being in such emotional state as I am, If she evens get back to me, I probably couldn't hold it together, cause apparantly I'm a mess. Taking it day by day and will see what life brings me. I just feel too much sorry for myself, and I won't do it again.

Sorry doesn't pay the bills. Actually I don't need to block her anywhere or in any kind of way... I just need to get my head straight, I can do it, and move on. Blocking her is just a way to make it easier for me, and I will accept that, and do that, cause it is mean to an end.

 

Like erklat said, I need to endure my pain, and I need to cope with what life gives me. It will be hard, it will be painful, and it will last for a while, I know that, and I came to peace with it.

 

Also I just watched the movie Rush, about Hunt and Lauda. For those who didn't watch it, I recommend it, very good movie, makes you think. Others who have watched, I'd like to get your input about the movie.

[Simon Phoenix]

Maybe because I still hope she will be back. I don't know, even with NC, and doing all of this is hard enough for me. Let me take it day by day. I can't go from one extreme to another in a such short notice. There is lot of thinking and doing for me, I realised that past night...

 

If she's going to be back, you blocking her won't make a difference. In fact, it might make her take you a lot more seriously than she takes you now. Because she doesn't take you seriously, as evidenced by her trying to contact you even after you told her you'd prefer her not to. The second part of that sounds like an excuse.

 

Being in such emotional state as I am, If she evens get back to me, I probably couldn't hold it together, cause apparantly I'm a mess. Taking it day by day and will see what life brings me. I just feel too much sorry for myself, and I won't do it again.

 

The bolded is the exact reason why I keep harping on you to block her. If you can't handle her contact, then why the hell would you give her an easy way to contact you? Your thought process makes no sense whatsoever. If you can't handle contact, then make it difficult for her to contact you. It's basic logic.

 

Sorry doesn't pay the bills. Actually I don't need to block her anywhere or in any kind of way... I just need to get my head straight, I can do it, and move on. Blocking her is just a way to make it easier for me, and I will accept that, and do that, cause it is mean to an end.

 

You do need to block her because you've admitted you can't handle it. It's going to take you a lot longer to "get your head straight" and "move on" if you allow her access to you. You don't get points for degree of difficulty in recovery -- you do what you need to do to get where you need to go. Delaying your recovery to prove a point isn't a show of strength -- it's a show of weakness. Admitting you can't handle a situation and taking the means to get away from it shows maturity.

 

Like erklat said, I need to endure my pain, and I need to cope with what life gives me. It will be hard, it will be painful, and it will last for a while, I know that, and I came to peace with it.

 

You are going to endure pain no matter what you do, but not blocking her on your phone just gives you more unnecessary pain for longer. Like I said, you don't get extra points for degree of difficulty. I really don't understand why you are so opposed to this pretty basic step, especially when your ex has shown that she doesn't care about your emotional needs.

[d0cholliday]

Truth to be told, me neither. I really don't know, and I need to understand some things about life, and learn more, also grow more. I must admit you are right, and I will block her right away. Just need to google it how can I do that on my smartphone

 

I started to think how much time I wasted from BU. And I feel like a fool. Good thing is, monday morning, semester starts, so I will be busy. I failed my exams this term, I couldn't concentrate cause 90% of my time is thinking about my ex. I started calling her ex recently, which is a good sign. Just need this one month to be left alone, and I know I will get back to life, after that It will take a little more, but eventually I'll be ok.

 

Plus I'm pretty sure that by now there is no chance of getting her back, but hope still exists. At least from what I've seen. That is said, and it is a well known fact, now I need to synchronyze my brain with my heart, and take control, let her go. Imprint this in my head.

[d0cholliday]

Here is an update...

 

My friend told me today that he talked to my ex, and he showed me the conversation on facebook. They talked about us, and he was completly honest to her when he was talking about me. She asked him if we are going out tomorrow, so she can check if I'm going out, where will I'll be etc, she asks him all the time about our whereabouts. He told her pretty much everything. He told her, I'm talking to you as a friend, he is a mess, he misses you a lot, but he is angry, he is loosing hope day by day, he told me about the mistakes he did in the relationship etc. I didn't make him do that, he did it by himself, and I'm not angry, he showed me, and I know that I will never be with her again.

 

She told him that she felt like she was alone in a relationship for 10 months, I find that apsolutely stupid, cause that's not the deal. I understand what she meant by that, cause of all of our differences, fights, me lying etc. She told him: He is alone for 3 months now, I was alone before, and I managed to pull back. He had the time to show me who he really is, he didn't take the chance, he blew it. Also she said that she doesn't want to tell me anything, that I'm not stupid, I can figure out she doesn't want me anymore. Reasons are that she can't thrust me, she can't belive in me.

 

 

Every word she said to me after BU, was a lie. And I know now if I didn't tried to talked to her before BU, we would probably be still together but it would be unhealthy RS.

 

If she doesn't want me, why was she throwing breadcrumbs, why does she ask around about me, why she was coming to my place, had sex... So many questions, and zero answers.

 

Now I feel guilt, and I feel like I could get her back during the period where we were seeing eachother after BU. I learned my mistakes, and did really hard to make up for them, and I did, at that point she left me. Like she prepared me for my next RS, "ok I showed you how to act in a RS, now go be a good boyfriend to some other chick, I will be alone, I feel fine by my own"

 

So now I know she doesn't want me back, and probably doesn't have any feelings left in her anymore, it has been a month last time we saw eachother, and had sex, and now I wonder would it be any different if I tried to work things out with her. I don't know....

 

That being said, and me knowing where I am, and what is my situation regarding my ex. She doesn't want me. And what's worst, evene though I now know, I still have hope.... How stupid am I???? How many times do I need to hear NO, to get it trough my thick skull?

 

I need some advice, I'm doing NC, and now I have even more strong reason why not to contact her, or answer to her, but I wonder if that is a right direction because of new informations poped up.

 

I'm in a panic mode, and I found out that even though I wanted to sit down and cry, I have no more tears left for her... If I was that bad, and she put up with that for that long, it has to mean something. I think she is punishing me now, she got the perfect boyfriend, who apparantly made her suffer in a RS, and now she is putting me trough all of this, punsihing me, cause she told me once I owe her a lot cause of my behavior. It feels like she will come at some point and say, ok you suffered enough, now we can be together... But I realised I don't owe her nothing anymore. I endured anough pain to make us even. That's how I feel, and think she is doing. I desreved it I guess, but lack of communication from her side has a major part in all of this.

 

I know NC is a right way to go, and I'm already on that path. Is there anything else I can do? I didn't blocked her on FB, but I removed her from news feed, turned off chat, make my post invisible to her, and now I'm thinking of putting a full block. Naturally she will know something isn't right, and she will know my friend told me what she told him. I will wait tomorrow, and go for the block. I mean how much more damage can it make? She will get mad, she won't talk to me, but that's the point, right? I will do that tomorrow or the day after, when I find it fit, cause today would be obvious.

 

If you think there is a way to salvage this, to save the relationship other than doing NC, and healing myself, please advise. I won't contact her no matter what, if she sends me a message, I won't respond unless its something constructive and about getting back together, only then, but if that ever happens, I will first consult you guys on forum. I feel guilty and lost now more than ever. Plus I admit I'm afraid of blocking her on FB... I know I lost her, but blocking her feels like I lost her forever, and ofcourse I don't want that.

 

Thank you for your help

[xUnknown]

Here are my thoughts...

 

She still cares. She wouldn't be checking up on you if she didn't. Your friend should not have said anything. I would be pissed at him for doing that - but, thats just me.

 

When your friend and your ex were talking, all it did was boost her ego. She still knows shes got you on the hook, because of how upset you are, now that he told her that stuff. What she said in reply was (1) the truth or (2) how you see it, a complete lie. If it was a complete lie, it was to boost her ego even more, while bringing you down.

 

She knew your friend would tell you - there is no doubting that.

 

This whole situation would piss me off. Frankly, I would be so upset I would somehow manage to "cross paths" with her or find some way you two can talk. She can re-iterate what she told your friend, while you can defend yourself and tell her how much bull**** it is.

 

Or, you continue NC. Block and everything. Do it today. She knows your friend told you, so it may look "obvious", but she'll know why and understand.

[Hornylildevil]

Poor guy. I like your description of yourself, and allow me to paraphrase, you're rough around the edges but with a sweet heart. Same here, bro. EVERYBODY that has a big heart has gone through this, while the heartless skip on down the road. All I can say is, it will go away. Eventually, you'll move on. And you must. Hang in there, bro...