irc333 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) "I'm guessing this belongs in the "in search of" area of the board, but I'm assuming from the jist of this woman's intentions , she's "seeking out" something at a different venue. This is interesting, met a woman in a Meetup, she actually lives closer to a big city (she works in the big city) than the city I met her in at a Meetup event. She actually prefers to go "out of the way" to avoid men in her area to find those in unfamiliar territory. I asked her why and she said "<name of city> is where I work, and too many men trying to get dates, and I work with most of them". Kind of strange to actually go out of your way to even waste money on the gas mileage just to avoid dating men in your local area. Anyone? Can anyone think what her intentions are? I mean, she doesn't have to date those in her work place, the city is loaded with them. LOL When I was with her, I recall her saying that she knows too many people in her area and she'd like to avoid that scene. Edited January 10, 2014 by irc333 Link to post Share on other sites
Trnamakesnse Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Probably just what she says. I mean I take things very literally from people so I may be wrong. From what you've said she just hasn't had luck with the people she's been meeting in her area and wants to try something new to meet new people. She's shaking things up a bit and seeing what happens is the feeling I get. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Probably just what she says. I mean I take things very literally from people so I may be wrong. From what you've said she just hasn't had luck with the people she's been meeting in her area and wants to try something new to meet new people. She's shaking things up a bit and seeing what happens is the feeling I get. Meh, I really don't see it getting her anywhere. She has access to a major metropolitan city with tons of eligible bachelor's. Why exclude those who live locally to date strangers who live further away? Link to post Share on other sites
Trnamakesnse Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Meh, I really don't see it getting her anywhere. She has access to a major metropolitan city with tons of eligible bachelor's. Why exclude those who live locally to date strangers who live further away? Because so many locally aren't acceptable and she wants something entirely new. I thought I made that clear. She wants new and different, she's looking outside her box. She isn't being 100% logical about the numbers she's working with she just wants new and that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 My guess is that she's been on the singles scene in her town for years, and seeing the same faces for years. Grass looks greener over there (anywhere except her own grass). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 My guess is that she's been on the singles scene in her town for years, and seeing the same faces for years. Grass looks greener over there (anywhere except her own grass). Yeah, that's the problem with people, "Grass is always greener" Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Yeah, that's the problem with people, "Grass is always greener" Not everyone, but people on OLD for years and years...yep, good chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Not everyone, but people on OLD for years and years...yep, good chance. Yeah, I actually saw her on POF....then her profile disappeared, then I saw her pop up at a Meetup event. Our conversation entailed how she simply doesn't care for the social life in her area. Claims TOO Many people KNOW her. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, I wish I had HER problem. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Claims TOO Many people KNOW her. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, I wish I had HER problem. lol Maybe they know her and.....don't like what they know? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 For the majority of single men in my town, they are backwards, so I get it if that is not her taste as well. Its not about the grass being greener, its about having the lawn and not some hay in a tractor. My only hestitation in this scenario (based on limited data)...is what is she hiding ? Her reputatation...possible relations? Or is she genuinely more versatile in her ability to seek out variety , after all its the spice of life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 For the majority of single men in my town, they are backwards, so I get it if that is not her taste as well. Its not about the grass being greener, its about having the lawn and not some hay in a tractor. My only hestitation in this scenario (based on limited data)...is what is she hiding ? Her reputatation...possible relations? Or is she genuinely more versatile in her ability to seek out variety , after all its the spice of life! This woman has access to quite a large city, she needs ALL the variety she needs right in that city. She tells me too many people "know" her , whatever that means. I fail to see how that's a problem though. I think I'm seeing a common denominator here. It's this attraction to dating strangers "in case things don't work out", at least they'll be a "fart in the wind" when they break up. But see, a person is setting themselves up for failure with an attitude like that. We live in a society of disposable relationships, so perhaps this is a form of prep work for her. If you live in the same town and you start dating someone there, you shouldn't be thinking or worrying about even BEFORE You go out ON the first date with that person, "WHat if it doesn't work out" ...it means you're insecure if you think this way. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 She could be genuine in that she doesn't want to date people she knows or works with. She could prefer to keep her private life private and feel that's more likely if she's away from home. She could be married or attached and avoiding her own territory for obvious reasons! Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 She could be genuine in that she doesn't want to date people she knows or works with. She could prefer to keep her private life private and feel that's more likely if she's away from home. She could be married or attached and avoiding her own territory for obvious reasons! I forgot to add...she has herself , in her profile, listed as someone who lives in one city (the city she desires to visit), but told me me she lives in another. That is highly suspect. Link to post Share on other sites
youdunsay Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I kind of understand. I come from and still staying in a small city. It is tough to avoid the same faces you're seeing every week or every year. She's probably shy or she doesn't want to be estranged into gossip clubs as people who know her might be talking behind her back. I don't mean she's not well liked but rather plausibly bystanders (parents, friends, coworkers, acquaintances) comments are just too bothersome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 I kind of understand. I come from and still staying in a small city. It is tough to avoid the same faces you're seeing every week or every year. She's probably shy or she doesn't want to be estranged into gossip clubs as people who know her might be talking behind her back. I don't mean she's not well liked but rather plausibly bystanders (parents, friends, coworkers, acquaintances) comments are just too bothersome. Right, but I don't see why running and hiding into an area of "refuge" to a place where people don't know her is going to help. Over time, people will get to know her then everyone in the NEW city will know her as well. Then she will brought back into the same dilemma anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 To me someone saying that sounds like they are stepping out on a relationship of some kind. Perhaps she's dating someone in that city and does not want to get caught stepping out on her boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I think it's questionable why she's doing this. As others have said, she may be cheating on a boyfriend from her own area, or testing the waters before she leaves a current relationship, and so she doesn't want people she knows to see her dating profile up. I know someone who does this--prospects for dates outside of his area because he doesn't want his wife to find out about his activities. If I knew the wife, I'd tip her off. Another possibility is that, as she said, she is well known in her area and doesn't want word getting around about her dating life, which might affect her career if there is something suspect about it, or she doesn't like too personal information about her being circulated among people she knows that may come from people she has been dating. Or she damaged her reputation in her own town, and wants to start with a clean slate in a new town where nobody knows her. I'd say it's one of those three scenarios. Link to post Share on other sites
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